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Don't know why I'm coming up with these kind of journal entries.. I think just the content in TL makes me think of these topics in general -_-a.
Anyway..
There is no one generic solution to how all boys should approach girls. I can't speak for all girls but I can talk about what has worked and what doesn't work in my past experience. A lot of this is pretty intuitive already.
The approach of a man changes depending on their level of physical attractiveness. Women will respond differently depending on how comfortable they are with the man. The hotter the guy is, the more physically comfortable she can get with him right off the bat. The less hot the guy, the more she would be inclined to keep her distance.
Your goal is to find the right approach depending on your stats. Let's start with the basics. The easiest thing to begin with is working on your physical attractiveness - shower daily, get a nice haircut, keep your skin clear, build up your body and get nice clothing. After that, check your level stats:
- Level 1 Physical Attractiveness would mean you need at least a Level 10 Personality
- Level 10 Physical Attractiveness would mean you need at least a Level 1 Personality
I. Ugly Approach
If you're an ugly guy, you don't want to be all over the girl you are interested in right off the bat. Your first goal is to get her to be comfortable with you by conversing with her and engaging in activities that are mutually enjoyable. Spend a lot of time with her. The more you get to know her, the more you can gauge whether you really are interested in her inside and out. The same goes for her. The more you enjoy each other's company, the more she will want to spend time with her.
Once she hangs out with you enough that she is comfortable around you without having her guard up, you can start getting physically close to her. Start with just tapping her on her shoulder, sitting next to her, hugging her to greet her. You can gauge from your attempts at being physically closer to her how comfortable she is depending on how she reacts. Once you get from her a big solid hug, you know she is comfy enough. You can move on to putting your arm around her shoulder and holding on to her arm or her hand.
Do not initiate saying something like 'i like you' or 'will you go out on a date with me'. Always go with 'wanna grab lunch/dinner', 'wanna see this movie' or 'wanna play this game'. If your friends see her with you enough they will start asking you guys if you are going out with each other. That will implant the right idea in her head. You can judge by her answer how she feels about your relationship. If you feel that she is comfortable enough, you can initiate a kiss if the timing calls for it. If she isn't entirely opposed to the idea of you being together, that is when you can talk about determining the relationship.
II. Hot Approach
If you are hot, you may catch her attention right away but she may not make any moves towards you. In fact, she might think you are not worth the approach because you are most probably already taken, not interested, full of yourself or a player. It's easy to break the ice if you already have the right physical assets. All you have to do is pay attention to the girl of interest and ask about her. Engage in conversation while being already physically close to her. If she leans closer to you, you know she is interested. If she is still uptight and staying as far away from you as possible, your approach is seen as hostile and you best keep your distance or leave.
Hot guys don't have to do much to get a girl interested. They can jump into the making out stage very quickly. The problem is longevity. If you jump into sex right away, you become a throw away fuck buddy. You can only stick around if you up your personality and keep her interested in you while at the same time showing your interest in her.
III. Average guy approach
The average guy should take the middle road between the hot guy and the ugly guy's approaches =p. Start out with the non threatening hanging out dates. Show your interest with the occasional flirting. Use your physical proximity in relation to her to show your interest.
Warnings:
- Do not obsess over a girl even before you get to spend enough time with her to get to know her. Do not think too much. It just makes you uber nervous and screws you up in the end.
- Do not use pick up lines unless you are a really hot guy and you can get away with it.
- Do not say "I love you" too early.
 
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Thanks MNM I get sick of reading those threads too I can't remember the last one I clicked on.
An approach I found that worked for me alot in my single days was instead of asking a girl out with a line like "wanna grab lunch" i would suggest a restaurant AND assume she wanted to go out with me at the same time. So I would say "Hey Becky(or w.e) you free for Suggins after work tonight?" Anytime you can come across as confident you are in good position for the move. MnM is right if you get nervous women tend to not like it unless you are the adorable puppy dog looking guy who can somehow pull it off. And one last note, try never to come accross as cocky. Confidence is key but cocky will keep you out her life and her pants fast, especially if you are average. Good blog mnm.
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This is like the best thing ever. ever.
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StarN's Stats
Level 5 Physical Attractiveness
Level 5 Good Personality
After reading this entry
Level 10 Wisdom
Thanks mnm
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GrandInquisitor
New York City13113 Posts
The day when I see mnm post a "I need guy help plz =( =( =(" topic in General Forum is the day I shit my pants laughing
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haha!! this made me giggle, I'm not tyring to be mean but.. nvm I'll keep it to myself don't want to start a flame war 
It's a good read and will work with some cases.
What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C.
Edit: I added words to make sense. 
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On May 31 2007 15:39 BuGzlToOnl wrote:What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C.
D) None of the above, with pics like that you should be writing the blog on how to beat off girls with a stick
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On May 31 2007 16:04 bErAtEd- wrote:Show nested quote +On May 31 2007 15:39 BuGzlToOnl wrote:What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C. D) None of the above, with pics like that you should be writing the blog on how to beat off girls with a stick
HAHAHA!!!
Edit: I don't know the crazy approach has always worked well for me, I meet the best/most interesting people. The real cool laid backs ones that do craziest shit that makes every day fun as hell!
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Yah, the thing about all these blogs is that there is no wrong or right answer, you just have to find what works for you. Now I don't think that these blogs are bad because some people do just need a push in the right direction. More than anything it is just important to be who you are. You don't want to act for the rest of your life so why try to win a girl over that way.
Obviously crazy works for you, as for me I didn't have to do shit, she invited me over to her hot tub and came out in a bikini. The rest is history 
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Wow, what a great post, this was direly needed. <3
All that is true the other way around too. But I think mostly girls want to the guy to be the one who initiates things.
From my perspective this is exactly how you should confront this problem. It's basically:
1. be nice, don't put pressure on the girl
2. take your time, see if you like her and if she likes you
3. make small steps
4. eventually you'll be okay
How long do you think should you know each other before you can start a relationship? I think the longer you wait the better are your chances that you stay together for longer than a couple of months. Same with sex, as you explained. (even though there are couples that had sex on the very first date) It's something that's totally out of fashion though.
The only thing that's missing in your analysis is how and when someone should make the final move. I think this a pretty difficult question.
Usually it's the guy who has to take the initiative. I onced asked a girl about who made the first move when she got together (is this how you say that?) with her boyfriend (she was about 22), and it was funny how she wouldn't admit that she made the first move. She insisted that they both leaned over to kiss each other at the same time, which is laughable. I mean, of course it can look like that, but one has to make the first move I think.
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if you guys arent both horn dogs right off the bat, the first kiss is usually the point when you can say that both parties have shown interest (beyond friendship) in each other. you're right in saying that its usually the guy who initiates this. in most of my previous encounters, i (as a female) didn't have to do any initiating at all. the kiss has to come when the environment is perfect and it has to come naturally. the guy would have to also make sure that at that point in time, the girl is comfortable enough with him. a good kiss gauge is for the guy to lean in towards the girl and to see if the girl leans in towards the guy. I heard somewhere that the guy goes 90% of the way and should wait for the girl to come in the last 10% (was this from hitch?). I agree with this approach.
As for timing, it differes per couple. I think on average, I have a tendency to wait about a month before I know I have genuine interest in a guy and I can delve into a relationship. I don't want to start too early or else I end up in throw away relationships which had no chance right from the start. I say just go with the flow of things. Enjoy the present and don't think too much about the future. Doing so can cloud your judgment.
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how often did you meet the guy in that one month?
I went with about 3-4 moths.
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5'd
you have renewed my faith in blogs
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i had no fucking idea that tl had a blog feature. crazy. hi mnm (im creative) ;p
so, in your female mind, does my pale white skin put me in the "ugly guy category"? T_T
btw, did you actually imply that a guy wouldn't want to be a throw-away fuck buddy? what did i just read?????
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Skew, if you're looking for sex, hit on girls that want o have sex with random people also. The is no formula that lets you have sex with every girl you want to have sex with. This entry is about relationships.
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distant_voice: back in college it was easy to see these guys several times a week since they went to the same school. in high school, less often since i went to an all girls school. after college, things slow down again so it could take about 1-2 months, meeting about once a week or so. note that within these 1-2 months, email, im and phone call exchanges are included. phone calls would gradually build up also from once a week to several times a week. but like i said, it changes per relationship.
skew: hi creative =p. don't ask me to start rating guys =[. hardly anyone falls under level 1 physical attractiveness or level 10. most guys are in some range in between and that includes you =p. its up to you to figure out your range and find the best approach acc to that. or heck you can even try the other way and try diff approaches and figure out your range based on that =].
i didn't imply that a guy would or wouldn't want a fuck buddy.. although, attractiveness is also a factor on the approach for that.. and there are certain ways to do it.. but that's another blog entry that i don't think i should write. i don't encourage that activity it many times has disastrous results =p.
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hmm, don't think I have ever heard a fuck buddy guide from a girl lol. Write it up gogogo.
I personally think it can be really hard if both parties don't have the right personalities and aren't somewhat laid back by nature, but it is a cool experince.
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mnm Didn't you make a thread about how you had trouble making friends?
Just curious...
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On May 31 2007 17:20 distant_voice wrote:
Skew, if you're looking for sex, hit on girls that want o have sex with random people also. The is no formula that lets you have sex with every girl you want to have sex with. This entry is about relationships.
whoa, serious. calm down...
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yea.. something like help an introverted mnm thread. i am pretty quiet and i tend not to go outside of my comfort zone too much so in a party environment (outside of starcraft) or when networking for work, i am not as effective. i have improved a lot since then though.
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MURICA15980 Posts
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If it only were this easy, I'd have gotten some lately.
This is the social equivalent of theorycraft :/
A for effort, E for usefulness.
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On June 01 2007 04:22 Cpt Obvious wrote:
If it only were this easy, I'd have gotten some lately.
This is the social equivalent of theorycraft :/
A for effort, E for usefulness.
well obviously if you aren't very good looking then you need to lower your expectations of girls:O (look wise)
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On June 01 2007 06:59 OverTheUnder wrote:Show nested quote +On June 01 2007 04:22 Cpt Obvious wrote:
If it only were this easy, I\'d have gotten some lately.
This is the social equivalent of theorycraft :/
A for effort, E for usefulness. well obviously if you aren\'t very good looking then you need to lower your expectations of girls:O (look wise)
that couldn\'t be further from the truth. i have many ugly friends (most of them are fat, too) that have cuter girlfriends than ill ever have simply because of their insanely quick personalities and the ability to talk about absolutely nothing and have everyone love every second of it (id trade a fucking arm to do this). these abilities are far more rare and desirable than looks, in this day and age.
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On June 01 2007 12:16 Skew wrote:Show nested quote +On June 01 2007 06:59 OverTheUnder wrote:On June 01 2007 04:22 Cpt Obvious wrote:
If it only were this easy, I\'d have gotten some lately.
This is the social equivalent of theorycraft :/
A for effort, E for usefulness. well obviously if you aren't very good looking then you need to lower your expectations of girls:O (look wise) that couldn't be further from the truth. i have many ugly friends (most of them are fat, too) that have cuter girlfriends than ill ever have simply because of their insanely quick personalities and the ability to talk about absolutely nothing and have everyone love every second of it (id trade a fucking arm to do this). these abilities are far more rare and desirable than looks, in this day and age.
good for them:D Some guys can get good looking girls with a great personality alone, but that is hardly the majority. Maybe I'm just being shallow, but I know a lot of hot girls that wouldn't go out with an ugly guy even if they had a 10/10 personality. Many people require a "minimum" in both personality and looks;o
edit: I could definitely see girls putting more weight on personality than guys though.
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Those who aren't as physically gifted definitely still have a big chance. As long as they don't sulk with self pity and they enjoy life and are themselves around people, they are likely to have their personalities shine through and attract those who are compatible. In fact, they are more likely to attract compatible people than their more physically gifted counterparts because the attraction isn't as superficial.
But yea, I wouldn't try too hard if i was an ugly guy and I wanted a hot girl and she just isn't attracted to my personality =p.
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BAHHGHAGHAGHAHHGAHGHAHGHAGHAHGHAGHA Damn I loved this entry
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haha, I like this
you're taking pity on tl.net ^_^
guys, this is not a bible, don't read too much into this and wonder where you went wrong if things still fail. the main point still is, be natural, be yourself, play your own assets to the max and don't try to play out a character that you are not. You'll be fine. There is no rule that you should lean into the girl 90% before she's willing to kiss you, lol.
be natural, be yourself. I could say it over and over again a thousand times to pound it into everyone's heads. That's what girls like. play your own assets, not someone else's.
genuinely good post tho mnm
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so, a girl just have to wait for a guy to pick her up?
if she wants one guy can't she (you) just go to him and start a conversation?; or she will have better chances just wearing a sumary outfit + some flirtation, innuendoes, tricks and gimmicks....
from your experience and taking in to accout the needs/wants of both parties, in what situation a guy and a girl became friends/lovers more often: when the guy makes the first move or viceversa?
(i realize that the guy usually makes the first move but that is still a valid question).
can you see your self in a situation like that?. would you approach a guy you like? . if not, why wouldn't you do it?
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a girl doesn't 'have to' wait for a guy to pick her up.. but more often than not she already will have her hands full with the guys who take action that guys who don't take action come in second. indeed, if she wants a specific guy, she can go talk to him.
ideally the attraction between two people will cause them to gravitate to each other and thus this mutual want to hang out with each other will cause them to spend much time together and technically both parties put in the same amount of effort. luckily, a lot of my experience has been like that.. and these experiences turn out to be the best and more successful ones. the guy usually initiates taking the relationship to the next level though.
i do approach guys i like. i don't wait until i obsess over him from a distance like a lot of guys do. the sparks show in conversation. maybe i do make moves and i don't even notice it. i have a tendency to balance out the guy of interest though. if i see that the guy i am interested in might be interested in me, my interest for him grows to match what seems to be his level of interest in me. if the guy i am interested in doesnt have as much interest in me, my interest in him tends to dwindle. i don't really understand why you would want to go out with someone who doesn't like you.
for many passive guys, i see the trend of the guy taking a humungous interest in a girl and obsessing over it while he watches her from afar. many times the girl doesn't even know of the guy. this imbalance tends to doom the relationship from the start because the passive guy, if he makes a move, ends up looking very needy and desparate and scares the girl away. i keep telling these guys not to think too much, go with the flow. its best to learn how to read situations and let (controlled) feelings drive your actions.
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what you said is fairly decent and common but what about passion?; yes, the persons with a more reasoned attitude toward metting persons of the oposite sex do get their way more often but also the approach becomes routine, mechanized and for one to wait for feedback (or untill they gravitate) from the person they approach is at best neuter. there is no fire, no desire; to just wait for things to happen after some shallow look assessments is pretty dull. or you actively suppress your desire to not look like an obssesed person?
a person can initially reject another, from various reasons which may not include the fact that he does not like you; and from this
if i see that the guy i am interested in might be interested in me, my interest for him grows to match what seems to be his level of interest in me. if the guy i am interested in doesnt have as much interest in me, my interest in him tends to dwindle.
i understood that you quit pretty easy or at least you do not bother much.
i personally prefer a healthy obsession opposed to a quid pro quo friendship/love fling.
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passion is premature when you just meet a person. romantic obsession over someone you don't even know makes no sense.
i dont actively suppress my desires. i actively act upon my desires. the amount of attraction shown by both parties play a big role in the resulting bond between the two. if i am interested in a guy and he shows interest in me, my interest in him grows since i know there is a good possibility of progressing. if im interested in a guy and he shows no interest in me, my interest in him diminishes because i am not as attracted to someone who has no interest in me.
i suppose my liking just adapts well to circumstances.
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passion is premature when you just meet a person. romantic obsession over someone you don't even know makes no sense.
that is the diference between a girl and a guy; a girl needs to be swept off her feet (bullshited a little) for the passion to emerge a guy does not; he can have pure passion at first then later after he sees how many needs you have (things that needed to be met) for building that passion he kind of quits, becomes more shallow.
it's like after a guy tells a girl he likes her immediately she needs to know why: is it her looks, her brain, her personality, her body...etc; upon finding out (IF there is a specific trait the guy likes) she tends to ruin it with to much 'attention' (flaunt).
romantic obssesion is the shit when you know where to draw the line.
sometimes is better to try your best then hope for the best. it saves you a lot of remorse.
i suppose my liking just adapts well to circumstances.
did you ever thought of dictate those circumstances?.
also didn't girls suppose to have more elaborate feelings, a recognised intuition, a natural ability to read men (faces); after all that why do you need your passion to be awoken? you have from the start the means to weigh someones worth.
is it that your so called passion is only your vanity and the guy your mirror?.
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Fuck, mnm, you are my fucking hero right now. I have serious probems and I always get nervous when I approach a girl. You're my savior from now on. It's my first week with my girl, so I start out now! Thanks!
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ToT)MidiaN(
England2183 Posts
"depending on stats" ..... I'm A+ ez going?!
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I think mnm could have told you guys anything and half of you would have gone out right away and tried it haha. The advantages of being tl's only girl =x
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I find this to be hilarious for some reason. Thanks for the read.
PS- I am just curious, How would you rate me on your scales (I can take any negatives, be honest)
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haha just read this
ugly approach seems like way too much work T_T
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God you're so right. I hate it when girls just use me for sex and then throw me away like cheap trash. My good looks are killing my social life. 
But seriously. I think this is very mean. It's more in the attitude, if you're not seriously ugly that is. At least that's what I noticed around here.
Take me for example (seriously this time): I'm usually a shy individual, and I tend to lean towards long-lasting relationships. But now and then, when I go out with some of my friends, I just feel like acting different for some reason, and just be really impulsive. I don't LIKE meeting girls in clubs but if I feel like it I can just "fake" some of my friends' personalities, and act all confident, make moves, cut corners, etc. And 60% of the time it works ALL the time!
Now I may not do this often, but if there's one thing i know for sure is that looking confident and acting like you know the girl wants you badly (even if she doesn't), maybe even be cocky... works.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.calbearmnm.com/starcraft/tl/gallery/photos/BuGzlToOnl.jpg)
