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Don't know why I'm coming up with these kind of journal entries.. I think just the content in TL makes me think of these topics in general -_-a.
Anyway..
There is no one generic solution to how all boys should approach girls. I can't speak for all girls but I can talk about what has worked and what doesn't work in my past experience. A lot of this is pretty intuitive already.
The approach of a man changes depending on their level of physical attractiveness. Women will respond differently depending on how comfortable they are with the man. The hotter the guy is, the more physically comfortable she can get with him right off the bat. The less hot the guy, the more she would be inclined to keep her distance.
Your goal is to find the right approach depending on your stats. Let's start with the basics. The easiest thing to begin with is working on your physical attractiveness - shower daily, get a nice haircut, keep your skin clear, build up your body and get nice clothing. After that, check your level stats: - Level 1 Physical Attractiveness would mean you need at least a Level 10 Personality - Level 10 Physical Attractiveness would mean you need at least a Level 1 Personality
I. Ugly Approach
If you're an ugly guy, you don't want to be all over the girl you are interested in right off the bat. Your first goal is to get her to be comfortable with you by conversing with her and engaging in activities that are mutually enjoyable. Spend a lot of time with her. The more you get to know her, the more you can gauge whether you really are interested in her inside and out. The same goes for her. The more you enjoy each other's company, the more she will want to spend time with her.
Once she hangs out with you enough that she is comfortable around you without having her guard up, you can start getting physically close to her. Start with just tapping her on her shoulder, sitting next to her, hugging her to greet her. You can gauge from your attempts at being physically closer to her how comfortable she is depending on how she reacts. Once you get from her a big solid hug, you know she is comfy enough. You can move on to putting your arm around her shoulder and holding on to her arm or her hand.
Do not initiate saying something like 'i like you' or 'will you go out on a date with me'. Always go with 'wanna grab lunch/dinner', 'wanna see this movie' or 'wanna play this game'. If your friends see her with you enough they will start asking you guys if you are going out with each other. That will implant the right idea in her head. You can judge by her answer how she feels about your relationship. If you feel that she is comfortable enough, you can initiate a kiss if the timing calls for it. If she isn't entirely opposed to the idea of you being together, that is when you can talk about determining the relationship.
II. Hot Approach
If you are hot, you may catch her attention right away but she may not make any moves towards you. In fact, she might think you are not worth the approach because you are most probably already taken, not interested, full of yourself or a player. It's easy to break the ice if you already have the right physical assets. All you have to do is pay attention to the girl of interest and ask about her. Engage in conversation while being already physically close to her. If she leans closer to you, you know she is interested. If she is still uptight and staying as far away from you as possible, your approach is seen as hostile and you best keep your distance or leave.
Hot guys don't have to do much to get a girl interested. They can jump into the making out stage very quickly. The problem is longevity. If you jump into sex right away, you become a throw away fuck buddy. You can only stick around if you up your personality and keep her interested in you while at the same time showing your interest in her.
III. Average guy approach
The average guy should take the middle road between the hot guy and the ugly guy's approaches =p. Start out with the non threatening hanging out dates. Show your interest with the occasional flirting. Use your physical proximity in relation to her to show your interest.
Warnings: - Do not obsess over a girl even before you get to spend enough time with her to get to know her. Do not think too much. It just makes you uber nervous and screws you up in the end. - Do not use pick up lines unless you are a really hot guy and you can get away with it. - Do not say "I love you" too early.
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Thanks MNM I get sick of reading those threads too I can't remember the last one I clicked on. An approach I found that worked for me alot in my single days was instead of asking a girl out with a line like "wanna grab lunch" i would suggest a restaurant AND assume she wanted to go out with me at the same time. So I would say "Hey Becky(or w.e) you free for Suggins after work tonight?" Anytime you can come across as confident you are in good position for the move. MnM is right if you get nervous women tend to not like it unless you are the adorable puppy dog looking guy who can somehow pull it off. And one last note, try never to come accross as cocky. Confidence is key but cocky will keep you out her life and her pants fast, especially if you are average. Good blog mnm.
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This is like the best thing ever. ever.
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StarN's Stats Level 5 Physical Attractiveness Level 5 Good Personality After reading this entry Level 10 Wisdom
Thanks mnm
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GrandInquisitor
New York City13113 Posts
The day when I see mnm post a "I need guy help plz =( =( =(" topic in General Forum is the day I shit my pants laughing
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haha!! this made me giggle, I'm not tyring to be mean but.. nvm I'll keep it to myself don't want to start a flame war
It's a good read and will work with some cases.
What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C.
Edit: I added words to make sense.
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On May 31 2007 15:39 BuGzlToOnl wrote:What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C.
D) None of the above, with pics like that you should be writing the blog on how to beat off girls with a stick
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On May 31 2007 16:04 bErAtEd- wrote:Show nested quote +On May 31 2007 15:39 BuGzlToOnl wrote:What approach do you guys think I should take (just for fun) A. B. or C. D) None of the above, with pics like that you should be writing the blog on how to beat off girls with a stick
HAHAHA!!!
Edit: I don't know the crazy approach has always worked well for me, I meet the best/most interesting people. The real cool laid backs ones that do craziest shit that makes every day fun as hell!
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Yah, the thing about all these blogs is that there is no wrong or right answer, you just have to find what works for you. Now I don't think that these blogs are bad because some people do just need a push in the right direction. More than anything it is just important to be who you are. You don't want to act for the rest of your life so why try to win a girl over that way.
Obviously crazy works for you, as for me I didn't have to do shit, she invited me over to her hot tub and came out in a bikini. The rest is history
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Wow, what a great post, this was direly needed. <3
All that is true the other way around too. But I think mostly girls want to the guy to be the one who initiates things.
From my perspective this is exactly how you should confront this problem. It's basically: 1. be nice, don't put pressure on the girl 2. take your time, see if you like her and if she likes you 3. make small steps 4. eventually you'll be okay
How long do you think should you know each other before you can start a relationship? I think the longer you wait the better are your chances that you stay together for longer than a couple of months. Same with sex, as you explained. (even though there are couples that had sex on the very first date) It's something that's totally out of fashion though.
The only thing that's missing in your analysis is how and when someone should make the final move. I think this a pretty difficult question.
Usually it's the guy who has to take the initiative. I onced asked a girl about who made the first move when she got together (is this how you say that?) with her boyfriend (she was about 22), and it was funny how she wouldn't admit that she made the first move. She insisted that they both leaned over to kiss each other at the same time, which is laughable. I mean, of course it can look like that, but one has to make the first move I think.
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if you guys arent both horn dogs right off the bat, the first kiss is usually the point when you can say that both parties have shown interest (beyond friendship) in each other. you're right in saying that its usually the guy who initiates this. in most of my previous encounters, i (as a female) didn't have to do any initiating at all. the kiss has to come when the environment is perfect and it has to come naturally. the guy would have to also make sure that at that point in time, the girl is comfortable enough with him. a good kiss gauge is for the guy to lean in towards the girl and to see if the girl leans in towards the guy. I heard somewhere that the guy goes 90% of the way and should wait for the girl to come in the last 10% (was this from hitch?). I agree with this approach.
As for timing, it differes per couple. I think on average, I have a tendency to wait about a month before I know I have genuine interest in a guy and I can delve into a relationship. I don't want to start too early or else I end up in throw away relationships which had no chance right from the start. I say just go with the flow of things. Enjoy the present and don't think too much about the future. Doing so can cloud your judgment.
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how often did you meet the guy in that one month?
I went with about 3-4 moths.
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5'd
you have renewed my faith in blogs
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i had no fucking idea that tl had a blog feature. crazy. hi mnm (im creative) ;p
so, in your female mind, does my pale white skin put me in the "ugly guy category"? T_T
btw, did you actually imply that a guy wouldn't want to be a throw-away fuck buddy? what did i just read?????
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Skew, if you're looking for sex, hit on girls that want o have sex with random people also. The is no formula that lets you have sex with every girl you want to have sex with. This entry is about relationships.
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distant_voice: back in college it was easy to see these guys several times a week since they went to the same school. in high school, less often since i went to an all girls school. after college, things slow down again so it could take about 1-2 months, meeting about once a week or so. note that within these 1-2 months, email, im and phone call exchanges are included. phone calls would gradually build up also from once a week to several times a week. but like i said, it changes per relationship.
skew: hi creative =p. don't ask me to start rating guys =[. hardly anyone falls under level 1 physical attractiveness or level 10. most guys are in some range in between and that includes you =p. its up to you to figure out your range and find the best approach acc to that. or heck you can even try the other way and try diff approaches and figure out your range based on that =].
i didn't imply that a guy would or wouldn't want a fuck buddy.. although, attractiveness is also a factor on the approach for that.. and there are certain ways to do it.. but that's another blog entry that i don't think i should write. i don't encourage that activity it many times has disastrous results =p.
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hmm, don't think I have ever heard a fuck buddy guide from a girl lol. Write it up gogogo.
I personally think it can be really hard if both parties don't have the right personalities and aren't somewhat laid back by nature, but it is a cool experince.
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mnm Didn't you make a thread about how you had trouble making friends?
Just curious...
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On May 31 2007 17:20 distant_voice wrote: Skew, if you're looking for sex, hit on girls that want o have sex with random people also. The is no formula that lets you have sex with every girl you want to have sex with. This entry is about relationships.
whoa, serious. calm down...
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yea.. something like help an introverted mnm thread. i am pretty quiet and i tend not to go outside of my comfort zone too much so in a party environment (outside of starcraft) or when networking for work, i am not as effective. i have improved a lot since then though.
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