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6 years after retirement. - Page 4

Blogs > Rain
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lioneros
Profile Joined November 2016
15 Posts
March 14 2018 12:21 GMT
#61
Well, you're not the only one. I'm 38 and I feel the same way. Studied, worked and still feeling this is not the thing for me... Imho explore, travel and when you enjoy someting a lot, try make a living out of it...
Baneour
Profile Blog Joined February 2018
105 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-25 17:38:17
March 14 2018 13:52 GMT
#62
warblob004
Profile Joined January 2011
United States198 Posts
March 14 2018 17:10 GMT
#63
It doesn't matter how many accomplishments you achieved on stage, what you have done as a pro player is an incredible once in a lifetime feat. People NEVER go through school, then the military, then get a job, and then "go pro" while working. What you've accomplished following your dreams and experiencing is something you can and should cherish for a lifetime. Sure, your future is more uncertain now and you may not have understood the full ramifications of your decision to go pro back in the day, but living through that pro-player drive and determination to play is an unfathomable dream to most. That experience is a dream to most, so far away from reach that they assume its not even possible but would love to hear about.

You are not alone, your worries and troubles are completely understandable, and your stories enrich the lives of all other pro-gamers of any genre. Please continue to tell them.

I know it can be incredibly frustrating to not know what you want and to feel like so many things are not going well. It also doesn't help that the people around you seem younger and more successful while you still carry the burden of not only military service but also the uncertainty of your own future. This does not mean you are doing poorly in life.

"I have not failed; I've simply found 10,000 ways it won't work." ~Thomas Edison
Djabanete
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States2786 Posts
March 14 2018 18:21 GMT
#64
It's common for people to be unsure of what they want to do for the rest of their lives when they're in their 20s. First, do your very best with the commitments you've taken on (i.e., coursework). Second, don't think of military service as an obstacle --- having structure, disciple, and camaraderie can be amazingly valuable for someone in your shoes, who has talent but not direction. You may find that, after military service, you have a much better idea of what you want and the mental tools to work toward it. Perhaps you should aim to do your service sooner rather than later, since you'll have to do it some time. Third, if you're depressed, take that seriously. As a starting point, a lot of colleges have programs for free counseling. You might also consider letting a professor know if you're beginning to struggle in their class. Most professors would love to give you a helping hand. For example, a professor might let you do homework in their office on a weekly basis, or might tutor you, or might let you redo coursework (depending on the circumstances). Having any kind of trustworthy mentor can be a huge help.

Your situation doesn't sound at all hopeless. I expect that in 5 or 6 years you will look back and marvel at how far you've come.
May the BeSt man win.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
March 14 2018 19:27 GMT
#65
One of my many keys to unhappiness is to compare myself to others. I will either find them frustratingly insufficient, or I will find myself woefully inadequate. This is the kind of zen principle I live my life by, and I see you're coming along nicely.

To be honest, if you think about what happiness really is, you'll see how silly it is to believe you can control it. Happiness is about things unexpectedly going well. If you work really hard and achieve what you wanted, the happiness is never proportional to the effort you put in, you spend ages working toward something and feel good about it for a few hours once you're done. On the other hand, when you just out of no where meet someone really cool, or find out about something interesting, it feels amazing and you didn't have to work for it at all, and that excitement about this new thing can even last quite awhile.

You work hard and learn stuff so that you can survive and get by. That's what I'm starting to believe. It's not the fun part of life most of the time. The fun part of life is when things go well for no reason. The more you try to control that and manufacture fun, the less fun anything is. At best you can just try to make sure your life doesn't get too routine and that you're allowing the possibility of fun things happening.

One final thought is that some people are just better at feeling neutral when nothing is going on than others, some people are more resilient to a streak of bad luck, some people's brains light up more quickly to a small amount of happiness than others, or can hang onto that happiness longer. You can't really control that much either. But you can try to understand what type you are and maybe understand on at least an intellectual level whether or not your situation is truly serious, or if you are just sensitive. Lots of people give up too easy because they convince themselves things are too hard when they really aren't, and sometimes those people end up denying themselves some future happiness or stability.

In any case, there's a difference between not being sure where you'll land and not being happy doing anything. You know your own mind, and you can best judge whether this is a pathological issue or if this is just a short phase.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Caelum93
Profile Joined March 2018
62 Posts
March 14 2018 20:02 GMT
#66
English is my 3rd Language so be prepared^^

@Rain I feel with you I studied business information(Bachlor 6 semester) but I am just bored of this shit,too and I dont know what to do with my life ....During my studies I was very social did different stuff like tried learning Chinese(HSK !) and Spanish(A2).My biggest issue is I can get along with every person or group but I dont really fit complete in one group. I mean I like food,olympic weightlifting/sports in general,politics and so on to find people.Sometimes I am just tired of all this shit around me when I stand up.

Maybe the Military Service gives you a break about worrying to get a clear mind to sort what would you like to do.Perhaps you could try to become a teacher in the USA if you like to teach people.I noticed when I helped my younger mates in the university It was pretty nice feeling to teach other people and it was fun to me like 7 years ago to play a fucking long macro game in TvZ/TvT (No love for Protoss->IMBA) :D.In the end it is your choice to do it even if you are 30 it isnt the apocalypse just do which you can enjoy but dont hang around in a low wage trap with a shitty work life balance.In Germany you see enough people who study their 2nd subject because 'something with media' doesnt work always well.
Btw. I am the same age like you so I can understand your situation well.

Tl;dr,Do what you like. you are responsible for yourself and not for others but deal with the consequences and try always hard like in your Starcraft days this will help a lot with a good mind set!
Matroid_Prime
Profile Joined December 2013
Canada59 Posts
March 14 2018 23:44 GMT
#67
Hey Rain, you have another 40 years of work ahead of your if you retire at 65. That's a LONG time. Don't beat yourself up and compare yourself to others. Enjoy the rich experiences you have had and know that you have a long work life ahead of you!
Lifelong fan of Starcraft
cArn-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Korea (South)824 Posts
March 15 2018 00:22 GMT
#68
Bois bois boooois !!!
Twitter : http://twitter.com/CARNDARAK
dark.matter
Profile Joined April 2017
179 Posts
March 15 2018 09:07 GMT
#69
I dropped out of 2 schools, finally finished when I was 26? I felt behind, but now 5 years later I feel really good. Life is hard. Just believe you'll be able to make some money and be successful one way or another, it takes time to find your way and its always evolving. It sucks that some lessons have to be expensive but if everything turns out, and it seems like it will, you'll be happy.
fronkschnonk
Profile Joined November 2011
Germany622 Posts
March 16 2018 00:01 GMT
#70
Many wise words already have been said. I wish you good luck! And indeed - you're not alone
Furthermore, I consider that some kind of Code A must be reestablished.
orvinreyes
Profile Joined June 2007
577 Posts
March 16 2018 05:49 GMT
#71
2 pieces of advice:

1. Don't compare yourself to others, but do learn from others
2. Don't regret decisions you've made in the past, and don't do anything you might regret in the future

We'd all love to hear your success story in the future. Keep working hard and smart.
http://youtu.be/LfmrHTdXgK4
Hinosc
Profile Joined February 2016
France2 Posts
March 16 2018 23:12 GMT
#72
Hey rain ! dont give up

But I wanted to know, why did you stop starcraft ? even if you couldnt be the best, you could had made good money with it, like TRUE who moved to USA, or even in korea, there is a lot of stuff to make money with starcraft, ur only 24, I bet if you go back to starcraft you can still rock it and make money from it.
don_kyuhote
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
3006 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-03-24 19:02:20
March 17 2018 08:36 GMT
#73
Hey man, 24 is still not that old. I go to Purdue, and I just turned 28, and I'm not even the oldest, and I know many Koreans here who are 25 ~ 27, though they already did their military service.
There are more people than you realize who are finishing their undergrad in their late 20s for various reasons.

At least you have a very legitimate reason that you started college late; you were a progamer, someone who was at the top of his field, something 99.9% of people cannot say.
I don't have that privilege. I just dicked around when I was young, playing games instead of studying and had to be dropped for years before I came back.
I too had those moments where I wondered if my major is right for me. I think everyone will go through that, so don't worry too much.
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
CaptainBurnTurn
Profile Joined February 2018
United States80 Posts
March 18 2018 00:59 GMT
#74

Mark my words, sOs will win a GSL one day
Mahanaim
Profile Joined December 2012
Korea (South)1002 Posts
March 18 2018 06:04 GMT
#75
Thank you for the very thoughtful and honest post, Rain. I definitely remember you. Who wouldn't if they watched sc2 from the days of Wings? I truly wish you the best, and hopefully we can all remember this hard time together with a bittersweet memory!
Celebrating Starcraft since... a long time ago.
VioleTAK
Profile Joined July 2006
4339 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-03-18 10:03:46
March 18 2018 10:00 GMT
#76
Hey Rain.

I truly understand your situation, as I was there for a few years myself.
I was born in Israel, where I lived in most of my life, until recently.
In Israel the army service is also mendatory (for men and women) 3 years minimum.

I was different than most other people who just watned to luve a 'normal' life which meant: do the army until 21, then go to university, get a job, get married, have kids.

I left the army not wanting to start studying, instead I went travelling all over the world, working in temporary jobs for years and years, until I found myself 29 years old without any formal education, not knowing how to proceed, feeling very lost.

Making a long story short, I started a deep search of what I'm actually passionate about, as well as what are my gifts and talents, what can I truly do well, and how much can it be a part of my professional life. This was a long inner search of a few years with a lot of trial and error on the outside world.

I am now 35 , very happy, living with my girlfriend in south america, working very successfuly without any formal education, and I get a lot of business because pepole see and recognize my skills and passion with what I do.

The reason I'm telling you this, is to afirm to you that it's not too late in any way shape or form. You can start or re-start at any given moment, any age. Start a clean page. Forget about the age of others around you - many of them are not even living their own lives yet (just going through the motions and/or living their parents desires rather than their own), where they are or how old they are is of no imporance to you in your own journey.

I know so many people who re-start at age 3X, 4X and even 5X, letting go of old professions and starting a new one because they realized that what they've been doing until that point was not what their heart's desire.

Focus on finding your own path. You will find the way!
Every fan of Starcraft is a fan of Lim Yo Hwan by association
IArako
Profile Joined June 2015
Germany195 Posts
March 18 2018 11:46 GMT
#77
I wasnt prepared to find so much life advice after randomly clicking on this, i follow Sc2 since 2012 so i didnt know about Rain, but i just now did a quick history check what i missed from early sc2
Im 22 so not quite in the same spot but i currently feel similar about my life, i hope it will work out for all of us.
Good luck Rain
Special Tactics
RHCPgergo
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Hungary345 Posts
March 18 2018 21:47 GMT
#78
Good luck Rain! I too know that feeling, it can really weigh on you. "Will I ever have a true calling? Is this really the right thing to do?" For now, just go with something, that's the best you can do. Keep on rolling! Be open to any chances you get. It's good to think about these things but don't let it get you down too much. : )
Gorgonoth
Profile Joined August 2017
United States468 Posts
March 19 2018 20:57 GMT
#79
You go get em rain
W2
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States1177 Posts
March 20 2018 16:15 GMT
#80
You have our support!! I wish you the best.
Hi
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