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Decisions Monologue

Blogs > Ty2
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Ty2
Profile Blog Joined March 2013
United States1434 Posts
October 19 2016 01:09 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

*****
Writer
YokoKano
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
United States612 Posts
October 19 2016 04:59 GMT
#2
The virtual world is pretty brutal. People's minds are there but their bodies are not. Sometimes I think that the body is an interface for the mind that is pretty underused. I think you could study endlessly without improving your mind extremely. On the other hand physical activity is pretty good for the mind if focused.

As far as the absolute worst mind-body interface, videogames are at least potentially pretty close. In real life if you're worried about something and you're not in a psychotic state, the tolerance level is pretty low. So for instance if you're having some psychic difficulty in real life the problem will reflect in your body language and speech pretty accurately. Thus at least in sober conversation you'll typically elicit something from other people. In short the collective interaction will almost always help you.

Videogames are the opposite. There is really no input regarding what you're thinking, and so you mostly read outputs. If you're depressed, anxious, angry, frightened, or what have you, then the videogame environment will almost always exacerbate that state. In a way online gaming is a sort of collective psychosis, even if your opponents or allies are sympathetic to your problems. And of course not everyone is 100% sympathetic all the time.

Actually I am a meditator, and I think meditation is almost always good. Meditation more than yoga or karate or other physical activities is essentially a physical-only activity. Personally I think that's why it works so incredibly well. You never really see a house cat feel sorry for itself (as this humorous video depicts). Humans are apparently pretty joyous creatures in the wild... Anyway the practice of meditation is excellent because it isolates the human animal, the body and the mind rather than the brain and its thoughts. I don't know that all the associated dogma and conversation is 100% accessible, but meditation itself works quite well. In my experience if you really are feeling out of luck, meditation is the place to turn. It takes some effort to get started and may feel more like training for a race so most people are inclined not to really get to the plateau where the thing works effortlessly.

Anyway this is just my two-cents on why physical activities seem cathartic (outside the competitive setting). And endorsing getting away from troublesome thoughts which rarely present elegant solutions to what might be "simple" problems.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=i never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself&view=detail&mid=5EDCB707693DB8013FFC5EDCB707693DB8013FFC&FORM=VIRE

Meditation does take some effort to get into.
IQ 155.905638752
Psyonic_Reaver
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States4337 Posts
October 19 2016 05:25 GMT
#3
I've slowly begun losing my passion for gaming as well. I spend plenty of time with my family, work, kids, wife but when I do have moments to myself, I boot up the computer out of habit and just... sit. Nothing is fun, it's all the same over and over and over. I've been trying to get into more RPG games and just lose myself in the GAME and not the min/max aspect of it.

Elder Scrolls has been a blast finally when I just don't care about stats and just focus on the gameplay/lore. I'm looking forward to Tyranny as well.

Goodbye Competitive PsyReaver.
So wait? I'm bad? =(
DarkNetHunter
Profile Joined October 2012
1224 Posts
October 20 2016 11:38 GMT
#4
Hey Ty2,

I read your post and I've gathered some thoughts you might want to consider. It's a bit of a read, but I hope it helps.

Finishing high school is a big step and I can guarantee that while things tend to get harder (socially, financially) from there on out, it's also a very liberating experience. I felt my life was completely drained by the time I finished high school, so I feel it's only natural for you to feel weary and sleepy when you're in that last stretch.
I can also allay your fears about white hairs, a classmate of mine in high school already had a bunch, but he's still got the same number and not more as then. Likewise I once discovered one when I was 21 and was worried, it hasn't reappeared though.


You're definitely right that it's tough to continue when you're not passionate about anything society at large places value on.
Your first step out of this is saying fuck society and finding out what you're passionate about. Once you've established that you can work on finding out how you can make it compatible with whatever connection you personally need to society at large.

SC addiction is real and I assume the majority of people who frequent the BW forums experienced it at one point or another in their life.
What you need to realize is what impacts it makes and how to enjoy it without having to feel guilty about it.
So do this by changing it from an addiction to a hobby, meaning you need to give more priority to aspects of your life that will determine your personal growth and societal value.

Do things! Get a job. Having a job will put money in your pocket, remove some of your guilt, and no matter what job it always teaches you something. A good job will teach you what you like, a mediocre one might teach you some skills and people interaction, a bad job will remind you why you need to study hard to not get stuck in this kind of crap.
Job not an option? Do an internship or apprenticeship or some other kind of experience that exposes you to something you haven't done. Volunteer, if nothing else is available for you in person. Complete a course on Coursera, see how you like something new there! How are you supposed to find out what you like if you never try things?

Exercise! Preferably do a sport you enjoy, if you don't like any sports, then work out. If you don't want to go to a gym / can't afford it, then do home work outs (see a book called You Are Your Own Gym for example). Spend at least 30 minutes a day exercising intensely, you'll feel better about yourself physically and mentally and it will help balance out your sedentary lifestyle from playing BW.

Travel! Another reason to get a job is being able to afford to travel. Traveling will expose you to more people, cultures and opportunities. You love starcraft, so why not save the money so you can travel to South Korea, the home of the legends and a place completely foreign to yourself!

Don't worry about being the no do gooder, sometimes you have to drift away from people and get truly and utterly lost in order to find yourself.

Not sure where to start? Listen to this https://play.spotify.com/track/6rCSEjlmCXSOhpBY3JQIiK (Dub FX - So Are You)
Then do one of things mentioned above.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
AnythingThenDelete
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
381 Posts
October 20 2016 12:09 GMT
#5
The attention span thing.
I had it too lately I can't explain it.
Long and short term.
Long term, I spent 2 months on reddit/watching shows, then 1 week on one website, 1 week writing, 2 weeks poetry and now nothing again.
Short term, I have all the tabs open as well, I find myseld pausing song and video, even 3 minutes one, it's insane.

Don't know if you care, you're not alone, sometimes it helps me realizing that, hope it can helps you too, just a little.
Shalashaska_123
Profile Blog Joined July 2013
United States142 Posts
October 22 2016 06:46 GMT
#6
Hello, Ty2.

I don't know why you keep saying you don't know what to do with your life when you keep saying that all you want to do is play BW. If you're so passionate about this game, why not become a progamer and stream on Afreeca for money? You've invested quite a bit of time already to become good at this game, so it would be kind of a waste to throw it away and start trying to learn math and the sciences, especially when you feel miserable doing this. If you don't have a wife and kids to support, then you don't need to spend years of your life studying for something you don't care about to earn money you don't really need. Do what makes you happy and don't worry about living up to society's ridiculously high expectations. If you have double-digit viewership from only streaming a few times, then that's a great start. Keep at it.

Shalashaska_123
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