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hymn
Bulgaria832 Posts
So from my point of view, you don't have a dilemma and it's crystal clear - take care of your child whenever you are with her, study for your exams and keep your job. Also, let go of that crazy chick, she seems just an anchor dragging you down. What future do you have with her? If the answer is "No future at all!" you just have to tell her and live on. That's my two cents. | ||
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Riquiz
Netherlands402 Posts
We are now poor as fuck and my life could not be worse (speaking as one of the kids). Keep on going son  | ||
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MarlieChurphy
United States2063 Posts
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Superbanana
2369 Posts
Just make sure to not be a douche. | ||
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boxerfred
Germany8360 Posts
On November 11 2014 20:45 hymn wrote: Well, I have a daughter too, 5 year old. Since she was born I've never had a drop of doubt about what's important in my life. It's this child's happiness. Her mom, me, all the other people, my dad, my mom, my brother - we all come second to my daughter's health and happiness. So from my point of view, you don't have a dilemma and it's crystal clear - take care of your child whenever you are with her, study for your exams and keep your job. Also, let go of that crazy chick, she seems just an anchor dragging you down. What future do you have with her? If the answer is "No future at all!" you just have to tell her and live on. That's my two cents. I'm gonna go with this. This is straight up. I guess I'll man up! On November 11 2014 23:53 MarlieChurphy wrote: How did you get a network software job with no papers? I simplified. It's an apprenticeship (german model of learning a job). | ||
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meadbert
United States681 Posts
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hymn
Bulgaria832 Posts
On November 12 2014 05:52 meadbert wrote: Regarding the borderline girlfriend: "Exit Gracefully" That's also some sound advice. Wouldn't work for me though. When I am done with people I just go and tell them I don't want to see them anymore and that's it, I don't explain myself further. I know I've severed some probably important connections this way but I am at peace with myself this way. | ||
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boxerfred
Germany8360 Posts
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Artanis[Xp]
Netherlands12970 Posts
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boxerfred
Germany8360 Posts
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virpi
Germany3599 Posts
1. As others have already stated, your child's happiness should be the most important thing for you. No matter what you do and who's on your side, always ask yourself if it's good for the child. Of course, you should not overprotect your little girl from stuff you do in your life, but kids surely realize if something is wrong in their parents' life. I've had a pretty fucked up childhood due to my dad having severe problems with gambling addiction and alcohol. Luckily, he fixed it, but the damage was done. The main reason I'm telling you this is because everything might not have turned out that complicated if he hadn't hidden parts of his life from me, my brothers and my mother. So whatever you do: Be honest to yourself and the people close to you. Lying never helps. 2. A friend of mine dated a borderline girl once, they were together for about 3 years. She was always very quiet and "invisible" when she was around, but as far as I know, she had quite the influence on my friend's life. Every human being is different, but I think you did the right thing by ending the relationship with that girl of yours. My friend also chose to stop dating his girlfriend, because she had tried to get pregnant without his agreement. (After he had left her, she even tried to "fake" pregnancy...he went through some weeks of serious mindfuck.) There's no reason for you to feel responsible for her, if you don't want your life to be affected by her personality. This might sound harsh, but YOU are the one who's in charge of most decisions in your life. Of course, she will feel pretty terrible right now, and I really hope that she won't do anything stupid like my friend's ex. But you did the right thing. 3. Regarding the anxiety issues: Your explanation of your fears sounded quite familiar to me. I also had to deal with similar problems between 18 and 24. After that, I slowly managed to get a firm grip on my life by forcing myself to choose and act. Start out with small projects, don't try something that's overwhelmingly huge, because the danger of getting scared of failure increases with the amount of effort and time you've put in. The only important thing is to complete whatever you're doing. SC2 example: If you're getting scared of losing while being on a long win streak, open up notepad and write down a number which is equal to about 40% of the games you totally play per season. This number is the number of "allowed losses". As long as you're below that number, losing is okay. If the number of losses surpasses the threshold, take a break from playing. Once you return, increase the number. GL to you. Win life! | ||
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