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Help me get drunk!

Blogs > SoSexy
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SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
June 06 2014 17:22 GMT
#1
Sup Teamliquid, SoSexy here. Today I am asking for tips concerning drunkess. My problem is that I get wrecked during weekends and my body is now used to alcohol: last friday I drank a bottle of wine, some shots and some cocktails but I was nowhere near where I wanted to be. This is a problem because money are disappearing as fast as I do when a girl tells me 'I want a serious relationship with you.'

Do you know 'tricks' to cheat my body? I do not really know...maybe drinking super fast? I need help because I am going out in 3 hours for my birthday party (actually, I will also go out on Saturday)

NO rum and whisky, please. I hate them.

*
Dating thread on TL LUL
Chill
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Calgary25990 Posts
June 06 2014 17:32 GMT
#2
Lol worst blog ever.
Moderator
Yrr
Profile Joined June 2012
Germany804 Posts
June 06 2014 17:33 GMT
#3
Don't drink for a few months and it will go faster afterwards.
MMR decay is bad, m'kay? | Personal Hero: TerranHwaiting
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18843 Posts
June 06 2014 17:37 GMT
#4
Stop being an alcoholic and then you will have an easier time getting drunk.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
AlternativeEgo
Profile Joined August 2011
Sweden17309 Posts
June 06 2014 17:38 GMT
#5
Skip the wine and the "some". Nothing gets properly done with "some". It's like you're not even trying.
Mark Munoz looks like Gretorp
Zealously
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
East Gorteau22261 Posts
June 06 2014 17:45 GMT
#6
Inject directly into circulatory system

I take no responsibility for the effects of this method
AdministratorBreak the chains
TheFish7
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States2824 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-06 17:51:01
June 06 2014 17:50 GMT
#7
Yea just funnel some ice beers up your butt

+ Show Spoiler +
Note: Do not do this
~ ~ <°)))><~ ~ ~
Olli
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Austria24422 Posts
June 06 2014 17:54 GMT
#8
The solution is to not hate whiskey
Administrator"Declaring anything a disaster because aLive popped up out of nowhere is just downright silly."
followZeRoX
Profile Joined March 2011
Serbia1451 Posts
June 06 2014 17:58 GMT
#9
Skip wine, its for women.
urboss
Profile Joined September 2013
Austria1223 Posts
June 06 2014 17:58 GMT
#10
- Wine after beer and you'll feel queer.

- Drink everything with a straw

- Anything you touch should be an automatic "bottoms up".

- Draw cards: The one who doesn't draw a heart has to drink

- For canned beer: Always shotgun!
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
June 06 2014 18:01 GMT
#11
On June 07 2014 02:58 urboss wrote:
- Wine after beer and you'll feel queer.

- Drink everything with a straw

- Anything you touch should be an automatic "bottoms up".

- Draw cards: The one who doesn't draw a heart has to drink

- For canned beer: Always shotgun!


Good tips! But...why the straw o.o ?
Dating thread on TL LUL
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45175 Posts
June 06 2014 18:02 GMT
#12
Your liver told me to one-star this blog.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
urboss
Profile Joined September 2013
Austria1223 Posts
June 06 2014 18:11 GMT
#13
On June 07 2014 03:01 SoSexy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 07 2014 02:58 urboss wrote:
- Wine after beer and you'll feel queer.

- Drink everything with a straw

- Anything you touch should be an automatic "bottoms up".

- Draw cards: The one who doesn't draw a heart has to drink

- For canned beer: Always shotgun!


Good tips! But...why the straw o.o ?

drinking with a straw will get you drunk faster
that is how the saying goes, can't confirm if it's true
but the only important thing is that you think it will get you drunk faster
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
June 06 2014 18:16 GMT
#14
just dont drink cheap shit
IAmWithStupid
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Russian Federation1016 Posts
June 06 2014 18:20 GMT
#15
In Russia we say vodka without beer is money to burn!
Insert wise words here
y0su
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Finland7871 Posts
June 06 2014 18:24 GMT
#16
start with an empty stomach
Sigh
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada2433 Posts
June 06 2014 18:29 GMT
#17
You could use a suppository.
+ Show Spoiler +
jk please don't
NaDa/Flash/Thorzain Fan
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6191 Posts
June 06 2014 18:34 GMT
#18
Apparently it is possible to get drunk by taking a shot of Vodka through your eye or something. I don't recommend it.
Also, if you take a break from drinking, start working out a lot and get fit your alcohol tolerance will drop. Couple that with not eating before you go out....
Anyway, I don;t even drink really, so not sure why I know all this stuff. Have fun and happy birthday and stuff.
<3
Stutters695
Profile Joined July 2012
2610 Posts
June 06 2014 18:35 GMT
#19
On June 07 2014 03:01 SoSexy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 07 2014 02:58 urboss wrote:
- Wine after beer and you'll feel queer.

- Drink everything with a straw

- Anything you touch should be an automatic "bottoms up".

- Draw cards: The one who doesn't draw a heart has to drink

- For canned beer: Always shotgun!


Good tips! But...why the straw o.o ?


You taste less when you drink through a straw. So it doesn't get you more drunk on its own, but because you taste the liquor less you tend to drink more of it quicker (or allows you to make stronger drinks).
Olli
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
Austria24422 Posts
June 06 2014 18:38 GMT
#20
Wait I need to quote something

Wine is fine but Whiskey's quicker
Administrator"Declaring anything a disaster because aLive popped up out of nowhere is just downright silly."
Waxangel
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
United States33503 Posts
June 06 2014 19:43 GMT
#21
donate blood

you might help save a life, and you'll get drunk for cheap for one night
AdministratorHey HP can you redo everything youve ever done because i have a small complaint?
Sikian
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Spain177 Posts
June 06 2014 19:52 GMT
#22
On June 07 2014 04:43 Waxangel wrote:
donate blood

you might help save a life, and you'll get drunk for cheap for one night


This is a pro tip
Helping Starbow :: a.k.a. SoaH
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
June 06 2014 19:55 GMT
#23
I heard if you ingest enough semen, you'll get super-drunk, you should try it.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Ctone23
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United States1839 Posts
June 06 2014 20:10 GMT
#24
Watch Homestory Cup and follow the drinking rules.
TL+ Member
MtlGuitarist97
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1539 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-06 23:10:21
June 06 2014 20:25 GMT
#25
Distill gasoline and turn it into ethanol. Dissolve the ethanol in water.

+ Show Spoiler +
don't do this+ Show Spoiler +
jk, do it
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
June 06 2014 21:55 GMT
#26
On June 07 2014 05:25 MtlGuitarist97 wrote:
Distill gasoline and turn it into ethanol. Dissolve the ethanol in water.

Where is the spoiler that says don't do this? Spoilers save lives.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Darkhorse
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
United States23455 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-06 22:32:00
June 06 2014 22:31 GMT
#27
You ask me how to get drunk and then you handicap me by saying no rum or whiskey? wtf man.

Drink long island iced teas (order them "extra long" for best results). That's a pro tip you can have for free. There's rum in it but you won't taste it around all the other alcohol. Other than that just take shots of low quality vodka/tequila to save on money, although you won't enjoy the taste.

Actually best advice is take a break from drinking for a bit until you don't have to drink a couple gallons to get drunk. At that point your body just has to piss a bunch and you don't get to enjoy the night.
WriterRecently Necro'd (?)
Zocat
Profile Joined April 2010
Germany2229 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-06 22:48:27
June 06 2014 22:47 GMT
#28
Stroh Rum (it has high enough alcohol to ignore it's taste, mix it with whatever). Korn. Ouzo.
Honestly just go into a fucking store and buy hard liquor if you want to get drunk.

About drinking with a straw:
Alcohol will already be absorbed in your mouth (over the mucosa (sic?)). So the theory with straw drinking is that you will drink slower and thus more of it will be absorbed that way. This is faster than over your stomach.
The overall level of drunkenness should not change, but you should get drunk faster (I haven't tested it, but it's what people mention here).

That said, I agree with most others: Don't drink for a decent amount of time (1 month should be enough to show some effects) so you will get drunk with less alcohol.

Also: Heavily drunk people are annoying.
sob3k
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States7572 Posts
June 07 2014 00:56 GMT
#29
drinking on completely empty stomach has a huge effect

but srsly you should just take a break
In Hungry Hungry Hippos there are no such constraints—one can constantly attempt to collect marbles with one’s hippo, limited only by one’s hippo-levering capabilities.
ProxyKite
Profile Joined July 2011
United States40 Posts
June 07 2014 01:18 GMT
#30
I once sneezed while drinking and it went up my nose. That might get you more drunk.
+ Show Spoiler +
Keyword: might
Snorkels
Profile Joined May 2011
United States1015 Posts
June 07 2014 01:25 GMT
#31
On June 07 2014 07:47 Zocat wrote:
Alcohol will already be absorbed in your mouth (over the mucosa (sic?)). So the theory with straw drinking is that you will drink slower and thus more of it will be absorbed that way. This is faster than over your stomach.

Gargle shitty vodka for 30 seconds then drink it. + Show Spoiler +
jk, with high tolerance try a minute
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
June 07 2014 02:16 GMT
#32
Get girls to leave your drinks unattended and you'll get drunk WAY faster.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
June 07 2014 02:35 GMT
#33
Step up your game and replace shots with Everclear
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
Epishade
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
United States2267 Posts
June 07 2014 03:45 GMT
#34
Throw up before you drink so you'll be drinking on an empty stomach.

I see someone else already suggested injecting directly into your bloodstream. That was my first thought as well.

I've heard only good things about vodka tampons, perhaps you should try that as well?
Pinhead Larry in the streets, Dirty Dan in the sheets.
PassionFruit
Profile Blog Joined April 2012
294 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-06-07 04:04:29
June 07 2014 04:04 GMT
#35
Get Johnnie Walker Black.
Open.
Shove it up your butt (+ if you're homo).
Do a handstand until it all drains (+ if you're into body calisthenics).

Warning: You will die if you do this. But you will be drunk very quickly for a very short amount of time.

NewSunshine
Profile Joined July 2011
United States5938 Posts
June 07 2014 04:46 GMT
#36
On June 07 2014 03:34 dravernor wrote:
Apparently it is possible to get drunk by taking a shot of Vodka through your eye or something. I don't recommend it.

Let me recommend it then.
"If you find yourself feeling lost, take pride in the accuracy of your feelings." - Night Vale
urboss
Profile Joined September 2013
Austria1223 Posts
June 07 2014 05:19 GMT
#37
The skin can also absorb alcohol.
--> Drink Schnapps inside a Vodka Bathtub
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
June 07 2014 09:37 GMT
#38
I did well, guys. Drank some cheap vodka that tasted like wheat, was drunk but not annoying and I got the number of a girl from Colombia.

Tonight, round 2! Seaside clubs for the official party!
Dating thread on TL LUL
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