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Active: 1245 users

[Girl Blog] It is funny who you fall for

Blogs > HeeroFX
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1 2 Next All
HeeroFX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2704 Posts
July 28 2013 05:49 GMT
#1
I don't know why I am writing about this, maybe to get it out of the system. Maybe you lovely folks on TL have been in a similar situation. So basically this girl and I have been talking for about 2 years now, just friendly talking. But for about the last 2 months we started to talk way more, like all day texting, facebook, on the phone (she lives in my home town, but I don't live there anymore due to college but not a big deal to drive to visit only 2 hours.) She is also my best friends sister, although she is more of a best friend status now adays since he and I don't talk much anymore. So after really getting to know her, I decided you know what what the hell I am gonna tell her I like her, I feel like we have this great connection lots of things in common, and she makes me smile like crazy. When I told her the response was rather confusing.....summing up to her saying " i see, well i'm flattered." I had to try to break that friend zone because I really do care for her. I than told her "hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple." Maybe I messed it up I don't know, but I love her, and care about her so much...and I really don't know what to do or think, but I guess better to take a shot haha. Anyway if you guys/gals have any advice on a similar situations or a pep talk lol or even just reading it thank you for your time.




I also gave her this song to covey my feelings too who knows why .


**
Hryul
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Austria2609 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 07:17:33
July 28 2013 07:02 GMT
#2
I than told her "hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple."


I don't like this and would never do that. Either you are determined and really want her. Then everything but total succes is ruled out. Or you are just another maybe. I don't see you breaking the friend zone this way. Sorry pal.

E: Think the other way round: would you like to be with someone who would also be ok being just friends? What kind of relationship would that be?
Countdown to victory: 1 200!
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 08:32:41
July 28 2013 08:30 GMT
#3
This is why we can`t have nice things. There are probably only two things that are difficult for beautiful girls. One of it is finding friends, because other girls identify you as a threat and all the boys just wanna get in your pants sooner or later. She probably thought you were gay or something and now, instead of someone to be friends with, you made everything awkward.

"hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple." - not creepy at all, I am glad she does not live too close to you -.-

Here is how I wish creeps like you would handle those situation:"Hey, I am really falling for you, and if you don`t feel the same we should stop seeing/talking to each other, because it will just hurt too much.".
Stratos
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Czech Republic6104 Posts
July 28 2013 08:42 GMT
#4
On July 28 2013 17:30 HaRuHi wrote:
Here is how I wish creeps like you would handle those situation:"Hey, I am really falling for you, and if you don`t feel the same we should stop seeing/talking to each other, because it will just hurt too much.".

send via fb chat with an attached pic of your wrist
En Taro Violet
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
July 28 2013 09:01 GMT
#5
On July 28 2013 17:42 Stratos wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 28 2013 17:30 HaRuHi wrote:
Here is how I wish creeps like you would handle those situation:"Hey, I am really falling for you, and if you don`t feel the same we should stop seeing/talking to each other, because it will just hurt too much.".

send via fb chat with an attached pic of your wrist

Well, the idea behind this was a clear cut, not that kind of cut though^^. Lol
isleyofthenorth
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Austria894 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 12:16:50
July 28 2013 12:16 GMT
#6
On July 28 2013 17:30 HaRuHi wrote:
This is why we can`t have nice things. There are probably only two things that are difficult for beautiful girls. One of it is finding friends, because other girls identify you as a threat and all the boys just wanna get in your pants sooner or later. She probably thought you were gay or something and now, instead of someone to be friends with, you made everything awkward.

"hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple." - not creepy at all, I am glad she does not live too close to you -.-

Here is how I wish creeps like you would handle those situation:"Hey, I am really falling for you, and if you don`t feel the same we should stop seeing/talking to each other, because it will just hurt too much.".


yeah maybe if everyone you hang around with is a 18 yo old kid....
Overpowered
Profile Joined January 2011
Czech Republic764 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 12:45:32
July 28 2013 12:44 GMT
#7
Sorry mate, but this ain't gonna work out. If you want a girl, you have to show her you like her, not tell her. Touch her, flirt with her, invite her to hang out more often. And analyze her reactions - that means, if she doesn't reciprocate, back off; you can't make her like you. 'Confessions' never work out.

Source: I learned the hard way.
Just another gold Protoss...
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
July 28 2013 12:55 GMT
#8
You can just stay friends, she won't be mad or anything just because you like her. As long as you can be just friends, and not abuse the friendship to sneak in another shot at getting together it will work
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
July 28 2013 13:08 GMT
#9
This middle ground you are trying to feign is a terrible idea dude.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Xenocide_Knight
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Korea (South)2625 Posts
July 28 2013 13:16 GMT
#10
While your tactic may not have been the most effective strategy and not at all something I would recommend, I enjoyed reading your blog. Even if you don't get the girl, it was cute and it seems like you only had good intentions.
+ Show Spoiler +

Your "hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple." line did make me cringe though haha.
Shine[Kal] #1 fan
HeeroFX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2704 Posts
July 28 2013 15:17 GMT
#11
Haha, I totally did regret that line after saying it lol. God I am terrible with women, because I always like choke up when I try to express how I feel.
Japhybaby
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
Canada301 Posts
July 28 2013 15:27 GMT
#12
Haha I did this too. follow yo dreams and watch them crumble in yo face
hold on! i'm callin' you back to the pool, and we'll dazzle them all!
Arcanefrost
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium1257 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 15:31:58
July 28 2013 15:31 GMT
#13
Also for next time: It's easier to just ask them out instead of confessing your feelings, you will still be able to tell whether she likes you or not and it won't be such an all-in move
Valor is a poor substitute for numbers.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32097 Posts
July 28 2013 16:56 GMT
#14
well pretty much every single thing you did here was retarded. but on the plus side, now it's in a blog that you can look back on in a few years and laugh about!!
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Ushio
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada868 Posts
July 28 2013 18:12 GMT
#15
That was pretty cringeworthy, you dun fucked up
http://myanimelist.net/profile/billng
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25557 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-28 18:47:52
July 28 2013 18:43 GMT
#16
Ok i'm gonna lay it out for you

you've been talking to this girl for years. you've been, by your own description, close friends for some time. and she doesn't want to date you. and you're like "dont worry i will always be there for you" as though that's something that's like reasonable to write instead of terrible and that's healthy rather than a waste of your time and that's good instead of bad

Imagine you had a female friend, one who you did not find attractive sexually and you are not interested in romantically, like at all. Maybe her personality would get along with yours terribly in a relationship. Maybe she's like clingy and needy and weird. Maybe she's just really ugly or has some weird values that weird you the heck out. You guys are fine as friends though. OK so after a while you are texting her a little more often then she texts you saying she has a crush on you or whatever. Now you have like zero interest in this girl, she's totally icky, but you don't want to like shatter her world so you let her down easy and then she says

"hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if we don't become a couple"

do you think

A) that is kinda sorta weird and you're glad she doesn't live nearby
B) that sentence has zero chance of convincing you to want her
C) it sounds desperate and desperation is rarely sexy
or
D) all of the above

ok so now we understand that situation, now imagine a situation where instead of some weird girl chasing after you it's you chasing after some girl, and you're the ugly girl and the girl is the dude who's like "wat" and you sent that text or said that thing how do you think she would respond, and do you think she'd ever want to date you if she said she doesnt' want to date you? ok maybe i've gotten off topic here let's see um

OK imagine you want to get this job and they give you an interview, and you and the interviewer get along well but then they inform you "sorry you didn't get the job" what do you do do you A) continue job hunt like a true man or B) call the company back and say "hey you know I am gonna be there for ya, even if I don't become your employee" yeah ok I think we know what's the better option here

alright maybe that didn't perfectly make sense, but the point is, go meet people and ask them out, don't cling to this girl like a barnacle. She doesn't want to date you. you have to accept that. Accept it and move on and look back on this and laugh someday when you're older and more mature. Barnacles don't accept things and move on, and you know who likes barnacles? well, I don't, but I'm betting it's mostly like marine biologists, not sexy girls (except sexy marine biologists) and even then they only like real barnacles, not metaphorical ones.

So the moral of the story: go try to meet new women. Go move on. Go date someone who actually wants to date you. Life is so full of people, and maybe you can find someone like this girl, but actually appreciates / loves you. Wouldn't that be better? There are many fish in the sea, and you seem like a smart guy, and there's so much you can do. Don't tie yourself down right now, and definitely don't do it to try to date someone who doesn't like you. There are billions of women out there. Go and experience things, and have fun. It's why we're here isn't it

When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
July 28 2013 19:00 GMT
#17
Ohhhh this made me cringe hard. Especially the part where you sent her that youtube link to "convey your feelings". Ha ha ha but like Qhawk said, you'll laugh at this soon enough, sounds like you already are actually.

Also what's going on with Bhand?
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
Abductedonut
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States324 Posts
July 28 2013 19:30 GMT
#18
On July 28 2013 21:55 Arcanefrost wrote:
You can just stay friends, she won't be mad or anything just because you like her. As long as you can be just friends, and not abuse the friendship to sneak in another shot at getting together it will work


This is god awful advice, don't ever listen to anybody who ever says you can be friends with a girl you like. That's only possible for men who are very experienced. Even then, those men know better.

Don't listen to this.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32097 Posts
July 28 2013 19:47 GMT
#19
shhhhhhhh we want a follow up blog goddamnit
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
MarlieChurphy
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
United States2063 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-29 10:11:13
July 29 2013 10:03 GMT
#20
This is the best example of how to fail at breaking friendzone. I'm going to go ahead and say, In the future, always do the opposite of what your first inclination tells you.


As for what you should do from here.
#1 stop contacting her, it will be hard but do it. Only respond to her. Some even recommend only responding after every 3rd time she attempts contact. This plays into the whole Freud fact about wanting stuff that's limited and not caring about stuff that is plentiful.
#2 If she eventually misses you or whatever and you do hang out, make an effort to flirt or talk to other women in her presence. She will immediately think that she is lacking something that they have to make you hit on them but only be friends with her all this time.
#3 Change something about yourself in the meantime. You need to be a different novel interesting person to her again.

These aren't 'playing games', this is just how psychology works. It's kind of lame but the ends justify the means in this case.


PS- If you stop contact with her and she doesn't make contact with you for like 10 days. Forget about her. She's not into you.
RIP SPOR 11/24/11 NEVAR FORGET
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