It's 4:43am here local time, and I'm back from da club after a night of solitary introspection.
To be very much honest, this wasn't supposed to be a girl blog at all; it was supposed to be another revelation blog where under the influence of alochol and such I would enlighten y'all on the meaning of life and whatnot.
But then, she happened.
No seriously, SHE happened.
It's my first time going out clubbing in the city here, and to be frank Ive grown quite out of the clubbing scene preferring to quietly drink on my own and whatnot. BUt tnoight, I just feel really shitty, for so many different reasons, and I decided to head out to da club.
There were 8 in my proximity withoin a 2KM radius; I gotta admit it's nice to live in China and especailly downtown. So I bounced from club to club, checking my iphone pretending to wait for ppl and pretending to text ppl so I don't appear tottally wierd and out of place for walking around and not ordering anything (Chinese ppl are shy as fuck even under the influence, they just sit and drink lololol and not dance or anything even though the music was fucking BUMPING HAWT [designer drugs and alvin risk remixes anyone?])? any fucking way, I settled down at this one club deciding to drink myself to my desired magnititude for the night, ordered 2 long island ice teas and a bottle of watter, which totallyed about $40 which is fuck espensive, but still meh.
Since I've been a bit down lately and just not thinking about relationships in general but rather focusing on "moving forward" or "getting ahead in the game of life" if you will, I didn't even really take a second look at the pretty bartender when I placed my ordeer. I ain't lyin cuz i jacked off b4 i went the to club, and all i really watned was to drink a bit and listen to some electroo house and forget about my worries.
But fuck, life happened. Girls happened. Angels descended upon me.
*************
I sat there waiting for my drink, already VERZy much drunk (had about 8 beers b4 I went), and yet I was again at that plateau where I felt perfectly lucid and completely at peace. I saw everything in slow-mo on the contrary, as opposed to getting really fucking stoned from the booze and feeling sleepy. I was fucking obersvant as shit; I saw people; My training in psychology and economics allowed me to fucking see human interactions broken down into such a basic level: I saw men trying to force drinks down chicks, and the chicks obliging and getting so fucking hammered they could barely walk. I felt sorry, I felt sorry for the inevitable and very much regretabble sex that was about to occur that borderlined on rape and fornication. I saw girls forcing dirnks down the throats of noob men at clubbing; consequently some wallets were lost that night yet it seems so fucking incredulous to me that nobody fucking noticed the act of theft excpect for me. I saw some fucked up shit, and it was bad, exposing the shit side of human nature, but at the same time I felt glad cuz it was such a great learning experience for me; my perspective, or horizon, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it, got broadened.
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ok fuck imreally wasted as shit, and i rmabled for quite a bit so here's the actually girl blog.
So I sat there waiting for my drinks and water (ima fucking pussy cuz i can never just let myself completely loose, I was afraid as fuck to get a headdche in the morning so i was aware enough to get water in my system even though i was fucking wasted as fuck), and it was a long wait cuz the club was about to closing it was around 3am, and the service personnel were all hammered as well and they couldn't find shit lol. So finally, this semi-sober girl that i intially placed my order with showed up after I lit up a nice cig, and gave me my long island ice teas and... wait for it, a fucking cup of ice cream. Yah, she was fucking wasted. Despite the loud music, I repaeted myself like 5 times to her stating "water' and "SHUI (water in chinese)" to her, SHOUTING in her eears, and I thought she fucking understood after she gave me a wink and thumbs up but nooooooooooo, she comes back like 30 min later with a fucking cup of ice cream.
I was still sober neough to realize that she got my order wrong, so I asked her again to get me some water and she pointed to the menu because the music was simply too fuck lound. I point to "BOTTLED DISTILLED WATER" on the menu (it was fucking 30 RMB, or 5 bucks what a fucking reip off), and she finally fucking understood. But she didn't tak e my money right away; she looked really apologitic and asked me to go near the hallway near the washrooms where the music was a little bit more bearable.. There, I begain my real conversation with her.
(I forget her name lol. only number she put down herself as "gorgeousest chick" in my phonebook, so let's call her Q cuz that's what her named started with in pinyin):
Convo went something liek:
Q: I'm really sorry I gott your order wrong, I thought u said ice cream LOL i'm really sorryu I can't even fathom how I got "ice cream" from "water" lol....
Me: Oh that's alright, it's ok, look here's another... i have 35 in chanage can you go get me another water? you can have the ice cream, it's on meee for a pretty lady. Can you can keep the change please hurry get my waterrsz?
Q: lol it's ok, don't worry, I'lll spend my own moineyz, I can't return the order for the cream so I'll take 30 out of my own pocket and treat you to a water cuz I feel bad.
Me: Really? wow that's really niceee of you, but really you don't have to do that. ]
[This was when I realized how fucking gorgeous she was, really cute yet provacative face, skinny legs, nice cups, sweet vocie, holy fucking shit)
Q: [takes a cig from my pack and lights it up] hey no really, it's on me, ice cream cheers!!!
[we knock our cups together and she eats a massive scoop.]
[fucking FEEDS me a spoonful holy shit then licks off the remains of whatever I didn't finisih and then laughs, she was visibility a bit tipsy]
[the good guy in me find the last bastion of soberness and probes myself questioning how drunk she was: i'm not gunna lie i wanted to bang the fucking poopie brains out of her right there back on the bar stool, but fuck afte rthat thought i asked myself just how drunk she was, and i reckoned that she was the right amount of drunk; not too much, not too little. Not too much that she completely lost controled wasn't herself, but enough that she let go of herr inhibitions and really was into me.]
[Not not gunna fucking BS here and might as well brag a bit but I';m pretty handsome so I guess it all made sense that she just liked me "from first sight" if you will]
{skip about 3 more minutes of drunken probing from both of us, where we talked about the most stupid and reatrded shit but it was awsome she laughed so much and so did i}
So then, I pretty much was set on getting her number, taking her out for a ride later in the week in my benz (it's a 180 but still, it's a fuckinb mecesdies), treating her to dinner playing piano for her DJing for her etc etc the whole works of what i did back in da clubinggin days, and fuck her little inoocent brains out.
But noooooo, then I had to find out about her previous profession. So like, after talking for like an hour after pretty much everyone else left the clubbb already and the stafff where cleaning up, and after numerous other handsome men asked to acommpany her home to her outright resfusal (and my guility pleasure) , she showed me some pictures on her iphone.
I just had to find out that she useed to be a kindergarten teahcer b4, that she's a REALLY nice person who did voluntteering work with disadvantgeded kids, that she was fucking 20 and innocent as fuck. She only worked at the clbubb for 3 weeks, and she's only doing it for the nice pay and she dioesn't really like it there. She feels guilty for for she does to make cash, which was a bit of a shock to me but I saw the true regret in her big fucking pretty eyes to believe that it wasn't what she really wnated.
No she's not a prostitue or anything, but she did tell me that she's basically using her looks to atttract customers aka single horny men who have absoultely zero chance with her, getting them to speend all their meager saliries at the club in return for pathetic hopeful acts of touching her arm while she lits up a cig for them, smelling her perfume, and basically othe r really fucking pathetic shit like that. ZShe gets a big commision, like 30% of raw sales of her customers (all regulars, holy fuck like 5 depressed and ugly and stupid men and pairs of men while i was there) totally to like over 14000 RMB or $2000USZD a month.
I was understanding the whole time and I fucking empathized with her inner conflict, and I can't even remember exactly what I told her but I basically inspired her and encourged her free from all nuances of sexaul advance games, and basically taught her some pretty basic concepts from psychology like the concept of nature vs. nurture and classical conditioning all in relation with examples to her life, and she was fucking enlightened i can tell you that especailly since she was doubting her "goodness" "character" "insert other synomtoms", and I reassured her when she needed it the most and told her that:
ME:" you care a good person, you just don't know it yet. The environment, the circumstances, "nurture" as driven you to do what you do, and sometimes, just sometimes, it's not the action that coounts, but the thought. The fact that you have so much regret and shame, that you are obviously good deep down, makes me respect you; lemme just say that not many girls in china are so pure such as yourself."
Q: " STARTS CRYiNG like a demonoid torrent on crack and sobs on my shoulder", thank you OMFG, that's exactly what I needed to hear and THANK YOU. Oh you know wat I'm still working, but FUCK IT thanks for the ice cream mango my favirite and tahnks for the longisnald ice team I don't give a fuck any more I quit. [To her boss, co-workers and customers giving them the finger]: FUCK y'all, I quit, peace out bitches FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
Me, " calm down, you're welcome, now lets get you the fuck outa here free from all these horny predators safely back home"
[lol at that moment I toatlly forgot that I was hypocrital of myself like an hour ago when testosterone fuckinug drove me to wanting to do nothing but bang her vaginaa dry and asshole bloddy and more fuck]
so like I was full of empathy from it all, from the convo with her from alcohol from whatever, and i got in a taxi with her. It was raining so much and she wanted to go back to my place, resfusing to tell me or the driver where she lived and i was like SO FUZCKING CONFLICTEDD. I KNEW that i had her, I could have fucked her in her nostrils and came in her lungs and she wouldn't have cared in the morning BUT I also felt so enlightened and good-nature with a massive sense of responbility choosing to believe in the goodness of mankind (that I would somehow SAVE her by not fucking her, by being her savlation of getting back to her studies and back to being a loving educator of kids by not fucking her by being her angel), that I insistied on getting her back home by asking for to tell the driver her adress and resisiting my urge to get her phone number [because I don't even trust myself when I get sober], pretty much determined to kiss her on the cheek, whisper something encouraging in her ears, then getting of the taxii into the rain then be proud at my own resolve.
BUT.
no.............
She refuses, and after the taxi driver got pissed off, I sorta lost my patience and sorta got pressued into tell him my address and brought her back to my apt.
So 2 hrs ago i played some chopin nocturne for her and she was just blown the FUCK outa her mind by my mastery at the piano (grade 10 then ARCT performers bitchesZ!!!!!!) , and she had like a few more shots of straight up whiskey [fuckkkk i gotta stop drinking so much that shit like half-full bottles of hard shit are just lying around] from my sofa straight outa the bottle lollll., then she fucking puked on my carpet.
I supposeddd it's actually my fault; this is something so disgusting but yesterday after I got hammered I passed out on the sofa, and after i wokse up, I was too hunogver to take a piss in the washoroom even though i really needed to so I pissed into a half-fulll bottle of vodka.
You see where this fucked up shit is going???!!!! She drank some whisky, shitty jack dainels cuz that's all i can find here, and then took some sips from my piss-infusedd vokda bottle. I didn't even reallize it when she drank that revolting shit cuz i was breaking it down with some rachamnivnoff improvisation, and only after she threw up did I realize that LOL WHHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the ZFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, she drank my piss LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
So after she threw up, I was and still am too fucked both phsycially and metnally to clean her regurgitation up, so I carried her to my washroom and she rinsed herself a bit before I carried her onto my bed and she promptedly passed the fuck out, but not before telling me, "You're the best person I've ever met, see you in the morning hubby."
What the fuck.............. I FCUKiing shit you not she said that, I fucking SHIT YOU NOT>
IJ garegJOJOIJOIJOIJOI HUIUIHIUHOIHIOHOIUUNJKNKJBJB#$%^&*&^%$#]]
Iike i'm typing all of this to the best of my memmory, with like only 10% of bragging and 90% of truth and introspection which is not very typical of me, but seriously I'm typing this all on my thinkpad and I'm just repeating "what the fuck' to myself over and over again.
I tried to go to sleep with her inmy arms before deciding to get u p and write all this , but lol i just felt so fucking asahmed at what a manipulatively overthinking and evil person I am, I felt unqaulity to "pollute her innocence" if you will, to sleep with her in my arms. Plus her breath smelled like fucking shit LOLO, i almost puked myself so i sorta had to get up.
So FUCKI:
TLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL: NERDDDDDDDDDD POWAAAAAAAA, what the FUCK DO I DO NOW? I'm so confused, I'm like 10% euphoria, 10% empahty, 20% fuckedup drunkenness, 50% empathy with a touch of introsepction right now. What the fuck should i DO right now?? what the fuck do i do in the morning? Do i go to sleep at all? What do I do with the fucking gorgeous (both phsycialy and mentallyy) girl that's fast assslep on my bed right now? Do i fuckiing ask her out in the morning? Do I fucking fuck her in the monring? Do i fucking become strictly non-sexual and deeply-bonding friends with her in the monring? What the fuck do I do now about my confusion, my smelling like shit/puke/alochol/smoke in my current state with no hot water cuz i forogot to turn the water heater on? What the fuckkkkkkkk do i do about the puke that's on my carpet that my dog is licking ew fucking grosss fuck that i'm tooo wasted to clean uP?
Most importantly, HELP WITH LYFES? Help me, give me advice, I'm at that point where it's fucked i'm fucked she's fuked phsycailly i'm fucked mentally i'm overstimulatedly fucked to conceive conherent thought fucked.
Tellllll me, what to do, NOW, 5 min from now, 1 hr from now, 3 hrs from now when I gotta be at work, ~5 hrs from now when she wakes ups, DUDE!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update:
On July 10 2013 01:08 EngrishTeacher wrote: Sorry for the long delay, I only find the urge to or heck, even remember to blog when I'm in an altered state of mind.
Anyway I'm listening to this SICK track, look it up on youtube or something, it's psytrance by infected mushroom called "atrix on mushrooms", so please give it a bit of time for the electronic euphoria to kick in. After all, my good friend Alex whom I've gotten so fucked up with so many times but did too much that 1 time (RIP Alex, I love you with all my heart), said to me, "electronic music is just pure electrical impulses of euphoria in its purest and cleanest form IV'ed, shot straight to the dopamine receptors to the brain".
Ok so fuck I tend to ramble a bit and get all introspective when I'm fucked up, so here's the actually girl blog, and no effort will be made from here onwards to keep my monstrously hideous drunken grammar and spelling in check.
Where did I leave off?
Oh right, sititing in my office, deciding what to do. I.... I was really hungover, and I guesss it was a combinattion of rwa sexual regret (why didn't i fuck her brain out), pride in my "character" or "self-control" if you will (if I have any, sigh...), or myabeit was just drunken introspection and innacence, but I cried at my desk after I last posted in this thread. I just... sigh, so many things are wrong with my life. To be fair, I guess I have it pretty nice, with a stabel relativvely high-pauing job, a wholesme faimly, and hobbies and interestss. But I've always wantde more from my life, to achieve "greaterr" things, and I felt down because well fuck, I know I could achieve SO much more if I just put in a tiny weensy bit emore effort into the productive tasks in life. Like fuckkk, I wish I could just divert 20% of my time and energy into productive tasks and not hendonstic indulgences and I could be so much more. Anyway, fuck, enough rambling.
So I was theresitting with a few teiars streaming down my face, thinking about life in generall gettingg all introspectve up in my shit, when I chugged about half a flask of bourbon that I had staszhed away hidden in my computer case, and felt alright again. I felt clear (fuck I'm going down the path of alcoholism, excessively damaging drinsking detetected... maybe I'll be ok when I go back to the U.S., where more than one euphoriant aka alcohol can be readily found and available), I felt good, I felt confident agian. Somehow, after sips of bourbon, I felt clear, I felt directed, I had a goal and I started to analyse what I needed to do.
I weighted my detest for relationships (I just broke up with my ex after she fucked a hairdresser behind my back 2 weeks ago), my urge for sex, and my liking of Clarice, and I realized I really did like this girl and it wouldn't be just a one time thin.g
It was around 10 and I decided to call her, but whenn i grabbed my phone there were liske 2 missed calls and a text saying, "where are you?!!! I'm locked in your apartmenet!" So lol, dumb me, forgott about these chinesee doorss where if I lock the door from the oustside ppl cantt get out from the insddie.
So I call her up, and the convo went somethign like thsi:
Me: Yo i'm sorry I locked you insside, yosu're not busy laater are you?
C: No iam gotod, dont have annything plannedd but I have my period, and I neeed ot change my pad and ovisly theree are none at your place haha:D
Me: Oh shit, my bad I'm really sorry, Iattm at the offcie already and I'll call in sick and be thereee in 30amin.
C: cool, I'm feeling pretty pretty shitt too totally hungover, I waaant some paratacmol or iboprufen. Btw, how long hav u keptt thta bottle of vodka? It tasted like shitt was it like a cocktaill or somethin?
Me: (to myself, OH shit LOL, um thinkkk fast) Ah yah, it was orange juicce mixed with vodkaa, but the orangge jucie prolly went bad imm sorry i diddnt warn u I was too busyy impressing you with some rachmaniovv improv on the piaano haha.
C: meh dont wry about it, I'll be fine it's not liek I keept in my systeem right ahah? I'm REALLY sorry about teh puke stain on ur carpet, ewwwww that must have beeen so grosss im so sorry. btw ur dog shit on the floor, i cleaned it up for u so dont be mad at me ok? that canceels out the puking deal?
Me; deal, you know what it's completely alrright, Im just glad ur okya, ill be back in 30 min im already walkking outa the buidling.
C: see you soon "shuai ge" ("handsome stud", yeeeaahhh moertherfuckas!)
So i grabbb a taxi and head home, and on the waayy I had some small talk withtt the driver who was like, ewww you reek of alcohol and puke, fun nigth last night? and i was liek, yeeeea nigga, it was good, stop talkinng to me cuz i wanna puke. And he shutt up like rightt away and rollled down the window for me LOL.
Anyway, I got home wihttout pukking and it wasn'tt untisl I walked inside when i realized i must smelll like abssolute shit so i hugged clarice reallly briefly and was too insecure to even paay too muchh attenttion to her as the onnly thingg on my mind was a shower. Clarice was sobered up but had a headache, so I got somee generic brand ibuprofen for her and she thanked me with a peck on my cheek, which was pretty nice it was unexpected and sent that jolt of butterflies down the the back of my head (i dontt get it in my sotomach, i get it on the bacck of my head).
So then I told her i really needed a shower, and she said thatt she did tooo cuz shee didn'tt knoww how to work my hot water, which seems like a lie to me just realizing it now cuz I already programmed the water heaterr and all she had to do was to turrn on the fucking tapp. So...
We got into the shower together. And MAN, maybe it was the alochol kickin in, but at that momentt when she stripped downn to step into the bathtub i got so fuckking instantly hard she just had such a nice rack (at leastt b+?) and skinnnny leggs and small but round butt (whichh reallly turns mee on idont like fat legs and bigg butts), and she was so fuckign pretty.
Me: Holy.l Fcuking. SHIT. You are absolutttley GORGEOUS u know that? u are fucking perfect.
C: ur not too shabby urself hehe, I reallly like ur hairr and ur nose is reallly prettty but ur eyes are so small lol, i guess ur big dickkk makess up for itt (she was just complementing me, My dick is only something like 5 inches 2 last time i measureed, but i guess my girth is prretty good).
Me: come here now.
**grabs her and we makee out forr like 15 minutess in the hott water, it was fuckkking amazing not gunna lie here almost rivalling my first kiss"
Not gunna go intto fruther details heree, but we shampooed each other down, there wass a LOT of touching and sucking, and we dried ourselves up. The shower expierence was truly fucking fantasticc, i didddnt even reallly mind the small amountss of bleeding.
Ok fast forwardd like 15 minutes after the foreplay. I spaat a bit on my dick for lubricating purporse even thoughh it was kinda unnecessary cuz she was wet as fuck, and rammmed my dick intoo her shit. and Oh MY GOD was it ever euphoric, it was so fuckkking good it almost fucking cured me of sex desensitivity (after u fuck someeone on X and experrience a fucking torrent of too much pleasure, sexx just isntt the same any more afterwards, X makes u so fucking empathetic and euphoric, perfect for sex but damn does it desenstize u during laterr sexuall experiencess).
Anyway, it was like 20 min into the act did that realize thattt I didntt have a condom on. So i was like, FUCK IT, too late now lets hope she's cleean. Maybe thatt was whyy it felt so goodd, I havent had sex witihhout a condom for over a year now. Then i was like, OH shit, what if i knock her up with penial secretionn that contains a bit of seamen , then again I actually lauggh out loud a bit cuz i tookk a look at my dick adn realize it was covereeed in fuckinng blood.
Well, first time for everrtyhing. There were 2 actually, firstt time havingg period sex, and first time cummming inside a girll. It was special, I know it's cheesy but it's true. That mommment when u stare into a girl'ss eyes and blow ur shit inside herr body, that feeling... it's indescribable.
Anyway, gunna keep this short I've gott this massive headdache so just gunna tell it like it is and keep it simple.
1. We fucked, it was amaazing, I made her came twice with orall sex and once b44 i blew my load. We lied theree for hourrs just talkking and reallyy getting to know eacch other, and it was bonding as fuck and what we found out about each otherr were all nice and likeable.
2. She left later thatt day (she stilll livess with her parents... meh), andd I gave her a really nicee platinum necklacce ( that i bogught for my ex, but we broke up b4 I had a chance to givee it to her), and wee just hugged each other soo much that day it wass amazing, never have gotten so mucch pleasure from hugging someeone in my life.
2. we started realy dating each other, and so far so goodg I fucking loveee everytthing about her. Dinner dates, movies, swimming, drives in the countryside, the whole works.
3. the sex is amazing. fucked her 3 times today, and yesterday we got so honry i fucked her insidde a washrrrom stall inside this really ghetto and dirty restuarant but we didn't care and itt was still fucking wonderlicious. l
4. Gunna treat her nice, gunna treat her right. I dunno, she's just REALLY innocent, mayb e i'm just dumb and cant see thru her, but even after over-analyzing and overthinking again and again my time with her I realizee that she's just really carefree and a nice personnn. Not to menttion shes hott, I say that even when I'm completely sobbered up I'd rate her at least a 8.5/10, I promisse to talk a picturee later off her she's just gorgeouss .
5. I got tested yesterday, and yayyy im clean shes cleannn the sex is CLEAN. Fuck yah she's in her safety period 4 more days until sheee ovulates so at least 2 more days of animalistic condomm free sex fuck yah
Anway, gunna end with this:
Who says clubs aren't good places to find nice grils?!!! I'm really glad I found my onee adn only.
Editt;
who says u can't find true love from one (or wasit two?) night stands?
If not, bang the living shit out of it, she seems HAWT and she seemed to want it from the get-go. If she's a lovely person you may well stay in contact, but sex regarding two people who want it, aint nothing to be ashamed of. Her job is completely different then her being attracted to you.
You need to make that choice, you seem to really like her, but you're drunk, perhaps she isnt this angel, perhaps she is.
Do you want a quick lay or do you want a shot at something bigger? Your choice.
She sounds really nice from you're blog, personally, i'd take the shot over a lay.
BUT "Hubby" - Red flag, alarm bells, gtfo, run away, never look back omg waddafak.
She's either 1) married and too drunk to realise she said that to some guy she's trying to cheat on him with. 2) A complete cling-on control freak psycho bitch motherfucker that should be locked up. or 3) Too wasted to know what she's saying. (The more likely)
Hell no. Don't tell her she drank your piss. That will wreck any chance of relationship you could possibly have with her. If you have to, tell her she drank your piss after you're married. That way she probably won't break up with you.
Lol. It seems like you get more drunk as you write through this.
Having never been in a situation like this before, my advice would be to sleep with her and keep treating her nice.
I was absolutely sure that SHE wasn't actually a 'she' after this line.
(Had to get this off my chest, going to read the rest now)
Edit: Just go have a good sleep, don't try to go on some strange moral high ground like you're doing in the rest of your post. She chose to get drunk, she chose to go to your houseand since you haven't taken 'advantage' of her, you have nothing to worry about. And the piss drinking? Keep it to yourself, why should you burden her with that information?
Oh, and wtf, don't talk her out of her job; let her earn her money... There's a word for people who don't like their job; everybody. We meet at the bar.
go the F to sleep. try and be up before her. 1. cook a fing awesome breakfast or go out and get some when she wakes up. 2. based on how she is acting in during the meal bring her back to your place and destroy her or kindly take her back to her place or pay for her cab ride home.
On July 04 2013 08:16 vanskater wrote: go the F to sleep. try and be up before her. 1. cook a fing awesome breakfast or go out and get some when she wakes up. 2. based on how she is acting in during the meal bring her back to your place and destroy her or kindly take her back to her place or pay for her cab ride home.
I like idea #1. Cooking her breakfast is a good move.
So I napped beside her for an hour or so (fighting with every ounce of my muscle and willpower not to untie her bra, god damn it gives me a fucking boner even now in my completely exhausted state just thinking about the image of her lying in my bed), she woke up (a little bit) and snuggled up to me, then I got up for cleanup duty and made her eggs and porridge.
Left her a note telling her to help herself to food and a shower at my place, then took a taxi to work; the water wasn't heated enough yet and I don't want to see her again until I refresh myself.
Now I'm sitting in the office, terribly hungover and wondering to myself if what I did was the best course of action for what I really wanted. Two variables here, and none possibly derivable to me right now.
I should probably give her a call. Or I could just wait for her to call me. Or maybe just take a sick day and go back to see her. Or just give in to my brain craving 12 hours of down time on a bed somewhere and deal with it all tonight.
I realize one thing now though, and that's I really like this girl.
Though to be honest you sound like a sociopath writing a drunken brag blog. You prefer to drink alone, you're apparently very handsome, drive your benz but complain about drink prices. Meanwhile you're a master of drinking 'hard shit', psychology and piano and piss in empty bottles because you can't walk 5 steps to the bathroom.
"I was fucking obersvant as shit; I saw people; My training in psychology and economics allowed me to fucking see human interactions broken down into such a basic level"
Talk about a god complex. None of your insights are remotely insightful. It reads like you see your isolation from people and disdain of them as a virtue when really you're just too uptight and introverted to actually enjoy yourself (like they are doing).
On July 04 2013 10:12 EngrishTeacher wrote: So I napped beside her for an hour or so (fighting with every ounce of my muscle and willpower not to untie her bra, god damn it gives me a fucking boner even now in my completely exhausted state just thinking about the image of her lying in my bed), she woke up (a little bit) and snuggled up to me, then I got up for cleanup duty and made her eggs and porridge.
Left her a note telling her to help herself to food and a shower at my place, then took a taxi to work; the water wasn't heated enough yet and I don't want to see her again until I refresh myself.
Now I'm sitting in the office, terribly hungover and wondering to myself if what I did was the best course of action for what I really wanted. Two variables here, and none possibly derivable to me right now.
I should probably give her a call. Or I could just wait for her to call me. Or maybe just take a sick day and go back to see her. Or just give in to my brain craving 12 hours of down time on a bed somewhere and deal with it all tonight.
I realize one thing now though, and that's I really like this girl.
Personally I would just got to sleep and work everything out in the morning when your both sober and have a clear state of mind. You seem to like her so why not ask her out? See if she is as cool as you are saying when your both sober and out together. Hard to tell how a person really is from a drunken night out.
On July 04 2013 10:12 EngrishTeacher wrote: So I napped beside her for an hour or so (fighting with every ounce of my muscle and willpower not to untie her bra, god damn it gives me a fucking boner even now in my completely exhausted state just thinking about the image of her lying in my bed), she woke up (a little bit) and snuggled up to me, then I got up for cleanup duty and made her eggs and porridge.
Left her a note telling her to help herself to food and a shower at my place, then took a taxi to work; the water wasn't heated enough yet and I don't want to see her again until I refresh myself.
Now I'm sitting in the office, terribly hungover and wondering to myself if what I did was the best course of action for what I really wanted. Two variables here, and none possibly derivable to me right now.
I should probably give her a call. Or I could just wait for her to call me. Or maybe just take a sick day and go back to see her. Or just give in to my brain craving 12 hours of down time on a bed somewhere and deal with it all tonight.
I realize one thing now though, and that's I really like this girl.
LOL #1 GIRLBLOG SIR
Get your brain straight and call her soonish for a "real" date or even better food at your place. gl hf enjoy~!
See her reaction in the morning and go on that. Wake her up with breakfast if you don't think it's creepy. Whatever you do, don't tell her about the vodka. EVER.
BEST BLOG EVER Thank you so much for sharing your fucked up evening lmao. Sounds awesome, but seriously....pics or it didn't happen...+ Show Spoiler +
Joke!
I think what you did won't be known yet whether it is good or bad. But you should stay friendly with her until you know, if she really is this good person and you free'd her from being a bartender who manipulates people with her looks to earn a good wage into someone that actually respects themselves, then GG fair play! But if you just cost her her job and wages to go earn little to nothing doing something else and she regrets it then DAMNNN SON you fucked up.
Who knows but 1. FOLLOW UP BLOG! and 2. GL at work lol
On July 04 2013 10:12 EngrishTeacher wrote: So I napped beside her for an hour or so (fighting with every ounce of my muscle and willpower not to untie her bra, god damn it gives me a fucking boner even now in my completely exhausted state just thinking about the image of her lying in my bed), she woke up (a little bit) and snuggled up to me, then I got up for cleanup duty and made her eggs and porridge.
Left her a note telling her to help herself to food and a shower at my place, then took a taxi to work; the water wasn't heated enough yet and I don't want to see her again until I refresh myself.
Now I'm sitting in the office, terribly hungover and wondering to myself if what I did was the best course of action for what I really wanted. Two variables here, and none possibly derivable to me right now.
I should probably give her a call. Or I could just wait for her to call me. Or maybe just take a sick day and go back to see her. Or just give in to my brain craving 12 hours of down time on a bed somewhere and deal with it all tonight.
I realize one thing now though, and that's I really like this girl.
In response to this part, don't drink if you can't work the next day. So work. Sort it out after you work, if she hasn't rang u by the end of the working day. Ring her when you get home (she might still be there, that would be the biggest sign ever!) then if not ring her up, make some small talk then see if she wants to me up again over weekend etcetc. Should be fun times!
Dont be a pussy just call her. Waiting longer only makes it more awkward for her because now she's thinking fuck fuck fuck I threw up on his carpet wtf is wrong with me fuck fuck fuck
First of all: AHAHAHAAHAHA! Really had a good laugh here.
On topic: Gl with her! Now that you know you both like eachother when you are drunk try it againg when you are sober. And PLEASE tell us what's gonna happen! I BEG YOU PLEASE!!!
Fun Read. My opinion is that if you "use" someone, like you're using her by omitting the information that you feel "mentally superior," it's less genuine. See, if you "suspend disbelief," she can do the same. When you repress a side of yourself that actually exists, you make yourself unaware of her versions of those things. If you try not to see you're dishonesty you will be tryign not to see all dishonesty, and thus she can pull the same moves on you! That's some hinduism mixed with psych for ya.
don't be too involved in the idea of "liking." that's something kids do. If she wants emotional closeness with you, she might want physical closeness, and vice-versa, but maybe not.
Be honest. Don't idealize her. When you make a move from a place of honesty the demons of failure will be real, thus easier to cope with than fake ones.Those are mirage-esque hallucinations because they come from idealizations.
Yea . . . DEFINITELY DON'T tell her about the piss in the vodka. Other than that, just have some fun. Are we going to get an update please?! What happened?
Wait, psychology and economics taught you that people are good on the inside? I don't know what courses you've been doing, man, but it sure don't sound like psych and eco to me.
On July 06 2013 00:47 aTnClouD wrote: lol, fun blog. but I would love to understand one thing. OP wanted to fuck girl, girl wanted to fuck aswell, so why no sex?
Op was in some weird state of mind and needed to proof to himself thats he's not only interested in sex but also in the personality of that girl. For the greater good and his even greater ego, something along those lines. (Op you are fuckin awesome, now tell us more!)
On July 06 2013 00:47 aTnClouD wrote: lol, fun blog. but I would love to understand one thing. OP wanted to fuck girl, girl wanted to fuck aswell, so why no sex?
Weren't zou the guy with the blog about cockblocking himself harder then anyone else ?
Sorry for the long delay, I only find the urge to or heck, even remember to blog when I'm in an altered state of mind.
Anyway I'm listening to this SICK track, look it up on youtube or something, it's psytrance by infected mushroom called "atrix on mushrooms", so please give it a bit of time for the electronic euphoria to kick in. After all, my good friend Alex whom I've gotten so fucked up with so many times but did too much that 1 time (RIP Alex, I love you with all my heart), said to me, "electronic music is just pure electrical impulses of euphoria in its purest and cleanest form IV'ed, shot straight to the dopamine receptors to the brain".
Ok so fuck I tend to ramble a bit and get all introspective when I'm fucked up, so here's the actually girl blog, and no effort will be made from here onwards to keep my monstrously hideous drunken grammar and spelling in check.
Where did I leave off?
Oh right, sititing in my office, deciding what to do. I.... I was really hungover, and I guesss it was a combinattion of rwa sexual regret (why didn't i fuck her brain out), pride in my "character" or "self-control" if you will (if I have any, sigh...), or myabeit was just drunken introspection and innacence, but I cried at my desk after I last posted in this thread. I just... sigh, so many things are wrong with my life. To be fair, I guess I have it pretty nice, with a stabel relativvely high-pauing job, a wholesme faimly, and hobbies and interestss. But I've always wantde more from my life, to achieve "greaterr" things, and I felt down because well fuck, I know I could achieve SO much more if I just put in a tiny weensy bit emore effort into the productive tasks in life. Like fuckkk, I wish I could just divert 20% of my time and energy into productive tasks and not hendonstic indulgences and I could be so much more. Anyway, fuck, enough rambling.
So I was theresitting with a few teiars streaming down my face, thinking about life in generall gettingg all introspectve up in my shit, when I chugged about half a flask of bourbon that I had staszhed away hidden in my computer case, and felt alright again. I felt clear (fuck I'm going down the path of alcoholism, excessively damaging drinsking detetected... maybe I'll be ok when I go back to the U.S., where more than one euphoriant aka alcohol can be readily found and available), I felt good, I felt confident agian. Somehow, after sips of bourbon, I felt clear, I felt directed, I had a goal and I started to analyse what I needed to do.
I weighted my detest for relationships (I just broke up with my ex after she fucked a hairdresser behind my back 2 weeks ago), my urge for sex, and my liking of Clarice, and I realized I really did like this girl and it wouldn't be just a one time thin.g
It was around 10 and I decided to call her, but whenn i grabbed my phone there were liske 2 missed calls and a text saying, "where are you?!!! I'm locked in your apartmenet!" So lol, dumb me, forgott about these chinesee doorss where if I lock the door from the oustside ppl cantt get out from the insddie.
So I call her up, and the convo went somethign like thsi:
Me: Yo i'm sorry I locked you insside, yosu're not busy laater are you?
C: No iam gotod, dont have annything plannedd but I have my period, and I neeed ot change my pad and ovisly theree are none at your place haha:D
Me: Oh shit, my bad I'm really sorry, Iattm at the offcie already and I'll call in sick and be thereee in 30amin.
C: cool, I'm feeling pretty pretty shitt too totally hungover, I waaant some paratacmol or iboprufen. Btw, how long hav u keptt thta bottle of vodka? It tasted like shitt was it like a cocktaill or somethin?
Me: (to myself, OH shit LOL, um thinkkk fast) Ah yah, it was orange juicce mixed with vodkaa, but the orangge jucie prolly went bad imm sorry i diddnt warn u I was too busyy impressing you with some rachmaniovv improv on the piaano haha.
C: meh dont wry about it, I'll be fine it's not liek I keept in my systeem right ahah? I'm REALLY sorry about teh puke stain on ur carpet, ewwwww that must have beeen so grosss im so sorry. btw ur dog shit on the floor, i cleaned it up for u so dont be mad at me ok? that canceels out the puking deal?
Me; deal, you know what it's completely alrright, Im just glad ur okya, ill be back in 30 min im already walkking outa the buidling.
C: see you soon "shuai ge" ("handsome stud", yeeeaahhh moertherfuckas!)
So i grabbb a taxi and head home, and on the waayy I had some small talk withtt the driver who was like, ewww you reek of alcohol and puke, fun nigth last night? and i was liek, yeeeea nigga, it was good, stop talkinng to me cuz i wanna puke. And he shutt up like rightt away and rollled down the window for me LOL.
Anyway, I got home wihttout pukking and it wasn'tt untisl I walked inside when i realized i must smelll like abssolute shit so i hugged clarice reallly briefly and was too insecure to even paay too muchh attenttion to her as the onnly thingg on my mind was a shower. Clarice was sobered up but had a headache, so I got somee generic brand ibuprofen for her and she thanked me with a peck on my cheek, which was pretty nice it was unexpected and sent that jolt of butterflies down the the back of my head (i dontt get it in my sotomach, i get it on the bacck of my head).
So then I told her i really needed a shower, and she said thatt she did tooo cuz shee didn'tt knoww how to work my hot water, which seems like a lie to me just realizing it now cuz I already programmed the water heaterr and all she had to do was to turrn on the fucking tapp. So...
We got into the shower together. And MAN, maybe it was the alochol kickin in, but at that momentt when she stripped downn to step into the bathtub i got so fuckking instantly hard she just had such a nice rack (at leastt b+?) and skinnnny leggs and small but round butt (whichh reallly turns mee on idont like fat legs and bigg butts), and she was so fuckign pretty.
Me: Holy.l Fcuking. SHIT. You are absolutttley GORGEOUS u know that? u are fucking perfect.
C: ur not too shabby urself hehe, I reallly like ur hairr and ur nose is reallly prettty but ur eyes are so small lol, i guess ur big dickkk makess up for itt (she was just complementing me, My dick is only something like 5 inches 2 last time i measureed, but i guess my girth is prretty good).
Me: come here now.
**grabs her and we makee out forr like 15 minutess in the hott water, it was fuckkking amazing not gunna lie here almost rivalling my first kiss"
Not gunna go intto fruther details heree, but we shampooed each other down, there wass a LOT of touching and sucking, and we dried ourselves up. The shower expierence was truly fucking fantasticc, i didddnt even reallly mind the small amountss of bleeding.
Ok fast forwardd like 15 minutes after the foreplay. I spaat a bit on my dick for lubricating purporse even thoughh it was kinda unnecessary cuz she was wet as fuck, and rammmed my dick intoo her shit. and Oh MY GOD was it ever euphoric, it was so fuckkking good it almost fucking cured me of sex desensitivity (after u fuck someeone on X and experrience a fucking torrent of too much pleasure, sexx just isntt the same any more afterwards, X makes u so fucking empathetic and euphoric, perfect for sex but damn does it desenstize u during laterr sexuall experiencess).
Anyway, it was like 20 min into the act did that realize thattt I didntt have a condom on. So i was like, FUCK IT, too late now lets hope she's cleean. Maybe thatt was whyy it felt so goodd, I havent had sex witihhout a condom for over a year now. Then i was like, OH shit, what if i knock her up with penial secretionn that contains a bit of seamen , then again I actually lauggh out loud a bit cuz i tookk a look at my dick adn realize it was covereeed in fuckinng blood.
Well, first time for everrtyhing. There were 2 actually, firstt time havingg period sex, and first time cummming inside a girll. It was special, I know it's cheesy but it's true. That mommment when u stare into a girl'ss eyes and blow ur shit inside herr body, that feeling... it's indescribable.
Anyway, gunna keep this short I've gott this massive headdache so just gunna tell it like it is and keep it simple.
1. We fucked, it was amaazing, I made her came twice with orall sex and once b44 i blew my load. We lied theree for hourrs just talkking and reallyy getting to know eacch other, and it was bonding as fuck and what we found out about each otherr were all nice and likeable.
2. She left later thatt day (she stilll livess with her parents... meh), andd I gave her a really nicee platinum necklacce ( that i bogught for my ex, but we broke up b4 I had a chance to givee it to her), and wee just hugged each other soo much that day it wass amazing, never have gotten so mucch pleasure from hugging someeone in my life.
2. we started realy dating each other, and so far so goodg I fucking loveee everytthing about her. Dinner dates, movies, swimming, drives in the countryside, the whole works.
3. the sex is amazing. fucked her 3 times today, and yesterday we got so honry i fucked her insidde a washrrrom stall inside this really ghetto and dirty restuarant but we didn't care and itt was still fucking wonderlicious. l
4. Gunna treat her nice, gunna treat her right. I dunno, she's just REALLY innocent, mayb e i'm just dumb and cant see thru her, but even after over-analyzing and overthinking again and again my time with her I realizee that she's just really carefree and a nice personnn. Not to menttion shes hott, I say that even when I'm completely sobbered up I'd rate her at least a 8.5/10, I promisse to talk a picturee later off her she's just gorgeouss .
5. I got tested yesterday, and yayyy im clean shes cleannn the sex is CLEAN. Fuck yah she's in her safety period 4 more days until sheee ovulates so at least 2 more days of animalistic condomm free sex fuck yah
Anway, gunna end with this:
Who says clubs aren't good places to find nice grils?!!! I'm really glad I found my onee adn only.
Editt;
who says u can't find true love from one (or wasit two?) night stands?
On July 10 2013 01:15 HardlyNever wrote: Meh, I'm starting to think this isn't real. Pics would help.
Im not gunnna lie but it's like what i said in op it's 10% exaggeration but 90% truttth. Some deatails mightt have beenn unintentionally alteredd, but the generall floww of eveents are quitte accuratee.
U says pics, that's finee, what kindaa pic would uu likee? Like, a pic of me with some girl doessnt say much does it? wud puke stain/dog/bloodstain pics help? or vodka piss botttlee? I dunnno, but I reallly u know im just a hedonist and I chase highs abvvoe anything lelse, and I meet a lot of ppl but reallyy only trruly unforrgettable expereiences can drives me to blog and actaully reflect upon them.
Anywayy, noww i justt realize and thinkk that ur jealous of all the sexx and disguissed bragging lol (wassnt even consicously trying to braggg just describbing the awesomenesss of teh sex). But no really, hte sex's been awesomee, sometimees have outt ofhte ordinary sexx thatt only last for like a bit b4 it loses its magic, soo why cannt u be happy for me, whyyyyy?!!!!
On July 10 2013 01:15 HardlyNever wrote: Meh, I'm starting to think this isn't real. Pics would help.
Im not gunnna lie but it's like what i said in op it's 10% exaggeration but 90% truttth. Some deatails mightt have beenn unintentionally alteredd, but the generall floww of eveents are quitte accuratee.
U says pics, that's finee, what kindaa pic would uu likee? Like, a pic of me with some girl doessnt say much does it? wud puke stain/dog/bloodstain pics help? or vodka piss botttlee? I dunnno, but I reallly u know im just a hedonist and I chase highs abvvoe anything lelse, and I meet a lot of ppl but reallyy only trruly unforrgettable expereiences can drives me to blog and actaully reflect upon them.
Anywayy, noww i justt realize and thinkk that ur jealous of all the sexx and disguissed bragging lol (wassnt even consicously trying to braggg just describbing the awesomenesss of teh sex). But no really, hte sex's been awesomee, sometimees have outt ofhte ordinary sexx thatt only last for like a bit b4 it loses its magic, soo why cannt u be happy for me, whyyyyy?!!!!
I mean, if its real and you're happy, congrats. I'm just saying you're blurring the lines between believable and fiction, for me.
The screwed up text is what's really getting me. Like, I get you're supposed to be "fucked up on something," but it just doesn't feel authentic. Plus there are a few details to the story that don't really seem true. But hey, could be legit.
As far as pics, most of the above (probably not the bloodstains) would be cool. A pic of you and her would be awesome, especially if you have to tell her "hey, I have this blog about us on the internet and I need a pic of us so this random guy will believe my story."
The fact that this is written in broken drunk "I cnanot tyep" spelling makes this even more laughable. Thank you for delivering By the way the no condom thing .... that was fucking risky.
One of the greatest romantic commedies of our time. Add a few couple photos and this blog will be complete. :D subtly put something TL related in the background like TL website left on laptop or 'sup son' in the background.
lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
On July 10 2013 20:18 GhostOwl wrote: lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
I cant believe it took til p5 for someone to tell the op he is a drunk retard hahahahahahahahahahaha jesus. This might be the biggest train wreck of a blog ever good lord.
Fun fact: stds take at least several weeks to show up, and ones like HPV you wont ever know you have until you get dick warts or dick cancer because you can't test for guys! Yay!
Also, girls absolutely can get pregnant on their period, as this dude said, and unless she really really know her ovulation schedule, it is pretty much Russian roulette. Chances are, a drunkard bar girl who lets you go down on her on her period and raw dog her within 24 hours of meeting her hasn't the slightest clue about that. And you're also probably not the first one to get up in there under similar circumstances
On the bright side, now that you both likely have disease ridden genitals, you're kinda bound by each other!
This sounds like the start of beautiful relationship.
On July 10 2013 20:18 GhostOwl wrote: lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
I cant believe it took til p5 for someone to tell the op he is a drunk retard hahahahahahahahahahaha jesus. This might be the biggest train wreck of a blog ever good lord.
Fun fact: stds take at least several weeks to show up, and ones like HPV you wont ever know you have until you get dick warts or dick cancer because you can't test for guys! Yay!
Also, girls absolutely can get pregnant on their period, as this dude said, and unless she really really know her ovulation schedule, it is pretty much Russian roulette. Chances are, a drunkard bar girl who lets you go down on her on her period and raw dog her within 24 hours of meeting her hasn't the slightest clue about that. And you're also probably not the first one to get up in there under similar circumstances
On the bright side, now that you both likely have disease ridden genitals, you're kinda bound by each other!
This sounds like the start of beautiful relationship.
Cheers!
How does one get a proper sex education, with aspects of biology, preventitive medicine and pragmatic advice?
On July 10 2013 20:18 GhostOwl wrote: lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
I cant believe it took til p5 for someone to tell the op he is a drunk retard hahahahahahahahahahaha jesus. This might be the biggest train wreck of a blog ever good lord.
Fun fact: stds take at least several weeks to show up, and ones like HPV you wont ever know you have until you get dick warts or dick cancer because you can't test for guys! Yay!
Also, girls absolutely can get pregnant on their period, as this dude said, and unless she really really know her ovulation schedule, it is pretty much Russian roulette. Chances are, a drunkard bar girl who lets you go down on her on her period and raw dog her within 24 hours of meeting her hasn't the slightest clue about that. And you're also probably not the first one to get up in there under similar circumstances
On the bright side, now that you both likely have disease ridden genitals, you're kinda bound by each other!
This sounds like the start of beautiful relationship.
Cheers!
How does one get a proper sex education, with aspects of biology, preventitive medicine and pragmatic advice?
6th grade Health class.
we had this box that you could put anonymous questions in. That's how i found out what a Rusty Trombone is. Our teacher actually looked it up on google in class.
On July 10 2013 20:18 GhostOwl wrote: lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
I cant believe it took til p5 for someone to tell the op he is a drunk retard hahahahahahahahahahaha jesus. This might be the biggest train wreck of a blog ever good lord.
Fun fact: stds take at least several weeks to show up, and ones like HPV you wont ever know you have until you get dick warts or dick cancer because you can't test for guys! Yay!
Also, girls absolutely can get pregnant on their period, as this dude said, and unless she really really know her ovulation schedule, it is pretty much Russian roulette. Chances are, a drunkard bar girl who lets you go down on her on her period and raw dog her within 24 hours of meeting her hasn't the slightest clue about that. And you're also probably not the first one to get up in there under similar circumstances
On the bright side, now that you both likely have disease ridden genitals, you're kinda bound by each other!
This sounds like the start of beautiful relationship.
Cheers!
How does one get a proper sex education, with aspects of biology, preventitive medicine and pragmatic advice?
6th grade Health class.
we had this box that you could put anonymous questions in. That's how i found out what a Rusty Trombone is. Our teacher actually looked it up on google in class.
lmao, I learned that by talking to my buddies. The inpracticality of such knowledge, the fact that he probably read it off urbandictionary, all goes to show what a joke sex education is.
Holy shit... It was like reading Charlie Sheen's diary. + Show Spoiler +
Too good to be true but if it's true with Charlie Sheen, it can probably be with you as well.
After that piss-drinking, I was sort of expecting this either go to where you two decide on an extreme winter mountain climbing in Tibet or where she pulls out a drill and cracks your skull open to relieve sudden intracranial pressure that was caused by your serious underlying health condition. So you've disappointed me in a positive way.
The real happy ending, though will be when you two get the opportunity to have a bloodbath sex next month.
Hi guys, I just wanted to thank Musai here, who gifted me with 1 months of TL+ which has been awesome. It's not so much teh value added-on shit like no-ads and TL only forum, but it's the awesome feeling of contribution and a tiny bit of superiority PLUS the warm feeling of receiving a gift that made the experience/gift totally awesome.
Anyway, Im noit gunna ramble on again, but I will sayy this, I fucking toally scored some totally awesome "special mind tactics" tonight,d the empathy and fucking absolute PURE euphoria is overfuckingwhelmingg as FUCKK.
Ok i will ramble on just a bit here:
Some personal thoughts on "substance" usage:
1. Do as much research as you possible can, from as many sources as you can, before you try anything. Trust me, you will NOT regret this piece of advice, whether for enhancing the experience or just for safety purposes, the mind, the setting, fucking knowledfge is power.
2. Damn holy fucking shittt. Honestly u know wat, i feel REALLy sorry for ppl who has never tried any substance harder than alcohol ciggarettes. I'm gunna takl about responsiblee and sustainable substance use, but for now, lemme just sayy hoooooooooooolllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy FUCKKKKKKKKKKK SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, how the mind can derive SOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH fucking pleasure from a chemical is utterly fuckinnng ungooooooooooodly. What I'm feeling right nowww, although once I baselineee I won't remember it (because I wont be able to, euphoriaa is only evident when you feel it lool, i dunnno if that makess any sensese), the feeeeling right naw is just fuckingggg mind-bllowing. I'mmm having sooooooo much trouble trying to describle just how fuccking esxtatic I feel, but fuck, just trrry to paint this picttture - imagine your besttt orgasm X 234234652 in intensity and X 100 in duration. Yah, u onlyyy livee once, like my friend aaron told me, I'm only live once mathafauka!, so I'm heree for a good time, not a LONGGGG time yahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
try to conitnue this bloggg when I get a bit moreee sober, once my fuckinng serentonin and dopamine receptators have rechargesed to conntinue my really needed talkk about susbstances, the good abouttt it, athe bad about itt, everything that I love about ittt andd how to enjooy it on a long term in aa responsible way... ..
Imma enddd wit this: "ddrugs are bad m'kay? but sometime,s used ressponbisibly in a disciplineeed mannner, can be so good. sooo fucking goood. you'llll regreeet it , you would neever have lived, if you'vee never trried anythtthing hardeer thanbooze and cigs. Youu only liev once,, makee the mosttt3 of i,t, like mmy verrry good psychonauttic friend aaron says:
YOLO)! moatherfuckaa, I'm heeere for a good timee, not a lnog time. Fuck it, and just leet it goo."
Yahhhhhhh!&^&(*(**(*(***%%^*&(&%*^& I'm soo fucccking overwhelmmmed with utter and insannnnne amounnts of euhphoriaa its not eveeen fucking funny. HOLYY FCUKKING SHIT< 3. yah anyway, what the fuckkk, I cannnottttttttttttttttttt249879y523859 for the life of me form a cohereent seteneence LOL!LLLLLLl, so fuckkkkkkkkkkkk itttttttttttt, illlll continue or a t tleast
On July 15 2013 00:39 PassiveAce wrote: Cocaines a hell of a drug
The best argument iv ever seen against drugs is your spelling and grammar here lol
Dudde, u have no fucking ideaa. Dunno if uv everr droowned in tish much pure trainwreaaking esctassy, but fuckkk, honestyl liek I ccuold prolly fccuk a hoobo in hiss bawls right naow and fuckccking enjooy it.
LOL annnnnnnnyyway immm reading some statisttic textbook and thiss fuckingg shit is sooo minddblow, ing, how the FUCK did thiese mathamaticans came up witht tthis fuckcking shit is beyond me holy fuccking shit matth is awesomee holy fuck shit holly fucking shitt i fucking loveee it the fucking mind expansion the euphoria the fucking utter fucking feeel goood is too mcuhh.
'
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!U*Y&^%^$%#$^*&_()$#%$%^&*&^$^%*^7 tripppiknnnn ballls now, gggoing into ananhother dimeensiozn,
ima fcucking try to descvribbe it jusstt a bit itss so hard ttrrysing to stayyy heere wit chout comepletelyy losssing my seeense fo self, but fuckkkkkkk
walkkking beside a stream, fisshses in it, itt smilesss at me,
HOLY FUCKIGN SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. Everrrything meltting. thje colorsss, the fucking colorrs, man, i'm hittt so hardd, fuckinng ass rammed by this shttt.
i jsust smoked liek half a cigg..... the wrrrong way. i was wondedering whyyy it keept going out lol fuck ughh the cotton taste is fuckingg grosss as fuck
K plateau'ing, feeeeling calm andd energitic again, and lemmee just say I fucking loove TL and SC, i fcuking appreciatee the raww skillz of progamers soo much, holy fuccking shit im gguoing thru some old bisu vods and the screeen swtichcing and apm of ma boi be33suit holy shit, i wud totallyy hav his babby, lol fuckkk, starddust streammm ispretty twitchy andd mindblwwoing as well
brb gunnna fire up sc3, promsise to upoload replayy latter
On July 15 2013 01:01 EngrishTeacher wrote: FCUK MA LYFEE FUCKk LOLLLL dafuq
i jsust smoked liek half a cigg..... the wrrrong way. i was wondedering whyyy it keept going out lol fuck ughh the cotton taste is fuckingg grosss as fuck
this thread gives so much and asks for so little in return
On July 10 2013 20:18 GhostOwl wrote: lol I would never cum inside a girl, regardless of period, because that shit is dangerous. Some people even say that period is the time when the girl is most fertile..so idk. My ex was on pills for a long time so I got to cum inside a lot, and it does feel great, but I actually prefer a condom these days /w my current gf because it makes me last a lot longer
I can't believe you gave her oral while she's on her period...jesus that's gross..
I cant believe it took til p5 for someone to tell the op he is a drunk retard hahahahahahahahahahaha jesus. This might be the biggest train wreck of a blog ever good lord.
Fun fact: stds take at least several weeks to show up, and ones like HPV you wont ever know you have until you get dick warts or dick cancer because you can't test for guys! Yay!
Also, girls absolutely can get pregnant on their period, as this dude said, and unless she really really know her ovulation schedule, it is pretty much Russian roulette. Chances are, a drunkard bar girl who lets you go down on her on her period and raw dog her within 24 hours of meeting her hasn't the slightest clue about that. And you're also probably not the first one to get up in there under similar circumstances
On the bright side, now that you both likely have disease ridden genitals, you're kinda bound by each other!
This sounds like the start of beautiful relationship.
Cheers!
Doesn't even matter if you think you can dodge the eggs. Your sperm can chill up in there for up to a week iirc.
On July 15 2013 01:09 EngrishTeacher wrote: K plateau'ing, feeeeling calm andd energitic again, and lemmee just say I fucking loove TL and SC, i fcuking appreciatee the raww skillz of progamers soo much, holy fuccking shit im gguoing thru some old bisu vods and the screeen swtichcing and apm of ma boi be33suit holy shit, i wud totallyy hav his babby, lol fuckkk, starddust streammm ispretty twitchy andd mindblwwoing as well
brb gunnna fire up sc3, promsise to upoload replayy latter
What was he supposed to have taken anyway? I'm genuinely curious.
This isn't even about the girl anymore lol, also it appears(?) he struck the fine, delicate balance between completely trashed out of his mind and still able to post on TL.
On July 15 2013 01:09 EngrishTeacher wrote: K plateau'ing, feeeeling calm andd energitic again, and lemmee just say I fucking loove TL and SC, i fcuking appreciatee the raww skillz of progamers soo much, holy fuccking shit im gguoing thru some old bisu vods and the screeen swtichcing and apm of ma boi be33suit holy shit, i wud totallyy hav his babby, lol fuckkk, starddust streammm ispretty twitchy andd mindblwwoing as well
brb gunnna fire up sc3, promsise to upoload replayy latter
lmaaaaaaaaaaaaooo dude your op reminds me of when of my old drunk texts. loooool. so have you boned her yet??? :D
Technical question: if you had yourself tested within days of the first unprotected intercourse, wouldn't there be diseases that are not yet testable because of -say- a lack of antibodies etc?
On July 18 2013 03:07 _fool wrote: Technical question: if you had yourself tested within days of the first unprotected intercourse, wouldn't there be diseases that are not yet testable because of -say- a lack of antibodies etc?
Yes.
(It obviously depends on the what exactly, as a random example HIV would take 1-3 months to be detectable after infection.)
EPT
???!!!! She drank some whisky, shitty jack dainels cuz that's all i can find here, and then took some sips from my piss-infusedd vokda bottle. I didn't even reallize it when she drank that revolting shit cuz i was breaking it down with some rachamnivnoff improvisation, and only after she threw up did I realize that LOL WHHHHHHAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the ZFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK, she drank my piss LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
good luck with her 
.
