EPTI want to change my attitude toward girls. - Page 2
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aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
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SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
On June 26 2013 00:51 aTnClouD wrote: Want to be good at pickup in Italy? Good luck, you are in the worst place in the world for that. Women here are very hostile to pickup anywhere and you get 95% of relationships and fuckfriends off closed tight social circles. It's not a coincidence that you never learned how to do it. Words of wisdom :') But as I said, it's not just about talking TO get something, like sex. I would be content even in talking for the SAKE of it, because in that way I would overcome this shyness (not sure if it's the right word, in this case) obstacle! | ||
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Shikada
Serbia976 Posts
On June 26 2013 00:51 aTnClouD wrote: Want to be good at pickup in Italy? Good luck, you are in the worst place in the world for that. Women here are very hostile to pickup anywhere and you get 95% of relationships and fuckfriends off closed tight social circles. It's not a coincidence that you never learned how to do it. Interesting, I have heard from some of my friends whom went to Italy that this is indeed true. Women are uptight and hard to approach. Well, not every single one can be like that, right  SoSexy, most people are saying: just do it! And I would agree, but don't just approach someone to talk for the sake of talking. First have something to say. I know that sounds basic but I find it necessary to start with something interesting or relevant. It gives you that significant first opening, from where small talk can develop further. That's how I do it at least, I never tried the "Hey my name is X, what's yours?", although if you're chatty that might work too (I am not). Just don't overthink it too much | ||
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Fission
Canada1184 Posts
In my experience, social interaction is a skill like any other - it's something you get better at with practice! The best way to get comfortable talking to people is to talk to people  Now, that doesn't mean you should just try to chat up random strangers on the street or on the bus, because most people (particularly women) will be anxious and not comfortable with that kind of interaction. The best way is to find social groups or activities that you find interesting, and meet all the others who share your interest (eg: running/biking club, chess club, painting/dancing/student groups whatever). You will become much more comfortable interacting with women when you can do it in an environment where interaction is expected!Alot of young men never interact with women as people, and end up becoming fixated on the sexual aspect of their interactions. This is a mistake, I think. It makes everything really frustrating and frankly pisses off most women a ton. If you treat women as people (not just as objects of your sexual interest), make lots of different friends, become involved in social groups etc, you will naturally meet women who are interested in you (because you are probably an interesting person) and your social anxiety will go away! Just to echo other posters and reiterate myself though - if you try to "talk up" women because you want to fuck them, you're going to have a bad time. Most people can see straight through it, and it won't bring you any closer to being comfortable around women (and having them be comfortable around you, too). | ||
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Stratos_speAr
United States6959 Posts
On June 26 2013 00:01 SoSexy wrote: Stratos_spear, remember that my wish would not exclusively be 'talk to people so that they can become my best friends/future wife/etc'. I meet plenty of new people with my activities: I just want to talk to strangers to overcome and destroy this habit that I feel is terribly restraining to my life. Then my advice is simply in my first post; be interested in them. This is honestly the biggest problem that I see men consistently having when talking to women in general. The air of "This is awkward because you might be hitting on me" is often there because men focus way too much on, "I'm socially interacting with a woman and I have to act this way and that way!". Just be genuinely interested in who they are as a person and you'll get pretty far. Have that interest, and you can turn any number of completely inconsequential talking points into great conversations and a basis for solid social interaction. Don't think about them as a woman, just think of them as a person that has a ton of interesting life experiences and stories to tell. The woman part can come later if you realize you're into her. | ||
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hp.Shell
United States2527 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On June 25 2013 22:28 Stratos_speAr wrote: You can meet new people all the time without walking up to them and talking to them in a situation where you obviously have absolutely zero connection and zero reason to strike up a conversation in the first place. I mean hey, I've actually met friends by doing that/them doing that to me, but don't expect it to be totally fine/normal and not awkward or anything, because it kind of is. You're just sitting down next to/walking up to someone that you don't no and have absolutely no connection to and trying to strike up a conversation, usually with the obviously broadcasted intent of picking them up. Do you somehow expect that not to be at least a little awkward? If it creates awkward situations when you start talking to random stranger it's your problem, not the problem of talking to strangers in general. @OP: There is no magic blue pill. Go out, find ways of talking to strangers (even just a random "hi" when walking past someone is getting your further than what you're doing now) and enjoy meeting new people. Any more specific advice than that should be seen as a trainingwheel, similar to most of the basic stuff you will find in the PUA scene. | ||
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Japhybaby
Canada301 Posts
What i'm trying to say is how hard you work on these things will appear. Even if you are not a hollywood movie star, work hard to understand your short comings so that when you do fail you aren't hopeless, you know? So my point is, it's really alll about understanding where you fit into other people's worlds. Seeing things as objectively as possible instead of distorting it to fit your desires. Also, maybe it is your unconscious mind holding you back? Maybe you instinctually know that you are not ready to deal with the emotions a relationship will create. | ||
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Vivax
21972 Posts
If you approach with a random hi and immediately start talking about some random shit or ask them things about them that should rather appear awkward (but awkward situations are emotionally arousing and can be used if you turn it into a funny one). By asking for information you do the scouting to see how the mood is, you also see if they like your physis. If you want to pick up, get ready to style yourself, be funny and touch people a lot. You won't pick up shit if you're funny and good looking but don't touch girls, unless they are of the rare aggressive sort that touches you. I've experienced that even mediocre looking guys who seem drunk can go quite far just by confident approach and touching. What cloud said about Italy isn't 100% true. You can socialize everywhere, but in certain settings it's easier since people GO there to socialize. Check out pubs, consider tourists. Especially US chicks are proactive. In the train people might want to be left alone, that's why you have to scout the situation. If you feel embarrassed, you will have to do embarrassing shit. For example, consider the english language. Italy isn't renowned for its inhabitant's english skills. Talk to groups of girls faking to be an english dude, when they feel all awkward cause their english is shit, surprisingly switch to italian and make fun of them, if they'll find it funny, you had a good starter and know they aren't lame, else go on. Whatever happens, you'll feel like a confident massive troll, which is good regardless of the outcome. | ||
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Rainbow Cuddles
United States486 Posts
If you can't be with someone as yourself you will never truly enjoy the relationship in the long run. My best suggestion if you live in a big city, if you see someone you think is attractive just ask them if you have something in common. If not, move along. You'll eventually find someone WORTH being yourself around. tl;dr - Be a man & talk to girls you find attractive. If they don't have similar interests, move along. It'll give you the confidence you need to catch the girls you are interested in who have the same interests as you. | ||
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Burrfoot
United States1176 Posts
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I want to overcome that.
