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And yet, I think clearer than I have ever done so before.
Massive amounts of introspection, regret, revelation, ambition, and most importantly, hope.
I have lived such a hedonistic life style, that I've forgotten and completely overlooked the most important things in life.
Change is coming, I can feel it.
I am a fucking human being. Therefore I am gifted with all the wonderful and absolutely fantastical human emotions.
It's these emotions that drives us for the future, for a better future.
I care so much. About just about everything that I should care about, because I am a fucking human being.
I love my parents, my GF, the world. I fucking care and empathize with the sufferings of the kids from Africa, from slaves forced into prostitution through human trafficking, etc. I do, I really fucking do.
The intense and massive revelation that I am having, stemming from alcohol, a legal substance of all things, much more so than any other euphoriants or hallucinagens that I have come into contact with previously, is that I must improve myself in order to ameloriate the fucking world.
Too drunk to type up what I went through todayk, but I saw some fucked up things. Truely fcuked up things that are iconic of pretty much everything wrong with the world. It's the fucking circumstances, that made me realize just how much I need to get off my fucking lazy ass, use that fucking gifted brain that I have, and fucking make a difference in this world.
So many people on TL are "gifted". That is, above average in IQ. I tested 138 in IQ before for the mensa or whatever IQ test that I took part in. and fuck, only now do i realize that so many people on TL are so much more fucking smarter than that, and I am just a fucking nobody.
But what differentiates betterweens smart people, and great people, is fucking determinationa/hard work/will power
If i continue to go down this parth of decancdnece, of utter fucking waste of my talents, than I'll just be that guy that dies that did absolutely nothing.
I'd like to think of myself as agnostic, but in reality i do believe in a "god,", or higherer power if you will. It pains me, to think that my life is without purpose, that the lives of my fellow human comrasdes are without purposes, that we are just fucking a product of hcance in this vast univerise and that we will NEVER be able to understand the compliexities and intracacties of the univerise. So I CHOOOSE, to blieve in a higher power, something that gives me purpose.
So fuck, I just realized that relgigion is a positive thing. Absolutely postive about that. It gives us hope and is something that's inherently programmed into our very genetics that makes a world a better placse.
fuck too drunk and to introspectively euphoric to actually carry on and type up a cohenrent thoughts.
So, pointers to summarize because I still remember: (aka relevations of life)
1. i need to improve mysyelf vastly (not wastee my pontental) in order to put myself in a good enough financial and social position in order to change and help the world, because I can and I need to. If I continue to keep fucking up due to laziness and decadence than I'll just become another "gifted" (fuck i hate this word but i am so deprived o f vocab currentlyyu) prick that worries about the small things in life and just try to get by. I'll get slowed down by the fucking tedious shits of life to actually make any difference.
2. I care. No matter how much I depise myself sometimes in altered states of mind, deep down I am a fucking "GOOD PERSON". I care, genetics did not fuck up in programming me into a loving human fucking being. I want to "help" my fellow humans, I want to reduce suffering, I want to make a difference, I WANT TO fucking make the world a better place.
3. We need to just sometimes be strong. and when I say strong, I mean this:
Willpower is so fucking erratic, it fucking ocilates between the extremems so miuch. Like I have so much willpower now to act and change, but in reality I know, deep down that tomorrow when i wake up fucked up as shit I am going to "forget", that is possess none to verry little of the willpower that I have now. I'm going to fucking sit the fuck down and play starcraft, watch movies, and fuck my girlfriend. Basically reward my fucking dopamine recepters in that fucking brain of mine.
So, in order to not make that happen, I need to check back to this thrad and make sure I look at that Dday pic and act.
Fellow TL'ers, Y'all need to act. stop being a slave to laziness and weakness, and fucking just do it.
Peace out, I'm gunna go fuck shit up.
 
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You're taking the "I love you bro" drunk comments a little too far. This mostly just sounds like a guide for starting alcoholism.
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5 stars.
Best drunken rambling I've read in a long time, and often stuff that I'm likely to think about when I get drunk/euphoric, which doesn't happen so often anymore.
Keep living the good life!
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Peace out, I'm gunna go fuck shit up.
Meaning: head in toilet unable to stand up.
Joking aside, I think those are some pretty good ideas you put down. Good thing you wrote them because I have a feeling you're not gonna remember them next day.
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Or you could stop trying to be the best and just enjoy yourself (cos that's all the best ever did!).
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Solid drunken rambling, 5/5. I came to this realization, sober, about halfway through my final year of my undergrad. So glad I did. Best of luck to you!
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Nice post, and it actually makes a lot of sense haha. I'm impressed you were able to keep it together without forgetting where you began, which is what some drunken posts end up doing.
I always cringe when people mention their IQ though. Stephen Hawking said only losers talk about their IQ. You're not a loser, but I just thought i'd mention that in case it interests you
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United States24781 Posts
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times.
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On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times.
He's drunk have you not been paying attention? It's especially easy to use the word "fuck" as punctuation when you're drunk. ^_^
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On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times.
because it has an inifinite amount of uses/definitions.
It can be a noun, "you fuck"
a verb "he fucked her"
an adverb "he fucking killed it"
an adjective "thats a fucking bear"
an interjection "Fuck! what just happened?"
its just such a versatile word.
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United States12129 Posts
On June 15 2013 05:17 MaestroSC wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times. because it has an inifinite amount of uses/definitions. It can be a noun, "you fuck" a verb "he fucked her" an adverb "he fucking killed it" an adjective "thats a fucking bear" an interjection "Fuck! what just happened?" its just such a versatile word.
Sample sentence: Fuck! Fucking fuck the fucking fucker. It's true though, it is certainly a multi-purpose word.
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United States24781 Posts
On June 15 2013 05:03 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times. He's drunk have you not been paying attention?
That would explain 12 or 13 uses, not 35 or 36, obviously.
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On June 15 2013 05:22 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2013 05:03 Djzapz wrote:On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times. He's drunk have you not been paying attention? That would explain 12 or 13 uses, not 35 or 36, obviously.
Why do you have to hate on the word fuck? The blog also contains "I" "but" and "that" many times, and as MaestroSC pointed out, fuck is a much more multipurpose word than those three (which are all utility, no style). Sometimes fucks are not given, but I object to your singling out and prejudice towards the word fuck.
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Im just here for the fucks.
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5/5 for fucks and giggles.
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"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
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On June 15 2013 05:22 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On June 15 2013 05:03 Djzapz wrote:On June 15 2013 04:40 micronesia wrote:
Why the fuck do you have such a fucking hardon for the word fuck? You used it 36 times. He's drunk have you not been paying attention? That would explain 12 or 13 uses, not 35 or 36, obviously.
He's drunk and in China. That should be good for a few more fucks.
Also, my signature seems apropos.
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5/5 you experienced a moment of clarity some would say. you are amazing never forget this post!
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wtf how did you manage to type this up with formatting and everything while hammered
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you have inspired me to get drunk
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haha aw, yeah i'm so driven to action but i can't decide which action is the best one so i don't take any! i think that's the real problem.. I start off by eating better, no mcdonalds, then i will focus on being human and living in my body and not in my head. Then i will focus on being with the people who are actually around me instead of trying to be with people on the internet.
my explanation of OP's "fuck boner" (lol) is that its the alcohol. Fuck sometimes comes out when inhibitions are suspended for one and it also portrays a sense of surrender to deep and human emotions."duude i fuckin love you.. like fuckin LOVE, i mean it dude... fuck! can't you see..fuck man.. i do.
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Clearly OP is a lightweight nursing half a bud-light! Real drunks can't find the spacebar.
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I've always hated that version of the D-day picture. The words bluntly mashed onto it really ruin the impact
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Shit.
Here we go again.
I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty FUCKED right now.
Something that strikes me hard right now, is the realization that alcohol does not make me a fiend. What I mean by this is that it does not make me less motivated, does not produce enough euphoria, does not act like opiates that makes me simply forget about all my worries and lose all my motivation and produce that aura of ABOSTLUTE and UTTER blanket of warmth and invincibility that just reduces me into a wreck of human being fueled by fake endorphins.
It makes me think. Hard. Harder than any other substance known to me, and my repertoire is pretty impressive to say the least.
It's not the fucking out of the world revelations of trips meeting with gods realization of the meaning of life bullshit etc etc that comes with certain hallucinagens, but rather quite simply DEEPPPPP introspection into my very soul.
It all comes down to the question, "how should I live my life to the fullest?"
Certain things come to mind.
From experience reports on www.erowid.org (a MASSIVE website for bith orbjective and subjectivsve informations and drugs), I know for almost certainty, for fact that hoerin is the most intense feeling of euphoria, of pure utter fucking ecstasy for the body. If I were to IV an pappropirate amount of H into my system, NOTHING would ever top that shit in terms of just feeling raw heavenly "good" and peace.
But really, that is not what I want. The mind is just as important as the bodyd. The mind produces such profound feelings of "understandting", for a lack of a better word, of utter insight, relevation, that it needs to be stimulated enough to produce the utlimiate euphoria known to mankind.
What i'm talking about probably doesn'tt make a whole lot of sense to you as a reader, but fuck it makes perfect sense to me and I'm sure if i were suber and attempeted my best to expliain, you would undeerstand it too but fuck, just not capablble right now.
ZBasically, what to take away is that susbstance use should be controlled (on a personal level). They are probably the best thing to happen to a human being, where a such insignficiant chemical chould cahnge one's peception, mood, mental pattern, of SOUL so profoundly on such an expectedly short notice, produceing the UTMOST feelings of EUPHORIA (of what it feels like to be simply human) so suddenly.
So therefore,
TLDR:
Sbubstance use is to be respected. It IS fucking beneifical if one is in a good state of mind and body (financial, physical, emotional well-being). So, as fucking pathetic as it sounds (but it is true for me, I realize that it is going to be basically what I'll value above almost all other aspectss of life), I'm going to pursue a life of perfect emotions. Whether it comes from real life endophorin of "feel good" chemical releases [e.g., chocolate, ahceivements in life, love, etc.], or chemical enhancements, I am going to fucking chase the perfect cominbation of emotions.
I've always prefered the pilosophy of that it is better to live a life of extremes, of sadness and happiness, of down and up, of insight and shame, of godliness and guilt, etc. etc. that to live a life of mediorcity. Right now, thinking about the future of perfect chemisty in my brain, do I pity my more successful friends what went on to achieve "more" in the physical word, of making more money, of having better social circles, of whatever that is valued as more successffull in contemporary society. I pity them because, I now know for a FUCKING fact, that they would NEVER feel as good as I do with all my epxperiences and knowledge of chemcial angelic ehcancements.
TLDDDDDDR:
From the mouth of the guy that introducesd me to chems, I thank him and quote:
I'm here for a good time, not a long time.
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Basically, it's likee this:
An analogy that I could best conjure right now is sex - drugs.
1. If you had sex with your most beloved person EVERy fucking day for as many times as you can, you will NOT feel as good each time. Sex/masturbation much too frequenty will dull the experience, producing probably only 1/100000000 of the euphoria that you experience the first time you orgrasm.
2. Now imagine you were locked away in a senory deprivation room for 3 years. Then as soon as you're released, you get to FUCK the most beautiful woman in the entire fucking world. Now how absolutely amazing would that be? indescribable in words, absolutely.
a. same shit with chems. If you were to indulge in whatever chem you fancy everyday, chasing that fake high, those shameful dopamine, then every experience just gets progressively worse with use dosage.
b. Now iamgine you work hard, make you body and mind deserve the chemical pleasures, and THEN indugle. Alcohol/weed/whatever experiencess once a year in the perfect state of mind and physical well-being along with careful preparation? Fuck god, that shit is gold. 9.5/10 in absolute terms in terms of "feel good". Do it everyday? 0.5/10 in absolute terms of euphoria.
Averaged out, doing whatever you want living a hedonistic lifestyle every single fucking wake moment produces more dopamine totalled then averaged out over a certain period of time. But that shit is pathetic, mediocre, weak, fucking shameful. It's those extremems of highs and lows, of hardwork/determination vs. ultimate reward that's worth living for.
Even forr normal people, it's the fucking same shit. Eat chocolate everyday and be lazy everyday? feels good, but then negative life aspects such as obesity and mediocrity sets in. VS> work super hard 6 days a week and indulge in sex/food/entertainment to the utmost degree on sunday? Fuck yah, that's the puropose of life.
Play hard, as hard as you fucking possibly can without endagering the future, and work even harder.
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All things in moderation. Including fucks.
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heroin is fucking horrible. It will turn every sober minute of your life into a nightmare. Anyone that uses it to feel good is missing the big picture.
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EPT
