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Hey again guys
A lot of time has passed and not much has happened that's significant until now. I'm graduating from high school now, going to college that's pretty nice, and I'm overall happy with most aspects of my life. But inevitably there's this obstacle that I'm too afraid and weak to cross.
From last where we left off, I was in a spiral of a hopeless crush for that one girl I met that fateful day in an engineering class. We didn't talk much, teacher hated me and embarrassed me, and she was two years younger than me. But nonetheless I still had a thing for her, SM, not the girl of my dreams but damn close to it. A year passed, and I still couldn't bring myself to do something until now.
Let's start from the last blog post. February passed, and I didn't ask her to Winterball. I've never been to a highschool dance because the middle school dances were awkward, retarded and a waste of time. I thought that was like that at highschool it was, and I've heard multiple of accounts of them being like that. I didn't want any encounter with her to be like that. March came with no consequence, April flew by as well as prom. Sadly it was junior prom because my school's weird like that. But at this time of year, I start thinking more about things ending, school, my time at my childhood home, plus my chance of asking SM (the girl) out. Prom flew by, May came along with AP exams. I was starting to feel panicked, there's barely a month of school left, and my chance with her was slipping away. For a while I would just lie awake, thinking of how much regret I felt for the whole year since I was frankly being a complete pussy. There was always that feeling in my gut, either butterflies, or the sheer regret and anger at myself. The end of May came by and I finally resolved myself to make the goddamn move on her.
Beginning of this week on Monday, I wanted to execute my master plan, but unfortunately my schedule didn't align with hers that day, unusual for that day, so unfortunately I had to wait until Wednesday to execute my plan. Wednesday finally comes, the whole day I feel like I'm short on breath and it feels like I'm going through a roller coaster the whole time. I see her at lunch and I know that this is my chance. Me and my friends walk up to our class, SM's at her locker, getting her stuff. I made a fuss about me not having my book, so I turned to SM, just across the classroom and asked,
"Hey SM, do you have a book I can borrow?" She smiled and said she was sorry that she didn't have one. First plan was foiled, but I was still determined to make something out of this. At the end of the day, I saw her walking to her car, so I catch up with her and go along the lines of "Hey SM, thanks again! For... nothing." She just gave a little laugh. Then I start botching things up. I ask if she likes ice cream... She just shrugged. Then going off that, I ask what her favorite flavor is, with the reply of vanilla. Finally I asked her what she had 2nd period tomorrow from that day. I said goodbye and left off with my insides blowing fireworks inside and my heart pounding, mostly to the fact that this is the first time I talked to her in years.
Fast forward to today, I start having butterflies and thoughts like "Shit... she probably doesn't even remember my name." But I thought, I got this far, I should at least carry out the rest of my stupid plan. Lunchtime swings by, and I go up to her classroom with my friends again to get her the ice cream I got during my free period. At this point, I get some retarded though like "Fuck, what if the ice cream's already melted?" My friend told me to open it real quick to make sure it wasn't all melted and gooey inside, then says he'll eat it if it is. We check, and apparently the bowl is made to contain the cold inside, so my friend is disheartened by this. One of my friends pipe up, "Hey you need a follow up to this ice cream, put a note in there or something, ask her out on a date." I think, oh shit, this is going fast for me. But I do write up a notecard.. this time asking if she liked coffee. Retarded questions concerning food, that's the best I can come up with haha.
Anyway, luckily she sits right next to the door, so I only had to open it and say her name real quick to get her attention. I held the bag toward her, and she's reallly confused by this. She asks what the bag was, and I just reply ice cream. She just says thanks slowly and takes the ice cream, then I get the hell outta there, feeling flustered.
I dunno if I did well. I set myself up for another play with the notecard, but I'm so afraid that she just won't reply to me at all or that she's creeped out by now. I'm really glad I didn't take my other friend's advice of putting my number on the notecard. If you can't notice by now, I'm bad at this stuff since I have no experience since my balls apparently haven't grown fully yet. I really don't want to botch this up, since I've liked this girl for almost 2 years now. I have no follow up plan, do I message her over facebook asking the answer to my notecard question? Direct contact? I don't even know what I'd begin thinking of saying to her. My hearts been pounding the whole day with the not so significant events that took place.
Any tips?
 
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dont message her over facebook. Approach her tomorrow and do small talk, hopefully she brings up the card and since its friday ask if she wants to go for a bite to eat or a movie since its friday.
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This is the story of my life.
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I hate to be this guy, but you're going to college dude, and she's not. Best case scenario, you get to spend a few months with her. I just don't think it's worth it.
Not to suggest you can't try to hang out with her, or maybe go on a coffee date or something, but I don't think it's a good idea to look for anything more than a friendship, simply due to the timing with college and all.
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United States22883 Posts
Speak to her in words, in real life. "Sorry for the weird ice cream and notecard thing yesterday. I just wanted to know if you'd like to see a movie with me, and I was too embarrassed to ask you."
Throw in a compliment or two if you want. Don't overdo it. If she says yes, you could make a joke about having more ice cream in your unmarked black van, 'cause that was kind of weird.
If she says no, it's really not as bad as it seems before hand. You'll feel a ton of pressure lifted off you no matter the outcome.
On June 07 2013 15:13 ClysmiC wrote:
I hate to be this guy, but you're going to college dude, and she's not. Best case scenario, you get to spend a few months with her. I just don't think it's worth it.
Not to suggest you can't try to hang out with her, or maybe go on a coffee date or something, but I don't think it's a good idea to look for anything more than a friendship, simply due to the timing with college and all.
It's high school. Perfectly fine to go on dates and expect nothing serious. Don't just settle for trying to be her friend, though. Go for the glory.
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Stop being a pansy and ask properly.
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As the other guys said, just speak to her in person. It'll feel great to finally let it out there, and worst case scenario she isn't interested, you move on. Better that than to be wondering "what if?" later on.
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Sounds like you elevated too quickly, desperation.
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TLADT24920 Posts
Speak to her! If anything, these acts which even you said seem odd will look the same to her. If you talk to her soon and ask her out, then whether she accepts or not will at least lift the burden that you feel and you'll have no regrets moving forward. Things will be feel better regardless of the outcome so do it! lol
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Next time instead of buying someone icecream to fetch it to them in class, ask them to come eat icecream with you. Like, at a cafe or something.
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Hey, im an older awkward guy, so i just want to say good job having the balls to do this, but it will be way less scary if you just calm down and think realistically. What kind of person is she? Does she even want this kind of dating right now? Or like, is she on a diet that makes her prefer not to have ice cream? Do you realize that your note strongly implies that you're going to buy her coffee for no apparent reason? is she afraid to hurt your feelings? Are you really ready to hear that she is not interested in you and is it worth it to continue if she says that?
I think for inexperienced peeps, it can be good to go for that one person who really floats your boat but i think its good to remember that she's not the only person out there. Also ,you ask TL how to "follow up" as if its a game of starcraft. While i agree that it does end up being like this a lot of the time, i don't think that's where a go od relationship starts personally. I think you ought to care about getting to know that person more than winning her over. just my opinion.
In regards to what do you do after this? TBH, the move you pulled could have done some damage. She didn't give you any clear signs and yet you came on strong and you inflicted potential emotional/social strain via awkwardness. She might have liked it too, idk. I think facebookis an ok idea in this case because if she wants to be blunt with you, that will make it easier. Real life will make it harder to be blunt, but if shes the type of person who censors herself to be more "nice" then she might just bottle shit up and start to hate you...
Anyways, good job going for it man. that took courage and its a step in the right direction. Have fun.
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Don't worry too much dude, I'm 25 and I still experience much of the same anxiety when talking to a girl I really like. The good news is that if you fail a bunch of times it will be so much easier the next time you like someone. You'll hate yourself a lot more if you do nothing than if she turns you down. It's kind of like ladder anxiety, "More gg more skill" the more times you try and fail the more chances you have at success, and the better you will get at playing the game in the long run. And hey, maybe you'll get a date! I'd agree that face to face is almost always better.
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Naming the girl SM greatly confused me for a few minutes.
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Yikes, this is super awkward.
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On June 08 2013 14:19 Ryalnos wrote:
Yikes, this is super awkward.
Could you elaborate please? My actions are super awkward or this blog is? Or both?
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United States22883 Posts
On June 08 2013 14:39 freeshooter wrote:Could you elaborate please? My actions are super awkward or this blog is? Or both?
Asking her about ice cream and then buying it for her without telling her. It'd be less awkward if she had brought up the ice cream first, but with you doing it... it's kind of like bribing her before you've even asked anything.
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Blazinghand
United States25551 Posts
So? Did she say yes? Did you end up going to coffee with her, and did your balls become fully grown? I'm dying to know!
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United States12607 Posts
8/10 Girl Blog
man, you need to stop sweating the details and focus on what is actually happening. you are worried about ice cream melting and an elaborate plan to talk to this person. just say hey. nothing matters except getting into any conversation. there's no "trick" that will help you "win". she doesn't care about the ice cream or whatever happened to date.
read Jibba and relax. call her and ask for a date. do something simple and just hang out. everything will come naturally from there.
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Its nice that you tried and initiated contact, but imo, i'd just cut my losses here and stop. A lot of guys will tell you to "go for it" and "stop being a pussy" but i think the signs that the girl has shown you so far have all been negative. If a guy that a girl likes buys her ice cream pretty randomly or even starts talking to her, she'd normally at least smile and look happy, not look awkward as hell.
Point is, you tried man, but unless you really cannot live without this girl or something, just stop. The fact that you tried this means you aren't a pussy. But i really don't think this girl is interested in you, maybe not even as a friend.
I may be wrong, but if im right, the sooner you get over this, the faster you can look at other girls
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EPT
wanna go x y z"
