I don't know girls - Page 3

Doodsmack

United States7224 Posts

April 30 2013 04:38 GMT

#41

On April 30 2013 10:59 obesechicken13 wrote:
I kind of stopped talking to people on POF for the same reason as doodsmack. No one responded well, and often times it seemed girls were only there to look for big dicked guys with ripped bodies.

Also sometimes I get worried that once I start dating I won't have time to write programs anymore or do anything big in my life. That I'll just soon have kids and not have enough time for anything. But then I waste time on games so maybe it'd be best.

I'd say you'd still have time for lots of other things. And there's definitely no need to have kids soon. At least I don't intend to. IMO girls shouldn't be sacrificed from our lives for the sake of anything else.

JimmyJRaynor

Canada17008 Posts

April 30 2013 13:48 GMT

#42

On April 30 2013 01:40 Doodsmack wrote:

Show nested quote +

On April 29 2013 15:16 Shakattak wrote:

On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote:
So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.

Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.

Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.

Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.

fuck online dating...
meet women through the regular course of your every day life.
you see a girl you think is hot... who you meet....
say so in a nice dignified way...

a se nior software developer// programming book author i've worked with a lot over the past 5 years has a younger sister, "Melissa"... who is abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous.
in a weird coincidence she does some office admin work with my #1 customer.

we exchanged several polite "hellos and goodbyes" and chatted in the cafeteria with the standard small talk....
you know... "bad traffic" ... "winter lasting too long.." etc.

after several of these exchanges and her familiarity and comfort level with me increasing...
i'd decided it is time to move in....i decided within the next 3 or 4 encounters it was time to increase my "level of authenticity".

during some "girl talk" that abruptly ended once i entered the cafeteria ... i could tell "Melissa" and her uber hot pal were complaining about dumb guys harassing them...

they stopped the second i entered...
directing my comment at "Melissa" i said...

"i realize it can be annoying.. but lemme tell ya, Melissa,.. after seeing you...i think most atheists would have a hard time not believing in God".

that is how to tell a woman she is fucking gorgeous without being rude. no need to say "nice ass"...etc.

further information about how crappy online dating is.
women are attracted to men from numerous sensory methods... men are primarily visual... this is why online dating sucks so bad.
smell plays an important role for women... the average height of male and female also facilitate this...none of this can be communicated through "online dating".

also, when i get turned down by a woman in a "real situation".. and i am dignified and polite throughout it all...
even remaining totally polite and civilized after the rejection.... and "carrying forward"...
her female pals fucking swarm me with "fix up girls" for me to meet.

quit twisting your mind into pretzels of rationalization with all this "self analysis" and just live your life dude.

Plansix

United States60190 Posts

April 30 2013 17:45 GMT

#43

On April 30 2013 22:48 JimmyJRaynor wrote:

Show nested quote +

On April 30 2013 01:40 Doodsmack wrote:

On April 29 2013 15:16 Shakattak wrote:

Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.

Jimmy J Raynor: telling you how it is and how to live your life.

As someone who has gone on a long line of terrible, terrible dates, the key is to keep dating and kinda not care if it works out or not.(clearly you care, but do not "over care) Try not to get invested before you know what your getting into. Treat dating like gambling, because it has bad odds. Be prepared to walk away at any point during that trial period.

Also, treat online dating like what it is, a low barrier of entry way to meet people. Just remember that the majority of people you meet on the street hold no interest to you and you don't want to meet them. The same goes with online dating. In that vast sea of creepers and un-dateable women, there is one or two people that are like you. Take it with a grain of salt and be ready to leave it at a moment's notice.

Recognizable

Netherlands1552 Posts

April 30 2013 20:27 GMT

#44

On April 30 2013 10:59 obesechicken13 wrote:
I kind of stopped talking to people on POF for the same reason as doodsmack. No one responded well, and often times it seemed girls were only there to look for big dicked guys with ripped bodies.

Also sometimes I get worried that once I start dating I won't have time to write programs anymore or do anything big in my life. That I'll just soon have kids and not have enough time for anything. But then I waste time on games so maybe it'd be best.

You could work on this tho. Well. The ripped body part. http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=261928

Doodsmack

United States7224 Posts

May 04 2013 07:27 GMT

#45

Gonna have to ask for the internet's opinion on this one. I want to know whether my brother in law cock blocked me. I'm kinda pissed and my impression is that he did. So we were out with some of the same girls mentioned in my OP, except the engaged girl was not there. We didn't actually meet them until later in the night, at the last bar we went to. So, I was talking to one of them one on one for most of the time at that bar. It was very clear we were talking to each other and I'm just about sure she was into me. My brother in law was there too of course. So when we walk out of that bar after they close, we're kind of standing there getting our bikes and figuring out where to go. My brother in law seems to start flirting with the girl I was talking to, by offering her his hoodie because it was cold and making comments about her midriff. If I remember right he said something like "I need to follow my hoodie and your midriff" (may not have been quite that direct but it was very similar). We went back to the girls' house and my brother in law came along and was basically talking it up, and made many more comments about her midriff. Mind you, my sister and he live not too far away, and they have a 6 month old child. He basically was out with AFTER the bars closed even though my sister was home alone sleeping. It kinda seemed like he was playing out a fantasy of picking up girls like back in his single days.

Now, it turned out this other guy came to the house of the girl I had been talking to, and it may have been that he was coming for her, I really don't know. So it may be that I didn't have a chance with this girl in the end, but the question remains whether my brother in law was out of line. There pretty much could be no good reason for him to offer her his hoodie and comment on her midriff, right? Is it not a big deal that he did so in that situation?

JWD

United States12607 Posts

May 12 2013 09:49 GMT

#46

On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote:
She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.

now this is something I can associate with. I think the most positive reaction you can have is to imagine that one day you may be engaged, drunk, and in search of food with someone else and you'd also not want to come off as lecherous. just keep your "LOL. the fuck man." to yourself (or TL) and you come out of the situation with a good story, at minimum.

about checking for rings: I feel you. yes, apparently you are at that age, and it's a safe thing to do. someone spent good money on that ring so it could save you an awkward moment. this is much easier said than done, of course.

dravernor

Netherlands6190 Posts

May 12 2013 15:29 GMT

#47

JWD is the king of girl blogs, he and Torte de Lini should run a counselling service, for reals. Anyway, OP I do think it was just some harmless flirting that left you feeling confused. There is no need to feel bad because they were mixed signals she was giving you and you knew when to stop.
I guess don't place too much importance on dating at the moment - just look to become friends with a female. From there let it progress.
I shouldn't be giving advice really, I have terrible issues of my own in that department. >_<

JimmyJRaynor

Canada17008 Posts

May 13 2013 19:43 GMT

#48

it is so easy to get girls' numbers when the Leafs are on a big playoff run

and its actually fun too.

Thrill

2599 Posts

May 13 2013 21:09 GMT

#49

On May 04 2013 16:27 Doodsmack wrote:
Gonna have to ask for the internet's opinion on this one. I want to know whether my brother in law cock blocked me. I'm kinda pissed and my impression is that he did. So we were out with some of the same girls mentioned in my OP, except the engaged girl was not there. We didn't actually meet them until later in the night, at the last bar we went to. So, I was talking to one of them one on one for most of the time at that bar. It was very clear we were talking to each other and I'm just about sure she was into me. My brother in law was there too of course. So when we walk out of that bar after they close, we're kind of standing there getting our bikes and figuring out where to go. My brother in law seems to start flirting with the girl I was talking to, by offering her his hoodie because it was cold and making comments about her midriff. If I remember right he said something like "I need to follow my hoodie and your midriff" (may not have been quite that direct but it was very similar). We went back to the girls' house and my brother in law came along and was basically talking it up, and made many more comments about her midriff. Mind you, my sister and he live not too far away, and they have a 6 month old child. He basically was out with AFTER the bars closed even though my sister was home alone sleeping. It kinda seemed like he was playing out a fantasy of picking up girls like back in his single days.

Now, it turned out this other guy came to the house of the girl I had been talking to, and it may have been that he was coming for her, I really don't know. So it may be that I didn't have a chance with this girl in the end, but the question remains whether my brother in law was out of line. There pretty much could be no good reason for him to offer her his hoodie and comment on her midriff, right? Is it not a big deal that he did so in that situation?

Say "midriff" again.

FractalsOnFire

Australia1756 Posts

May 14 2013 10:38 GMT

#50

On May 13 2013 00:29 DragonLord wrote:
JWD is the king of girl blogs, he and Torte de Lini should run a counselling service, for reals. Anyway, OP I do think it was just some harmless flirting that left you feeling confused. There is no need to feel bad because they were mixed signals she was giving you and you knew when to stop.
I guess don't place too much importance on dating at the moment - just look to become friends with a female. From there let it progress.
I shouldn't be giving advice really, I have terrible issues of my own in that department. >_<

Er what? JWD and TDL? They hardly ever post in girl blogs. I've only seen JWD post recently. If anyone should, it should be QuanticHawk and maybe OpShot though i don't agree with his advice sometimes. But most of his advice is on point and where are his K-Drama scripts, i miss those.

Oh and your brother in law seems like a dick. Just sayin'. Are you close to him? Cause a bro should know better not to mention he's got a kid and wife. Of course i'm only speculating from your perspective maybe there's more behind it that i'm missing.

Doodsmack

United States7224 Posts

May 15 2013 20:51 GMT

#51

Had a date last night from okc. She wasnt as good looking as her pictures. She seemed shy too which makes it tough...but I think I did a decent job of keeping a conversation up though. Don't think there were any 3 second silences...maybe. The conversation wasn't particularly funny or engaging though. I also should have complimented her at least once. I kind of asked generic questions about her or just generic topics...but then that topic would die off quickly and I'd have to just switch gears. The conversation definitely struggled along at times...and I would feel like some of the stuff leaving my mouth was really lame and forced. But still, at the end we hugged and said let's hang out again soon.

With this girl I think we both knew that we're the shy nice type, so it wasn't so bad that the conversation wasn't real engaging. She was just kind of nervously getting her way through the date maybe. I just wish I could be funny and have a great, flowing conversation with the type of girl that's outgoing and expects great, skilled conversation. I think I might have it in me, but self-consciousness and not being "in the moment" holds it back. I don't want to be quiet...it's really lame. I kinda feel like I would need a lot more experience to have dynamic and funny conversation with a girl. Some people just do that like its nothing.

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