So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Yeah... she was definitely a bit too flirty for a girl with a ring on it. Then again, lots of engaged people want to squeeze in as many nights like the one you described before they get hitched. And she did let you know at the end she was engaged, so she didn't string you along all that much. At least you had fun chasing the dog? :D
I don't think you need any mentality of making something happen though. That tends to make things worse. You seem pretty well adjusted to women. The right one will come along sooner or later. Just put yourself out there to meet new people, but don't try too hard to close the deal with every cute girl that you run into.
I don t wanna say anything bad about the girl, but my interpretation was that she wanted to "do something with you that night" , she was looking for an adventure only for that night.
"wanna get some food" wanna do something with you tonight
I mean how could she fail to mention she was engaged till she was at her door? or she just wanted to flirt harmesly, without actually doing anything
"never did look to see if she had a ring" prolly never had it on for the night
anyways even if i would suggest against going with a woman who allready has a man. Its a douchbag move.
Being introduced makes it all the much easier but i know what you mean. Kinda difficult to make a move outta the blue if you have difficulty with that. Its a long road up from here, but the problem seems to be the ice-breaker. Work on that and you ll be fine. Its not easy but it will be rewarding
Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
On April 27 2013 17:12 Kuni wrote: Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
On April 27 2013 17:12 Kuni wrote: Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
I would imagine that it is very different in the United States, where such things are normally frowned upon.
On April 27 2013 17:12 Kuni wrote: Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
I would imagine that it is very different in the United States, where such things are normally frowned upon.
Yea, we have to stupid outlook on this. They were actually talking about it on the radio the other day and it was pretty much commonly accepted that if you're a girl you can't be very nice or it's expected that you want to hook up.
On April 27 2013 17:12 Kuni wrote: Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
I would imagine that it is very different in the United States, where such things are normally frowned upon.
Yea, we have to stupid outlook on this. They were actually talking about it on the radio the other day and it was pretty much commonly accepted that if you're a girl you can't be very nice or it's expected that you want to hook up.
In our country physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are assumed to be one and the same (for some weird reason).
On April 27 2013 17:12 Kuni wrote: Girls tend to get in closer contact with nice guys they want to be friends with. Many female friends of mine were very "attached" to us, a friend of mine and me, who used to hang out a lot with this group of girls, and they were always kissing, hugging, going for cuddles etc. and we were only friends, nothing more. Hanging out at night, grabbing or making food or whatever, is not really unusual for friends, is it? Women don't always wanna fuck you like mad, when they talk to you. You know, they also want to make friends, like everybody else.
yeah sure bro everyone knows that a girl saying she is hungry after a night of drinking code for 'i want a huge slab of meat between my buns'
Reading my OP again, it may not be completely accurate. It's not like we were flirting and talking the whole night. We went to a second bar and there, she was kinda talking to other people and not me. Only once we realized we're neighbors and she was asking where we could eat, when there very clearly is no place to go at that hour where we live, did I think to ask her to my place. And then her hugging me before I asked for a number, combined with everything else, led me to believe she was single. But really, I have no clue lol. There are a lot of times in my life where I'm just thinking "What the fuck is going on right now". Do you guys have that thought too?
On April 28 2013 04:42 Doodsmack wrote: Reading my OP again, it may not be completely accurate. It's not like we were flirting and talking the whole night. We went to a second bar and there, she was kinda talking to other people and not me. Only once we realized we're neighbors and she was asking where we could eat, when there very clearly is no place to go at that hour where we live, did I think to ask her to my place. And then her hugging me before I asked for a number, combined with everything else, led me to believe she was single. But really, I have no clue lol. There are a lot of times in my life where I'm just thinking "What the fuck is going on right now". Do you guys have that thought too?
You're overthinking things. You mistook the girl as being attracted to you and she wasn't. It happens to a lot of people.
On April 28 2013 04:42 Doodsmack wrote: Reading my OP again, it may not be completely accurate. It's not like we were flirting and talking the whole night. We went to a second bar and there, she was kinda talking to other people and not me. Only once we realized we're neighbors and she was asking where we could eat, when there very clearly is no place to go at that hour where we live, did I think to ask her to my place. And then her hugging me before I asked for a number, combined with everything else, led me to believe she was single. But really, I have no clue lol. There are a lot of times in my life where I'm just thinking "What the fuck is going on right now". Do you guys have that thought too?
It doesn't seem like you're doing anything wrong. As long as you don't try to jump girls in public or make very aggressive advances without knowing if they're taken, you're fine. If anything, I'd still blame this girl for leading you on to an extent. Mis-communication like this happens a lot, and all you need to do is keep doing what you're doing; put yourself out there, react to opportunities, but don't awkwardly force stuff to happen, and you'll get plenty of chances to start dating women.
i just assume they're all not interested in me, but then flirt/pursue them anyway. then it's not disappointing when they are actually not interested, and it's a nive surprise when they are.
Tonight I approached one girl. She was making eye contact. She turned out to be too hammered to form intelligible sentences. Lol it was literally like, wow you just made eye contact multiple times but now you just give one word answers. If even that. Started to talk to another girl but then the guy she was with came up. This is solid progress I think. I need to get more excited about progress I make. I have a very self-deprecating and pessimistic mindset. That probably is the main habit I need to kill.
Only played one game of Starcraft today and was then hanging out with people. Even though I still love Starcraft. In fact I am going to play right now.
On April 28 2013 03:51 Darkren wrote: She probably just wanted a one night stand with you ( AKA just SEX) and nothing else.
Don't think only men cheat, girls do it as much.
It's interesting that people tend to think that guys are insanely cheaty, when it's just as many women aswell. Remember, it takes both sides to get to it lol.
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
the biggest thing that made my fear and shyness "go away" was from having my heart ripped out of my chest and stomped on by a couple of girls. once you've gone from ZERO to HERO and then back to ZERO again ... a few times in your life.... you became less afraid.
also, paying rent ... doing ur own laundry and cooking your own meals puts things into perspective as well.
if a woman likes you she'll make it obvious.. if u think it takes some super special uber micro amazing 1-liners to convince an uninterested woman.. u r "analyzing to hard".
just let it happen... let nature takes it course... if it were difficult the world's population would be a lot lower.
as it stands.. humans are multiplying like rabbits... somebody has gotta be doin some fuckin somewhere.
On April 29 2013 03:39 Thrill wrote: You don't hover-hand so you'll be fine. Just keep going out and don't just talk to friends of friends.
Lol nice find.
The guy who I was with Friday seems to be really good with girls. And they look good too. Seeing him having multiple FWB makes me really and kinda pissed. And kinda gives me a feeling that I'm determined to find some fucking girls.
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
On April 29 2013 03:39 Thrill wrote: You don't hover-hand so you'll be fine. Just keep going out and don't just talk to friends of friends.
Lol nice find.
The guy who I was with Friday seems to be really good with girls. And they look good too. Seeing him having multiple FWB makes me really and kinda pissed. And kinda gives me a feeling that I'm determined to find some fucking girls.
Maybe I'll update this thread with my progress.
girls wanna have sex as much as we do , i have been a nerd my entire life that coupled with my aspergers should of made it hard to find girls . except i got my first kiss when i was 6 from this girl i used to play with at 15 i had sex and i did plenty of shit before that. i am serious when i say talk to them that is the most important thing ever be genuinely interested ask them sbout themselves a little trial and error man don't worry about it you will find what works for you . you may not have a ton of FWB and truth be told sometimes those dont work exactly the way you would like .
On April 28 2013 04:42 Doodsmack wrote: Reading my OP again, it may not be completely accurate. It's not like we were flirting and talking the whole night. We went to a second bar and there, she was kinda talking to other people and not me. Only once we realized we're neighbors and she was asking where we could eat, when there very clearly is no place to go at that hour where we live, did I think to ask her to my place. And then her hugging me before I asked for a number, combined with everything else, led me to believe she was single. But really, I have no clue lol. There are a lot of times in my life where I'm just thinking "What the fuck is going on right now". Do you guys have that thought too?
haha every guy ever has had this issue, it is culturally based mostly . girls are raised to be more affectionate( generally) they also express themselves through touch more then guys do ( also generally) . I have a fucking retarded roommate that thinks whenever a girl touches his arm in the club that she wants the D hard as fuck all the time . every time that has happened it was to move him out of the way and she never gave him a second look. though that being said every time he goes out with us he does get there attention but only because he is so confident in himself that he goes right up and like i said before talks to her thats the main thing disregard touch completely at first .
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.
1 out of 20 response rate? you should try applying to jobs lol. it'll make your dating life feel much more successful
all jokes aside, you really shouldn't worry about not getting many replies. just keep meeting new people, but dont expect them all to be interested in you. cuz really, are you interested in all the people you meet? maybe 1 out of 20? and if, on average, other people have the same ratio of interest as you do, then you can see how low successful matches are. stay postitive and have fun!
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.
1 out of 20 response rate? you should try applying to jobs lol. it'll make your dating life feel much more successful
all jokes aside, you really shouldn't worry about not getting many replies. just keep meeting new people, but dont expect them all to be interested in you. cuz really, are you interested in all the people you meet? maybe 1 out of 20? and if, on average, other people have the same ratio of interest as you do, then you can see how low successful matches are. stay postitive and have fun!
Exactly what this guy said OP, just have fun with it all you need to do is enjoy yourself just send out tons and tons of messages to different people if 1/20 people respond change how you are introducing yourself . some girls just want a guy to ask them about their day just listen , as long as they are talking about themselves you're on the right track !
I kind of stopped talking to people on POF for the same reason as doodsmack. No one responded well, and often times it seemed girls were only there to look for big dicked guys with ripped bodies.
Also sometimes I get worried that once I start dating I won't have time to write programs anymore or do anything big in my life. That I'll just soon have kids and not have enough time for anything. But then I waste time on games so maybe it'd be best.
On April 30 2013 10:59 obesechicken13 wrote: I kind of stopped talking to people on POF for the same reason as doodsmack. No one responded well, and often times it seemed girls were only there to look for big dicked guys with ripped bodies.
Also sometimes I get worried that once I start dating I won't have time to write programs anymore or do anything big in my life. That I'll just soon have kids and not have enough time for anything. But then I waste time on games so maybe it'd be best.
I'd say you'd still have time for lots of other things. And there's definitely no need to have kids soon. At least I don't intend to. IMO girls shouldn't be sacrificed from our lives for the sake of anything else.
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.
fuck online dating... meet women through the regular course of your every day life. you see a girl you think is hot... who you meet.... say so in a nice dignified way...
a se nior software developer// programming book author i've worked with a lot over the past 5 years has a younger sister, "Melissa"... who is abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. in a weird coincidence she does some office admin work with my #1 customer.
we exchanged several polite "hellos and goodbyes" and chatted in the cafeteria with the standard small talk.... you know... "bad traffic" ... "winter lasting too long.." etc.
after several of these exchanges and her familiarity and comfort level with me increasing... i'd decided it is time to move in....i decided within the next 3 or 4 encounters it was time to increase my "level of authenticity".
during some "girl talk" that abruptly ended once i entered the cafeteria ... i could tell "Melissa" and her uber hot pal were complaining about dumb guys harassing them...
they stopped the second i entered... directing my comment at "Melissa" i said...
"i realize it can be annoying.. but lemme tell ya, Melissa,.. after seeing you...i think most atheists would have a hard time not believing in God".
that is how to tell a woman she is fucking gorgeous without being rude. no need to say "nice ass"...etc.
further information about how crappy online dating is. women are attracted to men from numerous sensory methods... men are primarily visual... this is why online dating sucks so bad. smell plays an important role for women... the average height of male and female also facilitate this...none of this can be communicated through "online dating".
also, when i get turned down by a woman in a "real situation".. and i am dignified and polite throughout it all... even remaining totally polite and civilized after the rejection.... and "carrying forward"... her female pals fucking swarm me with "fix up girls" for me to meet.
quit twisting your mind into pretzels of rationalization with all this "self analysis" and just live your life dude.
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: So tonight, I go to a bar along with a friend who was meeting up with his girl, who has two pretty good-looking friends with her. I talk to the one throughout the night. I guess it was just normal conversation, but there was some teasing from me and physical contact from her. On the cab ride home it turns she lives right across the street. She was saying she was hungry and then was like "let's good food, where are we gonna get food." I tell her I could make something at my place. We end up chasing her neighbors dog around who was out in the street. So we end up in front of her door and she says something like "we each have food". She smiles and hugs me. I say let's hang out again and get her number. She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
Anyways. Played video games too much in life and missed out on girls. Need to make something happen. It's the approach I'm afraid of though. In this case I was introduced so it was easier. That's an incredible fear to get over, if you have it. Shyness is a bitch. It's a long road up from here, boys. Need to find some major motivation.
Have you tried online dAting ? i have Aspergers syndrome and i find a lot of females and people in general unbearable . i have had quite a bit of success with okcupid and pof. you dont have to deal with that coy bullshit and if being shy is your problem chatting through your monitor may be easier. talking about subjects that you both are interested in really allows you to not have to worry about the mine field of conversing with a woman you already will know what she likes and you guys know what you have in common so when you meet her just be yourself and just TALK to her.
Yeah I've tried online, my problem is getting responses. I've gotten 2 dates out of it. But I get like a 5-10% response rate.
fuck online dating... meet women through the regular course of your every day life. you see a girl you think is hot... who you meet.... say so in a nice dignified way...
a se nior software developer// programming book author i've worked with a lot over the past 5 years has a younger sister, "Melissa"... who is abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. in a weird coincidence she does some office admin work with my #1 customer.
we exchanged several polite "hellos and goodbyes" and chatted in the cafeteria with the standard small talk.... you know... "bad traffic" ... "winter lasting too long.." etc.
after several of these exchanges and her familiarity and comfort level with me increasing... i'd decided it is time to move in....i decided within the next 3 or 4 encounters it was time to increase my "level of authenticity".
during some "girl talk" that abruptly ended once i entered the cafeteria ... i could tell "Melissa" and her uber hot pal were complaining about dumb guys harassing them...
they stopped the second i entered... directing my comment at "Melissa" i said...
"i realize it can be annoying.. but lemme tell ya, Melissa,.. after seeing you...i think most atheists would have a hard time not believing in God".
that is how to tell a woman she is fucking gorgeous without being rude. no need to say "nice ass"...etc.
further information about how crappy online dating is. women are attracted to men from numerous sensory methods... men are primarily visual... this is why online dating sucks so bad. smell plays an important role for women... the average height of male and female also facilitate this...none of this can be communicated through "online dating".
also, when i get turned down by a woman in a "real situation".. and i am dignified and polite throughout it all... even remaining totally polite and civilized after the rejection.... and "carrying forward"... her female pals fucking swarm me with "fix up girls" for me to meet.
quit twisting your mind into pretzels of rationalization with all this "self analysis" and just live your life dude.
Jimmy J Raynor: telling you how it is and how to live your life.
As someone who has gone on a long line of terrible, terrible dates, the key is to keep dating and kinda not care if it works out or not.(clearly you care, but do not "over care) Try not to get invested before you know what your getting into. Treat dating like gambling, because it has bad odds. Be prepared to walk away at any point during that trial period.
Also, treat online dating like what it is, a low barrier of entry way to meet people. Just remember that the majority of people you meet on the street hold no interest to you and you don't want to meet them. The same goes with online dating. In that vast sea of creepers and un-dateable women, there is one or two people that are like you. Take it with a grain of salt and be ready to leave it at a moment's notice.
On April 30 2013 10:59 obesechicken13 wrote: I kind of stopped talking to people on POF for the same reason as doodsmack. No one responded well, and often times it seemed girls were only there to look for big dicked guys with ripped bodies.
Also sometimes I get worried that once I start dating I won't have time to write programs anymore or do anything big in my life. That I'll just soon have kids and not have enough time for anything. But then I waste time on games so maybe it'd be best.
Gonna have to ask for the internet's opinion on this one. I want to know whether my brother in law cock blocked me. I'm kinda pissed and my impression is that he did. So we were out with some of the same girls mentioned in my OP, except the engaged girl was not there. We didn't actually meet them until later in the night, at the last bar we went to. So, I was talking to one of them one on one for most of the time at that bar. It was very clear we were talking to each other and I'm just about sure she was into me. My brother in law was there too of course. So when we walk out of that bar after they close, we're kind of standing there getting our bikes and figuring out where to go. My brother in law seems to start flirting with the girl I was talking to, by offering her his hoodie because it was cold and making comments about her midriff. If I remember right he said something like "I need to follow my hoodie and your midriff" (may not have been quite that direct but it was very similar). We went back to the girls' house and my brother in law came along and was basically talking it up, and made many more comments about her midriff. Mind you, my sister and he live not too far away, and they have a 6 month old child. He basically was out with AFTER the bars closed even though my sister was home alone sleeping. It kinda seemed like he was playing out a fantasy of picking up girls like back in his single days.
Now, it turned out this other guy came to the house of the girl I had been talking to, and it may have been that he was coming for her, I really don't know. So it may be that I didn't have a chance with this girl in the end, but the question remains whether my brother in law was out of line. There pretty much could be no good reason for him to offer her his hoodie and comment on her midriff, right? Is it not a big deal that he did so in that situation?
On April 27 2013 15:31 Doodsmack wrote: She gives me her number and then says she's engaged so she doesn't want me to get the wrong message LOL. The fuck man. How do I distinguish between that and when a girl is actually interested? Guess you pretty much have to guess and hope for the best. Never did look to see if she has a ring. Maybe I'm at the age I should do that.
now this is something I can associate with. I think the most positive reaction you can have is to imagine that one day you may be engaged, drunk, and in search of food with someone else and you'd also not want to come off as lecherous. just keep your "LOL. the fuck man." to yourself (or TL) and you come out of the situation with a good story, at minimum.
about checking for rings: I feel you. yes, apparently you are at that age, and it's a safe thing to do. someone spent good money on that ring so it could save you an awkward moment. this is much easier said than done, of course.
JWD is the king of girl blogs, he and Torte de Lini should run a counselling service, for reals. Anyway, OP I do think it was just some harmless flirting that left you feeling confused. There is no need to feel bad because they were mixed signals she was giving you and you knew when to stop. I guess don't place too much importance on dating at the moment - just look to become friends with a female. From there let it progress. I shouldn't be giving advice really, I have terrible issues of my own in that department. >_<
On May 04 2013 16:27 Doodsmack wrote: Gonna have to ask for the internet's opinion on this one. I want to know whether my brother in law cock blocked me. I'm kinda pissed and my impression is that he did. So we were out with some of the same girls mentioned in my OP, except the engaged girl was not there. We didn't actually meet them until later in the night, at the last bar we went to. So, I was talking to one of them one on one for most of the time at that bar. It was very clear we were talking to each other and I'm just about sure she was into me. My brother in law was there too of course. So when we walk out of that bar after they close, we're kind of standing there getting our bikes and figuring out where to go. My brother in law seems to start flirting with the girl I was talking to, by offering her his hoodie because it was cold and making comments about her midriff. If I remember right he said something like "I need to follow my hoodie and your midriff" (may not have been quite that direct but it was very similar). We went back to the girls' house and my brother in law came along and was basically talking it up, and made many more comments about her midriff. Mind you, my sister and he live not too far away, and they have a 6 month old child. He basically was out with AFTER the bars closed even though my sister was home alone sleeping. It kinda seemed like he was playing out a fantasy of picking up girls like back in his single days.
Now, it turned out this other guy came to the house of the girl I had been talking to, and it may have been that he was coming for her, I really don't know. So it may be that I didn't have a chance with this girl in the end, but the question remains whether my brother in law was out of line. There pretty much could be no good reason for him to offer her his hoodie and comment on her midriff, right? Is it not a big deal that he did so in that situation?
On May 13 2013 00:29 DragonLord wrote: JWD is the king of girl blogs, he and Torte de Lini should run a counselling service, for reals. Anyway, OP I do think it was just some harmless flirting that left you feeling confused. There is no need to feel bad because they were mixed signals she was giving you and you knew when to stop. I guess don't place too much importance on dating at the moment - just look to become friends with a female. From there let it progress. I shouldn't be giving advice really, I have terrible issues of my own in that department. >_<
Er what? JWD and TDL? They hardly ever post in girl blogs. I've only seen JWD post recently. If anyone should, it should be QuanticHawk and maybe OpShot though i don't agree with his advice sometimes. But most of his advice is on point and where are his K-Drama scripts, i miss those.
Oh and your brother in law seems like a dick. Just sayin'. Are you close to him? Cause a bro should know better not to mention he's got a kid and wife. Of course i'm only speculating from your perspective maybe there's more behind it that i'm missing.
Had a date last night from okc. She wasnt as good looking as her pictures. She seemed shy too which makes it tough...but I think I did a decent job of keeping a conversation up though. Don't think there were any 3 second silences...maybe. The conversation wasn't particularly funny or engaging though. I also should have complimented her at least once. I kind of asked generic questions about her or just generic topics...but then that topic would die off quickly and I'd have to just switch gears. The conversation definitely struggled along at times...and I would feel like some of the stuff leaving my mouth was really lame and forced. But still, at the end we hugged and said let's hang out again soon.
With this girl I think we both knew that we're the shy nice type, so it wasn't so bad that the conversation wasn't real engaging. She was just kind of nervously getting her way through the date maybe. I just wish I could be funny and have a great, flowing conversation with the type of girl that's outgoing and expects great, skilled conversation. I think I might have it in me, but self-consciousness and not being "in the moment" holds it back. I don't want to be quiet...it's really lame. I kinda feel like I would need a lot more experience to have dynamic and funny conversation with a girl. Some people just do that like its nothing.