EPTOf course, these insights are of no use to me, personally, anymore, since I've been out of le moulin diplôme for almost three years now. But they might be of use to some people who are still in there or haven't started yet... or, who, for some crazed reason, want to go back.
Pretty much all these tips are going to revolve around one central question: figuring out how to graduate with a minimum of regrets in terms of missed opportunities for fun and a good start (professional, technical, moral, intellectual, social, etc.) for the rest of your adult life. These two goals aren't necessarily synced, nor are they opposed; they're orthogonal, which means you're going to have to allocate your effort, time, and money (in that order in how much each affects your chances of fulfilling the goal) between them.
1. Don't do things half-assed - I knew a girl in college who wanted to become a banker due to familial pressure. She didn't know whether she really wanted to be a banker deep down inside, but figured she should give it a shot. In her third year, she did an easy stint at a lightweight boutique, thought that's what finance was all about, and said she liked it. She got a hardcore job after graduation in the IBD bowels of some New York bulge bracket, did not fit well. Suffered a ton. Gained twenty pounds in nine months, cried herself to sleep three nights every week, decided she hated banking, had an existential crisis, decided she loved working for nonprofits instead. Trouble is, by that time, her attitudes towards rich and poor were pretty warped and she wound up getting kicked out of a non-profit consulting firm for making some fairly rude remarks about race and economic 'performance' on an email that got forwarded to, of all people, the chairwoman of the NAACP. Her story ends on a bright note though: our heroine ended up working for the IMF.
The lesson here is that you shouldn't do something halfway because you won't be able to figure out whether you really like it or not. The only way to figure out whether you really like what you 'want' to do is if you put the pedal to the metal and invite the world to take a shit on you via your chosen path. Otherwise you might not figure out whether the sacrifices you'll have to make are worth it. And believe me, everything you'll want to do will come with sacrifices.
2. Do try a lot of things out, though - Don't take #1 to mean you shouldn't dabble in a bunch of things. You should dabble in anything and everything that sparks your interest, because otherwise you might miss out on that one questline (closing multi-billion dollar deals! doing cool software projects! being the first guy in the NSA to speedily crack 8192-bit encryption! writing a movie that takes nine Oscars!) you're willing to give up sleep, romantic prospects, and parts of your mental health for. I say this, because if you've graduated but you haven't figured out what gets your juices going yet, you've probably missed one of the best chances in life to figure that out.
I don't mean you need to figure out exactly what career you want to be (you won't know that until you start working for a while, in all likelihood) but you'll need to know what you like to do (do I like meeting and getting to know new people? speaking in front of a crowd? creating artistic content? counting things? crunching and estimating things to draw up a game plan? taking clear orders in a hierarchical bureaucracy, or working in a loosely organized crew, or simply being a freelancer/lone wolf?) And please don't end up as that boring cliche who will enjoy doing anything for a six-figure salary--society has enough of those people, you don't need to add another puff of PM 2.5 to the moral pollution.
3. Get good at it - This relates back to #1. But instead of trying to seek 'hardcoreness' here, you're trying to seek expertise. You really won't figure out whether you like something or not until you hit that plateau of proficiency, so seek to get really good at whatever it is you are interested in. This is something I wish I'd done more of in college--I was satisfied at being mediocre in a bunch of things, and only now am I realizing that had I really drilled down and tried to become a master at a few things I could have become a much better person.
Now, so far, a lot of what I've talked about revolves around career stuff. That's only half the battle. The other half is about finding emotional fulfillment AKA love.
Yep, you heard me right. You'll miss out on a lot of what it means to be human if you die without ever having given yourself over to somebody heart, body, and soul.
4. Sleep around a lot - This relates back to the dabbling thing I talked about earlier, as well as the half-assed thing as well. You're not going to figure out whether you like somebody without literally going all the way with them, and you probably should get to know a lot of people in that sense before you settle down on that one person. The reason you should do this in college (and not, say, in your mid-twenties) is because college is the last time on earth when you more than 80% of your lays are going to involve a superficial emotional or financial commitment. Past college, most times you sleep with somebody, there's going to be an implicit romantic or financial string attached, no matter how hard you try to deny it. So dick around, it won't hurt anybody (as long as you don't catch an STD or knock somebody up). Because hey, nothing is cooler than realizing that hot Georgian chick who lived down the hall who you banged six times over ten days is now married to the son of a Russian oligarch--you got to rent, for free, what that bastard just signed over X/2 to buy, where X is the net assets under the jurisdiction of the hypothetical divorce court.
5. Learn how to make other people love you - The old saw that men and women approach relationships differently is partly true. A more accurate description would be that everybody approaches relationships differently. Every person has their own unique set of preferences, their unique set of pleasure buttons and pet peeves, when it comes to dating. These things can't really be generalized in words, but depend more on a set of nonverbal intuitions--a sort of 'feel'. So get that 'feel' right. Learn exactly what to say and how to act to make somebody fall for you from the appetizer at an overpriced downtown restaurant all the way to breakfast in bed. As you may have already guessed, I've found food usually works for me, but you might discover other methods.
The trick here is that you should always seek to improve on a rational basis. Evaluate every single performance from the eye of a film critic--was it believable? could there have been scenes or dialogue that were played better? could it have been shortened and still delivered all the required plot points? could the production budget have been cut down--did you really need all those special effects and expensive props? etc. And constantly seek to better your game.
6. At the same time, remember who you really are - Don't lose track of your inner self amidst the posturing that goes on to get laid. Remember that at the end of the day Mr. or Mrs. Right has to wake up next to you at 6:30 AM every Monday for a long time. At 6:30 AM on a Monday, I can't fake anything worth shit, and you probably can't, either. You'll need to make sure that special somebody fits with the real you, not some fake perception of you. Generally, the real you is the you that requires a minimal amount of effort to maintain from a social interaction and critical thinking perspective. Basically, if #5 tells you to become Casanova on E, #6 is about becoming Homer Simpson on donuts. So at a certain point (usually after a month, or if you're a guy, whenever your new gf goes into 'temporary maintenance') you can start dropping hints of the real you on her. I start with farting in bed and go up from there, but you might find that a little too daunting, in which case, that's fine, you're just a whipped little pussy and you should tell him/her that--better he/she finds out about the real you, right?
7. If you find that one person, don't let him or her go - I'm not going to repeat myself, so if you'd like to know more about the logic here, you should read some of my other blog posts.
Okay, you've got that great
8. Try assorted chemical substances - College is the last safe time you'll have to get high. It takes around 90 days, at most, for most drug residues to disappear from your body. (90 days is for hair samples--it might be shorter for urine, saliva, or blood). A lot of decent jobs require a drug test for admission, and you don't want to have 90-day stretches of unemployment after college... but in college, you can plan out your 420 timetable so that by the time you need to pee into a cup you're completely clean.
9. Learn to write and pick up a sense of wit - Try writing a piece of fiction, no matter how boring or stupid it may seem. It'll be a ton of fun and you'll learn about human nature. Also, writing (and speaking) well is a requirement for nearly any career. Wit is also a wonderful way to lubricate basic social interactions, and turn the unbearably awkward into the almost passable.
10. Pick up a sense of self-criticism - It's easy to become wrapped up with yourself in college. Pick up a habit of giving yourself a 'reason you suck' speech every single night, before you go to bed. Self-reflection is essential for figuring out how to become a better person. As a bonus, you'll get gripping, emotionally-charged dreams/nightmares that leave you a shivering ball of tears and laughter when you wake up.
Social stuff:
11. Help people you know succeed - Don't let jealousy get in the way of actively helping those you know succeed. Indeed, you should make it so that you would rather people you know--even if you don't like those people--succeed, since the more successful people you'll know, the better the rest of your life will become. This is something I must emphasize for the Chinese/Koreans/Taiwanese/Singaporeans here, because it seems to me a lot of us have this very lonely, singular, and hypercompetitive definition of 'success' that almost requires us to tear each other down. Don't fall into that cultural trap. Fight it.
12. Keep in touch with everybody and get to know as many people as you can - Seriously, don't be a hermit. And more than that, get to know people from a broad spectrum of society--jocks, stoners, geeks, loners, etc. You'll need to deal with all these groups of people in one way or another after you graduate, so why not practice in a low-pressure setting?
That's pretty much all for now. If any TLers have other tidbits, feel free to leave 'em below--would be highly interested, thanks!
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