On December 05 2012 12:29 bITt.mAN wrote:Show nested quote +On December 05 2012 04:37 StateofReverie wrote:On December 05 2012 02:50 WarSame wrote:On December 04 2012 23:39 meteorskunk wrote:
you man! you man!
you man! you man
after all!
human human human human human human after all!
you man! you man you man you man you man you man you man you man after all!
human human human you man human you man after all!
Oh Good Lord meteor, that is one of the funniest things I've ever read.
SoR - you probably should go check out a therapist. They help. More people use them than would admit. You admit you have problems, but if you mis-diagnosed yourself how would you know? A professional could diagnose and give advice how to handle it.
If I mis-diagnosed then my solution is not going to work and I mis-diagnosed myself. If I diagnosed properly, which is basically to be able to create a more accurate solution, then I will come to a valid solution. If not, then simply re-diagnose something different and modify the solution.
Also I think the most important thing I realized is that I can't wait for stuff to happen. I wanted to change instantly and so far I have been feeling really great. I can close my eyes and sleep. I always realize that I may have only temporarily 'fixed' myself, but deep down inside I know that I am going in the right direction.
edit: This is the first weekend that I have actually started looking forward to as well instead of always dreading it
Hey man, I'm really glad to hear you're starting to take steps in the right direction, so regardless of what you may think, there are people on TL who want to support you and help you develop into a more adjusted and mature adult, and are happy to hear you're becoming more self aware.
However please don't sell yourself short by thinking by reading an article that you think applies to you, you somehow know everything and are your own perfect, unapprochable guru. This approach is designed to fail. If you mis-diagnose you have no way of knowing it, and so you fail and don't change. You deserve better than that.
There are two key flaws: you think you are capable of diagnosing yourself correctly. That would imply you understand yourself and your interaction with others to an advanced degree, but by the very nature of your problem, you're not able to do that, as you are markedly socially un-aware and ill-adjusted. Even if you try again and again, its still you looking in the mirror, but your mirror only reflects blue light rather than the whole specturm, so to speak.
Second, you assume you would be able to perscribe solutions. Adequate solutions, functional solutions, well I hope so, and with more self-awareness and maturity that will come, a bit, but it won't get you too far, judging from your posts. Recognizing the problem is the first step, which has to do with identifying it. The next part is perscribing a 'remedy course' of sorts, to help you grow out of the problem.
Unfortunately, knowing HOW exactly to transition out of that state of 'less maturity' takes wisdom, experience, and maturity. Those are the things you need to grow into. Note how I say grow into, not attain or immediately understand, because they are attributes that you develop through experience, not intellectual insights that immediately click into place. To know what steps to take to grow, you need to have already grown. Please see, by definition, you simply cannot do this alone. And that's ok, because there are people who will help you!
If people were able to be their own mentors, then everyone would be insanely well-developped, wise, insightful and mature. Walk around, look outside, and observe that's not the case. It doesn't work that way ... by its very nature.
What you need is a mentor. Someone with wise counsel, who can see you as you are. You are seeking to improve the way you interact with other people. You can't see you, the way others do, only an outside person can see you the way outside people do. So get an outside person who you can trust, who can tell you how you come off. (Hopefully) you'll really not like what you hear, but rather than rejecting that person's observation (which by the way is not a judgement of your character, simply of the persona you emit), please wrestle with it, and try and see if there's any truth in it, and try and understand.
Outside input is the key throughout, here.To learn good and healthy contact with other people, you need a solid contact to show you the path! I'd say a mentor is much more suited to your personal maturity/social development than a therapist, because cost, and a true friend is much more valuable and invested in your life than someone you pay. Just be cautious to not trust yourself too readily to just some anybody. Ask your college's support system about mentoring, counseling, support.... you're not the only person who has social interactions and identity down perfect, heck I sure don't, so THERE ARE PROVISIONS out there, don't be dumb and under-shoot by trying to lift the world on your own.
Hope that helps, and if you contest anything please raise the issue so we can talk about it. Take care. Oh, and if they aren't overly weird/bible-thumping, in my experience going to the local InterVarsity Bible Study and saying "I'm new, still finding my feet, and just want trustworthy friends who won't shove stuff down my throat" you'll find they are people whose entire belief systems (and hopefully their lives too) revolve around being compassionate, caring for, and supporting those around them, so if anyone they're the ones who should be sought out [:
EPT
