EPTsome new poems i have written - Page 2
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Carnivorous Sheep
Baa?21248 Posts
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Fishgle
United States2174 Posts
your influence's so called "originality" is nothing but horrorcore and anti-intellectualism. It sounds like Lil B. An angsty Lil B, but white, privileged, and high on LSD instead of weed. He's stated himself that he's writing bad poetry on purpose (i've been googling this shit madly the last hour, don't deny it.) Lil B music is purposely shit in the same vein. It's just ironic, meme-influenced, txt-talk-like, blithe hipster pointlessness. There is very little to any of his poems. Nothing past the initial shock (the love poems too, really solely on shock). Read palanhiuk's short story "Guts" if you want something like this done well. Read Ginsberg. Read Burroughs. Read Bukowski. Read something serious. Learn to write serious work. Learn to actually feel. Does any of this actually speak to people? Sure you might get some laughs, or some pseudo-intellectual blather, but does anyone care for it past the microphone, past the stage? http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/poets/m_r/pound/retrospect.htm http://www.poetryfoundation.org/learning/essay/237880 http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5893 http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/17/how-to-live-without-irony/ http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/article/244760 EDIT: no, I am not a fun person. | ||
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GnarlyArbitrage
575 Posts
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meteorskunk
Canada546 Posts
I was emotionally taken by the guy reading in those videos you posted. I think you may be stealing his style a bit too much for your own good. I couldn't help but notice you both replaced "fuck" for "frick". I think it suits him more. I think it is because he has a more specific style of voice that he is trying to use. Like, he has something one might name a "tone" in colour a "key" or a style? Tell me if you agree. I think if his work strikes you as something you would like to do, it might be helpful to keep in mind that a large part of his effect is the way he says it. That means like.. so his work is primarily an oral craft and so that would mean you'd be better off going to an open mic night and reading it out at a bar so you can communicate more of the nuance of the emotions. Also to the people who don't understand why someone would write "drop me onto a spike", that type of writing is interesting just for its impact. It's not all the time one thinks about such painful things. It is interesting ot see waht the imagination can make of language. | ||
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
![[image loading]](http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/editorial_opinion/blogs/the_angle/assets_c/2011/01/PX00242_9-thumb-275x339-30970.jpg) Read some of Frost, and go to iTunes U and look up the Yale explanations of his poems, that will do you a lot of good. | ||
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farvacola
United States18869 Posts
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AiurZ
United States429 Posts
i dunno what u mean by filled with abstractions, because i think that most of these poems are composed of concrete images. outlandish, unrealistic, impossible aside (these are all choices that i make in my creative process) they are still concrete images. i dunno what u mean by lacking in music because i took some time to scan thru satanic bubble gum love poem and i think that not only is it regular and not only does it employ the sort of devices that you would want to employ in a loosely structured poem but it also variates from this in meaningful way.s i would say more about my own work but i am more interested in talking about poetry generally instead i disagree when you say that steve roggenbuck writes intentionally bad poetry. i think that useing the word "bad" and "good" to describe poetry is dubious. i think that generalizing steve roggenbuck as "horrorcore" and "anti-intellectual" is way off base and wrong. i think that these are kinds of criticisms that u might have seen levied on poets like allen ginsberg. if u want to argue that there is little in the way of textual substance to steve roggenbucks poetry i think that you are approaching it from entirely the wrong angle. i think that his poetry goes beyond the page and part of its power comes from his readings and his web presence and his brand. not only that, i think that his poems offer a lot textually, and that have a lot of power even beyond the initial "shock" that u try to describe ie this passage from somewhere in the bottom of the rain: i turn you with slow animals i turn you in the dark trees i have you with me in the dark trees i am tryig to put you somewhere else in the dark trees too i am like the giraffe of you wow i am kising 25 birds when i kis you i think that if walt whitman were a poet in these times that he would be writing lines like these. u find these kinds of lines all throughout steve roggenbucks poetry. i think its funny that u would mention chuck palahniuk especially "guts" in criticizing the poems i posted above because i have read a lot of chuck palahniuk and even the story u mentioned and i think that for the most part that chuck palahniuk is unsuccessful and boring and relies on his own sort of shock value and gimmicks just as much if not more than steve roggenbuck. @meteorskunk i am trying to develop my craft and it is interesting to me to make the same sort of creative decisions as other poets do. it helps me in trying to understand why they make the choices that they make and what sorts of things are successful and unsuccessful about it. the choice between "frick" and "fuck" in satanic bubble gum love poem is a conscious one. the line as i originally conceived it read "fuck" but i think that "frick" fits better within the poem and within the meaning of the line itself. i think that other parts i borrow without the same mindfulness but i am confident in the choice of "frick". @docvoc i think that frost would be deeply appreciative of my poem because it is in the loose iambic meter. | ||
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