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I'm in my last quarter of university and I'm about to graduate. This summer I did an internship at Amazon (My degree is in CS). I had a fantastic time there. I really had no complaints about the work at all. They ended up giving me a full-time offer, which I gladly accepted. This offer is fantastic and it's any CS major's dream job but, for some reason, I am kind of depressed these days and I have no idea why.
I'll be hanging out with friends and suddenly they will all start annoying me and I'll want to go home and be by myself. Or sometimes I'll be by myself and suddenly I'll just start feeling really sad. I've also recently really started to hate school. I mean, everyone feels that way at some point, especially seniors. This feels different from that though. I've felt that before last year, but this is a more intense hatred. Maybe I feel this way now because nothing I do during this quarter actually matters. All I have to do is pass and get my degree, whereas before I actually had to try to get good grades so my GPA was respectable. It might also be related to the fact that I find industry work to be a lot more engaging and stimulating.
My girlfriend of 5 years will be staying behind to finish up school. Some people might think that the thought of being away from her for so long is causing it, but I really don't think so. I fully intend to fly down and visit at least every other weekend, if not every weekend. Others might think it's because I'm moving from the city I've lived in my entire life to a completely new city in a completely different state, but I don't think that's it either. I'm actually excited to move up to Seattle and I had a great time there during my internship. I don't think it's that I'm finally starting work either. I've been in the work force for the past 4 years, so this isn't really anything new to me. I am comfortable working a 9-5.
Why do I feel this way? This is stupid and it doesn't make any sense to me. I consider myself very fortunate to have a good job already lined up after graduation so there should be no reason I feel this way.
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first world problems i tell ya. i think its a combination of everything you just said. also the fact that your about to begin your career might be a cause of that as well.
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Calgary25969 Posts
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O
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On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O
well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week.
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maybe it is the beggining signs of schizophrenia
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On October 08 2012 13:34 P7GAB wrote:
maybe it is the beggining signs of schizophrenia
Somehow I don't think so, lol.
On October 08 2012 12:33 dbg wrote:
first world problems i tell ya. i think its a combination of everything you just said. also the fact that your about to begin your career might be a cause of that as well.
Maybe. But individually I don't have any negative feelings towards any of those things...
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Your life is about to change drastically and you're adjusting to it. Your attitude won't actually change until you're settled at your new location (I said settled, not "there").
Talk about how you feel with people you actually know. Girlfriend, friends, family. Try to identify the causes behind your feelings! My offered reason may not be valid and/or the entire reason.
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Whaaaat are you going to work at Microsoft?! :O
Though MS is at Redmond (well it's close to Seattle, idk).
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On October 08 2012 13:51 Aerisky wrote:
Whaaaat are you going to work at Microsoft?! :O
Though MS is at Redmond (well it's close to Seattle, idk).
Nah, Amazon. I might as well just edit that in.
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If you play SC2 you should join the Amazon AHGL team. Then you'll get to experience firsthand how it feels to be manhandled by Epic 
But seriously, though, those seem like beginning signs of a mild case of depression. If they keep up you should talk to a professional about them. I know you say the feelings don't make sense, but that is the case for most people who suffer from depression. It has to do with chemical imbalances in your brain, which can be treated, with or without the use of prescription medication.
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Calgary25969 Posts
On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week.
That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this.
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On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this.
Really? Why is that?
EDIT: Actually, I misspoke earlier. I won't always be going to visit her. She will sometimes be coming up to see me.
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I also get annoyed by all of my friends but I find it goes away the longer I hang out with them that day. As far as the entire situation you might just be mentally drained or even suffering from some sort of depression but it sounds like you're bored as well. Bored of the same routine every day and my experience in long-term relationships ends with me being bored or even annoyed with the other person.
What helps me get out of these slumps is change. I felt a lot better when my last gf of almost a year broke up with me. Now i'm not saying go break up with your girlfriend or that she's the reason you feel this way but it might be something to consider.
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enjoy the weather in seattle ~
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On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~
Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_>
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TLADT24920 Posts
A thought that came from reading your thing is that you probably are starting to miss university and feeling depressed as a result. Yes, you look forward to working and leading a new life in Seattle but the thought of leaving university and your past life behind(in the sense of classes, late nights etc...) might be causing this. It sounds crazy but I was pretty sad when I graduated as well. You are happy to have graduated but sad because you will miss the experience. Maybe I'm wrong though lol.
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Probably just a bit of anxiety, big changes happening in your life... it's not just school which is "irrelevant" for you right now, it's pretty much everything, including your girlfriend. Not that she isn't a part of your future, but it will be in a different way. You're just waiting for the new circumstances since you know your current ones won't last.
Just wait it out.
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For me it seems as your feelings come from the unknown that is right in front of you. Maybe you didn't point it out that much in your posting but you can not tell me that 5 years of relationship to your girlfriend doesn't change your feelings in consideration of moving along without her for now. This and also friends is something people always think off "okayish" and "handable" but deep inside they feel unsecure and have bad feelings especially about loosing what you built up before so hard. Getting away from studying and starting a new "life" which when you look deeper is indeed a totally new style can be such thing to arise those feelings in you. I suggest you, if you have the feeling that things are not settled yet correctly you should talk about your plans and how you handle things clearly with your friends, family and girlfriend. Those are your ankers and you will need them in times when work doesn't fulfill you or other things in seattle occure. I once was in the same position however I had no the opportunity to fly every weekend or every second weekend to my girlfriend. You also have to consider that one that fears loosing somebody does say what the other person wants to hear. Back then I also thought things aren't that hard and we can handle it. In the middle of 1 year away from home it also felt like not that hard. Apparently people in fear do stupid things. This ended in one of us two being to neglected and felt left beside. So if I can give you one sure advice: Do talk over things a lot and be always honest and let others be honest too. Take away the fear of them and you will know what's behind.
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I left my best friends in the world and the best parties and lots of girls for my dream job. Everyone was happy for me except for me. Life is weird, bro.
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On October 08 2012 14:29 JDub wrote:If you play SC2 you should join the Amazon AHGL team. Then you'll get to experience firsthand how it feels to be manhandled by Epic But seriously, though, those seem like beginning signs of a mild case of depression. If they keep up you should talk to a professional about them. I know you say the feelings don't make sense, but that is the case for most people who suffer from depression. It has to do with chemical imbalances in your brain, which can be treated, with or without the use of prescription medication.
My first thought was also the possibility of a beginning depression, especially after reading the last paragraph. But it's too soon to make conclusions like that. It may very well sort itself out in the near future. However, keep it in the back of your mind and go see a doctor of it is persistent.
For now, like others have said, the best thing to do is to discuss this with people close to you. They know you a lot better than strangers on the internet do.
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On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this.
Disagree completely! I'm in a very happy long-distance relationship. If you really believe she's the one for you, then long-distance isn't a big deal really, you get used to it pretty quickly
Just make sure you have a plan to live in the same area in the future, definitely do need a plan in that sense! That way it's just temporary!
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Quarter life crisis? When u were doing internships, your contracts were always fixed, you knew u had a way out regardless how sgitty it was. Full time employment is different, you are more or less stuck (I think amazon gave stick options that were exercisable after one year?), even though u always have the option of quitting, it's kind of a big deal whereas ur internships were supposed to terminate after some months
I was pretty much in the same boat as you, returned to the same company I did three internships with and loved, and felt very depressed the first few months. The point is u'll get over it.
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What are you angry about?
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I couldn't tell what specifically you are angry about. Is it the job? Something else? I wasn't clear from reading the post.
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A diverse set of feedback you got here OP. Sounds like you don't really need to be sad about anything. Do you have dreams you are not seeking out? Are you being as human as you can? are you helping your community? Are you remembering to keep it light hearted, challenging, humorous and graceful? My forced laugh has got me further in life than a lot of things
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On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_>
It varies. Hasn't rained in weeks now... people exaggerate our weather so much. Last week it was super beautiful sunny with no clouds and it wasn't hot either (~68~73?F outside).
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On October 08 2012 14:48 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this. Really? Why is that? EDIT: Actually, I misspoke earlier. I won't always be going to visit her. She will sometimes be coming up to see me.
Because stuff comes up. It's not good to plan weekly visits IMO, but maybe monthly ones. It gets expensive, and life can get in the way. LDR is hard cause of that.
On October 08 2012 19:17 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this. Disagree completely! I'm in a very happy long-distance relationship. If you really believe she's the one for you, then long-distance isn't a big deal really, you get used to it pretty quickly Just make sure you have a plan to live in the same area in the future, definitely do need a plan in that sense! That way it's just temporary!
I think the unsustainable part is the seeing each other weekly/bi weekly type of thing. Unless you both have absolutely no plans and only live for each other. Which I'm not sure how healthy that is anyways.
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Calgary25969 Posts
On October 08 2012 19:17 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this. Disagree completely! I'm in a very happy long-distance relationship. If you really believe she's the one for you, then long-distance isn't a big deal really, you get used to it pretty quickly Just make sure you have a plan to live in the same area in the future, definitely do need a plan in that sense! That way it's just temporary!
Don't think I ever said that long distance is a big thing. I fly a lot. Flying domestic is a 2 hour commitment, plus the actual flight time. By the time you fly Friday night after work and then pack up Sunday afternoon, you don't really have much time to do anything. Doing this weekly or even biweekly will make you crazy. You'll feel like a zombie with no free time.
If you were a family man and going to see your wife while making good money, sure.
If you're a young guy doing this for his girlfriend with his first job, it's not going to end well.
You should have this conversation up front. Her coming to see you sometimes will help. You need to see if you and her will be okay skipping the flights sometimes and just doing Skype.
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On October 09 2012 00:09 Chill wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 19:17 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:On October 08 2012 14:44 Chill wrote:On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. That's extremely unsustainable. You'll want to kill yourself after 3 months. You should probably have a backup plan for when you realize this. Disagree completely! I'm in a very happy long-distance relationship. If you really believe she's the one for you, then long-distance isn't a big deal really, you get used to it pretty quickly Just make sure you have a plan to live in the same area in the future, definitely do need a plan in that sense! That way it's just temporary! Don't think I ever said that long distance is a big thing. I fly a lot. Flying domestic is a 2 hour commitment, plus the actual flight time. By the time you fly Friday night after work and then pack up Sunday afternoon, you don't really have much time to do anything. Doing this weekly or even biweekly will make you crazy. You'll feel like a zombie with no free time. If you were a family man and going to see your wife while making good money, sure. If you're a young guy doing this for his girlfriend with his first job, it's not going to end well. You should have this conversation up front. Her coming to see you sometimes will help. You need to see if you and her will be okay skipping the flights sometimes and just doing Skype.
You may be right. However, I'm not sure it will be that big an issue. When I go down to visit her, I will be living in the same room as I did in university and all my old friends will still be around for the last year. I will not be hanging out with just her 24/7; I'll also be hanging out with my friends. Why does it make a difference if I am a family man or a young guy? Money isn't really an issue. In fact, I was originally planning to stay in San Diego for the whole year so our long-distance wouldn't last so long, but then I realized how much money I would be losing by not working. I did the math and it turns out it would be far more cost-efficient to visit every single weekend lol, so that was my plan. Obviously it's not set in stone so if it turns out its taking too huge a toll on me, I can just cut back on it I guess.
I think some other posters made some good points. Maybe it's just all the changes that I know are coming up that are causing me sadness/anxiety. Individually I might be excited about them, but maybe together, they are causing these feelings. I've always been someone that likes to have some sort of set routine, and knowing that this will be disrupted could be causing that. And maybe I didn't feel this way during my internships because they were all temporary and I knew I would be returning to it.
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Tough biscuits, mate. Sounds like you got some issues to work through. Try looking for some spiritual guidance, but you don't have to rely on a conventional religion. If it gets worse, it might be a good idea to seek some therapy, depression is srs bsns.
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On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_>
Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out.
Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it.
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On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it.
You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it.
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On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it.
As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it.
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You don't seem sad, you seem resigned to mere contentment.
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On October 10 2012 00:50 Chaggi wrote:Show nested quote +On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it.
Ok, I'll bite. List every reason you think we should break up, and I will utterly refute every one of them. Then you don't say such outlandish things, k?
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A little depressed and confused leading up to work? Wait until you actually start working... (as a full-time employee, not an intern / co-op student)
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On October 10 2012 02:34 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2012 00:50 Chaggi wrote:On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it. Ok, I'll bite. List every reason you think we should break up, and I will utterly refute every one of them. Then you don't say such outlandish things, k?
Careful guys - - a blogger that wants attention but no harsh opinions
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On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week.
does your family own an airlines or do you have hook up to some cheap tickets or something????
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On October 10 2012 02:34 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2012 00:50 Chaggi wrote:On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it. Ok, I'll bite. List every reason you think we should break up, and I will utterly refute every one of them. Then you don't say such outlandish things, k?
Stop being a baby. No one here is saying GO BREAK UP MAN LOL. All we're saying is if you don't consider the possibility, you're not doing your due diligence as someone who I hope, loves your gf. If you don't understand this, then I don't know what to say to you.
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On October 10 2012 07:25 StateofReverie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2012 12:57 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 12:49 Chill wrote:
You're going to fly to see your girlfriend weekly? O_O well, maybe not every week because I will want to hang out with my work buddies, but at least every other week. does your family own an airlines or do you have hook up to some cheap tickets or something????
He said he has a good job lined up. He can probably afford to fly that often now. But fuck that's a lot of money annually. Got to be some good money.
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On October 10 2012 07:23 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2012 02:34 Xanbatou wrote:On October 10 2012 00:50 Chaggi wrote:On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it. Ok, I'll bite. List every reason you think we should break up, and I will utterly refute every one of them. Then you don't say such outlandish things, k? Careful guys - - a blogger that wants attention but no harsh opinions
On October 10 2012 07:25 Chaggi wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2012 02:34 Xanbatou wrote:On October 10 2012 00:50 Chaggi wrote:On October 09 2012 15:21 Xanbatou wrote:On October 09 2012 13:34 MountainDewJunkie wrote:On October 08 2012 15:43 Xanbatou wrote:On October 08 2012 15:30 KawaiiRice wrote:enjoy the weather in seattle ~ Thanks. You must live in seattle, right? Is the rain really as bad as they say? I don't think I will mind it so much, coming from San Diego. San Diego is pretty much the land of no rain >_> Seattle we've gone something like 60+ days straight without measurable rain, a record, not to mention terrifying. 3 weeks ago it was cloudy for a day, but for the last few weeks, after that fucking awful August - September heat wave, it's been sunny every day. There are no clouds in the sky. And haven't been. I'm starting to freak out. Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it. You're a jackass. You don't tell someone to end a 5-year relationship without any insight into it. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's a possibility for you to consider. If that's not something you're thinking about, then you're still pretty immature. There's a difference between ending it, and consider doing it. Ok, I'll bite. List every reason you think we should break up, and I will utterly refute every one of them. Then you don't say such outlandish things, k? Stop being a baby. No one here is saying GO BREAK UP MAN LOL. All we're saying is if you don't consider the possibility, you're not doing your due diligence as someone who I hope, loves your gf. If you don't understand this, then I don't know what to say to you.
I'll be addressing both of you with this post.
The reason I said you were full of shit is because you are making a completely useless post. Obviously I have considered many different possibilities. I didn't get to where I am by flying by the seat of my pants and doing things without thinking about them, which is what you seem to be implying. I considered many things regarding our relationship before even accepting the offer from Amazon. To not have done so would have been, frankly, fucking retarded. If you actually have some specific insight into why I should break up with her, then please, share. Otherwise, don't call me stupid.
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Well I certainly didn't call you stupid, did I? My, what, one-sentence blurb was a mere blip of personal experience that long-distance relationships are beyond difficult to maintain. You should not read into my post beyond that. If you reread it, perhaps slowly, you will find no venom. Whereas your immediate reply was to call me a jackass. How about you apply that displaced anger to whatever it is that's really bothering you that you can't seem to pinpoint. Sorry for striking a sore nerve.
Anyways, good luck, you're in good shape, you'll be fine. But as the kids of yesteryear used to say, "chillax."
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On October 10 2012 10:18 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
Well I certainly didn't call you stupid, did I? My, what, one-sentence blurb was a mere blip of personal experience that long-distance relationships are beyond difficult to maintain. You should not read into my post beyond that. If you reread it, perhaps slowly, you will find no venom. Whereas your immediate reply was to call me a jackass. How about you apply that displaced anger to whatever it is that's really bothering you that you can't seem to pinpoint. Sorry for striking a sore nerve.
Anyways, good luck, you're in good shape, you'll be fine. But as the kids of yesteryear used to say, "chillax."
That part that I bolded was all that I wanted. When you originally posted, you just said:
Oh, your relationship: you should consider ending it.
Can you see how I would receive that negatively? If you had followed that up with, "because long distance relationships are beyond difficult to maintain", it would have been less emotionless and robotic.
To address your concern, it won't be an issue. We have been long distance before. One time was semi-long distance (about 45 mins of driving) when I was at university and she was still in high school. The other was for about 4 months when she was studying abroad in Sweden. The other was this summer when I went for my internship at Amazon. Long distance just isn't a problem for us, as long as we have some arrangements to be together again before too long.
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On October 10 2012 10:43 Xanbatou wrote:Show nested quote +On October 10 2012 10:18 MountainDewJunkie wrote:
Well I certainly didn't call you stupid, did I? My, what, one-sentence blurb was a mere blip of personal experience that long-distance relationships are beyond difficult to maintain. You should not read into my post beyond that. If you reread it, perhaps slowly, you will find no venom. Whereas your immediate reply was to call me a jackass. How about you apply that displaced anger to whatever it is that's really bothering you that you can't seem to pinpoint. Sorry for striking a sore nerve.
Anyways, good luck, you're in good shape, you'll be fine. But as the kids of yesteryear used to say, "chillax." That part that I bolded was all that I wanted. When you originally posted, you just said: Can you see how I would receive that negatively? If you had followed that up with, "because long distance relationships are beyond difficult to maintain", it would have been less emotionless and robotic. To address your concern, it won't be an issue. We have been long distance before. One time was semi-long distance (about 45 mins of driving) when I was at university and she was still in high school. The other was for about 4 months when she was studying abroad in Sweden. The other was this summer when I went for my internship at Amazon. Long distance just isn't a problem for us, as long as we have some arrangements to be together again before too long.
While I did call / imply you were retarded, there's no need to be so defensive if you've done your homework. LDR's are hard, you're at a stage in your life when you can very easily grow apart and I hope you've made some tangible plans to be together after some time. All we're really trying to tell you is that the most common pitfall of people who do LDR's don't even consider breaking up as an option, and that leads to awful times, and an awful breakup after a few months.
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As a fellow software engineer, I've experienced the same thing.
Being highly technical, it's hard at times to not find non-technical people annoying. Your interests shift over time, you find the things your friends do for emotional stimulation empty and meaningless.
I hated school as well, so much so that I took nine classes one semester in order to graduate early.
People come and go in life, sounds like Seattle will be a new beginning for you.
Flying every other week seems too often, especially if you are always the one doing the flying.
All the best.
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EPT
