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For those who don't know my father was in a horrible accident where he was running and was hit by a truck. We think he was starting to have Alzheimer's and blanked out and walked in front of the truck but as he does not remember we don't know what happened. In short, 9 broken ribs, cracked skull, broken femur, punctured lungs, pneumonia, legs broken in 14 places and wounds down his entire back. ICU 26 days, comma 29 days.
This all happened close to 4 months ago. Today he is up and walking with out assistance and is physically recovering incredibly fast. But mentally he is stagnating or getting worse. He has problems with fixation (repeats one sentence for 4 hours) and general anxiety (paces around yelling nonsense cause he thinks he is missing something)
Last night the worst yet happened. He got mad during dinner and started grabbing my mom's arm (he has gotten quite strong) so I stepped in and pull his hand off and asked him not to do that. He then proceeded to punch me in the face. While it didn't hurt I was stunned and not quite sure how to act. I just stayed between him and my mom and grandma to make sure they didn't get hurt and for the next 2 hours he "chased" me around the house trying to hit me. He walks slowly so basically it was 2 hours of me walking in front of him keeping an eye on him until he got tired. When I tried to put him to bed he found his old pocket knife and tried to open it and stab me. I just took it out of his hand and asked him why he wanted to do that? He mumbled and went to bed.
The punch didn't hurt and I know he is not in his right mind but my father before the accident would have never done that. EVER. So emotionally it is hard to reconcile the man who is here today with my father. But at the same time I need to be strong to help my mom and help bare the burden of what she has to go through. It's just a little tough right now.
I am hoping that there will be some development and that he will get better and that he might even come back to the dad I used to know.
~YourGoodFriend
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Might want to send him somewhere safe. People with a fragile mental state like that have done things like killing their family in their sleep. Seriously, he is a danger to himself, and, more importantly, everyone else. Even if he's old and weak, he could easily find a weapon and kill a much stronger person.
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I nursed my grandmother for quite sometime through Alzheimer's before she passed away too. Although my case certainly wasn't as bad as yours, I can relate and understand the frustration. You'll have to get over the image you have of the person as an authority figure, and treats him as a child. I'm sorry, it's really depressing to think like that, but there is no other way.
My grandma would often eats a meal and say that she haven't had lunch yet 30minutes later. If I leave a bowl of fruit besides her, she'd eat everything without even remembering it. She had knee problems and couldn't walk very far so someone must stay close to her all the time. At first she still knew who I am and can still ask for things (like going to the bathroom for example). Most of her daily activities are passive, but she doesn't sleep so easily either. She also repeats the same sentences/questions several times and it could go on for hours.
Afterwards, it starts escalating and she forgets names of everyone around her. She starts stockpiling personal objects near her bed for no reason. I started taking over daily hygienic activities that she normally did herself as she could not remember them at all. From each visits from our relatives, she remembers less and less, and finally after about half a year since the start of her symptoms, she has completely lost her identity, and all memories of her children/grandchildren. Occasionally a sparkle of recognition of some significance of my mother's name will show a small glint of hope, but it disappeared as sudden as it came.
I nursed her like that for almost 2 years. It hurts a lot when I hoped that she'll become who she once was again, but it never happened. Towards her last few weeks, we moved her to a hospital to monitor her condition more closely. She finally passed away peacefully, without any acute failures of bodily functions; it was as if she went to sleep and never woke up again.
I hope you find your courage to help your father through this, but it would pain yourself less, if you didn't try to hope that he'll come back. I'm truly sorry.
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Sorry to hear that, dude. I don't know that I could put up with that. After 2 hours of walking away from my angry father, I would instant nursing home that guy.
Nice perseverance, but consider that this may not be something you want to deal with on a daily basis.
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Calgary25955 Posts
Hmm. That's really a tough situation. I can't help but wanted to wish you the best and commend you for sticking strong with your family.
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Yeah Its hard, my mom is the real Hero she lives with him 24/7 (except for a few weekends) I work so I am not there all the time. After this last episode we are starting to think that if this happens again we might have to put him in a home. I hate doing that but I know it be something we have to do to keep him and my mom safe.
I hope you find your courage to help your father through this, but it would pain yourself less, if you didn't try to hope that he'll come back. I'm truly sorry.
Yeah true advice hope turned sour can really make a situation worse. Thanks guys for reading and seeking to understand, it helps to have an outlet that is somewhat removed from the situation.
Here's to TL, YourGoodFriend Keegan
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