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I want to share a story with you which happened over a past weekend at an event. I will not mention the company, because it was no fault of theirs directly, so if you happen to investigate and deduce which company, please don't have hard feelings for them because they've sufficiently handled the situation.
Anyhow, I want to share this with the ladies (and gents with girlfriends/wives/etc) just to warn you that it could have been MUCH worse if I hadn't spoken up, and if you find yourself in a similar situation, speak up sooner rather than later.
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I met one of the guys from one of the exhibitor booths at a fairly recent tournament I attended, and we talked about my media outlet, and what we do, and then went to dinner with his colleagues and him on the last day after the games. About two weeks later, he asked me if I knew anyone who would be able to come to [event] and help out because his boss wanted a girl there. I told him that I would like to go, and so he booked my flight and told me I was just staying in the hotel with him. Well, being in THIS community, I'm used to rooming with people for events, so I didn't give it a second thought. (I later learned that he's not a gamer at all, btw)
When I arrived at the airport, he and his colleague picked me up, we dropped off my stuff at the hotel, dropped off the equipment at the venue, and then took a tour of the city (his colleague lives there, and so he drove us around). We walked around for a while and did some sight-seeing, took some photos, and then had dinner and went back to the hotel. I showered and put on my super-conservative pj's, bra, t-shirt, long pants, the whole bit (WAY more than I'm used to wearing at home, for sure). Neither of us were tired, and so I suggested we play cards. He suggested we watch a movie. Either way – something to do. The movie ended, and I was just falling asleep when he started talking. Okay, so he's talking, no big deal. I was half asleep, so I don't really remember what about, but I told him it was time to sleep. He apologized and was quiet for a minute, but then proceeded to keep me awake all night asking me questions that became more and more personal... just talking and talking and talking... I probably told him 10+ times to just let me go to sleep. At this point, I was getting frustrated and really tired. Taking advantage of my lack of sleep, he got up next to me and put his arm around me, which I grumped at him for doing, and told him he needed to stop and let me sleep. He backed off, and went to sleep, as did I - for a total of one and a half hour before it was time to wake up and begin the day.
His colleague picked us up from the hotel, and I mentioned it in the car right in front of him that I was not able to sleep because he kept me awake talking all night. We worked an 11 hour day, fueled by energy drinks, had dinner, and got dropped off at the hotel once again. I thought we'd cleared up the “let me sleep” but apparently not. I was SO exhausted that I was in a fog of not really knowing what was going on by the time I'd finished showering and getting ready for bed so I could sleep and wake up early again, I don't do well on no sleep. I don't function well at all. Realizing this, he took it upon himself to rub my back, put his arm around me, and I was just like “whatever” and tried so hard to ignore him (my mistake, should have kicked him, but like I mentioned, I was in a fog of exhaustion and not thinking too clearly), but then he decided it would be a good idea to grab my behind and try to kiss me – at which point I woke up and said “Stop – I'm not going to kiss you. You need to be still and let me go to sleep. Do I need to tell [his colleague] to get me a different room?” He apologized and stopped, but then a minute later started again saying how he just couldn't help himself, and that he liked me too much, and now I was here, and so on. This went on for a while, and once again, no sleep. Finally, I guess I was enough of a bitch that he quit and went to sleep, so then I did as well – for a whole hour again.
The next day, at the venue, obviously super-tired and quite flustered, I told his colleague about his actions, and asked if I could stay elsewhere. We figured out a plan for the rest of the weekend which was better, but not ideal. He asked one of the girls from a different company (who he knew from other events, and I had met before as well) if I could stay with her, and so she was really nice to house me for the next two days so I could finally sleep.
His colleague later told me that the company was under the impression that, when hotel plans were made, I was just going to stay with friends in the area, so they didn't need to book me a room. (That was never the actual plan.)
His colleague reported everything to HR, and I've already talked to them. I made a few friends out of the ordeal, but it was much less than an ideal 'work' weekend. Thinking back, I should have just asked for a different room the first night that went awry, but I've learned that I'm too nice, I guess.
Girls, don't be too nice. I will be requesting my own room from now on if I'm invited to events by companies. It could have been so much worse if I had not said anything, and I'm glad I wasn't too ashamed to tell someone.
 
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Russian Federation142 Posts
Did he look like a guido too? Tell me he looked like a guido.
I hate on sexual harassment lawsuits but then I remember that crap like this occurs.
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God, when I started reading this story, I knew it was an impending doom >___<
As soon as he kissed you or started becoming annoying, you should have 1. told the colleague, 2. request a room-switch or refuse to work and 3. tell that horny fuck to fuck off and die.
Glad things worked out, though you should have been clear from the beginning, keeping quiet isn't the mature and civilized thing to do when someone's being immature and aggravating.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
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Honestly, I'm just happy that nothing too crazy ended up happening. When you're asked to attend an event and represent a company, it isnt that naive to be trusting. It seems simple. You both have a job to do and you had met said guy previously. What also gets at me is that the rest of the people in charge didnt seem to know you were in the room with him, which means that he went behind the company's back in inviting you to stay in his room. A lot of companies big and small actually are not into having people of opposite genders share rooms for that specific reason.
I am really sad that you had to go through that because I know that you were excited to go work there.
I think you handled it pretty well for the situation. Night 1 wasn't too bad, but night 2 was just 'get the hell out of there,' which you did do.
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Honestly, he sounded like a total dick.
There are some things in life that you just do not do and it sounded like he was trying to make this a company-sponsored pick up.
Honestly, did the hotel room have one or two beds? If just one, then I must say that he was WAY out of line for inviting you over.
And, before I continue with this post, I am going to divulge a disclaimer: I am not in any way, shape, or form homophobic, I am open minded and have worked at one establishment where I was the only heterosexual male at one point, but I can say I've been in the OP's shoes before.
Hormones- guys have them, sometimes they can be uncontrollable. I remember one place I worked at, a guy was constantly whistling at me, and I very bluntly said to him, several different times "I am not gay." Ok, sure, whatever, the whistling continues, I guess it's just a joke. Then I sit down to eat my lunch and study Chinese. The guy starts flirting with me and putting his hand on mine in this "rubbing" motion. I started to feel nauseous and creeped the fuck out because he was serious. I consulted my manager, and that was the end of that. Adding to that, the guy was taller and stronger than me.
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Sometimes that "If at first you don't succeed try, try again..." kind of attitude isn't the right attitude to have... :/
Obviously talking about him. Sounds like a loser.
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Definitely could have ended much worse than it did, glad that he didn't try anything further as soon as you spoke up and pushed him away though. Then it'd be much more than just an HR complaint...
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I understand what happened. This situation shall change the way female members of the eSports community should be treated when seeking accommodations. What happened to Brightside was totally unacceptable! That man treated her with no respect & no dignity, whatsoever.
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Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
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^ I agree with you on this.
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On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
Yeah, seriously. This could have got very rapey. You are in some ways lucky he backed off. Silly silly choice and many girls need a good dose of survival sense.
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Taking advantage of my lack of sleep, he got up next to me and put his arm around me, which I grumped at him for doing, and told him he needed to stop and let me sleep. He backed off, and went to sleep, as did I - for a total of one and a half hour before it was time to wake up and begin the day.
That's the moment where I'd recommend to my gf to establish a VERY clear line. The whole talking part is excusable to some extent but this certainly is not. Be aware of where your phone is from this point on.
Really happy things didn't go really out of hand, but please be more careful if something similar comes up. If I was you I'd make enough noise that this guy gets fired. You won't be the last girl that "his boss wants at an event" if you don't.
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Obviously the guy is at fault here, but yeah, like mentioned, sharing a hotel room with a male that's a complete stranger as a girl?
It's sad but true, but doing stuff like that in our world ''somewhat'' safely is a privilege reserved solely for men.
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Didnt realise you were a girl. I thought the guy was gay since I didnt read line by line....
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Most rapey blog I've ever read. 5.
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He seems like a jerk, but it might not have been entirely his fault as well.
I mean, everything is written from your perspective and there is a lot of crucial information
missing to denounce him as a total jerk.
First of all, i dont know how the situation exactly was, so im going to make a few assumptions:
1 - 1 bed or 2 beds? If its only 1 bed, then its already wrong of you for accepting that invitation.
2 - Seems like you are a very nice person. As a male its easy to misunderstand. Don't end up getting too
friendly on someone you don't know, especially if you are going to sleep at the same room/bed.
With that said, ofcourse its mostly his fault and you should say something about it when something
like this occurs. Its completely unacceptable what he did and he should be told when he's crossing the line.
I mean, if someones talking all the time and you need to sleep, just tell him to stfu. Don't just go uh-huh and pretend
your listening. Just be straight when something starts anoyying you. Again, make sure to warn when someone
crosses a line instead of letting them.
Ofcourse its mostly his fault. You are both there for work so he should act professionally.
Just remember that males arent the same as females and that you should always set borders
which shouldnt be crossed.
Thanks for read anyway ^^
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On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
Well, it was a person from her company, not a totally random dude... That person will suffer consequences for anything he does and is a working normal member of society. However, obviously he missed the mark on how she percieved him and needed something absurdly firm (somehow something more than 'no' although we don't know how sternly she said it).
It sounds like a pretty shitty experience, OP! Definitely not a bad idea to ask for your own room in the future. Honestly, even tho it's a person from your company, I still think it would be weird to sleep in the same room with someone I didn't really trust on a personal level. I think because of that, and because it is rare for women to share rooms with men, he probably took the very fact that you were willing to share a room with him as some kind of implicit interest in him. It wasn't the case, but I think if he's a relatively normal person otherwise that's got to be the centre of misunderstanding.
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I don't understand OP, what's your job?
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On July 09 2012 22:00 Kukaracha wrote:
I don't understand OP, what's your job?
Checking her twitter,
I'm guessing she is an "eSports Community Manager" or "Public relations coordinator", as her twitter does state that she is trying to get girls more involved with starcraft. Maybe she was offered this job that she's blogging about because they needed a pretty face to advertise something.
She has already said she doesn't want to go into details about the thing that happened, so... Let's leave it at that.
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Well, if she's just paid to be a pretty face, then I guess this kind of accidents are to be expected.
User was temp banned for this post.
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On July 10 2012 01:21 Kukaracha wrote:
Well, if she's just paid to be a pretty face, then I guess this kind of accidents are to be expected.
Don't be an asshole.
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I'm not being an asshole, I'm simply being cynical at worst.
"Pretty faces" have little to no weight in companies, and they are commonly preyed upon, like all the backstage "guests" who are there for vague reasons. If you're an employee, such actions may have repercussions, and if you're in the management team it simply won't happen. But if you're just there to look nice and for "public relations", then you should be careful about people's attitude and kindness, that's all.
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What a horrible experience! You are absolutely correct: girls should not be too nice. You deserve to be treated with respect, and if someone treats you in a disrespectful manner be sure to let them know, and take action.
It's incredibly unfortunate something like that happened to you, BrightSide. They never should have booked a shared room with you and that guy. It's not professional.
I hope you're OK, and hope that nothing like this happens again to you, or any woman in Esports.
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On July 09 2012 17:30 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part. Yeah, seriously. This could have got very rapey. You are in some ways lucky he backed off. Silly silly choice and many girls need a good dose of survival sense.
completely agree. This could have turned out far worse than it did. It's still a disgusting thing to do in either case
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As an adult male, I would be extremely leery of sharing a hotel room with someone I didn't/barely knew. If it were a business situation, I might feel a little more comfortable, but not much, especially if it were someone of the opposite sex (to much risk of something like this or even a story like this coming out of it).
So yeah... what the others said. This went bad, but could have went much worse. Ask for your own room up front next time, there is no harm in asking.
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OMG. Brightside are you ok? I'm so sorry this crap happened to you. 
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On July 10 2012 02:08 SabreUK wrote:Show nested quote +On July 09 2012 17:30 sc4k wrote:On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part. Yeah, seriously. This could have got very rapey. You are in some ways lucky he backed off. Silly silly choice and many girls need a good dose of survival sense. completely agree. This could have turned out far worse than it did. It's still a disgusting thing to do in either case
Entirely disagree. Sounds like a guy that didn't get it at all, but not a rapist. I'm sure it wasn't a pleasant experience but it doesn't sound like she was in danger, just with an asshole. Also from the way she describes her story it's her to tell how she said no to him. Some people definitely need a harsh no to get the point, and maybe he was one of those.
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It's hard to imagine because I'm not a girl, but I suspect you really needed to speak more directly.
"I'm tired, let's stop talking and go to sleep"
"Please stop talking and let me sleep"
"WTH man, stop talking"
I have a hard time picturing how the guy would continue for 10+ times if you were direct with him. Were you actually answering his questions each time when he woke you up to ask you? I'm trying to think what my wife would do and there is no way she wouldn't turn on bitch-mode after 1 or 2 back and forths.
The second night is even less understandable. Given everything from the previous day, when he first touched you how could you not jump up and yell at him (I know you've acknowledged this)?
Overall, I think sometimes it's obvious that some guys just don't 'get it', and it's not out of line to talk to these people in very direct terms. You can't expect a nice answer to work the 8th time you say it when it did nothing the first 7 times.
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I don't understand how some girls can be so naive.
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On July 10 2012 10:04 Xyik wrote:
I don't understand how some girls can be so naive.
Indeed sir, not to attack anyone or to blame.. but in a community predominantly outweighed by men, chances are even higher for such incidents to occur. Women are generally subject to sexual harrassment especially in these sort of environments. There have been numerous studies stating the numbers and they are all pretty shocking and disturbing. I think as fun as the community can be at the end keep at the back of your mind that you're a woman and sharing a room with a guy whom you barely know may not be the wisest idea to take.
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Some people are dicks. It's naive to assume otherwise.
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Calgary25969 Posts
On July 11 2012 01:17 VampireLady wrote:Show nested quote +On July 10 2012 10:04 Xyik wrote:
I don't understand how some girls can be so naive. Indeed sir, not to attack anyone or to blame.. but in a community predominantly outweighed by men, chances are even higher for such incidents to occur. Women are generally subject to sexual harrassment especially in these sort of environments. There have been numerous studies stating the numbers and they are all pretty shocking and disturbing. I think as fun as the community can be at the end keep at the back of your mind that you're a woman and sharing a room with a guy whom you barely know may not be the wisest idea to take.
Cite sources please. It sounds like you just made stuff up and then tacked on "numerous studies".
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On July 11 2012 01:17 VampireLady wrote:Show nested quote +On July 10 2012 10:04 Xyik wrote:
I don't understand how some girls can be so naive. Indeed sir, not to attack anyone or to blame.. but in a community predominantly outweighed by men, chances are even higher for such incidents to occur. Women are generally subject to sexual harrassment especially in these sort of environments. There have been numerous studies stating the numbers and they are all pretty shocking and disturbing. I think as fun as the community can be at the end keep at the back of your mind that you're a woman and sharing a room with a guy whom you barely know may not be the wisest idea to take.
+ Show Spoiler +Have you seen what men have to endure? They get their head phones stolen all the time from girls staying in their rooms. IT'S A TRAVESTY, there have been numerous studies showing the head phone theft rate is shocking and disturbingly high.
TBH this blog sounds a little naive in staying with someone who's basically a stranger; you yourself said it took you awhile to find out he wasn't even a gamer.
Sorry for your experience in general but i'm glad that the worst experience you have to share is losing some sleep because of a weirdo. Also if you wanted sleep you should've acted all PMS and then told him you were on your period when he asked why you were so mad.
Disclaimer: There are some jokes in this post, don't go Romanian on me.
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That abc article complicates matters rather dramatically and takes away from your point I think. Overall, harassment has seen a decrease since the time of the European study you offered forth, which is neither shocking nor disturbing. I agree that harassment is a huge issue, but arguing with hyperbole isn't a good way to get your point across. I won't even get into the possibility of errors in these reports, this is an issue simply too sticky for TL methinks.
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Sure, there there can be found flaws in any reports but really in the course of time ive seen plenty come across.. Also, I don't know how you conclude it has seen a decrease but I personally don't believe that to be true.
Besides the fact that these types of reports have been made in numerous countries over the course of years really, another huge factor is that a lot of these incidents aren't even reported or waved off as "masculine behaviour'.
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How does this even happen?
I've heard a lot of people [ mostly girls ] describe their sleepy state like this and its just like reading about an alien or strange animal found in a exotic country.
I've been up for 24-72 hour periods before and even at my most tired and exhausted I don't know how you could kinda allow this to happen. Just being around other humans in general and then encountering people like this who for some unknown reason get knocked the fuck out by ' tiredness ' is really unbelievable to me.
Totally aside from the fact that this guy is a douchebag, I don't think this serves as a warning or help to average girls at all because they wouldn't come out of this thinking they were ' too nice '. Or that they somehow telepathically were giving off no signals since they were wearing conservative pjs....according to their own opinion.
As others have already mentioned:
Bed count.
Alone with some dude you don't really know or have been alone with for a long time.
Saying explicitly what you think/feel to be wrong.
Somehow thinking its ok to go round 2 with this guy after the first night..???
This is advice you'd give to like a 12 year old girl/daughter/sister......common sense.
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On July 11 2012 03:49 VampireLady wrote:
Sure, there there can be found flaws in any reports but really in the course of time ive seen plenty come across.. Also, I don't know how you conclude it has seen a decrease but I personally don't believe that to be true.
Besides the fact that these types of reports have been made in numerous countries over the course of years really, another huge factor is that a lot of these incidents aren't even reported or waved off as "masculine behaviour'.
Read your second link
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Wow, I'm really sorry you had to experience this BrightSide. Even in a community as awesome as ours, we still have to have some people who like to ruin it for people. I hope the guy gets fired for his actions. Glad it didn't go further than it did, could have been so much worse
Hope it hasn't affected you too much, I know experiences like this can be pretty traumatic. Luckily the guy backed off. Also glad you posted this and I hope it gets tons of views. People (especially the women in our community) need to know this stuff can happen. Like you said, it isn't uncommon to share rooms at events, and I really hope no one else has to deal with this kind of behavior at our community events.
Good luck with your fight against this guy with HR from the company. I really hope he loses his job.
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sounds like u misunderstood him, normally a girl know when a guy is attracted, maybe he didnt know how to seduce you and tried this plan, some shy guys do that sort of things. And hormones can make a man act very stupidly, but yea he was wrong to do that, it was total lack of respect.
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On July 11 2012 04:20 Ack1027 wrote:
How does this even happen?
I've heard a lot of people [ mostly girls ] describe their sleepy state like this and its just like reading about an alien or strange animal found in a exotic country.
I've been up for 24-72 hour periods before and even at my most tired and exhausted I don't know how you could kinda allow this to happen. Just being around other humans in general and then encountering people like this who for some unknown reason get knocked the fuck out by ' tiredness ' is really unbelievable to me.
Totally aside from the fact that this guy is a douchebag, I don't think this serves as a warning or help to average girls at all because they wouldn't come out of this thinking they were ' too nice '. Or that they somehow telepathically were giving off no signals since they were wearing conservative pjs....according to their own opinion.
As others have already mentioned:
Bed count.
Alone with some dude you don't really know or have been alone with for a long time.
Saying explicitly what you think/feel to be wrong.
Somehow thinking its ok to go round 2 with this guy after the first night..???
This is advice you'd give to like a 12 year old girl/daughter/sister......common sense.
I think you need to realize that in a friendly environment it's harder. for some more than others to say no, especially, if you have to identify the situation first. Is this really happening ? Am i exaggurating ? Is he only teasing ? ..how do you do react to such a situation ? . When men and women are alone usually there's always sexual tension and some girls don't recognize this often leading to taken by surprise when one does the first move.
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On July 11 2012 05:26 VampireLady wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2012 04:20 Ack1027 wrote:
How does this even happen?
I've heard a lot of people [ mostly girls ] describe their sleepy state like this and its just like reading about an alien or strange animal found in a exotic country.
I've been up for 24-72 hour periods before and even at my most tired and exhausted I don't know how you could kinda allow this to happen. Just being around other humans in general and then encountering people like this who for some unknown reason get knocked the fuck out by ' tiredness ' is really unbelievable to me.
Totally aside from the fact that this guy is a douchebag, I don't think this serves as a warning or help to average girls at all because they wouldn't come out of this thinking they were ' too nice '. Or that they somehow telepathically were giving off no signals since they were wearing conservative pjs....according to their own opinion.
As others have already mentioned:
Bed count.
Alone with some dude you don't really know or have been alone with for a long time.
Saying explicitly what you think/feel to be wrong.
Somehow thinking its ok to go round 2 with this guy after the first night..???
This is advice you'd give to like a 12 year old girl/daughter/sister......common sense.
I think you need to realize that in a friendly environment it's harder. for some more than others to say no, especially, if you have to identify the situation first. Is this really happening ? Am i exaggurating ? Is he only teasing ? ..how do you do react to such a situation ? . When men and women are alone usually there's always sexual tension and some girls don't recognize this often leading to taken by surprise when one does the first move.
Realize that you've just described how many men end up between a rock and a hard place, stuck in between the uncertainty of a new interaction and the societal norm which stipulates that men make the first move. Not that this guy is anything short of a creep, but a more forward and communicative male-female dynamic might help to avoid these situations altogether.
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On July 11 2012 08:50 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2012 05:26 VampireLady wrote:On July 11 2012 04:20 Ack1027 wrote:
How does this even happen?
I've heard a lot of people [ mostly girls ] describe their sleepy state like this and its just like reading about an alien or strange animal found in a exotic country.
I've been up for 24-72 hour periods before and even at my most tired and exhausted I don't know how you could kinda allow this to happen. Just being around other humans in general and then encountering people like this who for some unknown reason get knocked the fuck out by ' tiredness ' is really unbelievable to me.
Totally aside from the fact that this guy is a douchebag, I don't think this serves as a warning or help to average girls at all because they wouldn't come out of this thinking they were ' too nice '. Or that they somehow telepathically were giving off no signals since they were wearing conservative pjs....according to their own opinion.
As others have already mentioned:
Bed count.
Alone with some dude you don't really know or have been alone with for a long time.
Saying explicitly what you think/feel to be wrong.
Somehow thinking its ok to go round 2 with this guy after the first night..???
This is advice you'd give to like a 12 year old girl/daughter/sister......common sense.
I think you need to realize that in a friendly environment it's harder. for some more than others to say no, especially, if you have to identify the situation first. Is this really happening ? Am i exaggurating ? Is he only teasing ? ..how do you do react to such a situation ? . When men and women are alone usually there's always sexual tension and some girls don't recognize this often leading to taken by surprise when one does the first move. Realize that you've just described how many men end up between a rock and a hard place, stuck in between the uncertainty of a new interaction and the societal norm which stipulates that men make the first move. Not that this guy is anything short of a creep, but a more forward and communicative male-female dynamic might help to avoid these situations altogether.
That is my point. Sometimes it's hard to see what is actually going on.
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On July 09 2012 21:05 ruiyang wrote:
He seems like a jerk, but it might not have been entirely his fault as well.
I mean, everything is written from your perspective and there is a lot of crucial information
missing to denounce him as a total jerk.
First of all, i dont know how the situation exactly was, so im going to make a few assumptions:
1 - 1 bed or 2 beds? If its only 1 bed, then its already wrong of you for accepting that invitation.
2 - Seems like you are a very nice person. As a male its easy to misunderstand. Don't end up getting too
friendly on someone you don't know, especially if you are going to sleep at the same room/bed.
With that said, ofcourse its mostly his fault and you should say something about it when something
like this occurs. Its completely unacceptable what he did and he should be told when he's crossing the line.
I mean, if someones talking all the time and you need to sleep, just tell him to stfu. Don't just go uh-huh and pretend
your listening. Just be straight when something starts anoyying you. Again, make sure to warn when someone
crosses a line instead of letting them.
Ofcourse its mostly his fault. You are both there for work so he should act professionally.
Just remember that males arent the same as females and that you should always set borders
which shouldnt be crossed.
Thanks for read anyway ^^
Hey buddy, can you explain to me which part WAS the OP's fault? You keep saying it's "
mostly" his fault. I would say it's 100% his fault. The polite thing to do is pretend to listen you dolt. Also if you actually read her post you'll see that she did tell him she needs to sleep, no more talking etc. He continued talking. Besides that the talking was only the premise to show you this guys perseverance.
I would say that 0% of this was OP's fault. She could have prevented it by simply denying this opportunity completely, or asking for her own room. But that's like saying it's your fault for getting in a car accident, JUST because you decided to go to work, and take the most efficient route. Would you suggest everyone not drive to work? and not take the main roads, simply because it's POSSIBLE to get in a bad situation? Of course not.
Have a little respect. If you think anything that the guy described in OP did was in anyway okay BESIDES recommending moving instead of cards. Then you should rethink your life and your views on women. RESPECT. That's all there is, you have it..or you don't.
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The guy mentioned in the OP is a total fucking jerk, its indefensible.
We can all look back and be like, "brightside should known better" because the incident is the past now, but women should not have expect that all men are incredibly creepy, bordering on rapey jerks, if only because the majority aren't.
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Calgary25969 Posts
I don't find any of these legitimate sources. A real source is more than "this is what I think". You make bold claims and they require legitimate sources.
FUCK. Like reread what you claim and then fucking prove it. These links you've provided are embarrassing when compared to your original claim.
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I was reading the OP and had a slight facepalm. I don't understand why any girl will willingly share a room with another guy and not think that it's sending out wrong signals. Sure, the guy is in the wrong, but at least take some responsibility for your own safety.
I would think that all this is common sense...
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On July 11 2012 11:32 Chill wrote:I don't find any of these legitimate sources. A real source is more than "this is what I think". You make bold claims and they require legitimate sources. FUCK. Like reread what you claim and then fucking prove it. These links you've provided are embarrassing when compared to your original claim.
Those searches were just a quick google search came up with. Truth be told, if you are surprised or anaware of such a phenomenon i reckon you've been living under a rock because these sorts of surveys are done both nationally and internationally.
Example. According to another dutch survey states
" Places where women are predominantly subjected to sexual violence is at work and school ( 36 % ) ".
Source : Emancipationmonitor 2006 ( http://www.seksueelgeweld.info/feiten_en_cijfers/omvang_seksueel_geweld/vrouwen_en_mannen )
" Between 40 and 50 percent of women in European Union countries experience unwanted sexual advancements, physical contact or other forms of sexual harassment at their workplace. "
Source : UN Women Surveys
http://www.unifem.org/gender_issues/violence_against_women/facts_figures.php
Fuck. Open a paper every now and then these findings are nothing to be surprised of they hitt he papers every now and then.
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Calgary25969 Posts
Your claim: Sexual harassment increases in environments as the ratio of men:women increases.
Your proof: A lot of women experience sexual harassment.
I don't doubt that sexual harassment occurs often in the workplace. This is what I want you to prove:
in a community predominantly outweighed by men, chances are even higher for such incidents to occur. Women are generally subject to sexal harrassment especially in these sort of environments. There have been numerous studies stating the numbers
It's not my job to go out and prove it to myself because I'm not the one making claims. I don't go around reading papers on every subject... is that a rational expectation? O_o
Edit: Further, I'm trying to see how this relates at all. It happened in a one on one situation. Why does the industry or how many men are waiting back at the office matter in this case?
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On July 11 2012 11:52 Azzur wrote:
I was reading the OP and had a slight facepalm. I don't understand why any girl will willingly share a room with another guy and not think that it's sending out wrong signals. Sure, the guy is in the wrong, but at least take some responsibility for your own safety.
I would think that all this is common sense...
Some people might call that blaming the victim but they're missing the point... it's like in martial arts, you don't fight not because you can't win but because you will mostly recieve some form of injury.
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On July 11 2012 21:27 VampireLady wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2012 11:32 Chill wrote:I don't find any of these legitimate sources. A real source is more than "this is what I think". You make bold claims and they require legitimate sources. FUCK. Like reread what you claim and then fucking prove it. These links you've provided are embarrassing when compared to your original claim. Those searches were just a quick google search came up with. Truth be told, if you are surprised or anaware of such a phenomenon i reckon you've been living under a rock because these sorts of surveys are done both nationally and internationally. Example. According to another dutch survey states " Places where women are predominantly subjected to sexual violence is at work and school ( 36 % ) ". Source : Emancipationmonitor 2006 ( http://www.seksueelgeweld.info/feiten_en_cijfers/omvang_seksueel_geweld/vrouwen_en_mannen ) " Between 40 and 50 percent of women in European Union countries experience unwanted sexual advancements, physical contact or other forms of sexual harassment at their workplace. " Source : UN Women Surveys http://www.unifem.org/gender_issues/violence_against_women/facts_figures.phpFuck. Open a paper every now and then these findings are nothing to be surprised of they hitt he papers every now and then.
Your first "source" claims that 10% has been raped at least once. Seems legit.
Second source is very vague. What do you categorize as sexual harassement? The numbers are simply through the roof. They must consider every attempt at flirting from a guy they don't like as "sexual harassement".
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On July 12 2012 02:18 Arcanefrost wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2012 21:27 VampireLady wrote:On July 11 2012 11:32 Chill wrote:I don't find any of these legitimate sources. A real source is more than "this is what I think". You make bold claims and they require legitimate sources. FUCK. Like reread what you claim and then fucking prove it. These links you've provided are embarrassing when compared to your original claim. Those searches were just a quick google search came up with. Truth be told, if you are surprised or anaware of such a phenomenon i reckon you've been living under a rock because these sorts of surveys are done both nationally and internationally. Example. According to another dutch survey states " Places where women are predominantly subjected to sexual violence is at work and school ( 36 % ) ". Source : Emancipationmonitor 2006 ( http://www.seksueelgeweld.info/feiten_en_cijfers/omvang_seksueel_geweld/vrouwen_en_mannen ) " Between 40 and 50 percent of women in European Union countries experience unwanted sexual advancements, physical contact or other forms of sexual harassment at their workplace. " Source : UN Women Surveys http://www.unifem.org/gender_issues/violence_against_women/facts_figures.phpFuck. Open a paper every now and then these findings are nothing to be surprised of they hitt he papers every now and then. Your first "source" claims that 10% has been raped at least once. Seems legit. Second source is very vague. What do you categorize as sexual harassement? The numbers are simply through the roof. They must consider every attempt at flirting from a guy they don't like as "sexual harassement".
Maybe if you took the liberty and effort to actually read you'd read that its the UN's definition of sexual harassment exactly described. Plus given that a huge number of cases are simply not reported due to the danger of losing their position or being ashamed. It is actually not very vague, its pretty vivid and the image sketched here simply describes what is going on in rough lines on the workplace.
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EPT
