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I want to share a story with you which happened over a past weekend at an event. I will not mention the company, because it was no fault of theirs directly, so if you happen to investigate and deduce which company, please don't have hard feelings for them because they've sufficiently handled the situation.
Anyhow, I want to share this with the ladies (and gents with girlfriends/wives/etc) just to warn you that it could have been MUCH worse if I hadn't spoken up, and if you find yourself in a similar situation, speak up sooner rather than later.
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I met one of the guys from one of the exhibitor booths at a fairly recent tournament I attended, and we talked about my media outlet, and what we do, and then went to dinner with his colleagues and him on the last day after the games. About two weeks later, he asked me if I knew anyone who would be able to come to [event] and help out because his boss wanted a girl there. I told him that I would like to go, and so he booked my flight and told me I was just staying in the hotel with him. Well, being in THIS community, I'm used to rooming with people for events, so I didn't give it a second thought. (I later learned that he's not a gamer at all, btw)
When I arrived at the airport, he and his colleague picked me up, we dropped off my stuff at the hotel, dropped off the equipment at the venue, and then took a tour of the city (his colleague lives there, and so he drove us around). We walked around for a while and did some sight-seeing, took some photos, and then had dinner and went back to the hotel. I showered and put on my super-conservative pj's, bra, t-shirt, long pants, the whole bit (WAY more than I'm used to wearing at home, for sure). Neither of us were tired, and so I suggested we play cards. He suggested we watch a movie. Either way – something to do. The movie ended, and I was just falling asleep when he started talking. Okay, so he's talking, no big deal. I was half asleep, so I don't really remember what about, but I told him it was time to sleep. He apologized and was quiet for a minute, but then proceeded to keep me awake all night asking me questions that became more and more personal... just talking and talking and talking... I probably told him 10+ times to just let me go to sleep. At this point, I was getting frustrated and really tired. Taking advantage of my lack of sleep, he got up next to me and put his arm around me, which I grumped at him for doing, and told him he needed to stop and let me sleep. He backed off, and went to sleep, as did I - for a total of one and a half hour before it was time to wake up and begin the day.
His colleague picked us up from the hotel, and I mentioned it in the car right in front of him that I was not able to sleep because he kept me awake talking all night. We worked an 11 hour day, fueled by energy drinks, had dinner, and got dropped off at the hotel once again. I thought we'd cleared up the “let me sleep” but apparently not. I was SO exhausted that I was in a fog of not really knowing what was going on by the time I'd finished showering and getting ready for bed so I could sleep and wake up early again, I don't do well on no sleep. I don't function well at all. Realizing this, he took it upon himself to rub my back, put his arm around me, and I was just like “whatever” and tried so hard to ignore him (my mistake, should have kicked him, but like I mentioned, I was in a fog of exhaustion and not thinking too clearly), but then he decided it would be a good idea to grab my behind and try to kiss me – at which point I woke up and said “Stop – I'm not going to kiss you. You need to be still and let me go to sleep. Do I need to tell [his colleague] to get me a different room?” He apologized and stopped, but then a minute later started again saying how he just couldn't help himself, and that he liked me too much, and now I was here, and so on. This went on for a while, and once again, no sleep. Finally, I guess I was enough of a bitch that he quit and went to sleep, so then I did as well – for a whole hour again.
The next day, at the venue, obviously super-tired and quite flustered, I told his colleague about his actions, and asked if I could stay elsewhere. We figured out a plan for the rest of the weekend which was better, but not ideal. He asked one of the girls from a different company (who he knew from other events, and I had met before as well) if I could stay with her, and so she was really nice to house me for the next two days so I could finally sleep.
His colleague later told me that the company was under the impression that, when hotel plans were made, I was just going to stay with friends in the area, so they didn't need to book me a room. (That was never the actual plan.)
His colleague reported everything to HR, and I've already talked to them. I made a few friends out of the ordeal, but it was much less than an ideal 'work' weekend. Thinking back, I should have just asked for a different room the first night that went awry, but I've learned that I'm too nice, I guess.
Girls, don't be too nice. I will be requesting my own room from now on if I'm invited to events by companies. It could have been so much worse if I had not said anything, and I'm glad I wasn't too ashamed to tell someone.
 
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Russian Federation142 Posts
Did he look like a guido too? Tell me he looked like a guido.
I hate on sexual harassment lawsuits but then I remember that crap like this occurs.
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God, when I started reading this story, I knew it was an impending doom >___<
As soon as he kissed you or started becoming annoying, you should have 1. told the colleague, 2. request a room-switch or refuse to work and 3. tell that horny fuck to fuck off and die.
Glad things worked out, though you should have been clear from the beginning, keeping quiet isn't the mature and civilized thing to do when someone's being immature and aggravating.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
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Honestly, I'm just happy that nothing too crazy ended up happening. When you're asked to attend an event and represent a company, it isnt that naive to be trusting. It seems simple. You both have a job to do and you had met said guy previously. What also gets at me is that the rest of the people in charge didnt seem to know you were in the room with him, which means that he went behind the company's back in inviting you to stay in his room. A lot of companies big and small actually are not into having people of opposite genders share rooms for that specific reason.
I am really sad that you had to go through that because I know that you were excited to go work there.
I think you handled it pretty well for the situation. Night 1 wasn't too bad, but night 2 was just 'get the hell out of there,' which you did do.
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Honestly, he sounded like a total dick.
There are some things in life that you just do not do and it sounded like he was trying to make this a company-sponsored pick up.
Honestly, did the hotel room have one or two beds? If just one, then I must say that he was WAY out of line for inviting you over.
And, before I continue with this post, I am going to divulge a disclaimer: I am not in any way, shape, or form homophobic, I am open minded and have worked at one establishment where I was the only heterosexual male at one point, but I can say I've been in the OP's shoes before.
Hormones- guys have them, sometimes they can be uncontrollable. I remember one place I worked at, a guy was constantly whistling at me, and I very bluntly said to him, several different times "I am not gay." Ok, sure, whatever, the whistling continues, I guess it's just a joke. Then I sit down to eat my lunch and study Chinese. The guy starts flirting with me and putting his hand on mine in this "rubbing" motion. I started to feel nauseous and creeped the fuck out because he was serious. I consulted my manager, and that was the end of that. Adding to that, the guy was taller and stronger than me.
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United States2513 Posts
Sometimes that "If at first you don't succeed try, try again..." kind of attitude isn't the right attitude to have... :/
Obviously talking about him. Sounds like a loser.
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Definitely could have ended much worse than it did, glad that he didn't try anything further as soon as you spoke up and pushed him away though. Then it'd be much more than just an HR complaint...
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I understand what happened. This situation shall change the way female members of the eSports community should be treated when seeking accommodations. What happened to Brightside was totally unacceptable! That man treated her with no respect & no dignity, whatsoever.
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Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
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^ I agree with you on this.
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On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
Yeah, seriously. This could have got very rapey. You are in some ways lucky he backed off. Silly silly choice and many girls need a good dose of survival sense.
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Taking advantage of my lack of sleep, he got up next to me and put his arm around me, which I grumped at him for doing, and told him he needed to stop and let me sleep. He backed off, and went to sleep, as did I - for a total of one and a half hour before it was time to wake up and begin the day.
That's the moment where I'd recommend to my gf to establish a VERY clear line. The whole talking part is excusable to some extent but this certainly is not. Be aware of where your phone is from this point on.
Really happy things didn't go really out of hand, but please be more careful if something similar comes up. If I was you I'd make enough noise that this guy gets fired. You won't be the last girl that "his boss wants at an event" if you don't.
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Obviously the guy is at fault here, but yeah, like mentioned, sharing a hotel room with a male that's a complete stranger as a girl?
It's sad but true, but doing stuff like that in our world ''somewhat'' safely is a privilege reserved solely for men.
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Didnt realise you were a girl. I thought the guy was gay since I didnt read line by line....
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Most rapey blog I've ever read. 5.
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He seems like a jerk, but it might not have been entirely his fault as well.
I mean, everything is written from your perspective and there is a lot of crucial information
missing to denounce him as a total jerk.
First of all, i dont know how the situation exactly was, so im going to make a few assumptions:
1 - 1 bed or 2 beds? If its only 1 bed, then its already wrong of you for accepting that invitation.
2 - Seems like you are a very nice person. As a male its easy to misunderstand. Don't end up getting too
friendly on someone you don't know, especially if you are going to sleep at the same room/bed.
With that said, ofcourse its mostly his fault and you should say something about it when something
like this occurs. Its completely unacceptable what he did and he should be told when he's crossing the line.
I mean, if someones talking all the time and you need to sleep, just tell him to stfu. Don't just go uh-huh and pretend
your listening. Just be straight when something starts anoyying you. Again, make sure to warn when someone
crosses a line instead of letting them.
Ofcourse its mostly his fault. You are both there for work so he should act professionally.
Just remember that males arent the same as females and that you should always set borders
which shouldnt be crossed.
Thanks for read anyway ^^
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On July 09 2012 17:11 theBALLS wrote:
Don't agree to share a hotel room alone with a stranger. That was silly on your part.
Well, it was a person from her company, not a totally random dude... That person will suffer consequences for anything he does and is a working normal member of society. However, obviously he missed the mark on how she percieved him and needed something absurdly firm (somehow something more than 'no' although we don't know how sternly she said it).
It sounds like a pretty shitty experience, OP! Definitely not a bad idea to ask for your own room in the future. Honestly, even tho it's a person from your company, I still think it would be weird to sleep in the same room with someone I didn't really trust on a personal level. I think because of that, and because it is rare for women to share rooms with men, he probably took the very fact that you were willing to share a room with him as some kind of implicit interest in him. It wasn't the case, but I think if he's a relatively normal person otherwise that's got to be the centre of misunderstanding.
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I don't understand OP, what's your job?
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On July 09 2012 22:00 Kukaracha wrote:
I don't understand OP, what's your job?
Checking her twitter,
I'm guessing she is an "eSports Community Manager" or "Public relations coordinator", as her twitter does state that she is trying to get girls more involved with starcraft. Maybe she was offered this job that she's blogging about because they needed a pretty face to advertise something.
She has already said she doesn't want to go into details about the thing that happened, so... Let's leave it at that.
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EPT
