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** Disclaimer: this is long **
I wrote this two hours ago as the response to someone elses blog under the same title. They were whining that they had a crush, and everyone was complaining that it was a short and crappy girl blog. By the time I finished writing this, that blog must have been deleted, because its not here any more. This is written in second person for that reason.
** End Disclaimer **
You have no idea what the worst kind of crush is. You think that sitting in a class with someone you kinda think is a 7 or 8 while the rest of the class is a 6 is bad? You don't know whether you have a chance yet, because you haven't asked and it's not like you're really involved in this anyways, it's just a small fantasy you've got. You have no idea, man.
I'll tell you the worst kind of crush. You move to a new school. 8th grade. No real thoughts about girls other than not particularly interested in getting yourself wrapped up. They're trying to decide what math class to put you in, the advanced algebra or algebra 2, and as it turns out you're in algebra 1. No real biggy. But while seeing the algebra 2 class you notice Felicity. You don't really think about it at all, but she's in another one of your classes too. And in algebra 1 you're really bored, but whatever.
You're somewhat lonely the entire year. Never get into any real friendship circles, but for some reason everyone keeps going on about how cool you're hair is. You meet a bunch of people, identify the cliques, but everyone's already got their own group. You make "friends" but no one is really close. No one you can really talk to.
Remember Felicity? Yeah well you see her every day, and notice that she's really smart, studies hard and stuff. She's really cute too, but you don't notice that, you're in 8th grade. And you know what you value above pretty much all else? Intellect. Yah, it's nerdy, but that's what you think is cool.
So the year goes by and you have this life studies class. Stupid class doesn't teach anything. But they have these private journals where they ask a two personal questions every day or so, and you write down the answer in the journal. Or maybe they were regular questions and only one day they were personal, whatever. So one day the question is "If you had to marry someone, anyone, right now, who would it be?" Tough question. but it gets you thinking. Felicity is the smartest girl you know. Come to think of it she's not bad looking either. Out of all the people you know (you don't know anyone particularly well) she's the most likely to turn out to be someone you could live with. So you wirte down Felicity.
Next day the guy who sits next to you has clearly looked in your journal. Well fuck. You talk to him, he's like "your secret's safe with me." and you're like "it's not like that", but now you're thinking. Well yah, she's attractive. You like her more than all the other girls. But do you really want her?
So the dance comes, and you really kinda want to invite her, maybe, maybe no. Turns out you run out of time before deciding to ask her. We'll you'll try to ask her to dance sometime when you're there. You get to the dance, and do some solo dancing and everyone's like "Kirby!! you're so awesome at dancing!!! OMG!!" So now you're known for being good at dancing and your hair and being really good at algebra even though you're not in the algebra two class where you really should be with Felicity. So as the dance floor gets packed it kinda cramps your style, but you're looking for Felicity to dance with her. Someone else asks you to dance, and you dance for like 30 sec with her, but you've only got eyes for one girl, Felicity. You finally find Felicity and you ask her to dance, but she does the same thing to you that you did to the other girl. Oh well. then later the dance ends before anything else notable happens.
You want to let Felicity know you like her so you write a really nerdy cryptic love note involving math and graphing. You slip it into her stuff hoping she'll notice it later when she gets home, but she notice it and asks you (with a friend of hers) if you gave it and you awkwardly reply yeah, and she probably thinks its kinda creepy.
[It's getting really painful to write this, but I know you guys were looking for a legit girl blog, and this one didn't live up]
8th grade ends.
Now let me just mention your foolish conceptions of love. You think that if you love someone, you'll always keep loving them. You'll go at whatever the cost. You'll put their happiness above your happiness always. You think that persistance and kindness will win in the end. You never give up.
Freshman year. You've got no classes with Felicity first semester, but you still see her around. Homecoming is coming up. Alright, you're gonna have balls this time. No procrastinating (alright, a little, but you eventually man up). What's the worst that could happen? She says no? So you ask her one friday morning, "Hey, do you want to go to homecoming with me?" and she says, "Let me think about it." So that means theres a chance!
Monday morning you ask her, and she says "I'd rather go with my friends." FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKK. This hurts, even like 5 years later when your writing this. Well, shit. You think you don't even want to go now. But your friend are like "You're so good at dancing! You have to go." so you go anyways, and dance by yourself.
Nothing happens again till second semester, now you're in Bio with her. Valentines day came up, you craft her something cute heart shaped using supplies you got in art class, and show it to no man. You give it to her, and she's just like thanks.
The rest of the year slips by.
Even these two years you still have no close friends. You've told literally no one about Felicity except her. All your feelings are stuck in there bottled up.
Sophomore year, you ask her to Homecoming again. This year she says that she's not going. Ahhh.... this sucks. Couldn't? nope. won't work. But maybe? nope. You still barely know much about her except that she's really smart, really attractive, and likes the white sox. You've never had any long conversations with her. But that seems normal to you because you've never had any long conversations with anyone. You barely know what she thinks of you except that she clearly doesn't want to dance with you. Does she think you're a creep? Nerdy? Ugly? She's never mean to you. But she never goes out of her way to talk to you either. You wonder if you would prefer if she faked liking you just because she felt bad for you. You can't decide if you would want it, but it doesn't matter because shes not going to anyways.
You also wouldn't care if you became "just friends" with her. You don't care about kissing her, or holding hands, or making sweet love. You just want to talk to her. Get to know her. More importantly, let her get to know you. Because you haven't let anyone really get to know you ever. No one's been that interested in you as far as you know.
So near the end of the year, you hear she's taking AP Psychology next year, so you put that in your schedule too. You have other reasons, and you use them all as an excuse to yourself, but you really just want to be in another class with her (You've been in about 1-2/year with her so far).
This is junior year now. No luck with the Psych, you're in a different section. Oh well.
You ask her to HC again, but this time she says "Oh, that so sweet. But Matt already asked me." And man, it boils inside. Sweet! It's not, sweet, it's bitter. Make you think of that candy sweettarts. But its way worse than sweet tarts. It's bittersweet with 5 parts bitter and 1 part sweet.
Fucking sucky year. This entire time you're one math class behind her. You're in geometry, she's in precalc. You're in calc, she's in AP Calc. Also, she has more friends than you. She has closer friends than you. She gets better grades than you. She probably has people whom she contacts in non-scholastic ways. What I mean here is that evn though you are in an extra-curricular activity after school pretty much every day of every year, you have no friends who will call you at home. or invite you to hang out on the weekends. Or do anything with you ever unless it's related to school or an extracurricular. You manage to ask your closest friend once or twice, but you're shy, and they say like maybe sometime or no or something like that and you never ask again.
So not only are you madly in love with Felicity, you're also jealous of her life. She has the ideal fantasy suburban life, complete even to the guy who is madly in love with her whom she pays no attension to her, while you're a socially depraved nerd, and you're not even as smart as her.
You heard someswhere that she's into theatre and stuff like that, or she did the musical one time. And since the swim team's schedule had sucked so much sophomore year (you shared the pool with another school every other week), you quit that last year and now you need something to eat up all your hour in the winter. So you decide to try out for the winter play.
She's not actually in the winter play, but it's pretty fun. But you know she will be in the musical that spring. So you make a decision. You quit track. You're gonna go to the musical. How do you know you're gonna make it? You have testicles. (there's a shortage of guys in this schools theatre). You've never really sung except two years choir when you were like 6. So you give up your lunch period, and join choir too. You get a pretty worthless part as a cowboy extra guy (one tiny scene where people are actually looking at you). So much for trying to impress her. Some freshman gets to be her brother. Well, he is better at acting than you, but fuck.
Nothing else happens of note that year. except that she apparently dated some guy who you respected for some unknown amount of time. (You are totally out of the loop, don't get any gossip). She might have dated Matt too. or Chris. You don't know, you just love her, you don't stalk her.
Senior year comes around. This year you don't ask her to HC. You join choir and Madrigals (a medeval singing group that sings christmas carols and the like) partly because you want to be with Felicity, partly because you actually like singing. And Madrigals is tough. Theres so many song to learn, and relearn, becasue you're a Bass and you're used to singing the melody line, which is completely different. And you never learned verses 2, 3 and 4. So you're not impressing her here either. Not only are you jealous that shes got more friends and smarter than you, but she's also better at singing. And she plays violin too. And piano. You play piano too, but shes better than you at that too.
Sometime this year nick, someone who never liked you, and for no reason too, who is a closer friend to Felicity than you even though he's generally a dick to pretty much everyone make fun of you for being so unsuccessful with her. You ask him who told him about that, and he says Felicity. Damn that hurts.
After a concert some time, you manage to be in a room alone with Felicity. You use this line "You are loved by me. I say that in passive voice because you are not the direct object of my love, but the subject." She thinks thats sweet too but gets out of there as fast as she can.
Later, before christmas break, you give her a book, because she likes reading. You give her this huge book, (very good, but huge) Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel, a book about 18th century wizards. You ask her about it after break, "Did you read it?" And she says she did and she liked it, but she obviously hasn't. That hurts.
You wonder what college she's going to. For some time it sound like she might go to U of I, the same college you're going to. You hope, for your sake that she doesn't go there because then you'll be hopeless in unrequited love for another four years because you're too dumb to snap out of it.
You do the spring musical again, this time getting a cooler part, as a dude who sings in fucking chinese. That shits hard. But you pull through. You even have a scene where you kiss another girl, but it's not Felicity, and it would be awkward, so you two decide to fake it. You ask her to prom, but who would've guessed, nope nope nope. You were still have hope that she would suddenly change, fucking fantasies in your mind diriving you crazy.
Prom come along, you try to have fun, and you dance your heart out (dancing is fun, and other people think you're good at it, so why not?). About mid way through you ask Felicity to come out and talk to her. She's a bit reluctant, but you say, relax, this isn't like that, so she comes. You talk about how you liked her in a very abbrevieated fasion, and say, goodbye, nice knowing you, and ask if she ever really graphed that first thing you gave to her back in 8th grade. She says nope. You say you'll graph it for her and give it to her at graduation.
At graduation, you follow through, graphing two parabola, and an absolute value as an inequality so that the inside is shaded in. Like this:
.......y-axis
...........^
...........|
.....oo..|..oo
....oooo|oooo
-----ooooooo--------------------> x-axis
......ooooo
........oo
.........|
.........|
And that's the last you ever see of her.
Now you're finish up at 6 am what you started writing at 4 am about the worst four years of your life, which ended a year ago. On a slightly happier note, the first year of college was fucking awesome, but you're still mister forever alone.
TL;DR: That, my friends, is the worst kind of crush.
Edit: the original blog I was posting this to wasn't actually deleted, it's here.
 
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Thanks for sharing. At the very least, blogging is a catharsis for the mind of the blogger
Do you know what the worst kind of crush is? Read Love in the Time of Cholera
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I'm doing a small study on girl blogs-
could you let me know how large your social circle is? and the percentage of girls?
Am I correct in assuming this was your only crush?
Thanks for the input
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I highly doubt she's going to live up to your expectations now.
Act like your over her, the fastest way is to get with someone else.
Who knows, maybe you'll like that someone else more anyway.
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This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you.
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On June 28 2012 20:31 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
I highly doubt she's going to live up to your expectations now.
Act like your over her, the fastest way is to get with someone else.
Who knows, maybe you'll like that someone else more anyway.
Oh now I know that we would be terrible together. I think I act like I'm over her, and I think I am over her, but the pain... the pain still lingers.
If I did see her again, I don't know what I'd do. But I've been lucky so far.
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On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you.
I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up.
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I think I'm Matt. Sorry bro.
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I kinda know that feel, bro... I'm just on the 2nd year, though...
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I echo what Arcanefrost said. With all that's said and done, hope the lessons learned here will help you in the future.
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On June 28 2012 21:00 AXygnus wrote:
I kinda know that feel, bro... I'm just on the 2nd year, though...
For your own sake, fight it bro! There will be a girl who is cute and nice to you, but she's not the one you "love". You won't think much about her. But for the sake of posterity, I'm telling you to go for her! Talk to her for no reason, maybe ask her out. You know who she is if you think hard enough. Cheat on your misguided sense of futile devotion!
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Um the life of man, fuck em, love em, hate em, dump em
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Wow that was indeed long as promised. Typical nerd problems!! Overthinking in the extreme. Glad you are getting over it. The gymnastics people can do in their mind to justify wasting huge amounts of time pining over a girl who either shows little interest in them or doesn't even know they feel that way are incredible and tragic. It takes balls to put your problems in a blog, especially where you talk about something that still hurts you, so gj.
Just...the second you decide you want a girl, dive in and ask her out :D!
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On June 28 2012 21:26 jcroisdale wrote:
Um the life of man, fuck em, love em, hate em, dump em
Except for the fuck em and the dump em?
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Seeker
Where dat snitch at?36996 Posts
You should have just given up.....
I would know. I made the same mistake you did :/
You're always hopeful. Every smile, every laugh, every conversation is a spark of hope that makes you think "maybe she likes me now."
But it's not.... she's just leading you on.
From what I've read she sounds like a bitch :/
But seriously, you should have given up
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I kept reading hoping you would eventually get her. Damn.
I wish there were someone like Felicity here though, most of the girls in my area are too boring.
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Very nice read mate. Those 4 years might have sucked, but atleast you made a nice blog about it 
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Thank you for this.
I can relate to it so much more than I'd like to...
Sometimes things just suck.
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On June 28 2012 22:01 Garnet wrote:
I kept reading hoping you would eventually get her. Damn.
I wish there were someone like Felicity here though, most of the girls in my area are too boring.
Felicity doesn't exactly sound like the epitome of exitement to me tbh...
But I feel for ya OP... Everyone has a crush now and then that is bound to fail from the start.. It just seems that that message seems to take some time to get across for you.. I do commend you on being able to suck up your pride and ask her time and time again. Usually I'm to proud to do that kind of stuff. But regarding getting over her: If there's one thing I've learned over the years is that sometimes your emotions/feelings are really being assholes and need to be bitchslapped and ignored. Seriously, it sounds harsh, but (imo) it's useful to "train" yourself in controlling your emotions and feelings through your common sense. Just don't over do it or you'll become some kind of robot..
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On June 28 2012 22:01 Garnet wrote:
I kept reading hoping you would eventually get her. Damn.
I wish there were someone like Felicity here though, most of the girls in my area are too boring.
Thanks for rooting for me and making me feel sane.
On June 28 2012 22:02 Amestir wrote:Very nice read mate. Those 4 years might have sucked, but atleast you made a nice blog about it
On June 28 2012 22:15 xSTaRFiSHx wrote:
Thank you for this.
I can relate to it so much more than I'd like to...
Sometimes things just suck.
Glad you liked it. You're welcome.
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Worst kind of crush can be generalized as you love her with all your heart, you do whatever you can and still suffer the worst pain in the world. Welcome to the club man.
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that's obsession, and pretty creepy to boot!
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please dont tell me you were serious about that fucking graph
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please don't stop loving! let your heart keep speeding along. I went through this too, and now that the emotions are gone, it seems like a silly beginner's mistake. strange how we're all so similar. i blame the movies and fiction of our culture! we all think small romantic gestures are the way to deepen love. I don't know what the way is.
I found it hilarious yet sad when you "heard she likes reading" and "gave her a book on 18th century wizards!" As cool as that sounds, it is advisable to not do something like that again. The topic of that book is one for people with really particular interests in my opinion. the thought process of this decision indicates that your interest was merely superficial. if you had had the requisite emotions or experiences to really understand Felicity, likely you'd choose a different book.
also, you seem overly concerned with image. so what if you are known for your hair? so what if she plays piano better? if you just stopped focusing on these aspects of life your emotions would have less content to throw you for a loop with. nawmean? GL HF
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On June 29 2012 00:33 krndandaman wrote:
the book, grammar pickup line, and the graph all had me face palming...
I know right? I was pretty bad.
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this is what restraining orders were made for
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Well, sounds like you were a bit obsessed and certainly didn't know her well enough to actually love her.
But on the positive side, at least you tried. Yeah, she didn't like you and it hurts, but at least you put yourself out there and made your feelings clear. It's better than spending the rest of your life wondering whether you might have missed an opportunity.
Anyway, you sound a lot like me but braver and a better dancer.
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United States10099 Posts
wow. chased someone for so long? damn that sucks. not even one dance with you. man that sucks. she sounds like a bitch who doesnt care about other people feelings.
you give her presents, and she doesnt even looks at them. at least give it back so he can give it to someone else.
life sucks man, but you have to stay strong and get over it. there are other girls out there.
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On June 29 2012 00:51 a176 wrote:
this is what restraining orders were made for
I kind of see where you where you are coming from, I see how what I was doing was a bit creepy.
However, I doubt I did anything worthy of a restraining order. I sent her the (rare) love note. I decided to join activities and that decision was partially influenced by her. But I did not: call her, follow her, or continue to do something that she asked me not to.
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On June 29 2012 01:04 jrkirby wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 00:51 a176 wrote:
this is what restraining orders were made for I kind of see where you where you are coming from, I see how what I was doing was a bit creepy. However, I doubt I did anything worthy of a restraining order. I sent her the (rare) love note. I decided to join activities and that decision was partially influenced by her. But I did not: call her, follow her, or continue to do something that she asked me not to.
was a joke
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Soo much rejection...Bro with your swagger you should of been a player because its not like NO ever stopped you from trying...
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On June 29 2012 01:49 iTzSnypah wrote:
Soo much rejection...Bro with your swagger you should of been a player because its not like NO ever stopped you from trying...
I hope it isn't too late for me 
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On June 29 2012 01:52 jrkirby wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 01:49 iTzSnypah wrote:
Soo much rejection...Bro with your swagger you should of been a player because its not like NO ever stopped you from trying... I hope it isn't too late for me
Of course it isn't :p You just have to learn to move on after a girl says no. Almost all nice guys made this mistake once in their life I think, lesson learnt is that when you like someone you move fast, and if she doesn't like you simply move on right away.
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On June 28 2012 20:54 Zorkmid wrote:
I think I'm Matt. Sorry bro.
No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Can we confirm this??
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On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:Show nested quote +On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up.
While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change.
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On June 29 2012 03:13 NuKedUFirst wrote:Show nested quote +On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up. While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change.
Very quickly too, find a reason to talk to her for a little while, but show no intention of talking to her after that
e.g 'Hey, look, I'm moving house soon, and it'd be somehow nice to talk to you before I go'
Even if it's a lie, treat it like the truth for both you and her, make it feel like closure, you really need it.
Don't have any hopes for it, but on the off chance you hit it off, well, profit.
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On June 29 2012 03:05 Zealos wrote:No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Can we confirm this??
I highly doubt it.
On June 29 2012 08:38 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 03:13 NuKedUFirst wrote:On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up. While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change. Very quickly too, find a reason to talk to her for a little while, but show no intention of talking to her after that e.g 'Hey, look, I'm moving house soon, and it'd be somehow nice to talk to you before I go' Even if it's a lie, treat it like the truth for both you and her, make it feel like closure, you really need it. Don't have any hopes for it, but on the off chance you hit it off, well, profit.
I will not attempt to talk to her again. I wont purposely avoid her, but seeing as we go to different colleges, and I'm not the type that "get's out" alot, I haven't seen her in over a year, and quite possibly never will again. I am ok with this.
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Great read, it happens to the best of us. If shes not interested move on, shouldnt bog yourself down for too long >.<
show them your sweet dance moves
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the content of your story is so awkward and creepy it is cringeworthy
you have the excuse of high school naivety though
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On June 29 2012 08:38 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 03:13 NuKedUFirst wrote:On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up. While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change. Very quickly too, find a reason to talk to her for a little while, but show no intention of talking to her after that e.g 'Hey, look, I'm moving house soon, and it'd be somehow nice to talk to you before I go' Even if it's a lie, treat it like the truth for both you and her, make it feel like closure, you really need it. Don't have any hopes for it, but on the off chance you hit it off, well, profit.
this is really stupid and pitiful. I think the op has done enough to embarass himself
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Well, internet its a beatifull place, no1 really know who ar you, and you can let it go from your chest, without fear of been judge.
You got a lot of corage to ask over and over again to her go out with you. Its show that you ar not totally retard like me. :D
Anyway, nice read. Hope the best for you, and you can get what you ar looking for.
Edit: Sorry for my english ...Sometimes i cant understand what im trying to say either.
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On June 29 2012 09:28 jrkirby wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 03:05 Zealos wrote:On June 28 2012 20:54 Zorkmid wrote:
I think I'm Matt. Sorry bro. No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Can we confirm this?? I highly doubt it. Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 08:38 Cyber_Cheese wrote:On June 29 2012 03:13 NuKedUFirst wrote:On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up. While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change. Very quickly too, find a reason to talk to her for a little while, but show no intention of talking to her after that e.g 'Hey, look, I'm moving house soon, and it'd be somehow nice to talk to you before I go' Even if it's a lie, treat it like the truth for both you and her, make it feel like closure, you really need it. Don't have any hopes for it, but on the off chance you hit it off, well, profit. I will not attempt to talk to her again. I wont purposely avoid her, but seeing as we go to different colleges, and I'm not the type that "get's out" alot, I haven't seen her in over a year, and quite possibly never will again. I am ok with this.
clearly not, you just wrote a massive blog about her
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I've been through that, except that I never had the balls to say anything cause I knew she'd say no anyway. 4 years of dying inside every single day, of everyone making snide remarks and jokes(because everyone somehow knew about it, including her), of terrible awkward silences. Fuck it, I'm still not over her. I'll probably never be.
Obsession is a tough beast to kill
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On June 30 2012 00:06 Elegance wrote:Show nested quote +On June 29 2012 09:28 jrkirby wrote:On June 29 2012 03:05 Zealos wrote:On June 28 2012 20:54 Zorkmid wrote:
I think I'm Matt. Sorry bro. No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Can we confirm this?? I highly doubt it. On June 29 2012 08:38 Cyber_Cheese wrote:On June 29 2012 03:13 NuKedUFirst wrote:On June 28 2012 20:49 jrkirby wrote:On June 28 2012 20:40 Arcanefrost wrote:
This isn't a crush, it's an obsession. You should have stopped trying after the first time she said no, you can't force someone to like you. I know that now. And to some degree I knew that then too. Back then I was considering writing a song: I want to hate you (but I can't). I never did write it. But that pretty much sums things up. While you can't force someone to like you, opinions on a person can change. Very quickly too, find a reason to talk to her for a little while, but show no intention of talking to her after that e.g 'Hey, look, I'm moving house soon, and it'd be somehow nice to talk to you before I go' Even if it's a lie, treat it like the truth for both you and her, make it feel like closure, you really need it. Don't have any hopes for it, but on the off chance you hit it off, well, profit. I will not attempt to talk to her again. I wont purposely avoid her, but seeing as we go to different colleges, and I'm not the type that "get's out" alot, I haven't seen her in over a year, and quite possibly never will again. I am ok with this. clearly not, you just wrote a massive blog about her
Having someone or in this case somewhere to rattle away is perfectly normal. If you were obsessed with that one girl for 4 years you would be a little agitated yourself when talking about her even after a year.
@OP: Sounds like you are better off without her anyway  Knowing someone is pining for your and not making things clear isn't really nice of her. Good luck with your search for true love ^^
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Relatable. Haha XD
Now I'm wondering if something similar has happened to other people.
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EPT
