HA! Successful blog, fuck yeah. Sorry for responding late guys, few things distracted me.
On May 11 2012 17:10 Turbovolver wrote:Show nested quote +On May 11 2012 16:34 beetlelisk wrote:
I don't really dress like a geek I think, I will buy TL shirt at some point though.
edit and you know what I know a gorgeous girl, a friend's friend and huge anime fan (she's into bishounen characters btw :D), the only problem is she lives in another city, like 400 kilometers from mine.
That's a good point. Not everyone is into what a lot of people might assume the optimal-looking guy looks like. Indeed looks aren't that important, but I think the "aura" you project can be, and clothes come into that a lot.
Yeah. I read statistics that even at work, those who dress good earn 5-10% more.
Speaking of bishounen characters, that's the look I tend to go for, very feminine. This is polarising but seems to work better with geeky and Asian girls. I actually think it's an overlal poor choice to go for attracting girls because it's quite out there and puts a lot off, but it's what makes me feel confident and attractive, which is the more important thing.
I'm telling you, she is one of the most attractive girls I have met in my life. And this shows again why having no respect for myself fucking sucks balls - I haven't mailed her in years, last time I saw her was I think summer year ago when she was visiting Warsaw to go to anime convent. I'm going to call her and talk with her, just got her number from my SC:BW friend who knows her. Damn I should really do this ages ago. Hmm not sure what I can add about being with attractive girls... yeah it definitely would make more confident if I would be with one.
I think it's very important to pick a style you like and go for that. A lot of guys, especially geekier guys, feel completely uninterested in fashion, or they simply think up a list of bad things to avoid and think if they don't do any big no-nos then they are fine. But even if they successfully avoid those faux-pas, if you aren't projecting a message with your clothes, whatever that might be, you are missing out on a great opportunity both to increase your confidence and to get noticed. No matter what style you go for, aiming to go for a style at all is IMO a great way to increase your own confidence, and to help when picking out clothes and such. It will make you more interested in fashion, and while you can certainly be TOO into fashion for most (e.g. me), I think the average TL poster could stand to be more interested in it!
I'm not sure how much into fashion I'm going to be and yeah I think I have my own style. The only problem is I haven't been shopping in a loooong time and I think I could use some new clothes. I do care about what I wear, definitely.
On May 11 2012 17:31 DN.rSquar3d wrote:
Wearing a TL shirt isn't really too geeky IMO; I think it even makes you look great, because it shows you are passionate about something. Girls love passionate and dedicated men; they also like men that are themselves.
Men are supposed to think for themselves and be themselves; that's because the common perception is we're supposed to be strong enough to protect girls. If we're spineless, just follow others, etc., just like those jocks that don't think for themselves, that sends a negative message because that means that the guy isn't independent enough to protect his girl.
Hmm I'm going to be safe in financial terms no problem but in terms of physically protecting my girl I definitely need to go to a gym.
Being natural is everything. If you're faking anything, girls absolutely hate it, and they will easily notice it (like a jock trying to be intelligent or a geek posing as a total jock). And don't set your bar too low or high; don't set a bar at all. Just go with the flow; any girl can be appealing, it all depends on your personal tastes. And looks, as far as I'm concerned, are becoming less and less of an issue; I want a girl that can actually listen to me, ride along my tastes (figuratively, not literally >:D), and is intelligent. I'd rather have an average-looking girl that has those rather than a hot chick that's dull.
I think I'm the same, I'd rather be with an intelligent girl than stupid chick. I'm not sure how much picky am I going to be for now as I am hungry of a relationship but I think it just wouldn't work out, trying to be with a stupid chick.
And have fun while you're at it, too; if a girl says no, it'll be devastating if you took things too seriously. But, if it all works out, then great; if you think it'll work out, by all means, take it seriously.
I think I'm going to have casual approach in the beginning and become more serious during the progress... I will try to have fun as much as I can.
And don't go for the roses and chocolates approach. My dates are often very wild and unexpected. A few times I brought a girl to a theater presentation; others I went mountain climbing with; some I brought along to my tournaments; and, the most extreme cases, I brought them along some of my research-related trips in college. That's how it is. Don't be boring and predictable; be unexpected. Break expectations. You're a geek, but you sure as hell have a broader range than jocks, and therefore you're more fun and they can learn more from you.
Yeah, dating is going to be problematic as hell. I may have broader range of interests than jocks but I'm by no means spontaneous. It's one of the most difficult issues for me. I think I'm going to google "where can I can take my girl for a date in Warsaw".
On May 11 2012 19:29 ScruffyJanitor wrote:Show nested quote +On May 11 2012 16:12 PiGStarcraft wrote:On May 11 2012 15:23 ScruffyJanitor wrote:
I went to school with the girl I’m currently dating. It’s been about 15 months, we met at school. I actually thought she was her older sister and added her cause I thought she was a babe, turns out I added her sister.
Lot’s of bullshit and hanging out and shit and then finally we dated, now yeah. I’m actually pretty over my relationship. There’s “love” but I don’t feel the same as I use to. There’s no passion or anything exciting, I don’t really care on the days I don’t see her. I once tried to break up with her a few months ago but she cried so much I literally felt that horrible I had to take her back. I convinced myself for a while I wanted to be with her but I have no idea anymore. Shes is a year younger then me, so she’s still in school and I’m fresh out of school and working full time. I read somewhere most couples that are together no longer feel the same but are to scared to break up with one and other (It was worded a fuck load more poetically then that).
Other then that I was somewhat like you a while ago, massive nerd all that shit. I just started going to parties and got my first few hook ups from drinking which gave me confidence when I wasn’t drunk. After I got confidence I moved on through a massive jerk stage, I got with a few girls but was just an absolute dick to them. I mean I regret it so bad but I apologised to them later in life and everything’s fine now.
Now I sit here wondering if I even want to be with this girl anymore.
You say there's "love". Trust me if you're putting love in quotation marks it isn't love.
Your situation happens a lot with people who start dating in high school. You've relied on each other a huge amount in a period of your life when you're still developing and now are too afraid to move apart despite no longer loving each other.
If you aren't sure you love someone than man up and break it off. Giving up breaking up because she cried a lot shows that your only feelings for her are pity and zero respect. If you had any true respect or love for her you would be man enough to break it off. If there is no passion then the relationship is over. Don't overthink it, just end it now and get on enjoying your youth.
Feelings come and go, it's really confusing. You kinda make me sound like a massive dick, having no respect and shit. Its nothing like that, its I care for her and don't want to hurt her. Or maybe your right who knows. I broke it off with her once but she would not give in, showing up to my work, constant texting (just texting small talk and it broke my heart, was so sad) it was insane. I never had time to figure it out because I couldn't stand the crying and shit so I took her back.
I think you have to do something, no mater what it is. Talk with her about issues you have, maybe really the situation can be salvaged.
I don't have much other advice for you OP, you'll find a girl that will give you confidence and you can build up on that. I was a shy boy and lost my virginity to a massive whore and then kinda went from there. I thought it would be sunshine and lollipops till I found out how many other guys she has had sex with >_<
:D thanks!
On May 11 2012 20:32 DN.rSquar3d wrote:
@ScruffyJanitor,
It's pretty easy to end things, relatively speaking. The key is cutting off all lines of communication, if she isn't willing to talk things through. Try telling her that you don't like her anymore. If she doesn't, but you're aware that you'll end up hurting her in the long run, break it off completely. Unfriend in Facebook, block, change phone numbers, etc., doesn't matter how you do it as long as you do it.
I'm not sure if I like this, I would rather go for a longer process of breaking up and then change my phone number etc.
On May 11 2012 21:01 Th1rdEye wrote:
I feel in a similar situation as you OP, however, I understand that being negative and having a lack of confidence is killer for sure.
I've been semi "rejected" from the past couple of girls, and there were a couple that I was too scared to go for in my past.
But I will state that any time I've been in a relationship, it's come when I least expected it.
One thing that really helps my self confidence is thinking about mortality. It's actually pretty simple.. have you ever actually sat down and stared the fact you WILL die and how "scary" (or not) it could be? Your mind tends to want to jump away to a different topic very fast.. but usually this reminds me of how important it is to enjoy my life because while there is a timer set on my life, I really will never know how long the timer is set for.
^ This may sound morbid, and I never actually "sat down" and thought about it directly, it usually just pops up once inawhile. For example, I was feeling similar to how you are a few days ago, had a bad day, etc... but before I went to bed I pictured myself dying for some reason and how foolish it is to be in a negative outlook on things... almost taking this gift for granted
Thank You, most definitely there is no point in indulging in depressing thoughts but it still does happen every few months to me. I have to break this closed circle of lack of self respect -> lack of opportunities -> lack of self respect, because this is why I have no motivation for changes in my life.
EPT
