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Hi TL this is my first blog (and my first girl blog lol). I want to apologize in advance if my english isn't very good, i'm not used to write long texts  .
I've dating a girl from a couple of moths and there's a problem i've never had before, i don't really have a place to be with her.
I'm a third year college student but i'm living with my parents because my school is just 30 minutes by bus from where i live and she's living with her parents in the same city. This situation is new for me since most of the girls i've dated before were living by herself and i could spend a lot of time on her apartment and sleep there from time to time.
I can still go out with her for drinks or go watch a movie but there's a part of a relationship that i really enjoy i can't really have with her.
I'm 20 years old but i've never been with a girl in my house. I don't really talk about girls with my parents and my mom is home all the time so we can't really be alone here. I'm not sure if her situation is the same but it looks like it. I've thought about talking with my parents about it and i think they'd be ok with it but it would be so awkward that i'm not sure i'd really enjoy it.
I just feel really stupid everytime he goes to her house and i go to mine after going out together and i think our relationship is kind of stuck because of that.
Maybe i can pay for a hotel room a couple of times but i don't think that's really a good idea lol.
I wonder if someone has been in a similar situation and found a good solution or they just decided to move on.
Edit: I add this to the OP to explain better my situation
Ok, so i'm not moving out before i finish my studies period,you can stop with that. I'm not making any excuses, i planned to stay home during college, i'm focusing on getting my degree and then move out. I can't have a stable job with my actual schedule and my family doesn't have the money to support me if i'm not home. I'm not willing to discuss this anymore.
I'm considering to invite her home but it's the first time i'd be with a girl here and i keep thinking about the new situations i could find myself.... I don't want this to look like a big deal but if she realizes she's the first girl to be here she might think i'm going too serious with her and feel uncomfortable, we are really just hanging out at the moment.
I want to think about this as the common stuff it's, but i haven't done this before and i'm not sure how to act.
I also want to point out that my apartment is not really big and you can hear almost everything so we can't have much privacy here unless my parents are sleeping...
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Hotel room is a horrible idea.
Obviously I don't know what your life is like at home, but just talk to your parents about having some privacy when she's over.
That or man up and move out.
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Do the grown up thing:
Move out.
Or to the other grown up thing:
Introduce her to your Mother... I imagine she would "guess" that you won't just sleep/study in your room anyway...
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What exactly is the problem? Just hook up with her at your parents' house in your own room? Or do you share a room with somebody? Are your parents uber strict and would have a problem with you and your gf having le sexy time? You're 20, they should know that by now you don't only talk to girls, I suspect. =)
In essence: Close your door and let the fun begin. 
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Yea the best thing to do would be to talk it out with your parents, just say that she might stay over a couple of nights and they should be fine with it since you're in a long term relationship.
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Mantoss up and rent an apartment somewhere that is a little bit away from your house but still accessible.
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On April 10 2012 08:05 joshrogan wrote:
Yea the best thing to do would be to talk it out with your parents, just say that she might stay over a couple of nights and they should be fine with it since you're in a long term relationship.
I wouldnt really call "a few months" long term, but I do agree with the other posters. If your parents are really strict, move out. If not, just invite her over. You're an adult now, dont feel embarrassed that your parents know you're having sex.
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parents are more understanding than we can even comprehend. Food for thought.
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Maybe think about buying a car?
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On April 10 2012 08:14 dAPhREAk wrote:
public parks. =D
I was the kid in a situation similar to what the OP would commence with if he were to follow your idea...it's awkward...
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Sadly moving out and renting an apartment is impossible for me, i'm just a student with no source of income.
My parents are pretty okeish, it's more about me or she feeling uncomfortable than they having a problem with it.
On April 10 2012 08:14 dAPhREAk wrote:
public parks. =D
On April 10 2012 08:21 Artline wrote:
Maybe think about buying a car?
I don't think i can do that if i'm not really drunk LOL
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do it at your home, not hers
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I think you're old enough that your parents should understand the situation. I was in a similar one when I was 20, my parents just kept out of the way when the girl was over.
Just make sure to talk to them first so they don't walk in on you.
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So you have been jacking off in your room for like a good 10 or so years and yet you are not sure about telling your mom about a girl whom you have interests in? I'm pretty sure she would be delighted!
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On April 10 2012 08:39 0ne wrote:Sadly moving out and renting an apartment is impossible for me, i'm just a student with no source of income. My parents are pretty okeish, it's more about me or she feeling uncomfortable than they having a problem with it. I don't think i can do that if i'm not really drunk LOL
get drunk then. its quite exhilarating. i assume it would be awkward if you got caught, but thats part of the fun.
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Just have her over a lot so it becomes natural for her to be over, don't do anything for the first few weeks. Then when your family leaves the house get to doing your thing. I mean who cares if your family knows what your having sex with your girlfriend as long as they don't catch you i don't see a problem :D
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On April 10 2012 08:43 Swwww wrote:
So you have been jacking off in your room for like a good 10 or so years and yet you are not sure about telling your mom about a girl whom you have interests in? I'm pretty sure she would be delighted!
LOLOL this mad me laugh too much, i agree 100%.
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I would consider getting a job and moving out.
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People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Get a job, move out. You're 20.
User was temp banned for this post.
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On April 10 2012 08:53 cmen15 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 08:43 Swwww wrote:
So you have been jacking off in your room for like a good 10 or so years and yet you are not sure about telling your mom about a girl whom you have interests in? I'm pretty sure she would be delighted! LOLOL this mad me laugh too much, i agree 100%.
lolol I have same problem as OP; didn't consider this. Still, its too fucking awkward wtf. I mean, if it was a big house and my parents were away yeah, but my room shares a wall with theirs -_-.
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Um, yes? Your parents have been fucking each others' brains out whilst you were a few doors away for the majority of your life (unless they have a sexless marriage and they argue, and occasionally beat you when you were young to take out their stress, and that's why they are too sour to let you have your girlfriend round). Why not allow you to have the privilege?
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On April 10 2012 09:19 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night? Um, yes? Your parents have been fucking each others' brains out whilst you were a few doors away for the majority of your life (unless they have a sexless marriage and they argue, and occasionally beat you when you were young to take out their stress, and that's why they are too sour to let you have your girlfriend round). Why not allow you to have the privilege?
LALALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALALA
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On April 10 2012 09:25 DreamChaser wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 09:19 sc4k wrote:On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night? Um, yes? Your parents have been fucking each others' brains out whilst you were a few doors away for the majority of your life (unless they have a sexless marriage and they argue, and occasionally beat you when you were young to take out their stress, and that's why they are too sour to let you have your girlfriend round). Why not allow you to have the privilege? LALALALALALA I CANT HEAR YOU LALALALALA
Ahahahahahahaha
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What's wrong with hotels ? Rent a room for a weekend when you're both free and have a good time. Obviously it'll get expensive eventually but you should be moving out at some point I'm guessing so that could do in the mean time.
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
Get a job, move out. You're 20.
It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering.
It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT.
So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D
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On April 10 2012 09:43 0ne wrote:It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering. It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT. So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D
Cars, washrooms, natural settings, empty classrooms/buildings, etc.
Use your own imagination man, girls don't care if they like you enough.
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Yea, its called not being asian.
On April 10 2012 09:43 0ne wrote:It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering. It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT. So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D
The people telling you to move out are fucking retarded. Live as cheaply as you can while you're in school, you're lucky you live so close to campus. I promise being $92k in debt is not fun.
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Get a job, move out. You're 20.
Not all countries and their opportunities are the same bro.
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On April 10 2012 08:01 slam wrote:
Hotel room is a horrible idea.
i disagree.
if you cant find a job right now just go to an hotel room it worked for me, you just have to tell her the true man, tell her you are dying to have some privacy time with her, and the best solution you found is going to a room, unless she can suggests a better place.
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I'm willing to bet you're way more hungup on the idea of you having sex at home than your parents are. Just have her over for dinner, introduce her and just 'watch movies' in your room or whatever.
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The best thing to do would be to ask your mom if your gf could "spend the night over here" (phrase it just like that)
then give her a "wink wink nudge nudge". She'll understand you mean business and vacate the place immediately.
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On April 10 2012 09:43 0ne wrote:It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering. It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT. So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D
learn to be quick then =P
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On April 10 2012 08:53 cmen15 wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 08:43 Swwww wrote:
So you have been jacking off in your room for like a good 10 or so years and yet you are not sure about telling your mom about a girl whom you have interests in? I'm pretty sure she would be delighted! LOLOL this mad me laugh too much, i agree 100%.
LOLOL, just saw your name, but not sure if it is what I think it is.
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On April 10 2012 09:52 Artifice wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night? Yea, its called not being asian. Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 09:43 0ne wrote:On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
Get a job, move out. You're 20. It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering. It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT. So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D The people telling you to move out are fucking retarded. Live as cheaply as you can while you're in school, you're lucky you live so close to campus. I promise being $92k in debt is not fun.
92k$? ouch.
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On April 10 2012 08:02 Velr wrote:
Do the grown up thing:
Move out.
Or to the other grown up thing:
Introduce her to your Mother... I imagine she would "guess" that you won't just sleep/study in your room anyway...
Move out is really easy to say, but its not really that feasible for a college student. Imo, you have a bedroom I hope? Surely there must be sometime you can take her home. Once I was 18 my dad/parents had no issue with me taking girls home, as long as they were of legal age. Your mom/parent's should understand, if they dont they are dicks (no offense but its true)
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I suggest a camping trip.
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On April 10 2012 11:13 iSometric wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 08:53 cmen15 wrote:On April 10 2012 08:43 Swwww wrote:
So you have been jacking off in your room for like a good 10 or so years and yet you are not sure about telling your mom about a girl whom you have interests in? I'm pretty sure she would be delighted! LOLOL this mad me laugh too much, i agree 100%. LOLOL, just saw your name, but not sure if it is what I think it is.
Just sound it out man, just sound it out. wink wink
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Get a job, move out. You're 20.
Much more common in Europe than in the states. I really don't see the problem.
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Just invite her over and keep it to talking or watching movies in the afternoon until she gets more comfortable around your parents. Sooner or later she has to meet them anyways unless she doesn't really want anything long term.
I don't really see the trouble you are having. I saw the father of my ex-gf basically on the first day i met her, said hello to him and then we both went to her room and talked (yes, talked without any quotes). We did that a few times and then meeting him wasn't anything unusual or scary anymore.
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Ok, so i'm not moving out before i finish my studies period, you can stop with that. I'm not making any excuses, i planned to stay home during college, i'm focusing on getting my degree and then move out. I can't have a stable job with my actual schedule and my family doesn't have the money to support me if i'm not home. I'm not willing to discuss this anymore.
I'm considering to invite her home but it's the first time i'd be with a girl here and i keep thinking about the new situations i could find myself.... I don't want this to look like a big deal but if she realizes she's the first girl to be here she might think i'm going too serious with her and feel uncomfortable, we are really just hanging out at the moment.
I want to think about this as the common stuff it's, but i haven't done this before and i'm not sure how to act.
I also want to point out that my apartment is not really big and you can hear almost everything so we can't have much privacy here unless my parents are sleeping...
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Tell her you have a fetish for sex outdoors.
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Just start out with being together in your/her room without actually doing anything. Let her sleep over if appropriate and vice versa. You don't actually have to have sex. Once that start it will be all the more natural for both you, her AND your parents to talk about.
Just remember your parents have also been young at some point and have been doing stuff. Might be sex, but then they did other things which to them was "forbidden".
To put this in perspective:
I'm 25. Living by myself now. My parents sometimes hints in a teasing fashion that they knew everything going on in my room behind closed doors when I lived at home. Be it watching porn late at night or being with a girl. So they know either way and probably don't care. At least my parents don't/didn't.
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On April 10 2012 19:51 Inori wrote:
Here's a radical thought: stop trying to have sex with girls until you're an actual adult capable of supporting himself?
Honestly your problem sounds like something a stupid 15 year old would have, not 20. If you're so serious about finishing college, then study more instead.
Having sex in the parents apartment will be as awkward as you might imagine, unless you're into these things, which means you have bigger problems than finding a place to have sex.
Wow, we have a mormon right here! Vade retro, sexual fiends, let me study in peace!
OP, just bring her home and introduce her to your family. I did this and after one or two days of awkwardness, it went away, Of course, you can't just have sex on the couch in the middle of the day, but at night everyone does whatever they want and you don't need to go as far as sharing breakfast with everyone. I was 18 at the time, and kept doing this until I was 19.
The current economical context makes it much wiser for many students to stay with their parents for a few more years. Save money, and you will eventually be able to move out and maintain a certain stability. It's better than getting an apartment and sucking the life out of your parents just to eat a plate of plain pasta everyday.
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I think the thread consensus is move out, bro.
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On April 11 2012 01:09 bonifaceviii wrote:
I think the thread consensus is move out, bro.
How is that the thread consensus? There's a lot of posters who understand why it's not a good option for me to move out right now and are giving me advice about other things i'm a lot more interested in
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On April 11 2012 01:07 Inori wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 23:30 Kukaracha wrote:On April 10 2012 19:51 Inori wrote:
Here's a radical thought: stop trying to have sex with girls until you're an actual adult capable of supporting himself?
Honestly your problem sounds like something a stupid 15 year old would have, not 20. If you're so serious about finishing college, then study more instead.
Having sex in the parents apartment will be as awkward as you might imagine, unless you're into these things, which means you have bigger problems than finding a place to have sex. Wow, we have a mormon right here! Vade retro, sexual fiends, let me study in peace!. Are you retarded? You do realize my response was to his excuses on not moving out? All I said that one shouldn't be running around having sex if he's not adult enough to support oneself (and thus unable to face potential consequences), doesn't matter if you hit that at 15 or 25 age. And in any case having sex in parents apartment will be an awkward experience. I'd understand a house, but an apartment, with parents sitting in the next room.. lol.
"Running around having sex"... hahaha how old are you kid?
No one can support themselves when they're 15, unless they're orphans or live in a third-world country. Do you condemn sex between people who are under 21 and thus not completely legally of age?
In any case, you're probably a virgin (not trying to troll or anything, but from your answers you're either extremely prude or 15 years old), so any "advice" you give is pure fantasy.
And don't worry OP, all those rich kids are telling you to move out, but anyone with common sense knows you simply can't when you're poor and you're studying 24/7.
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Wow, I see some pretty bad advice going around......
Don't bring her home JUST for the sake of having sex everytime. Bring her home, hang out, watch a movie, or study together. Get her comfortable at your place, and your mom will be okay with you bringing a girl over.
If you bring her home, with that glazed look on your face, your mom will know that you're acting strange and that you just want to fuck the girl. Just bring her home innocently, watch some TV, tell your mom you're going to study a bit together. Then your mom will like the girl and respect your privacy.
Obviously you won't have the freedom to be in bed for 12 hours straight, with a 2 hour session of sex. But you'll have the freedom to mess around after a few times of bringing her over.
Don't rush into things; you're still only 20.
Don't buy a hotel; that's just sketchy and expensive.
Don't tell her that she's the first girl you're bringing home, that's WEIRD. Tell her that you just wanna relax with her at home. Like I said, TV or some chill activity at home.
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On April 11 2012 03:13 Inori wrote:
Sorry to dissapoint you, but I'm 23, been living on my own since ~19 (without any family support, in fact I'm the one supporting my parents atm), got my first job at ~16, oh and lost my virginity at ~15. Currently working as software engineer.
If you can't manage it, doesn't mean it's impossible, just means you're lazy.
Those are not things to be proud of. Why do some people think that losing virginity at a super young age is awesome? I remember high school, when people would count on their fingers how many times they had sex. Getting a girlfriend in college is so much better.
Anyways, your life story sounds pretty typical. People go to college at 19, live on their own, and graduate at 22 and get a job.
As a software engineer, I doubt you have enough money to support yourself and your parents.
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Save yourself for Christ!
While I would never actually say something that ridiculous, my wife and I both waited until marriage, and it worked out just fine for us.
On a more practical basis, I can remind you of the cost savings of not moving out and not renting hotel rooms, buying more time for you to find your own path to chastity
And I know that a lot of people reading this will just think the suggestion is totally unrealistic, but at least momentarily consider, why DOES culture assume that hookups with girlfriends is the best way to find happiness? Note momentarily, as in don't derail the thread.. just throwing something out there.
Also, it is indeed mostly common for college students in the US (that actually graduate) to be a full time student and then work after graduation- most students go away to college, but it is normal to stay for monetary reasons, too
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Man this took a weird turn around page 2 O.o
On April 10 2012 11:24 Zidane wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2012 09:52 Artifice wrote:On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night? Yea, its called not being asian. On April 10 2012 09:43 0ne wrote:On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
Get a job, move out. You're 20. It wouldn't make a lot of sense for me to get a job and move out before i finish my last two years of chemical engineering. It's probably a lot more common in USA to work and study at the same time but there's not a single student in my school doing it. Anyway it's extremely difficult to find a job in Spain these days, we are really fucked with the economic crisis TT. So you guys can stop suggesting that, i'm more interested in the parents stuff and other options :D The people telling you to move out are fucking retarded. Live as cheaply as you can while you're in school, you're lucky you live so close to campus. I promise being $92k in debt is not fun. 92k$? ouch.
Yeah, student debt sucks. If the decision was between 2 years of no sex and a large chunk of debt, trust me the no sex is the far better option.
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On April 10 2012 09:05 Angel_ wrote:
People here seriously have parents that would let their gf stay the night?
Get a job, move out. You're 20.
User was temp banned for this post.
Parents in the States don't let their kids' bfs/gfs stay the night? LOL
In Sweden it's not even an issue.
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On April 11 2012 03:32 WhatisProtoss wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2012 03:13 Inori wrote:
Sorry to dissapoint you, but I'm 23, been living on my own since ~19 (without any family support, in fact I'm the one supporting my parents atm), got my first job at ~16, oh and lost my virginity at ~15. Currently working as software engineer.
If you can't manage it, doesn't mean it's impossible, just means you're lazy. Those are not things to be proud of. Why do some people think that losing virginity at a super young age is awesome? I remember high school, when people would count on their fingers how many times they had sex. Getting a girlfriend in college is so much better. Anyways, your life story sounds pretty typical. People go to college at 19, live on their own, and graduate at 22 and get a job. As a software engineer, I doubt you have enough money to support yourself and your parents.
Actually, those are things to be proud of, except the virginity thing, which totally doesn't matter. Anyway, just because you're not working hard at the age of 16 and moved out by the age of 19 doesn't mean you're lazy, some people are just born into families where they don't have to struggle hard at that age, nothing wrong with that.
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I would suggest going on a weekend trip somewhere nice. Otherwise try to borrow a friends apartment and invite your GF to dinner or something.
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On April 11 2012 03:13 Inori wrote:
Sorry to dissapoint you, but I'm 23, been living on my own since ~19 (without any family support, in fact I'm the one supporting my parents atm), got my first job at ~16, oh and lost my virginity at ~15. Currently working as software engineer.
If you can't manage it, doesn't mean it's impossible, just means you're lazy.
Even if what you're saying is true (which I seriously doubt, with all due respect) you broke your own rules yourself by having sex four years before living on your own.
Oh, and OP, didn't know you were from Spain. Stay at your parent's home for as long as possible and then leave the country ASAP, things aren't looking bright down there...
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Your parents can't possibly be home 24/7? Anyway introduce her to your parents, if they like her they are gonna give you some space, just tell them she'll be coming over one evening and it would be nice with some privacy, now that doesn't necessarily mean your saying it's sex time. Chances are your parents will decide to go out for dinner or some shit that night, they need privacy too right?
Ez son
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EPT
