Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others.
A person with social anxiety disorder is afraid that he or she will make mistakes, look bad, and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. The fear may be made worse by a lack of social skills or experience in social situations. The anxiety can build into a panic attack. As a result of the fear, the person endures certain social situations in extreme distress or may avoid them altogether. In addition, people with social anxiety disorder often suffer "anticipatory" anxiety -- the fear of a situation before it even happens -- for days or weeks before the event. In many cases, the person is aware that the fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it.
People with social anxiety disorder suffer from distorted thinking, including false beliefs about social situations and the negative opinions of others. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can negatively interfere with the person's normal daily routine, including school, work, social activities, and relationships.
People with social anxiety disorder may be afraid of a specific situation, such as speaking in public. However, most people with social anxiety disorder fear more than one social situation. Other situations that commonly provoke anxiety include:
Eating or drinking in front of others. Writing or working in front of others. Being the center of attention. Interacting with people, including dating or going to parties. Asking questions or giving reports in groups. Using public toilets. Talking on the telephone. Social anxiety disorder may be linked to other mental illnesses, such as panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and depression. In fact, many people with social anxiety disorder initially see the doctor with complaints related to these disorders, not because of social anxiety symptoms.
First I want to made clear that this isn't some made up mental disorder to sell pills to people who are shy. This a extremely problematic disease that usually takes over your life and prevents you from doing and experiencing some of the most basic aspects of life.
In some people it's caused by some traumatic experience, in my case I believe it's genetic in some way, since I seem to have suffered from it ever sincer I was very, very little.
I'm 22 years old and I've never had sex, not even kissed a girl (initially this was due to my extreme social awkardness, in recent years it's related more to my inhability to experience romantic feelings due to how fucked up my mind is), never really had friends, maybe some acquaintances when I was in high school. There where periods of my life where I barely left the house for weeks given how stressful doing so would be, I graduated from high school 7 years ago and I'm barely half way to finishing college due to dropping out several times due to my constant anxiety.
And while the social anxiety is a big problem by itself, the real life breaker comes with the associated disorders. When you live all your life in a constant state of anxiety and fear you mental health is bound to suffer... A lot. Over the years I developed a severe chronic depression (mostly overcomed by now), avoidant personality disorder (the bane of my existence), hypochondria (I hate this one so much) and some other more minor things.
The other big issue with SA is the fact that it robs you of any support system... When faced with any problem of life most people will be able to rely on their social circles, friends, their significant other, whether those circles are big, small, positive or not so positive, they provide the fundations for the human mind to persevere in times of adversity.
With SA you don't have any social circles nor significant other, this hurts your emotional and mental well being and stability far more than I can explain. It's like having some sort of mental AIDS, where you're left defenceless against any mental "infection" that may come and even the slightest challenges become huge and traumatic problems.
A couple of years ago I hit rock bottom, suffering 3 horrible panic attacks, the last one actually landed me in the ER give how what I felt was so horrible and unexplainable that I actually tought I was dying. I ended up looking for psychological help which actually helped me to improve, but there was a limit to what therapy can do... The only two paths left for where to take some anxiety drugs and risk becoming dependant or just try to overcome this awful thing by sheer will and hard work. I choose the second.
Now I'm living by myself and of course going to school, I have improved a lot in the past couple of years but I'm still very far from ever being "cured", I can act almost like a "normal" person in my daily life, but the anxiety just doesn't go away... I might choose to face it, to man up and deal with the many things that stress me out, but that doesn't mean I doesn't experience the constant anxiety, and a life of that has tired me both phisically and mentally far more than I can explain.
Thanks to anyone who bothered to read this wall of text, and remember the next time you meet someone who seems extremely awkward or shy... He or she may just be a very ill person.
starting at the gym / TLHeath&Fitness thread helped me a lot ... you slowly learn discipline and very slowly start to achieve something that is natural and that you respect in yourself, which automatically lends to self confidence.
you can forget about women , when their affinity for you in general is based on how self-confident you are then its a hopeless and unsympathetic cycle of disappointment for both parties
i hope you dont drink, because it will literally kill you , it fucks with your nervous system so bad after a while
try to get 11 hours of sleeping period , with all the electric plugs off (total darkness+silence) , it seems to make a big difference compared to sleeping with the computer on/tiny bit of light. waking up refreshed and forgetting the previous day of emotional upheaval is powerful
I suffer from this as well, to the point where as mentioned in the quote I also suffer from some symptoms of OCD the thing that really has helped me deal with it is the fact that when I got hired for my new job the forced my to be on the cash register...meaning I have had to talk to and deal with every customer...it was almost impossible for the first few weeks but slowly I am getting used to it. I still have issues almost everywhere else I go but at work I can act almost normal
Really interesting, i recognize alot of the situations from the quote :/ Last years I've been always told by doctors that it's autism, but your post really describes alot of things i recognize.
On March 23 2012 00:26 SpadeAce wrote: Really interesting, i recognize alot of the situations from the quote :/ Last years I've been always told by doctors that it's autism, but your post really describes alot of things i recognize.
Social phobia or anxiety is very common with people who have autism. You can have both ^^.
I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder (I'm somewhere in the middle) but I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Definitely don't drink much or do any serious drugs.
The biggest thing for me has been finding a balance between getting enough time alone and spending enough time with other people. If you only spend time with other people it will trigger your anxiety, but if you spend time only by yourself your episodes will get worse.
Oh and don't let your doctor give you Effexxor if you plan on being in a relationship. It's a common anti-depressant/anxietant which works ok, but it has ... weird side effects for some people. I, and many other people who have taken the drug, was always turned on but could never reach climax on the drug. That might sound like it makes you a Viking in the sack, but never getting sexual gratification wears thin pretty quickly.
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
There is a genetic component to it - I have mental illness in my family spread both outwards and upwards. It is also physically measurable as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mental illness has existed for ever, but pre-modern society just let those who were afflicted go without help so that they would eventually go hungry from lack of work or support. A similar comparison is that we used to call all people with any cognitive disabilities Mentally Retarded, but now we know there are many different reasons for doing poorly at school, including mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), Autism, dislexia, Downs Syndrome, and yes, low IQ (mental retardation).
Wow, that's really tough OP. I sympathize with your situation, since although I don't have social anxiety, I am quite introverted and I actually have one of the points listed above: the fear of talking with strangers on the telephone. I don't know what it is, and if anyone else has it, but I HATE dealing with people on the phone. I find it hard to understand people when they talk through the phone so I end up saying 'what?' a lot and I'm always afraid I'm making the guy on the other end angry and that I'm making a fool of myself.
In any case, I really enjoy spending time alone, more so than most of my friends that require constant peer support to stay sane. In fact, I sometimes enjoy being alone and just thinking more than being out with friends. The point of this, OP, is that don't let this anxiety be a crutch in your life. Strive to take advantage of it and make it help you somehow. For example, a job which requires you to work alone you would excel at, since you have a lot more experience on your own than most people, and so your work ethic on your own is probably a lot better than the average Joe.
Good luck, I hope you end up conquering your social anxiety and/or make it work for you in the end!
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
I don't think anyone is comparing them to actual diseases. Neither does anyone know for sure if it's a recent development of human beings or that we're only just discovering it.
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
It has nothing do with self imposement, I can tell you that. I feel serious fear for a shit ton of things, and there's nothing I can do about it even though I don't agree with any of my fears they're all very irrational. It's a bit like falling on the street when your knee aches for a couple of hours. But then it's like a fear aching feeling, you just have to live with it.
I've been through the same situation(panic attacks, suicide tendencies,etc), maybe not as much as you but still, im also from SA, however i can heavily rely on my closest family. Theres nothing you can do but believe in yourself, you've chosen the right path, keep it up man!
I tell myself all the time that everyone is just an imagination of my brain and they don't really exist, which means I can interact with people the way I want to.
On March 23 2012 00:50 Shai wrote: I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder (I'm somewhere in the middle) but I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Definitely don't drink much or do any serious drugs.
The biggest thing for me has been finding a balance between getting enough time alone and spending enough time with other people. If you only spend time with other people it will trigger your anxiety, but if you spend time only by yourself your episodes will get worse.
Oh and don't let your doctor give you Effexxor if you plan on being in a relationship. It's a common anti-depressant/anxietant which works ok, but it has ... weird side effects for some people. I, and many other people who have taken the drug, was always turned on but could never reach climax on the drug. That might sound like it makes you a Viking in the sack, but never getting sexual gratification wears thin pretty quickly.
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
There is a genetic component to it - I have mental illness in my family spread both outwards and upwards. It is also physically measurable as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mental illness has existed for ever, but pre-modern society just let those who were afflicted go without help so that they would eventually go hungry from lack of work or support. A similar comparison is that we used to call all people with any cognitive disabilities Mentally Retarded, but now we know there are many different reasons for doing poorly at school, including mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), Autism, dislexia, Downs Syndrome, and yes, low IQ (mental retardation).
The point i was trying to make is that a person with downs syndrome is going to have downs syndrome whether he lives alone on an island or with a family of 5 and a huge friend circle around him.
I'm not convinced that a person would develop social anxiety in the latter case, but can understand a person developing it in the first.
What I'm getting at is that social anxiety is formed by the the environment you grow up in.
ruXxar : its disease-like because its something you get stuck in , it re-enforces itself , like the "bad chemicals" reproduce themselves and block the "good chemicals" in a constant effect . or you can just think of it as "trauma" . if you've ever been traumatised, like you're afraid of spiders or something, you know how innate that is. if you had a really bad relationship then you could say it traumatised you and now you're psychologically fucked up. disease in the dictionary is not a clearly defined word anyway, it just means "somethings wrong"
On March 23 2012 00:49 Sayle wrote: How do you distinguish between someone who is really shy and someone who has this disorder?
id say the difference is that a "shy" person isnt really bothered by their shyness as such. like a cute "shy" girl might not find any problem with her "shyness". social anxiety is defined by its anxiety, and anxiety is hard to describe - its easier to describe the symptoms eg inability to "be yourself" , relax , concentrate, butterflies in stomach, tenseness, stress, self doubt, doubt about everything, overthinking everything, being unsure of everything, lack of confidence, low ego, racing thoughts, fear without cause, self-loathing, whatever
On March 23 2012 00:50 Shai wrote: I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder (I'm somewhere in the middle) but I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Definitely don't drink much or do any serious drugs.
The biggest thing for me has been finding a balance between getting enough time alone and spending enough time with other people. If you only spend time with other people it will trigger your anxiety, but if you spend time only by yourself your episodes will get worse.
Oh and don't let your doctor give you Effexxor if you plan on being in a relationship. It's a common anti-depressant/anxietant which works ok, but it has ... weird side effects for some people. I, and many other people who have taken the drug, was always turned on but could never reach climax on the drug. That might sound like it makes you a Viking in the sack, but never getting sexual gratification wears thin pretty quickly.
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
There is a genetic component to it - I have mental illness in my family spread both outwards and upwards. It is also physically measurable as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mental illness has existed for ever, but pre-modern society just let those who were afflicted go without help so that they would eventually go hungry from lack of work or support. A similar comparison is that we used to call all people with any cognitive disabilities Mentally Retarded, but now we know there are many different reasons for doing poorly at school, including mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), Autism, dislexia, Downs Syndrome, and yes, low IQ (mental retardation).
The point i was trying to make is that a person with downs syndrome is going to have downs syndrome whether he lives alone on an island or with a family of 5 and a huge friend circle around him.
I'm not convinced that a person would develop social anxiety in the latter case, but can understand a person developing it in the first.
What I'm getting at is that social anxiety is formed by the the environment you grow up in.
Firstly, stop being an ignorant twat. I grew up with 5 siblings and my family had a lot of contact with farther relatives as well and I had a lot of friends as a child and I developed these problems anyway. It isn't about "training" or so.
Secondly, why do this matter? A disease can mean anything which significantly impairs functioning in some way. Also things like cancer are very dependent on how you live and I believe that you would accept it as a disease, just because there are lifestyle factors doesn't meant that it isn't a disease.
It is extremely hard to change yourself mentally. As an example imagine the thing in the world which you hate and loathe the most. Like a person, some cult, a movement, a game, some food or some music. Now try to go from loathing it to loving it, right now before you start reading the next sentence. Can you do it? Probably not. Why? You really gain nothing from loathing and hating things like that. Imagine now that you loathe and hate peoples attention that much. Every time you go out and every time you meet someone you feel it. Wouldn't that be a hell way worse than anything you ever have experienced?
Psychology isn't trivial, don't ever be ignorant about it again please.
On March 23 2012 00:50 Shai wrote: I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder (I'm somewhere in the middle) but I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Definitely don't drink much or do any serious drugs.
The biggest thing for me has been finding a balance between getting enough time alone and spending enough time with other people. If you only spend time with other people it will trigger your anxiety, but if you spend time only by yourself your episodes will get worse.
Oh and don't let your doctor give you Effexxor if you plan on being in a relationship. It's a common anti-depressant/anxietant which works ok, but it has ... weird side effects for some people. I, and many other people who have taken the drug, was always turned on but could never reach climax on the drug. That might sound like it makes you a Viking in the sack, but never getting sexual gratification wears thin pretty quickly.
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
There is a genetic component to it - I have mental illness in my family spread both outwards and upwards. It is also physically measurable as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mental illness has existed for ever, but pre-modern society just let those who were afflicted go without help so that they would eventually go hungry from lack of work or support. A similar comparison is that we used to call all people with any cognitive disabilities Mentally Retarded, but now we know there are many different reasons for doing poorly at school, including mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), Autism, dislexia, Downs Syndrome, and yes, low IQ (mental retardation).
The point i was trying to make is that a person with downs syndrome is going to have downs syndrome whether he lives alone on an island or with a family of 5 and a huge friend circle around him.
I'm not convinced that a person would develop social anxiety in the latter case, but can understand a person developing it in the first.
What I'm getting at is that social anxiety is formed by the the environment you grow up in.
it can develop in any infinite number of ways. you can see it clearly in the animal kingdom. monkeys/whatever that are outcast from their tribe because other monkeys dont like them for whatever reason. then they get depressed, refuse to eat, blah blah, have to be moved to their own cage, its a sad story. you can call it a disorder if you want. like i said, the word "disease" doesnt actually mean anything specific anyway...... the brain is the brain, if there are fucked up wires then there will be problems, it doesnt matter how deep or shallow you care to look at it; the problems are there
On March 23 2012 00:50 Shai wrote: I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder or Panic Disorder (I'm somewhere in the middle) but I can understand a lot of what you're going through. Definitely don't drink much or do any serious drugs.
The biggest thing for me has been finding a balance between getting enough time alone and spending enough time with other people. If you only spend time with other people it will trigger your anxiety, but if you spend time only by yourself your episodes will get worse.
Oh and don't let your doctor give you Effexxor if you plan on being in a relationship. It's a common anti-depressant/anxietant which works ok, but it has ... weird side effects for some people. I, and many other people who have taken the drug, was always turned on but could never reach climax on the drug. That might sound like it makes you a Viking in the sack, but never getting sexual gratification wears thin pretty quickly.
On March 23 2012 00:45 ruXxar wrote: I don't understand all the people that have these anxieties and phobias and whatnot. Is this something that have developed among humans in the last century?
I'm not talking about people with real diseases that you can pinpoint to a physiological damage in the brain or an infection in the body. I'm talking about these mental disorders that people have. Can they be linked to anything concrete? Or are they simply a result of not having the necessary experience amongst crowds, in a group and being conditioned over the years to have a low self confidence?
I can't believe that there's any physiological reason as to why a person would have such a condition, and must then conclude that it's due to how the person has been interacting with his environment while growing up, be it self imposed, or imposed by others.
I just don't see how this can be labeled as a disease.
There is a genetic component to it - I have mental illness in my family spread both outwards and upwards. It is also physically measurable as a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mental illness has existed for ever, but pre-modern society just let those who were afflicted go without help so that they would eventually go hungry from lack of work or support. A similar comparison is that we used to call all people with any cognitive disabilities Mentally Retarded, but now we know there are many different reasons for doing poorly at school, including mental illnesses (depression and anxiety), Autism, dislexia, Downs Syndrome, and yes, low IQ (mental retardation).
The point i was trying to make is that a person with downs syndrome is going to have downs syndrome whether he lives alone on an island or with a family of 5 and a huge friend circle around him.
I'm not convinced that a person would develop social anxiety in the latter case, but can understand a person developing it in the first.
What I'm getting at is that social anxiety is formed by the the environment you grow up in.
Firstly, stop being an ignorant twat. I grew up with 5 siblings and my family had a lot of contact with farther relatives as well and I had a lot of friends as a child and I developed these problems anyway. It isn't about "training" or so.
Secondly, why do this matter? A disease can mean anything which significantly impairs functioning in some way. Also things like cancer are very dependent on how you live and I believe that you would accept it as a disease, just because there are lifestyle factors doesn't meant that it isn't a disease.
It is extremely hard to change yourself mentally. As an example imagine the thing in the world which you hate and loathe the most. Like a person, some cult, a movement, a game, some food or some music. Now try to go from loathing it to loving it, right now before you start reading the next sentence. Can you do it? Probably not. Why? You really gain nothing from loathing and hating things like that. Imagine now that you loathe and hate peoples attention that much. Every time you go out and every time you meet someone you feel it. Wouldn't that be a hell way worse than anything you ever have experienced?
Psychology isn't trivial, don't ever be ignorant about it again please.
I'm not trying to downplay the severity of it. I'm trying to understand how it makes sense.
The way I see it, most of these anxieties are related to thoughts and emotions. I believe that thoughts are something we humans can partially control. If you get conditioned into one of these anxieties, I don't see why you shouldn't be able to condition yourself out of them as well?
Or are you trying to tell me that you've had social anxieties as long as you can remember? If not, how did it develop in you?
EPT
