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Sorry, I don't really know where else to go right now. I'm just really really depressed right now.
I actually do have depression and I am going to a psychiatrist for help, but I still don't really feel much better.
My problem is that I am too ambitious and I won't quit anything. Because of this, I often get into situations where I am overloaded with goals and in the end I fail to achieve anything.
Almost a year ago, I felt like I had lost everything. I'm a high school student. My grades in school were pretty bad, I competed poorly in track and field, and I competed poorly in my academic teams. The only redeeming factor in my life was a really good friend that I had. She's a girl.
However, one day, I really felt depressed as hell and I called her, and I kinda broke down. I kinda realize that I'm not really sane anymore and I do a lot of crazy things. Anyways, after that call, she stopped talking to me. It was really painful because I knew that it was my fault, but she was always there for me and now I really have nothing.
It's been a long and painful year and I had tried really hard to maintain relationships with that friend but just a few days ago, she told me that it really wasn't going to work out and pretty much forbid me from getting close to her again.
The problem is, my life is repeating itself again. I feel like I've lost everything too (same problems as last year). The only difference is that its worse. My parents... are sort of getting depressed as well (mostly from my breakdowns). And I really can't concentrate on schoolwork anymore.
I end up talking to myself in my head a lot and I don't really have anyone who will listen. I've tried making new friends but there's generally just this barrier between those you can really tell all your problems about.
I've been having thoughts almost everyday about suicide but I really don't have any way that I can do it (my house is a pretty safe place).
Once again, I'm really sorry for my teenage hormone story. I just need to get my voice heard. It's too frustrating to take it all in. If anyone else has any personal advice, I would love to hear some, but I still kinda doubt it will help me. Thank y'all for taking the time to read this.
Edit #1 I'm not religious. Don't give religious advice.
Also, I won't do any form of illegal drugs (pot). If I will take any anti-depressants it will be something that my doctor will prescribe.
Edit #2 Everyone is saying how this girl isn't really a friend. I understand that already. Please don't say it anymore.
Edit #3 I eat well. I'm actually fairly healthy although I'm getting a little chubby right now.
 
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You've watched too many dramas.
User was warned for this post
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Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
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Canada2310 Posts
Things get better. That girl who won't talk to you much anymore is honestly not that good a friend. Maybe you don't have many if any friends. Things get better, you just gotta wait it out. Try your hardest to do your studies, ditch your extracurriculars if they are too stressful. You get older, you get out of high school and out of your parents house, and life starts to make a lot more sense.
And until then, here's a kitten to get you through the day.
![[image loading]](http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2010/10/kitten.jpg)
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If she refuses to be there to help you when you are in need, than she was never a friend in the first place. Losing a friend can be tough, but she was not the one to make the decision by the looks of it. The only reason she should cut you off is if you truly did something monstrous towards her, which I want to doubt. If she did cut you off, don't look at her for comfort, because she won't give you any. Look around at the others around you and realize who your real friends are. Talk to your family as well. Your well being should be their first priority.
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Im sorry you are going through such a hard time and sorry about your friend..
I'm also a bit worried about trying to give any advice since I have no qualifications and it seems like you are in a really delicate situation, but if you are still in highschool you are super young. You have much time ahead of you. Maybe a good way to deal with this situation is to try to change your mindset as much as you can. Set attainable goals and focus on making your future life better by working hard on them, and do it. Dont waste time thinking about how bad things are, instead use that time productively, imagine how much you could achieve then!
Also your goals dont have to be to become #1. You can set a goal of getting in better shape through track and excercise, for example. You dont need to be state champ, just improve your health and physique, etc. Improve yourself and your situation, dont worry too much about proving something to someone else
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Two things:
1) Run. Alot. Hard. Long.
2) Whenever I'm down, I listen to Brad Sucks.
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Get a kitten or dog. For serious.
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On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote:
You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
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Oh, shit, man - people are fallible, and that's a tough, horrible lesson to learn. Pm me if you feel like you want to talk. I'm out and about today but i'll try to respond promptly.
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Thaniri is right. Get a dog.
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make yourself busy with anything. keeps you from thinking, which keeps you from being depressed. join group events (school clubs, sports (pickup games, local leagues), church events, volunteering). ive never heard someone who is always busy say that they are depressed. plus, the interaction with other people will help you out. your family and close friends are there to talk to you if you need to talk, but dont bring your drama to people you dont know yet. it will make you happier because they wont feel like they should distance themselves. as for your female friend, seems she is not such a good friend after all. but there are many fish in the sea, both for friends and companions. dont let one lost bite at the hook prevent you from casting your line back in the sea.
and, fuck, that kitten above is cute. made me smile. www.cuteoverload.com for more.
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On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
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On March 12 2012 09:07 Wurdjschridit wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off. ....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
if you wanna see a bad joke maybe you should look at the first reply to this thread. Properly prescribed drugs have helped people before
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On March 12 2012 09:07 Wurdjschridit wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off. ....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
dont be so fucking dense. depression can be a medical issue and drugs have successfully treated some forms of depression.
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I want to thank you guys for having quick responses. It really means a lot to me.
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On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
OP : First of all, find a hobby (besides gaming/internet). We've all been teenagers at one point and pretty much every teenager goes through such thoughts to certain extents. I don't know your story beyond what you've said but it really sounds like you need something to occupy yourself that is 1) not competitive and 2) time consuming.
It can be anything you enjoy, and maybe you already have a hobby, but honestly it takes your mind off of things and let's you "vent" through a constructive activity.
Next, I know it's hard to think that way at your age, but just don't worry what others think of you. That's not to say become a slob : do exercise (sounds like you already do), eat well and show enthusiasm for learning/activities, etc etc (IE try to live a fun active life) but don't worry about being popular or "cool"/having tons of friends. Real friends are rare. I know 100s of people having lived in 3 different cities for university for 7 years but only have had a few real friends in my entire life and even that wasn't perfect. Right now I haven't had a real friend since I moved from Montreal to Moncton and lost touch with people... but honestly it hasn't affected me much because I never have time to think about stuff like that in a normal day.
Working out is a good way to get rid of bad emotions IMO. Feeling tired to the point of exhaustion helps clear the mind. Just walking outside is a good way to escape things too (I like to walk in the middle of the night once in a while).
If you meet new people, don't confide in them too quickly. No one wants to be there for a stranger pretty much and you'll push people away by being clingy. Just be friendly and you'll meet people eventually. To be honest, when I was a teenager I had the same phase as you (confided in a girl and she stopped talking to me soon after) but I'm 24 now and I have not felt the need to confide my bad thoughts to anyone in over 5 years (even after having a terrible year last year where I quit pharmacy school after 3 years of bad grades and overall terrible city life that I hated).
There's no secret to happiness. Find activities you like, get involved in things and just be friendly. You'll meet people (good and bad) and you'll feel better with time. Start by working harder on your studies if you aren't satisfied with your grades : find a goal in life (IE what you want to make your career of) and you'll find a new motivation for studying with a goal in sight.
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On March 12 2012 09:07 Wurdjschridit wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off. ....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
No. When treating depression, drugs help a lot of people.
You can call it brain damage if you want, but fact is that in many ways, depression is brain damage, and taking drugs for it helps. It makes certain your brain produce the shit that makes you feel okay, even if you really aren't.
Now, I am not telling him to go use something on his own, but rather go to an expert, and ask whether or not he or she thinks he is better off treated purely with therapy, or with drugs as well.
Because a lot of people are helped pretty fast when it comes to depression just with drugs - and then they function well, but have to work out their issues with a therapist in addition, before they are healthy enough to come off the drugs.
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smoke weed
User was temp banned for this post.
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On March 12 2012 09:13 Kurr wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off. Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
Fact is, when someone is having serious problem, and considering suicide, then going to an expert and asking for help is the smart thing to do.
And drugs help a lot of people.
Of course they are addictive and hard to stop with ... they don't fix what is really wrong with your mind, but they trick it into feeling fine regardless so you can function. And obviously that means you have to work with a therapist, or come to some sort of realization on your own as well.
But it sounded serious enough that I wanted to ask if he had considered it ... because, for serious depression, it is actually working very well for two of my friends (and the last didn't have any effect at all, or so he says).
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EPT
