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Of course I'm not able to say anything that will suddenly fix things, but I was in a situation not too different from yours for the last two years. I ended up dropping out of uni twice, and now I have no intention of going back.
I used to make the choices I did because of the expectaions of other, but now I'm living more for myself and I feel a lot better.
After getting a job, first flipping burgers, now as tech support for an ISP (which I acutally love doing), I've been focusing on different ways to be happy.
By having a stable job that I don't hate, I'm free to do what I want on my spare time. Strangely though, I feel the best when I just to something simple, like taking a warm bath.
Seems I just ended up venting rather than giving advice. Either way, think about what you need to be happy and try to go for it, in my case it was just the stability of going to work everyday.
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On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Drugs never stabilize anybody by themselves. You need to use it well or they will fuck you up even more (I know a lot about that for personnal reason).
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Well my first piece of advice would be to not take advice from strangers on the internet. My second would be to decide which of your problems is actually your problem
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On March 12 2012 09:18 Brutaxilos wrote:No.
legality aside, it certainly does wonders for depression, without effecting your health or mental stability the way alcohol, or psychiatric meds will.
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I went through a similar time. I was prescribed drugs - but after a month or so i stopped taking them. I don't know that I would recommend them. I would agree that you need to get out and do things. Monotony is pretty shitty though and that will be hard to escape while in High School. It will get better though I promise. American Education is poorly funded and not really efficient or conducive to sanity in many ways.
Also - try to refer to yourself as "I" in your internal monologue. Many people refer to themselves as "You" - and "I" is much better for your mental health. There's only one of you in there ^_^.
This Wikipedia might be insightful as well:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego
The way I think about it -
When it comes right down to it, intelligence and consciousness is probably just chemical reaction in the brain. This may be slightly scary - but think of the implications. If you are intelligent because of chemical reaction working in unison - plants are also intelligent, but in a different way. We like to say they are more "primitive" intelligences - but that's also what we said about the Mayans, Incas, etc - and they had highly sophisticated architectural technologies and social structures (albeit some were rather exploitative ones). You can take this thought process further - other things have different awarenesses based on chemical reaction; imagine the obscure consciousness of a planet or a star. We cannot really comprehend what it is like to be a star - but stars exist, and therefore being a star must be something.
For some reason - the fact that animals function similarly to humans (more or less similar depending on relation [i.e. a dog is more like a human than a crab]) leads people to draw the line for intelligence at similar mammalia. I am of the opinion that it would not help a deep sea bacteria or a prehistoric dinosaur to "think" or have "awareness" at all similar to a human - and therefore it did not evolve that way.
Whenever I am depressed I am usually thinking - whats the point, its all going to be over sooner or later, right?
BUT - even with no religious aspect at all, what happens if when you die in the 3rd dimension, it is merely a transition of the 3rd dimensional self into higher dimensions? The faster you move in the 3rd dimension, the slower you move in the 4th and these relationships are not fully understood. This is what plagued Einstein for the last years of his life - the discovery of a GUT - Grand Unified Theory to replace the Standard Model.
Grand Unified Theory - All Universal Features Included!
Standard Model - Oops! Can't explain that - lets just add a note here. Oh and we'll need a new constant here. And if you use this equation you should be able to roughly guesstimate the variable here. Your error is only like +/- 25-30%, don't worry about it.
Anyways - All that this science boils down to is the fact that honestly - we don't know what the fuck is going on out there. And we all might be in the matrix. So do what I do - don't take this shit too seriously, cross your fingers and hope for aliens.
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On March 12 2012 09:09 dAPhREAk wrote:Show nested quote +On March 12 2012 09:07 Wurdjschridit wrote:On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote:
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off. ....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage dont be so fucking dense. depression can be a medical issue and drugs have successfully treated some forms of depression.
I got depression problems, and allrdy take all those medicine, and for me did not work, BUT, dont really hurt try IF you go to a doctor, ofc, not selfprescripton and such dumb thing like this. Ok?
Best of lucky, just who have it know how it is, but i believe, every1 can get not "heal" completely, but you ll know how to control better. I dont really believe in medicine for that problem, or at least i never found a good doctor that solved my problem.
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I would highly advise against medication - as someone who has taken medication in the past.
At the very least, exhaust all other methods first.
I really REALLY disliked taking the medication - not only did I feel even more horrible and shitty initially - I found that instead of reversing or repressing depression, it simply dulled me to the point of apathy.
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Add me on AIM:GbSkillgasm
Skpye:Skillgasm
StarCraft 2:Maddog : 129
I need to talk to you, I was recently discharged from a psychiatric hospital after a three week stay for trying to drown myself.
I have Major Depression, Severe Social/situational/phobia-based anxiety, manic episodes, psychotic episodes, ADHD, OCD and possibly Psychosis, schizophrenia, bi-polar (but i'm too young to get a firm diagnoses). Although there is a good chance that I have Schizophrenia. I have voices that talk to me inside my head and sometimes out loud and I get paranoid and think that the government is trying to follow me everywhere and take me.
I know what you are feeling, this is not the end.
Please talk to me, I will do anything I can to help you my friend.
Your life is worth living, it may not seem like it now, it may seem like you will never achieve anything but trust me you will. I beg of you to add me and talk to me or go to the hospital, call 9-11, you are a good person and deserve to live.
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1.) Runnnnnnnnn.
2.) Find something you are good at or something that you enjoy and do it! Creative work in particular if you're into that sort of stuff. And even if you're not, find something creative/productive to do and do it. It helps you express yourself in a way you understand and might let out some of the negative energy/emotions.
Gluck!
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Brutaxilos you need to find stuff in your life that is positive and makes you happy. making friends is the hardest thing to do sometimes. You run track you said, maybe try to make some friends you can go running with. Join a gym maybe? I am assuming you play SC, maybe find some gaming community or practice partners that use teamspeak or ventrillo and make friends through that?
depression isn't fun and alot of people wont want to talk about stuff because they don't understand it and its easier for them to shut it out. One thing i can say is people can suck sometimes but dont let that get you down. Find music you like, find stuff you like to read, sports you like to play, learn an instrument, and when your trying to make friends just be yourself and don't try to impress anyone too much or anything. Make friends with common interests. Someone else said that life sucks and eventually it gets better once you graduate high school... Well life is what you make of it and it can be the best thing in existence if you can just find what makes you happy. It doesnt matter how old you are, once you find out the things that make you happy you can use them to help you through the hard times. Its hard being a human and knowing your own mortality.
Goodluck man, don't do anything your family or future self would regret. Life will get better, it always does. That girl who doesnt talk to you anymore is a total bitch to be honest, but your young and the stuff you might have said to her was hard for someone your age to accept probably. Anyways hope I helped and hope you make it through.
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If you called your friend telling her you were depressed and she stopped being friends with you, I would argue that she is not the type of friend you want to have. You want to have friends that will be there for you.
It's not very easy to find them though. Unfortunately, a lot of life is just painful endurance. But just try finding something that you love doing, and someone else that you care about, then hold onto those things. I know that it's not easy (I've also been depressed for the past ~4 years), but it's the only thing that I can think of that's worth hoping for.
Idk, I know this is really general, probably non-helpful advice, so sorry =/
But like I say in most depression blogs I post in, if you ever want someone to PM about anything, don't hesitate.
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On March 12 2012 08:57 darkscream wrote:Things get better. That girl who won't talk to you much anymore is honestly not that good a friend. Maybe you don't have many if any friends. Things get better, you just gotta wait it out. Try your hardest to do your studies, ditch your extracurriculars if they are too stressful. You get older, you get out of high school and out of your parents house, and life starts to make a lot more sense. And until then, here's a kitten to get you through the day. ![[image loading]](http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/files/2010/10/kitten.jpg)
the kitty made my day :D But seriously I would recommend maybe doing some kind of charity work, seeing people who's lives are worse than yours really puts things into perspective. Helps me out when I am down
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Get an animal, something you can be with alot (I like dogs) so you can run with them, and basically have a companion, it does wonders.
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Meh, I got a friend that is just like you... well actually worst. I learned that he (we are friend since more then 18 years) told me that he actually got rape when he was about five. He is thinking every day about suicide. I called a couple of organism and the best of helping a friend (in that case you) is to bring you to talk to them. They have the real knowledge and knows how to deal with this stuff.
Keep your heads up, life can be a bitch but it also can be amazing!
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Depression is one of those wierd things that no one really can help you with. It's like speaking out to a void, you just tend to get a lot of nonsense back (if you get anything at all), but with that being said professional advice is the way to go.
As far as your friend goes, you can't worry about that. People are wierd around depression. It's not them going through it so they can't really handle it typically (especially high schoolers). I wouldn't read into it too much, and really you need to focus on you for right now regardless. Once this ordeal is over is when I would go back and talk to her. Explain about what happened and if/when you figure out what you need from the people around you ask her if she can do that for you as well. If she can, then there should be no issues. If she can't then I'm sorry, but that's not the kind of person you need around you, because these things never really go away.
Not to say it doesn't get better, or easier. It certainly does as you learn about your triggers and what really matters to you. And as hard as it is right now in the moment, it's just in the moment (however long that is). Time will pass as will the feelings, and when you get that chance to step back and look at it all you'll see exactly what I mean.
For now, relax. Do things you enjoy and you know you enjoy. Read, write, run, game do whatever it is you feel like doing whenever possible. Bottom line though is don't just sit around, you have to actually live in order to feel like you're living. Personally my therapy has always been hockey/soccer (granted only weekly so that doesn't always work in emergency situations) but you have to find your own. Even if your therapy is looking at places far away and imagining going there it's better than stewing. Of course you should be talking to someone and you need to continue to go to your therapist because while progress will always be slow (there is no magical 'fix person' button unfortunately) progress still occurs.
Every situation is different though, so feel free to disregard/change whatever it is you need to. I can only speak from what worked for me (as can everyone else that has had it and posted here). The key is to focus on you first and then worry about the rest of it. Trying to do too much will just end badly.
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If she left you just like that after confessing our secrets, that is not a friend.
That is not a friend, at all.
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Just sounds like teenage hormones doing their work. I had my fair share of depression and contemplating suicide. But you just have to go day after day and do your thing. Eventually I'm sure you'll find some friends and learn to love the life you have :D Chin up, man.
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I tried making a motivational blog. Nobody cared T.T
http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=319664
Find things that motivate you and try an concentrate on those. If you are having any thoughts about harming yourself or others seek professional help. Drugs do help some people, but in many cases they actually do more damage so be careful, only take prescribed medicine (even though I don't follow this advice too well myself with Mary Jane).
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I've been through this kinda-ish. I'm 17 and a junior and jesus is this year hard. Last year i was not diagnosed with clinical depression but did check out for all of its symptoms according to the DSM IV, I feel much better than i used to this year and its due to soul searching. What i want you to do is to stop worrying. I want you to clear your head, and when you do you are going to do something very useful, slow your breathing, grab a tennis or racquet-ball ball, find a quiet spot alone and toss it against the wall. While you do this i want you to concentrate on throwing it at a meh-ish speed nothing fast or slow and keep that rate, and the same breathing rate as you think about your life and who you are. If you are too ambitious then what you need to think about is what you think about, what are the most important parts of your life (btw this girl doesn't count, she just isn't that important even if you like her or are attracted to her, you didn't shew her away, your issues did, and that can be fixed. They KEY thing right now is to understand your priorities;
1. being happy
2. school work
3. friendships
4. extra currics
One thing you need to realize is that being happy will increase how well you do at everything, people like happy people, and it helps you do better at school.
Steps to feeling better go like this
1. Sleep well
2. Soul search, find out who you are and where your percieved better self is, and rationally think if its an attainable goal
3. Realize what will make you successful and happy is not what exists in highschool
About each one.
1. Sleeping well helps just about everything. Along with this modify your diet to have fruits and vegetables more than red meats and junk food and you'll notice an energy boost that may help you feel better
2. Soul search, this goes back to throwing the ball against the wall, think slowly, calmly about what has happened and how you can change it. Hell read a couple self help books like the rules of the game by neil strauss and the game, they were great reads and they, though horribly psychologically innacurate, might just help you feel better. Remember, drugs can help but statistical analysis has shown that they do not do better than the placebo, so this may help just as much
3. Finally, realize that this IS NOT i repeat IS NOT the end of your life and it only gets better. As a guy you don't finish maturing till 25 ish, so there is a lot to look forward to.
Finally i want you to talk to your therapist about how he/she is not helping and that you want to try to make the sessions more helpful.
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Eat right, excercise, get the fuck away from the computer. I think this advice applies to every depressed blog out there.
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EPT
