Sorry, I don't really know where else to go right now. I'm just really really depressed right now.
I actually do have depression and I am going to a psychiatrist for help, but I still don't really feel much better.
My problem is that I am too ambitious and I won't quit anything. Because of this, I often get into situations where I am overloaded with goals and in the end I fail to achieve anything.
Almost a year ago, I felt like I had lost everything. I'm a high school student. My grades in school were pretty bad, I competed poorly in track and field, and I competed poorly in my academic teams. The only redeeming factor in my life was a really good friend that I had. She's a girl.
However, one day, I really felt depressed as hell and I called her, and I kinda broke down. I kinda realize that I'm not really sane anymore and I do a lot of crazy things. Anyways, after that call, she stopped talking to me. It was really painful because I knew that it was my fault, but she was always there for me and now I really have nothing.
It's been a long and painful year and I had tried really hard to maintain relationships with that friend but just a few days ago, she told me that it really wasn't going to work out and pretty much forbid me from getting close to her again.
The problem is, my life is repeating itself again. I feel like I've lost everything too (same problems as last year). The only difference is that its worse. My parents... are sort of getting depressed as well (mostly from my breakdowns). And I really can't concentrate on schoolwork anymore.
I end up talking to myself in my head a lot and I don't really have anyone who will listen. I've tried making new friends but there's generally just this barrier between those you can really tell all your problems about.
I've been having thoughts almost everyday about suicide but I really don't have any way that I can do it (my house is a pretty safe place).
Once again, I'm really sorry for my teenage hormone story. I just need to get my voice heard. It's too frustrating to take it all in. If anyone else has any personal advice, I would love to hear some, but I still kinda doubt it will help me. Thank y'all for taking the time to read this.
Edit #1 I'm not religious. Don't give religious advice. Also, I won't do any form of illegal drugs (pot). If I will take any anti-depressants it will be something that my doctor will prescribe.
Edit #2 Everyone is saying how this girl isn't really a friend. I understand that already. Please don't say it anymore.
Edit #3 I eat well. I'm actually fairly healthy although I'm getting a little chubby right now.
Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Things get better. That girl who won't talk to you much anymore is honestly not that good a friend. Maybe you don't have many if any friends. Things get better, you just gotta wait it out. Try your hardest to do your studies, ditch your extracurriculars if they are too stressful. You get older, you get out of high school and out of your parents house, and life starts to make a lot more sense.
And until then, here's a kitten to get you through the day.
If she refuses to be there to help you when you are in need, than she was never a friend in the first place. Losing a friend can be tough, but she was not the one to make the decision by the looks of it. The only reason she should cut you off is if you truly did something monstrous towards her, which I want to doubt. If she did cut you off, don't look at her for comfort, because she won't give you any. Look around at the others around you and realize who your real friends are. Talk to your family as well. Your well being should be their first priority.
Im sorry you are going through such a hard time and sorry about your friend.. I'm also a bit worried about trying to give any advice since I have no qualifications and it seems like you are in a really delicate situation, but if you are still in highschool you are super young. You have much time ahead of you. Maybe a good way to deal with this situation is to try to change your mindset as much as you can. Set attainable goals and focus on making your future life better by working hard on them, and do it. Dont waste time thinking about how bad things are, instead use that time productively, imagine how much you could achieve then! Also your goals dont have to be to become #1. You can set a goal of getting in better shape through track and excercise, for example. You dont need to be state champ, just improve your health and physique, etc. Improve yourself and your situation, dont worry too much about proving something to someone else
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
Oh, shit, man - people are fallible, and that's a tough, horrible lesson to learn. Pm me if you feel like you want to talk. I'm out and about today but i'll try to respond promptly.
make yourself busy with anything. keeps you from thinking, which keeps you from being depressed. join group events (school clubs, sports (pickup games, local leagues), church events, volunteering). ive never heard someone who is always busy say that they are depressed. plus, the interaction with other people will help you out. your family and close friends are there to talk to you if you need to talk, but dont bring your drama to people you dont know yet. it will make you happier because they wont feel like they should distance themselves. as for your female friend, seems she is not such a good friend after all. but there are many fish in the sea, both for friends and companions. dont let one lost bite at the hook prevent you from casting your line back in the sea.
and, fuck, that kitten above is cute. made me smile. www.cuteoverload.com for more.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
if you wanna see a bad joke maybe you should look at the first reply to this thread. Properly prescribed drugs have helped people before
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
dont be so fucking dense. depression can be a medical issue and drugs have successfully treated some forms of depression.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
OP : First of all, find a hobby (besides gaming/internet). We've all been teenagers at one point and pretty much every teenager goes through such thoughts to certain extents. I don't know your story beyond what you've said but it really sounds like you need something to occupy yourself that is 1) not competitive and 2) time consuming.
It can be anything you enjoy, and maybe you already have a hobby, but honestly it takes your mind off of things and let's you "vent" through a constructive activity.
Next, I know it's hard to think that way at your age, but just don't worry what others think of you. That's not to say become a slob : do exercise (sounds like you already do), eat well and show enthusiasm for learning/activities, etc etc (IE try to live a fun active life) but don't worry about being popular or "cool"/having tons of friends. Real friends are rare. I know 100s of people having lived in 3 different cities for university for 7 years but only have had a few real friends in my entire life and even that wasn't perfect. Right now I haven't had a real friend since I moved from Montreal to Moncton and lost touch with people... but honestly it hasn't affected me much because I never have time to think about stuff like that in a normal day.
Working out is a good way to get rid of bad emotions IMO. Feeling tired to the point of exhaustion helps clear the mind. Just walking outside is a good way to escape things too (I like to walk in the middle of the night once in a while).
If you meet new people, don't confide in them too quickly. No one wants to be there for a stranger pretty much and you'll push people away by being clingy. Just be friendly and you'll meet people eventually. To be honest, when I was a teenager I had the same phase as you (confided in a girl and she stopped talking to me soon after) but I'm 24 now and I have not felt the need to confide my bad thoughts to anyone in over 5 years (even after having a terrible year last year where I quit pharmacy school after 3 years of bad grades and overall terrible city life that I hated).
There's no secret to happiness. Find activities you like, get involved in things and just be friendly. You'll meet people (good and bad) and you'll feel better with time. Start by working harder on your studies if you aren't satisfied with your grades : find a goal in life (IE what you want to make your career of) and you'll find a new motivation for studying with a goal in sight.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
No. When treating depression, drugs help a lot of people.
You can call it brain damage if you want, but fact is that in many ways, depression is brain damage, and taking drugs for it helps. It makes certain your brain produce the shit that makes you feel okay, even if you really aren't.
Now, I am not telling him to go use something on his own, but rather go to an expert, and ask whether or not he or she thinks he is better off treated purely with therapy, or with drugs as well.
Because a lot of people are helped pretty fast when it comes to depression just with drugs - and then they function well, but have to work out their issues with a therapist in addition, before they are healthy enough to come off the drugs.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
Fact is, when someone is having serious problem, and considering suicide, then going to an expert and asking for help is the smart thing to do.
And drugs help a lot of people.
Of course they are addictive and hard to stop with ... they don't fix what is really wrong with your mind, but they trick it into feeling fine regardless so you can function. And obviously that means you have to work with a therapist, or come to some sort of realization on your own as well.
But it sounded serious enough that I wanted to ask if he had considered it ... because, for serious depression, it is actually working very well for two of my friends (and the last didn't have any effect at all, or so he says).
Here's my response to some of the things you guys have pointed out
1.) Exercise I know exercise makes me feel better. The problem with exercise... is that it only makes me feel better for like... 30 minutes. After that I feel like crap again.
2.) Friends I do try and make friends. Honestly, I was in this situation a few years back. And then I met that girl, who really helped me out SO much. Even when all my other friends stopped caring, she stuck to my side (and I did the same for her). I really felt like she was my only real friend. Now, I honestly don't know if I can trust people. Any new friend has the potential of having the same situation again. And I really don't want to go through this heart break again. (I guess I started to like her a bit because it seemed like she felt the same to me)
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
Fact is, when someone is having serious problem, and considering suicide, then going to an expert and asking for help is the smart thing to do.
And drugs help a lot of people.
Of course they are addictive and hard to stop with ... they don't fix what is really wrong with your mind, but they trick it into feeling fine regardless so you can function. And obviously that means you have to work with a therapist, or come to some sort of realization on your own as well.
But it sounded serious enough that I wanted to ask if he had considered it ... because, for serious depression, it is actually working very well for two of my friends (and the last didn't have any effect at all, or so he says).
I understand your point and I don't entirely disagree. I just don't think you should throw that idea around to a stranger without much consideration. People cling to those type of ideas and many people would expect the drugs to work miracles. Others would enter a phase of thought where they start thinking they need to take those drugs to feel normal, etc.
Like I said, I know they are a valuable product that work. But only a qualified person should suggest them and only after knowing the person well enough.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Those drugs have a lot of side effects, are addictive and hard to stop and people often don't want to stop them afterwards for fear of their depressive thoughts returning. It's not a good idea to suggest such a thing without really knowing the person/case. They're not a bad option; they are however over-prescribed. I've seen so many people that took them being a student in pharmacy for 3 years, and honestly no one can justify the amount of people that take them.
Fact is, when someone is having serious problem, and considering suicide, then going to an expert and asking for help is the smart thing to do.
And drugs help a lot of people.
Of course they are addictive and hard to stop with ... they don't fix what is really wrong with your mind, but they trick it into feeling fine regardless so you can function. And obviously that means you have to work with a therapist, or come to some sort of realization on your own as well.
But it sounded serious enough that I wanted to ask if he had considered it ... because, for serious depression, it is actually working very well for two of my friends (and the last didn't have any effect at all, or so he says).
I understand your point and I don't entirely disagree. I just don't think you should throw that idea around to a stranger without much consideration. People cling to those type of ideas and many people would expect the drugs to work miracles. Others would enter a phase of thought where they start thinking they need to take those drugs to feel normal, etc.
Like I said, I know they are a valuable product that work. But only a qualified person should suggest them and only after knowing the person well enough.
he already has a psychiatrist. lets leave that discussion to them.
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
These are pretty much the problem then. First is learning self-control for your emotions. We all feel like going berserk once in a while (at least I do) but I've never done it because I have self-control. It's important to be able to control your emotions in the face of adversity. If you always blow up like that, no one can help you.
Second, you're asking for a person you can be clingy with pretty much. Why not just want a friend instead? You're already putting that next girl you meet on a pedestal and expecting her to listen to your stories constantly. What's the motivation for the girl to do so? You should wish to meet someone that interests you and that you enjoy being around instead! Sure, if you have a girlfriend you can confide in her... but you can't want a girlfriend for that reason primarily.
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
These are pretty much the problem then. First is learning self-control for your emotions. We all feel like going berserk once in a while (at least I do) but I've never done it because I have self-control. It's important to be able to control your emotions in the face of adversity. If you always blow up like that, no one can help you.
Second, you're asking for a person you can be clingy with pretty much. Why not just want a friend instead? You're already putting that next girl you meet on a pedestal and expecting her to listen to your stories constantly. What's the motivation for the girl to do so? You should wish to meet someone that interests you and that you enjoy being around instead! Sure, if you have a girlfriend you can confide in her... but you can't want a girlfriend for that reason primarily.
Unfortunately, that was what I had with the other girl. She really had all the right qualities for a friend. I honestly think that she may be going insane from stress as well, and I can't really blame her for that.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
dont be so fucking dense. depression can be a medical issue and drugs have successfully treated some forms of depression.
Some really stupid suggestions here. Suggesting a depressed guy to start taking illegal drugs? Really.. To the OP: I would suggest that you sit down and analyze what went wrong and could go better. Kind of reconstructing your own life. And then, set goals, both short and long term and work for it.
IN general, exercising and meeting new people -- and don't be narrow-minded in who you meet -- will help you get over the hump. Planning things out daily/weekly/monthyl will help you on being track for academics.
Also, try get yourself out there more, in any form to anywhere;even going to the library and studying would be preferable to staying cooped up at home.
I'm gonna be more precise than most people: Don't excercice, you need to follow a well layed out strength training program for 2-4 months and then reevaluate. Squat a lot. When you are contstantly making progress and you can measure it provides a constant source of happyness.
You just can't be miserable when you are constantly squatting more weight and looking better. Also everyone there is really supportive and helpful, considering most of us where skinny (or chubby) litle kids .
On March 12 2012 09:46 phosphorylation wrote: Some really stupid suggestions here. Suggesting a depressed guy to start taking illegal drugs? Really.. To the OP: I would suggest that you sit down and analyze what went wrong and could go better. Kind of reconstructing your own life. And then, set goals, both short and long term and work for it.
IN general, exercising and meeting new people -- and don't be narrow-minded in who you meet -- will help you get over the hump. Planning things out daily/weekly/monthyl will help you on being track for academics.
Also, try get yourself out there more, in any form to anywhere;even going to the library and studying would be preferable to staying cooped at home.
the term "drugs" is very generic, some drugs can help fight depression
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
I'm going to give a full disclaimer and say that depression isn't something that I have had to deal with a lot in my life. I had a few spurts, but no more than any average person. My wife deals with depression on a more regular basis, and while none of that makes me qualified to try to give you advice, I'm just going to attempt to talk with you for a bit, if that's okay.
I think you and I have pretty similar thoughts on how people work and friendships. I would tend to agree that she probably was your friend, and that I don't think that you pushed her away as much as your situaiton. I heard an analogy once that I think applies to what's going on. Relationships are like bank accounts. It is important to note that you cannot just continually withdrawl without ever depositing into the account. Since you are struggling right now with your life, you are probably just "overdrafting". I know that it might be tough to have that realization when you are going through what you are, but in the end relationships aren't just one way.
I also find it interesting that you seem to have a pretty stable understanding of a situation that you claim to be so unstable. Do you mind me asking, do you have any idea what triggers the differences?
I think the biggest thing to note, with friendships, with school, with everything the reason to stay motivated is because it gets better. You're young, there is a lot of life left, soon you can make all of your own decisions, control your life. I recently got some advice about work that I think also is applicable in life: Look for things that lead towards making your current situation what you want it to be, and then go for it. Instead of focusing on what it can't be, focus on what it can be.
I know that we're two people that have never met, but if you ever need someone to chat to or just to listen, let me know.
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
I'm going to give a full disclaimer and say that depression isn't something that I have had to deal with a lot in my life. I had a few spurts, but no more than any average person. My wife deals with depression on a more regular basis, and while none of that makes me qualified to try to give you advice, I'm just going to attempt to talk with you for a bit, if that's okay.
I think you and I have pretty similar thoughts on how people work and friendships. I would tend to agree that she probably was your friend, and that I don't think that you pushed her away as much as your situaiton. I heard an analogy once that I think applies to what's going on. Relationships are like bank accounts. It is important to note that you cannot just continually withdrawl without ever depositing into the account. Since you are struggling right now with your life, you are probably just "overdrafting". I know that it might be tough to have that realization when you are going through what you are, but in the end relationships aren't just one way.
I also find it interesting that you seem to have a pretty stable understanding of a situation that you claim to be so unstable. Do you mind me asking, do you have any idea what triggers the differences?
I think the biggest thing to note, with friendships, with school, with everything the reason to stay motivated is because it gets better. You're young, there is a lot of life left, soon you can make all of your own decisions, control your life. I recently got some advice about work that I think also is applicable in life: Look for things that lead towards making your current situation what you want it to be, and then go for it. Instead of focusing on what it can't be, focus on what it can be.
I know that we're two people that have never met, but if you ever need someone to chat to or just to listen, let me know.
That analogy does not apply to what happened to me. The argument started partially because I felt like I was as you would say "depositing too much in" and she would not let me "withdraw" anything. Basically, I felt like she was not doing enough to help me even when I had helped her so much. So we argued that one day and I felt really bad about it later. So I made a vow not to make her so mad at me so I started to give her a lot of stuff and help her and stuff (this was within the first week). But she just got pissed cause it seemed like I was just spamming. That's basically it. I don't really wanna talk about the relationship so much because it makes me feel bad. Basically my problem is life in general.
On March 12 2012 08:55 Wurdjschridit wrote: You've watched too many dramas.
I don't watch dramas. I don't really appreciate that comment.
For everyone else, everyone tells me that people like that aren't your real friends and stuff. But, I really find that really really difficult to accept. I tend to see people in black and white (good people or bad people). I honestly don't think that she did anything wrong, it was my fault.
I will confess that I am not really stable anymore. I have gone in these two or three hour sessions where I basically scream, cry, and destroy stuff (which stresses my parents out a lot). It's pretty bad.
I just wish someone (preferably female and my age) would be there for me and tell me its okay. I realize that I kinda think like a girl honestly. The way I act seems to fit into the descriptions of what girls do when their boyfriends dump them.
Aside from that, the girl isn't my only problem though. How can I remain motivated in school?
As much as I dislike the cliche, I don't think you should look at people as black and white because that is looking at people way too simply. Its difficult to accept that she wasn't a good friend because she meant a lot to you but as you saw you don't mean the same to her as she does to you. If you honestly were just telling her how hard it is for you right now then if she was really a good friend of yours she would have listened and tried to help you, not push you away. Friends are for when someone is having a tough time to be there for them, not leave them when they need them most. Right now just get over her. I don't think its wrong to want someone to be there for you to hear your problems but in your case I want to tell you to suck it up. You don't need someone right now to be there and tell you its okay. You're expecting someone else to tell you its okay when you know it isn't. Your problems are yours and instead of taking responsibility for it you just want to be comforted that its okay to just stand around and do nothing. Stop trying to escape from your problems and confront them head on. Its a bit harsh but I really think right now its what you need to hear and I'm not saying this to be condescending.
Of course I'm not able to say anything that will suddenly fix things, but I was in a situation not too different from yours for the last two years. I ended up dropping out of uni twice, and now I have no intention of going back.
I used to make the choices I did because of the expectaions of other, but now I'm living more for myself and I feel a lot better. After getting a job, first flipping burgers, now as tech support for an ISP (which I acutally love doing), I've been focusing on different ways to be happy.
By having a stable job that I don't hate, I'm free to do what I want on my spare time. Strangely though, I feel the best when I just to something simple, like taking a warm bath.
Seems I just ended up venting rather than giving advice. Either way, think about what you need to be happy and try to go for it, in my case it was just the stability of going to work everyday.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
Drugs never stabilize anybody by themselves. You need to use it well or they will fuck you up even more (I know a lot about that for personnal reason).
Well my first piece of advice would be to not take advice from strangers on the internet. My second would be to decide which of your problems is actually your problem
I went through a similar time. I was prescribed drugs - but after a month or so i stopped taking them. I don't know that I would recommend them. I would agree that you need to get out and do things. Monotony is pretty shitty though and that will be hard to escape while in High School. It will get better though I promise. American Education is poorly funded and not really efficient or conducive to sanity in many ways.
Also - try to refer to yourself as "I" in your internal monologue. Many people refer to themselves as "You" - and "I" is much better for your mental health. There's only one of you in there ^_^.
When it comes right down to it, intelligence and consciousness is probably just chemical reaction in the brain. This may be slightly scary - but think of the implications. If you are intelligent because of chemical reaction working in unison - plants are also intelligent, but in a different way. We like to say they are more "primitive" intelligences - but that's also what we said about the Mayans, Incas, etc - and they had highly sophisticated architectural technologies and social structures (albeit some were rather exploitative ones). You can take this thought process further - other things have different awarenesses based on chemical reaction; imagine the obscure consciousness of a planet or a star. We cannot really comprehend what it is like to be a star - but stars exist, and therefore being a star must be something. For some reason - the fact that animals function similarly to humans (more or less similar depending on relation [i.e. a dog is more like a human than a crab]) leads people to draw the line for intelligence at similar mammalia. I am of the opinion that it would not help a deep sea bacteria or a prehistoric dinosaur to "think" or have "awareness" at all similar to a human - and therefore it did not evolve that way. Whenever I am depressed I am usually thinking - whats the point, its all going to be over sooner or later, right? BUT - even with no religious aspect at all, what happens if when you die in the 3rd dimension, it is merely a transition of the 3rd dimensional self into higher dimensions? The faster you move in the 3rd dimension, the slower you move in the 4th and these relationships are not fully understood. This is what plagued Einstein for the last years of his life - the discovery of a GUT - Grand Unified Theory to replace the Standard Model.
Grand Unified Theory - All Universal Features Included! Standard Model - Oops! Can't explain that - lets just add a note here. Oh and we'll need a new constant here. And if you use this equation you should be able to roughly guesstimate the variable here. Your error is only like +/- 25-30%, don't worry about it.
Anyways - All that this science boils down to is the fact that honestly - we don't know what the fuck is going on out there. And we all might be in the matrix. So do what I do - don't take this shit too seriously, cross your fingers and hope for aliens.
On March 12 2012 08:57 aebriol wrote: Have you tried any kind of medicine / drugs for it? I know that they can stabilize a lot of people, while others don't notice an effect at all. Have you considered trying it?
I have three friends who have struggled with similar things ... two were helped with medicines, the last wasn't and he said he didn't notice any difference at all when he was on or off.
....................................is that some sort of a bad joke? Sure go ahead take medicine if you want permenant brain damage
dont be so fucking dense. depression can be a medical issue and drugs have successfully treated some forms of depression.
I got depression problems, and allrdy take all those medicine, and for me did not work, BUT, dont really hurt try IF you go to a doctor, ofc, not selfprescripton and such dumb thing like this. Ok?
Best of lucky, just who have it know how it is, but i believe, every1 can get not "heal" completely, but you ll know how to control better. I dont really believe in medicine for that problem, or at least i never found a good doctor that solved my problem.
I would highly advise against medication - as someone who has taken medication in the past.
At the very least, exhaust all other methods first.
I really REALLY disliked taking the medication - not only did I feel even more horrible and shitty initially - I found that instead of reversing or repressing depression, it simply dulled me to the point of apathy.
Add me on AIM:GbSkillgasm Skpye:Skillgasm StarCraft 2:Maddog : 129
I need to talk to you, I was recently discharged from a psychiatric hospital after a three week stay for trying to drown myself.
I have Major Depression, Severe Social/situational/phobia-based anxiety, manic episodes, psychotic episodes, ADHD, OCD and possibly Psychosis, schizophrenia, bi-polar (but i'm too young to get a firm diagnoses). Although there is a good chance that I have Schizophrenia. I have voices that talk to me inside my head and sometimes out loud and I get paranoid and think that the government is trying to follow me everywhere and take me.
I know what you are feeling, this is not the end.
Please talk to me, I will do anything I can to help you my friend.
Your life is worth living, it may not seem like it now, it may seem like you will never achieve anything but trust me you will. I beg of you to add me and talk to me or go to the hospital, call 9-11, you are a good person and deserve to live.
2.) Find something you are good at or something that you enjoy and do it! Creative work in particular if you're into that sort of stuff. And even if you're not, find something creative/productive to do and do it. It helps you express yourself in a way you understand and might let out some of the negative energy/emotions.
Brutaxilos you need to find stuff in your life that is positive and makes you happy. making friends is the hardest thing to do sometimes. You run track you said, maybe try to make some friends you can go running with. Join a gym maybe? I am assuming you play SC, maybe find some gaming community or practice partners that use teamspeak or ventrillo and make friends through that? depression isn't fun and alot of people wont want to talk about stuff because they don't understand it and its easier for them to shut it out. One thing i can say is people can suck sometimes but dont let that get you down. Find music you like, find stuff you like to read, sports you like to play, learn an instrument, and when your trying to make friends just be yourself and don't try to impress anyone too much or anything. Make friends with common interests. Someone else said that life sucks and eventually it gets better once you graduate high school... Well life is what you make of it and it can be the best thing in existence if you can just find what makes you happy. It doesnt matter how old you are, once you find out the things that make you happy you can use them to help you through the hard times. Its hard being a human and knowing your own mortality.
Goodluck man, don't do anything your family or future self would regret. Life will get better, it always does. That girl who doesnt talk to you anymore is a total bitch to be honest, but your young and the stuff you might have said to her was hard for someone your age to accept probably. Anyways hope I helped and hope you make it through.
If you called your friend telling her you were depressed and she stopped being friends with you, I would argue that she is not the type of friend you want to have. You want to have friends that will be there for you.
It's not very easy to find them though. Unfortunately, a lot of life is just painful endurance. But just try finding something that you love doing, and someone else that you care about, then hold onto those things. I know that it's not easy (I've also been depressed for the past ~4 years), but it's the only thing that I can think of that's worth hoping for.
Idk, I know this is really general, probably non-helpful advice, so sorry =/
But like I say in most depression blogs I post in, if you ever want someone to PM about anything, don't hesitate.
On March 12 2012 08:57 darkscream wrote: Things get better. That girl who won't talk to you much anymore is honestly not that good a friend. Maybe you don't have many if any friends. Things get better, you just gotta wait it out. Try your hardest to do your studies, ditch your extracurriculars if they are too stressful. You get older, you get out of high school and out of your parents house, and life starts to make a lot more sense.
And until then, here's a kitten to get you through the day.
the kitty made my day :D But seriously I would recommend maybe doing some kind of charity work, seeing people who's lives are worse than yours really puts things into perspective. Helps me out when I am down
Meh, I got a friend that is just like you... well actually worst. I learned that he (we are friend since more then 18 years) told me that he actually got rape when he was about five. He is thinking every day about suicide. I called a couple of organism and the best of helping a friend (in that case you) is to bring you to talk to them. They have the real knowledge and knows how to deal with this stuff.
Keep your heads up, life can be a bitch but it also can be amazing!
Depression is one of those wierd things that no one really can help you with. It's like speaking out to a void, you just tend to get a lot of nonsense back (if you get anything at all), but with that being said professional advice is the way to go.
As far as your friend goes, you can't worry about that. People are wierd around depression. It's not them going through it so they can't really handle it typically (especially high schoolers). I wouldn't read into it too much, and really you need to focus on you for right now regardless. Once this ordeal is over is when I would go back and talk to her. Explain about what happened and if/when you figure out what you need from the people around you ask her if she can do that for you as well. If she can, then there should be no issues. If she can't then I'm sorry, but that's not the kind of person you need around you, because these things never really go away.
Not to say it doesn't get better, or easier. It certainly does as you learn about your triggers and what really matters to you. And as hard as it is right now in the moment, it's just in the moment (however long that is). Time will pass as will the feelings, and when you get that chance to step back and look at it all you'll see exactly what I mean.
For now, relax. Do things you enjoy and you know you enjoy. Read, write, run, game do whatever it is you feel like doing whenever possible. Bottom line though is don't just sit around, you have to actually live in order to feel like you're living. Personally my therapy has always been hockey/soccer (granted only weekly so that doesn't always work in emergency situations) but you have to find your own. Even if your therapy is looking at places far away and imagining going there it's better than stewing. Of course you should be talking to someone and you need to continue to go to your therapist because while progress will always be slow (there is no magical 'fix person' button unfortunately) progress still occurs.
Every situation is different though, so feel free to disregard/change whatever it is you need to. I can only speak from what worked for me (as can everyone else that has had it and posted here). The key is to focus on you first and then worry about the rest of it. Trying to do too much will just end badly.
Just sounds like teenage hormones doing their work. I had my fair share of depression and contemplating suicide. But you just have to go day after day and do your thing. Eventually I'm sure you'll find some friends and learn to love the life you have :D Chin up, man.
Find things that motivate you and try an concentrate on those. If you are having any thoughts about harming yourself or others seek professional help. Drugs do help some people, but in many cases they actually do more damage so be careful, only take prescribed medicine (even though I don't follow this advice too well myself with Mary Jane).
I've been through this kinda-ish. I'm 17 and a junior and jesus is this year hard. Last year i was not diagnosed with clinical depression but did check out for all of its symptoms according to the DSM IV, I feel much better than i used to this year and its due to soul searching. What i want you to do is to stop worrying. I want you to clear your head, and when you do you are going to do something very useful, slow your breathing, grab a tennis or racquet-ball ball, find a quiet spot alone and toss it against the wall. While you do this i want you to concentrate on throwing it at a meh-ish speed nothing fast or slow and keep that rate, and the same breathing rate as you think about your life and who you are. If you are too ambitious then what you need to think about is what you think about, what are the most important parts of your life (btw this girl doesn't count, she just isn't that important even if you like her or are attracted to her, you didn't shew her away, your issues did, and that can be fixed. They KEY thing right now is to understand your priorities; 1. being happy 2. school work 3. friendships 4. extra currics
One thing you need to realize is that being happy will increase how well you do at everything, people like happy people, and it helps you do better at school. Steps to feeling better go like this 1. Sleep well 2. Soul search, find out who you are and where your percieved better self is, and rationally think if its an attainable goal 3. Realize what will make you successful and happy is not what exists in highschool
About each one. 1. Sleeping well helps just about everything. Along with this modify your diet to have fruits and vegetables more than red meats and junk food and you'll notice an energy boost that may help you feel better 2. Soul search, this goes back to throwing the ball against the wall, think slowly, calmly about what has happened and how you can change it. Hell read a couple self help books like the rules of the game by neil strauss and the game, they were great reads and they, though horribly psychologically innacurate, might just help you feel better. Remember, drugs can help but statistical analysis has shown that they do not do better than the placebo, so this may help just as much 3. Finally, realize that this IS NOT i repeat IS NOT the end of your life and it only gets better. As a guy you don't finish maturing till 25 ish, so there is a lot to look forward to. Finally i want you to talk to your therapist about how he/she is not helping and that you want to try to make the sessions more helpful.
Just talk to someone, anyone, even remotely close to you - your parents, your relatives, your siblings, your cousins. Get help. MOST MOST MOST importantly, DON'T KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
As for that "close friend" of yours, the fact that she unfriended you when you needed help speaks volumes about her poor character. Forget about her, or at least try your best to. She's not worth your time.
This one, my personal favorite, is about positivity in general. http://blip.tv/day9tv/day-9-s-musings-being-relentlessly-positive-5837990 . Remember, everyone has the rite to a pursuit of happiness. The only way to truly pursue something is to be able to achieve. Everyone, including you, has the ability to be happy. You just have to tap it.
You could get prescription drugs. Another thing you could do is fix your underlying problem. A lot of times depression has an underlying problem. For me it was my lack of empathy from Asperger's making me chronically insecure due to lack of knowledge about social crap. Finally, you can wait. Oftentimes, depression will sort itself out, as by its very nature, it is irrational. Depression is basically being sad for sadness' sake. It only exists because it still exists by a certain point in its development. I used both of these methods to get out of my ten year long suicidal streak.
I know this sounds way too simple but it solved my depression issues. What do you eat? Do you eat candy at all or fast food? That stuff will bring you down an extra notch. Some people can do it and seem OK because the rest of their life is good. But for other it's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Basically stop eating everything that's greasy or highly processed and look into eating things that are closer to nature.
I sort of randomly clicked on your blog as I honestly never read any. I actually thought it'd be funny to read it considering the title, but it turned out not to be so funny. Anyway, I really really really think you should go to http://www.lovelinetapes.com/ and start listening.. feel free to start with the top rated shows to get your feet wet. LoveLine circa 95-05 is the best to help with everything, especially your problems, and be entertained all the while.
to be frank, you're in highschool so your friends right now don't matter in the grand scheme of things. After high school you'll make new friends and stop talking to your old ones, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. it just sounds to me like you just want sex with girls
also you're smarter than people in here just randomly telling you to blindly take medicine, but be careful about doctors too. There are plenty of dogtors out there, so if he does prescribe something but you feel even worse // you feel like it'll be a vice for you later on then quit it early imo
Having someone listen to you definitely helps. Been there, can definitely speak for its virtues myself. Hopefully having us read your words will bring some solace to your mind.
it doesnt matter how you judge her right now because if you WERE feeling and thinking correctly then it wouldnt matter how you judge her, because you would have the confidence and self-respect and power to decide for yourself how to judge her.
you need to identify your problems, ie that you hate yourself and why do you hate yourself
then identify the solutions and things that inspire you (or search for something, since you're young you might not have something yet... ). it has to be a concept or feeling that you believe in and would want to strive towards because it stirs up an emotion that you can trust in
for example if you love martial arts/jackie chan/fighting then you can start training in a gym/club , and any time you start to lose your way you will be able to remember how much you love martial arts (watch a film to inspire yourself) and that will re-energise your emotional willpower
once you start to achieve your goals again , everything else (confidence, girls) will start to take care of itself by itself.
and consequently you have learnt some valuable life lessons. how to live, how to help others to live, and of course the fact that you can trust women innately about as far as you can throw them
Perhaps start getting fit? Whenever I'm down I find going for a jog and blasting music a great way to clear my head or think about things either because I'm too tired to care or because it feels good to exert yourself
every time i feel depressed about anything, be it life in general or a specific thing, i remind myself (from the little experience i have) that it'll get better and i just trudge on
Go talk to a psychiatrist. Especially if you have suicidial thoughts on a daily basis, trust me. TLers can give all sorts of advice but with dealing with a depression the best thing you can do for yourself is to talk to a professional.
Don't worry about your parents. If your sadness if the cause of their sadness then the best thing you can do to help them is help yourself.
Loads of wise words here already, a lot of them from personal experiences. I had several tough times in my short life (22 years) so far, and well I guess I found ways to make it through because I'm still here.
- Running/exercising - this is good, one summer I failed to land any research/internship so I decided to fuck working altogether (didn't want a sales/service part-time job kind of thing) and just went around exercising a lot. It helps your mind by keeping a solid goal in your head (make sure you set a specific weight/muscle/whatever goal), and it's always a nice feeling when you step out of shower and check out the sexy beast that is you in the mirror.
- Meeting new friends - obviously in life you meet different people, old and new. Losing one doesn't mean you have to gain one of similar traits to "fill the gap" or "restore the balance". You don't have to go full out and aim directly to replace the lost spot. Instead, have an open mind and open heart. Be ready, be accepting, and discover/re-discover friendships as you ride along the flow.
- Gaming - not as physically healthy as exercising, but a viable option nonetheless. After all, this is TL. I wouldn't recommend this as a long-term solution or as a goal in life. Still, immersing yourself in the virtual world of competition helps you take your mind off the troubles at hand in real life. Not harmful to enjoy at healthy doses, but don't get too deep.
All of the above, I agree with. However, from my personal experience, I found what I needed in music.
- Music - it's super-broad, as in you can do anything from listening / playing / composing / etc. You don't have to be a talented prodigy who's taken lessons since the toddler ages to enjoy music. It's never too late to pick up an instrument - I have several friends who started playing the piano at age 20+. Classical guitar is a popular one amongst college students. If you have the comfort of a proper house, trying out a drum set would be nice too. Hell, if you're not the instrument-type, try singing? You don't have to take an active part in playing anyway, you can choose to sit back and enjoy whatever music appeals to you. The thing is, once you start exploring music, there are so many paths to follow, each with great depths you would have never imagined.
I don't imagine that all your troubles would go away when you dive into music, whichever way you decide to. Music is not a magical source of happiness that people can immediately find the answers from. I do, however, know that music (specifically, I'm a pianist) held me together in the tough times.
I wish you the best, and feel free to PM me if you want to know more about the wonderful world of classical music! =)
On March 12 2012 08:51 Brutaxilos wrote: I feel like I've lost everything
I know this will sound harsh, but.. kid, you don't even know what "losing everything" means so stop using this phrase like something actually bad happened. Losing everything = losing your parents, seeing your house with all belongings burn down, your wife/child getting murdered. What you're experiencing is what majority of teenagers go through. You have a roof over your head, loving/caring parents, good means to educate yourself. That's already more than a lot of people not even dare to dream about.
In 2-3 years this stupid feeling will be over. To make this time go by faster I recommend finding a healthy hobby (i.e. sports, NOT more computer games).
P.S. And yes I've also experienced literally same problems, which is why I'm so sure they will go away once you get into 20s.
I understand that. That makes me feel worse. Life only gets worse... Great.
+1 to what Inori said. I have struggled with depression since high school. Life still isn't always roses and sunshine, but as I got older I learned more about myself, what makes me happy, and how to cope with negative parts of life. I am so, so glad that I didn't do anything drastic, especially when I was so young.
People tend to tell me to find something that makes me happy, but the thing is... nothing really makes me happy anymore. Things that I normally look forward to (eating, sleeping, SCing, listening to music, running) just don't give me the same feeling.
I used to be a lot like you, and still am a little bit.
I was depressed since High School and I am in third year university now. I think most of my depression came from my anxiety though. I have high levels of anxiety in the things I do, socializing, running, exercising, etc.
I am taking medication for anxiety-depression and it's pretty helpful. Talk with your psychiatrist and see how it goes.
You have more guts than me because you come out openly and ask for help, talk about it. One of the most difficult parts for me was hiding my anxiety and depression because I was afraid what others would think of me. And hiding it did not help, at all. It made it a lot more burdensome, and I still have some difficulty revealing it.
Anyway, it does get better, and I have to agree with much of the advice here. Especially with the advice of just keeping yourself busy. One of the things that fuels depression and anxiety is just sitting and staring at it. Focus on something else, refocus your energy so to speak. I find that helps me. Just forgetting about it. Then when you finish a task and look at your feeling again, its much lighter or not there
Feel free to message me, or ask anything. I am 21 years old and I was depressed for much of my later teenage years.
On March 13 2012 11:39 Brutaxilos wrote: People tend to tell me to find something that makes me happy, but the thing is... nothing really makes me happy anymore. Things that I normally look forward to (eating, sleeping, SCing, listening to music, running) just don't give me the same feeling.
You're going to have times like that while dealing with depression. It's just how it is and unfortunately not much can be done to change it.
The idea though is to just do something to get going. It's really to do nothing than to get you to reset, which is exactly what you need. Best analogy is think of your head as a processor. Right now it's sputtering and lagging because you're trying to do too much, so you need to shut it down and start back up again in order to stop the sputtering.
The key is to do, not to think, just do. Once you've done that and gotten it all off your head then come back to the problem.
EDIT: Oh and it does get better. That much is always certain.
I just don't know what to do. I really can't focus on my homework and frankly, I don't even know whats bugging me. It's just really really painful to just do anything.
If it hasn't been posted already, go to depressionforums.org. It's a great resources for people with depression.
I'm also a high schooler suffering depression but I haven't been diagnosed yet or seen the doctor. I'm too scared to even ask my parents to see a professional.
Tips from a fellow suffering highschooler: - Take up something that will relax you and take your mind off depression, this will help you focus. - Treat yourself better and take good care of yourself. - Stay positive during the most difficult of times. The depression will challenge you during tough times.
Again, I'm sorry if any of this has already been stated.
On March 13 2012 15:39 Philipd122 wrote: If it hasn't been posted already, go to depressionforums.org. It's a great resources for people with depression.
I'm also a high schooler suffering depression but I haven't been diagnosed yet or seen the doctor. I'm too scared to even ask my parents to see a professional.
Tips from a fellow suffering highschooler: - Take up something that will relax you and take your mind off depression, this will help you focus. - Treat yourself better and take good care of yourself. - Stay positive during the most difficult of times. The depression will challenge you during tough times.
Again, I'm sorry if any of this has already been stated.
Forgive me my ignorance, but what is good about a forum of self diagnosed depressed people? I'd get a diagnosis first and then find help through people who have actually studied that shit. Maybe afterwards visit a forum about this.
I mean you don't know what the actual cause of your sadness is. It can be A LOT of things. Ranging from fear/phobias, food problems, social problems, traumatic experiences and more. And there's different way to treat all those things.
Maybe you don't even have a depression. You don't know yet, only way you can know is by visiting a psychiatrist.
... Or maybe I'm sort of a hipster depressed person. I've always wanted to be a hipster.
On March 13 2012 15:39 Philipd122 wrote: If it hasn't been posted already, go to depressionforums.org. It's a great resources for people with depression.
I'm also a high schooler suffering depression but I haven't been diagnosed yet or seen the doctor. I'm too scared to even ask my parents to see a professional.
Tips from a fellow suffering highschooler: - Take up something that will relax you and take your mind off depression, this will help you focus. - Treat yourself better and take good care of yourself. - Stay positive during the most difficult of times. The depression will challenge you during tough times.
Again, I'm sorry if any of this has already been stated.
Forgive me my ignorance, but what is good about a forum of self diagnosed depressed people? I'd get a diagnosis first and then find help through people who have actually studied that shit. Maybe afterwards visit a forum about this.
I mean you don't know what the actual cause of your sadness is. It can be A LOT of things. Ranging from fear/phobias, food problems, social problems, traumatic experiences and more. And there's different way to treat all those things.
Maybe you don't even have a depression. You don't know yet, only way you can know is by visiting a psychiatrist.
... Or maybe I'm sort of a hipster depressed person. I've always wanted to be a hipster.
I kinda knew I was going to get a response like this.
The point of a forum of "self diagnosed depressed people" is
- You can read experiences of people in a similar situation and get help from people who are actually currently experiencing depression/mood disorders. - Also most people on the website are already diagnosed. I'm sort of just a different case. - It's a great space to put your stories through where people will read it and actually not give ignorant responses.
Also regarding your second point, what if I told you one of my symptons is self harm or suicidal thoughts? Would that convince you at all? I'm not saying I experience both but I chose not to include explicit points purely because this is not the forum for it and I hoped people would just somewhat believe what I'm experiencing without having to make a long list.
On March 13 2012 15:39 Philipd122 wrote: If it hasn't been posted already, go to depressionforums.org. It's a great resources for people with depression.
I'm also a high schooler suffering depression but I haven't been diagnosed yet or seen the doctor. I'm too scared to even ask my parents to see a professional.
Tips from a fellow suffering highschooler: - Take up something that will relax you and take your mind off depression, this will help you focus. - Treat yourself better and take good care of yourself. - Stay positive during the most difficult of times. The depression will challenge you during tough times.
Again, I'm sorry if any of this has already been stated.
Forgive me my ignorance, but what is good about a forum of self diagnosed depressed people? I'd get a diagnosis first and then find help through people who have actually studied that shit. Maybe afterwards visit a forum about this.
I mean you don't know what the actual cause of your sadness is. It can be A LOT of things. Ranging from fear/phobias, food problems, social problems, traumatic experiences and more. And there's different way to treat all those things.
Maybe you don't even have a depression. You don't know yet, only way you can know is by visiting a psychiatrist.
... Or maybe I'm sort of a hipster depressed person. I've always wanted to be a hipster.
I kinda knew I was going to get a response like this.
The point of a forum of "self diagnosed depressed people" is
- You can read experiences of people in a similar situation and get help from people who are actually currently experiencing depression/mood disorders. - Also most people on the website are already diagnosed. I'm sort of just a different case. - It's a great space to put your stories through where people will read it and actually not give ignorant responses.
Also regarding your second point, what if I told you one of my symptons is self harm or suicidal thoughts? Would that convince you at all? I'm not saying I experience both but I chose not to include explicit points purely because this is not the forum for it and I hoped people would just somewhat believe what I'm experiencing without having to make a long list.
Fair enough.. But you don´t need to convince me of anything I´m not really qualified to diagnose you . It was just a thought about doing what's best for 'healing' your mental problems. It's a bit like people on these forums being worried about their wrists while they should just visit a doctor for proper treatment.
Weed amplifies depressions. Severely. It's a great drug if you're in a stable sense of mind, but if you're not, it will ruin you.
That said, I can't really help. If I wanted to be nice, I'd tell you it'll pass and it gets better eventually, but that'd probably be a lie. Psychiatric medicine is an option, but honestly, that will unleash an entirely different bag of problems upon you, plus the dependance on the medicine to function as well, which isn't really a solution to the problem - it's merely swapping it with something else.
I don't know. Try to find your passion. The thing you live for. Something you can spend your entire day doing, without knowing time passes. Figure out what it is, and keep doing it. Dedicate your entire self to it. Time will pass, and things will change. You might not feel better, but time will pass and things will change. Somehow.
Have you tried reading some books? If you'll be sucked up into the story you can get away from reality for awhile, then come back and things might look differently.
No one can give you some magic nugget to cure a state of thought that you have created for yourself.
Additionally, no magic pill will "fix" you. In fact, most anti-depressants carry very strong negative side effects and leave people feeling like zombies.
You have to wake up one day and make a choice to be a different person, then stick to that decision.
Depression can be mitigated naturally by the following: Vitamins, Exercise, Sunlight, Hobbies, Small goals, and most of all self-confidence.
You may think self-confidence is something that comes from success or inherent attributes to be proud of, but really it's a "chicken or the egg" question.
You can be self confident as a homeless bum with 2 teeth. It's all about having belief in yourself and who you are as a person.
You're not going to like the last thing I'm going to say, but it needs to be said:
Don't take the easy road. It's so easy in our society to just claim that everything is stacked against you, and that your life is awful, and that you can't go on. Bullshit.
Sitting there feeling sorry for yourself is the easy road. You need to start seizing opportunities and ACTIVELY be positive. Don't sit in your head and give your psyche excuses by falling into depressed thought cycles.
steps to feel better: 1. get on a stable sleep schedule (ideally sleeping nights) 2. get outside during the day when the sun is out for at least 10-30 minutes (every day ideally) 3. smile 4. eat healthy 5. exercise 6. get rid of any drama in your life, that shit will never get you anywhere
I'm just going to leave you with a youtube video and a movie/book suggestion. Both which I watched when I was in high school and felt pretty shitty. These videos changed who I was as a person, inspired me to live my life in a way which made me happy and to be able to look and believe in the positive aspects of life.
It was a documentary about positive thinking and getting what you wanted in your life. It was also a book. You can probably find it online, or grab the book from your local library.
I hope maybe watching these videos might teach you something about yourself, and maybe inspire you to get rid of this depression. Also remember high school isn't an accurate representation of life. Its a little bubble world and you will have many opportunities to do whatever you want afterwards, as well as meet completely new people and friends you can connect with.
On March 16 2012 10:19 TuElite wrote: How was your day today Brutaxilos ?
Good. Right now I'm having a four day weekend because my school is low on budget. It's a nice rest for a while. Hopefully it will last.
I'm sorry for not replying as much to this blog. It sorta went invisible on the sidelines for a while so I thought it was dead. I felt a little better in the past few days as well (I had a two hour session with my doctor, didn't really fix any problems but I somehow felt a lot better afterwards). I really want to thank all you guys for your help.
I'm sorry for the bump. School began again after a four day break. I was feeling pretty good during the weekend. Right when school started, life started becoming shitty again.
You can't bump blogs as far as I know. The only way to keep track of them is through your subscribed threads. You said talking to your doctor helped you feel better, was it just talking to someone that helped you ? Do you think you could have achieved the same relief by talking to people on the internet like you did with this blog ? What about family members ?
I'm just curious and I realize this might be very intruding feel free not to respond or PM me if you want.