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rredtooth
5464 Posts
god i wish i still had the reports. there was data on the quality of sex, the level of social stigma, the ratio of relationships that partake in oral sex, happiness rating, etc etc. why do i never keep the useful knowledge in my head haha. basically if you want to base your decision off of empirical research and risk being the mean then i'd say you're fine with it. | ||
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Angelbelow
United States3728 Posts
The only version of friends with benefits that works is strangers with benefits, AKA a one night stands. This is just what I've witnessed and experienced both first hand, 2nd hand, and through stories from a 3rd party. So it doesn't 100% apply to you and your situation because nothing is, ofcourse, 100%. Hope this helps. | ||
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dranjam
Poland198 Posts
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Cr4zyH0r5e
Peru1308 Posts
Things got really messy: She decided to stop it, but then we somehow ended up doing it again, then she wanted to stop it again but wasn't sure, I got a gf, she got weirded out and we don't talk anymore. I'm still cool with her brother, though so it wasn't the worst possible scenario, but I just feel like "friends with benefits" is bound to get messy. | ||
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Frumpysnoo
United States247 Posts
When this happened I had a mix of emotions, but mostly regret. While I was alright with it (not seeing her anymore) the first week or so, I found myself second guessing where to go or what to do because we pretty much relied on eachother for the physical aspect of a relationship, while also having fun together (i.e your salsa could be an example). It's almost like a best friend of a few years saying "Hey, I think we should just be regular friends again. No more talking to eachother every day, doing things together etc." Once you progress a relationship with someone, it's really hard to back-track to where your relationship with eachother was before. I had the feelings similiar to being dumped, and ended up blaming myself for letting someone like her pass through my life without me doing anything about it. I never thought I'd care about her, but the day that she stopped calling, meeting me for coffee and talking over the phone I realized that I did care for her. Anyways, sorry for practically making this my blog here. Basically, just consider the fact that if you become FWB's she could potentially end up being in a relationship with someone else. If this is strictly what you're looking for, and you don't want a relationship with this girl eventually, then solid. But if you think you might have stronger feelings for her down the road you need to tread lightly. It could either form an actual relationship between the two of you, or she would see that you're getting feelings for her and, as a friend, she would stop being your FWB as she wouldn't want to hurt you in the end. | ||
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Cereb
Denmark3388 Posts
I mean, there were hurt feelings for some periods but in the end I remained friends with those I've tried it with...Would probably say I got abit closer to them actually. It might help if you just behave like it's the most normal thing in the world and try not to change the way you feel and behave even after you're done banging. Also: On January 22 2012 10:15 dranjam wrote: Don't worry about what happens next. Maybe it will be perfect, maybe it will all turn to shit. If you think about it too much, you are wasting your time. Life is always ups and downs, my advice is just to have fun and take it as it is. All the best to you mate .Words of wisdom  But I'm not sure...if this really truly is your best friend and you have don't have any kind of desire to be in a relationship with this girl at all and would just prefer to remain friends til the end of time...then it would probably have been best not to do it in the first place  | ||
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Inzek
Chile802 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + wn honestamente conociendo a las minas aca.. no va a funcionar... no la pierdas como amiga. hay mas minas also redtooth i want those reports :S | ||
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Auren
United States82 Posts
Basically, you get the choice of: a) telling your future girlfriend that you and your best friend had that kind of relationship...with the likely response being she doesn't want you two to see each other anymore/ends up having trust issues with the two of spending time alone. or b) you don't tell her at all... and then she ends up getting pissed off at you when she finds out later on which will likely either bring you back to a) or end your relationship all together or c) you never tell her and pray to god or whatever she never finds out. In my experience, girls tend to get more pissed off at you the longer you keep something from them :\ As much as you may want to tell yourself you won't be dating another girl that has jealousy issues I think you should be realistic and understand that, in this particular case, those reactions are "normal" rather than "crazy jealous bitch". Keep in mind, this same issue is going to be a problem with your best friend and her future boyfriends as well. I personally think it's a bad idea mostly because it's someone you consider your best friend. My best friend is female as well and being able to do things like hang out with each other without a boyfriend or girlfriend in tow only works because they trust we are "just friends". Having a past, physical relationship suddenly throws a very real amount of doubt into the equation. | ||
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darkscream
Canada2310 Posts
If you can handle that graphic thought without feeling bad, then you're in the clear. | ||
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rd
United States2586 Posts
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decker247777
United States62 Posts
lets just say this friends with benefits doesn't work out alot of the time. | ||
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FaZe
Canada472 Posts
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mordk
Chile8385 Posts
On January 22 2012 10:15 dranjam wrote: Don't worry about what happens next. Maybe it will be perfect, maybe it will all turn to shit. If you think about it too much, you are wasting your time. Life is always ups and downs, my advice is just to have fun and take it as it is. All the best to you mate .This is actually awesome advice thanks... When thinking about this, considering all the experiences I read here, both positive and negative, I can't help but think I should just let go and solve situations as they come by and have lots of fun, particularly after such a long lonely time. I'm just scared to lose my friendship. I don't know if I'm stressing this hard enough. I absolutely LOVE this friendship. On January 22 2012 11:51 Inzek wrote: imo, dont get THAT involved, theres tons of girls to fuck, there are not tons of freinds (good friends) + Show Spoiler + wn honestamente conociendo a las minas aca.. no va a funcionar... no la pierdas como amiga. hay mas minas also redtooth i want those reports :S Gotta love the hometown advice :D On January 22 2012 12:30 Auren wrote: As much as you may want to tell yourself you won't be dating another girl that has jealousy issues I think you should be realistic and understand that, in this particular case, those reactions are "normal" rather than "crazy jealous bitch". Keep in mind, this same issue is going to be a problem with your best friend and her future boyfriends as well. Yes I definitely understand this, I think that whenever I start a relationship it's gonna be a problem. I mean, it's only normal for a girl to be jealous of another girl you had intimacy with, this kind of jealousy I can understand. When I say "crazy jealous bitch" I mean it ahaha, this girl was pathologically jealous. On January 22 2012 10:13 Angelbelow wrote: Girls wanting to be friends with benefits = she likes you and wants a relationship. (This is assuming you guys do it more than once and each time you do it the odds of her wanting a relationship increases.) I can't tell you how many times I've seen this situation unfold before my eyes whether its personal experience or the experience of my friends. Being in a fraternity back in my college days, this shit happens all the time and its always a mess. If shes really your "best friend" then doing it even once is probably going to change the nature of your friendship forever. . This is one of my biggest doubts about this. I know for certain I can keep it casual, but does her wanting to do this mean she can do the same? Even if she states she doesn't want a relationship I still have my doubts. | ||
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RedJustice
United States1004 Posts
If you have serious doubts about anything in a relationship, it will probably cause problems. If you keep worrying, look elsewhere for a fuck buddy. | ||
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ChoboDane
Denmark98 Posts
Robert Herrick wrote: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old time is still a-flying: And this same flower that smiles today To-morrow will be dying. | ||
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Angelbelow
United States3728 Posts
On January 22 2012 14:10 mordk wrote: This is actually awesome advice thanks... When thinking about this, considering all the experiences I read here, both positive and negative, I can't help but think I should just let go and solve situations as they come by and have lots of fun, particularly after such a long lonely time. I'm just scared to lose my friendship. I don't know if I'm stressing this hard enough. I absolutely LOVE this friendship. Gotta love the hometown advice :D Yes I definitely understand this, I think that whenever I start a relationship it's gonna be a problem. I mean, it's only normal for a girl to be jealous of another girl you had intimacy with, this kind of jealousy I can understand. When I say "crazy jealous bitch" I mean it ahaha, this girl was pathologically jealous. This is one of my biggest doubts about this. I know for certain I can keep it casual, but does her wanting to do this mean she can do the same? Even if she states she doesn't want a relationship I still have my doubts. Girls are the more emotional being. Even if she claims she can now, there's no telling where her emotions are going to take her next. That's really the biggest problem. The more you sleep together the more emotional she'll feel about you. When the time comes, its not reasonable to expect her to be objective =/. Thats the risk you're running. | ||
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StarStruck
25339 Posts
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Gonff
United States686 Posts
Good Luck mordk! Let us know what you decide! Edit: Beautiful. I love this. | ||
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UmbraaeternuS
Chile476 Posts
If you get benefits into a friendship and either you or her can't handle the change that makes, then yes, it fucks the relationship beyond any repairable point. If you agree that you can't get past friendship and both of you are OK with the "spice" added to your friendship (i.e: SEX), then go for it! What's bad about that?! Things get awkward pretty fast when sex is involved between friends. If you're mature enough to understand that it is just sex and you guys don't let that get into your feelings, then everything will be fine. + Show Spoiler + Ahora, si el parcito se tiene ganas más alla de un revolconcillo ocasional... ¡¿Qué chucha esperan pa cambiar el status de Facebook a "en una relación?! ¡Póngale weno no más doctorcito!" Jejeje | ||
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tMomiji
United States1115 Posts
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