i mean there is still the possibility that we both get into a school in the same city. there are a few schools that we applied to that are in the same area. this girl isn't like my previous relationships. when i was pretty much out due to ACL surgery she took care of me, and even took care of me afterwards when i couldn't find a job. she wants me to go with her even if i don't get in anywhere or want to pursue anything further (which again, is a high probability). yeah she'll be making more money than me, but the girl wants to have my kids. wouldn't i be dumb to leave someone that cares for me that much?
i was with a girl who said all this BS and what not and eventually it just didn't work out. but that girl was a shady, lazy, bitch. my current GF though is the most honest, straightforward girl i've met. yes she has some undesirable qualities, but who doesn't? if i proposed to her right now, she'd say yes in a heart beat.
but then there is this issue that i'm hiding. when we first started going out, i said something like "i want to bang so and so". this was to a friend in a private conversation on gchat. it was never more than a retarded way of saying that person is good looking. but of course, she somehow saw that in my gchat. she wasn't spying, its just we shared computers and what not because we were practically living together at the time. i apologized to her, and said it really meant nothing and that it was just guy talk. our relationship went on, but this issue really never came up. she was over it because really there was nothing to worry about. i didn't talk to this person EVER, and i'm never flirtacious with our girls. i'm not even friendly with other girls when i'm in a relationship because i don't want my gf to think i'm interested in anyone else. this issue really never comes up unless we start to play the blame game.
2nd issue. some girl from my lab had a thing for me, and it wasn't a small thing. this girl had explicitly said a few times that she wanted to have sex with me and what not. furthermore, she tried sent me inappropriate texts (no pictures, and nothing like 'come over here and fuck me right now'), but some suggestive stuff and definitely some phone calls at like 3 am. again, my gf and i practically lived together and so when she saw this you can imagine what she was thinking. my gf eventually became aware, but i didn't say anything because there was nothing in it for me, i had no wrong intentions. AND, i was using this girl to help me with my lab work. of course, my gf went off on me for not telling this girl to back off. of course, i did as she asked and the relationship just went on.
we've been happy for as long as we've been together. those two isolated issues i described originally lasted in arguments that didn't even last a day. she says she's had a BF before, but i doubt that she did and even if so it was nothing that lasted over a week or two probably. i just think since i'm her first long term relationship she just doesn't know what to expect.
i don't see why everyone thinks that i'm taking a HUGE loss by sticking with her. even i don't know what i want in my career, so should i make her suffer? if i don't do anything this year and apply again next year and get in somewhere else, she's 100% behind my choice and will support me.
maybe even part of this whole thing is my fault. because, she claims that if i had proposed to her earlier, that there was no way she could have refused. but that puts us back in the dilemma of who is going to sacrifice for the both of us if one of us gets in and the other doesn't. let's say the positions are switched and now i'm a super competitive applicant and she isn't. of course i'd want to cash in on my hard work. who wouldn't?
anyways, its still wayyyy early in the application cycle. she got 2 fast interviews, that's a good thing for her, but there are over 700 interiewees and only 100 seats at most schools. yeah she has fulbright to boost her application, but her MCAT is still in the bottom 10th percentile of all of these schools. most of these schools glut over MCAT. so there is still the probability she won't get in anywhere and i won't get in anywhere and we have to try again.
now there is always the weird chance that she's just massively trolling me. i mean i find it awkward that she already has interview invites despite not being verified. she submitted on oct 15...literally...and AMCAS for the past 3 months says that it takes 6 weeks to get verified? maybe she's testing/trolling cuz she can't trust me and wants to see some reaction? or maybe i'm just tripping...
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The both of you need to talk (in person would be best) about what each other wants in the relationship. This is to look to the future and not focus on the little things that will get in the way in life. The question about the marriage proposal is relatively small if you want to marry her. So you have to ask yourself: do you want to commit to her for probably the rest of your life. If you want to marry her tell her that there is no need to rush unless she wants to get married as soon as possible. She wants to have kids in med school( in a few years) and it sounds like you don't, this is a solvable issue but a large one and needs to be adressed. The problems about who will be the breadwinner will sort things out later because you will never know what the future brings. It sounds like both of you are willing to sacrifice for the greater good in the relationship, which is going to be good in the long run, because if you have kids it is good to have at least one parent figure to raise the children(and in a career in the field of medicine or science they both take up a lot of time from family and personal life).
I have to repeat this, you need a long talk about where your relationship is going in the future because you are both making decisions on what your personal and profesional lives are going to be about, at this point in both your lives.
All the luck. Sorry if any of this is confusing or hard to read I am a bad writer.
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