EPTguess who is talking mad ish? my gf... - Page 2
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froGGifyre
United States213 Posts
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Firesilver
United Kingdom1190 Posts
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yourwhiteshadow
United States442 Posts
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casualman
United States1198 Posts
On November 21 2011 18:23 yourwhiteshadow wrote: on the phone with her right now. she's bitching about how i haven't proposed to her.... Seems like there's not a lot of chemistry between the two of you. | ||
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Ushio
Canada868 Posts
On November 21 2011 18:30 casualman wrote: Seems like there's not a lot of chemistry between the two of you. I dont think your supposed to force people to propose | ||
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Celial
2602 Posts
Break up. Your incoming marriage will be thousandfold worse. | ||
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KeksX
Germany3634 Posts
On November 21 2011 14:46 yourwhiteshadow wrote: so: 1) break it off now 2) wait it out and see how shit unfolds? 3) Take a break and grow up. Both of you. You, as well as her, are treating a relationship like some artificial bullshit. You are talking about moving in together like about getting a sandwich. This isn't something you talk with strangers about, this is something 2 sane people have to discuss, and you are not discussing at all. You are obviously mad at each other and if you want to stop that you have to stop fighting over this bullshit and just talk about it. You will never solve anything if you don't treat each other as equal individuals that both deserve respect. If you then find out that you should break up, FINE, but don't breakup without talking like 2 grown ups. I really don't mean to be offensive here... It's painful to read that how you treat a relationship of YEARS, which was obviously pretty close because otherwise you wouldn't talk about proposing here. . EDIT: People need to stop suggesting a breakup right now. Having a silly kiddy fight is not a reason to break up. It's just silly how you treat other people's relationships. How would you feel if somebody told you that your relationship is shit and you should breakup just because you are having a hard time? Thats just disappointing. | ||
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guN-viCe
United States687 Posts
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Xyik
Canada728 Posts
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
Then again, what do you want? That is a question only you can answer, but even you sometimes can't quite nail down what that is. Marriage isn't some kind of a joke - there is no "you should have proposed" garbage that you should gulp down like it was your fault. | ||
Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
the bigger problem, this girl a couple of weeks ago expected me to propose to her, and i sort of wanted to too... Dude elaborate on that? You proposed or she said she would if you asked her too? If she accepted a proposal then i think your already in way further than you like and maybe it will all be different if you both go through school and end up at the same place in the end, i.e working in the same hospital or something further down the line. But also the negative is, if you don't get into the same schools and don't get the same hospital or near eachother after your education then your relationship is truely over then? No way can you do a medical job and have to travel large distances. Seems like you both love eachother though, even though it can be a bit of a pain at times with the petty arguments (thats what it comes across to me as) but every relationship is a sacrafice my friend, look back on your ex you mention about travelling and 1hour and 30minutes to see, thats a sacrafice right there. If you really do love her and like her you can make this work, however if you really think that she is not the girl for you end it before it becomes hard and very very emotional. GL & HF | ||
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Hynda
Sweden2226 Posts
After that in a mature manner confront her about how you're not okey with her treating in X way. Then get the fuck over yourself. | ||
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zeru
8156 Posts
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yourwhiteshadow
United States442 Posts
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10347 Posts
On November 22 2011 12:45 yourwhiteshadow wrote: i caved in, and decided that for me research is a compromise i'm willing to make and i could probably easily get into a PhD program at one of the schools she's applying to. and well she agreed that she's willing to make compromises to be with me after she graduates. Eeeeee... IOUs. | ||
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quiong
United States268 Posts
On November 22 2011 12:45 yourwhiteshadow wrote: i caved in, and decided that for me research is a compromise i'm willing to make and i could probably easily get into a PhD program at one of the schools she's applying to. and well she agreed that she's willing to make compromises to be with me after she graduates. This has potential to turn into a huge mistake. Traditionally, earning potential of PhDs has always been lower than that of MDs. The whole career goal of a PhD (in biological sciences at least, differs in other fields), if you remain in academia, is to eventually write and receive your own grants, run a lab and become a PI. This is increasingly difficult because the current federal funding climate is the worst that it's ever been. Many well-established PIs are having enough trouble simply getting existing grants renewed; it is much more difficult these days for new people to receive grants. I knew plenty of "super-postdocs" who spent years getting a PhD in a biological science, did a post-doc, never got their own grants, therefore never got promoted to faculty and continue to toil away under someone else. I can't speak much about the value of a PhD in the private sector, but it does depend on the type of company you are looking at. I know that certain consulting companies hire PhDs for the same entry level positions as undergrads, obviously that's not always the case but in those cases at least its a waste of time and degree. In this shit economy, MD continues to be a prestigious, high reward and safe career choice with a huge amount of flexibility. Your gf sounds like a typical gunner asian girl. I hate those types but whatever. She already thinks you're not good enough to match her academically. As mentioned this is a big social stigma in asian cultures. In medical school she's going to meet some other very intelligent asian guy who is better than her academically (they are a dime a dozen at US med schools). She'll dump you at this point and you'll have sacrificed your MD career for nothing. | ||
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yourwhiteshadow
United States442 Posts
On November 22 2011 13:22 quiong wrote: This has potential to turn into a huge mistake. Traditionally, earning potential of PhDs has always been lower than that of MDs. The whole career goal of a PhD (in biological sciences at least, differs in other fields), if you remain in academia, is to eventually write and receive your own grants, run a lab and become a PI. This is increasingly difficult because the current federal funding climate is the worst that it's ever been. Many well-established PIs are having enough trouble simply getting existing grants renewed; it is much more difficult these days for new people to receive grants. I knew plenty of "super-postdocs" who spent years getting a PhD in a biological science, did a post-doc, never got their own grants, therefore never got promoted to faculty and continue to toil away under someone else. I can't speak much about the value of a PhD in the private sector, but it does depend on the type of company you are looking at. I know that certain consulting companies hire PhDs for the same entry level positions as undergrads, obviously that's not always the case but in those cases at least its a waste of time and degree. In this shit economy, MD continues to be a prestigious, high reward and safe career choice with a huge amount of flexibility. Your gf sounds like a typical gunner asian girl. I hate those types but whatever. She already thinks you're not good enough to match her academically. As mentioned this is a big social stigma in asian cultures. In medical school she's going to meet some other very intelligent asian guy who is better than her academically (they are a dime a dozen at US med schools). She'll dump you at this point and you'll have sacrificed your MD career for nothing. if we're married and she's an MD don't i win? divorce = 50/50 split in most states. i mean all things aside, i'm not looking at it from that perspective. she's the one who wants me to propose, she wants me and i know her well enough to where she's not going to ever cheat on me because she expects me to never cheat on her. she's madly in love and wants to have kids while in med school (perhaps even first or second year). i'd say that's a pretty deep commitment. i know she sounds crazy, but some of that craziness is what makes her amazing. if she at least has an MD then we're financially secure. so that's really not a worry for me. | ||
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lFrost
United States295 Posts
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Zidane
United States1692 Posts
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ZeaL.
United States5955 Posts
On November 22 2011 12:45 yourwhiteshadow wrote: i caved in, and decided that for me research is a compromise i'm willing to make and i could probably easily get into a PhD program at one of the schools she's applying to. and well she agreed that she's willing to make compromises to be with me after she graduates. IMO MD PhD is kinda stupid anyways. I know many MD's who do research and as an MD you get access to all the stuff an MD PhD does, might not have the same prestige but its 4 more forced years in school when you're probably not too young anymore. If you get out of med school and you still really want to do research a fellowship would suffice. As for your relationship I dunno lol. Tbh, it sounds like you want different things and its causing friction. If she can't sit down and talk to you about what she wants in life, what you want in life, and what you want in each other and where compromises need to be made she's not mature enough to be demanding a proposal. Edit: If you get a PhD then you should know that you'll be limited in what you can do as far as clinical testing. If your research is primarily focused on human trials I wouldn't advise getting a PhD as its much much more difficult to work with humans without an MD Edit2: FWIW, I'm getting a PhD and my gf is getting an MD (we're both asian too). Its fairly obvious my gf will be the breadwinner but neither of us really care, we enjoy each other and simply expect each other to work hard. I might do more chores and housework but that's because I usually have more time and don't mind, and she doesn't view me as inferior for not having the same earning potential. As long as both of you are okay with that its ezpz. | ||
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