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Hello TL,
This is kinda just a depressed rant about how hurtful facebook can easily be. So today I get onto facebook and I see 100+ pictures posted with some of my closest or what I thought to be my closest friends. Apparently they spent an entire day walking around LA and doing all this fun stuff. Where was I during all this? On my ass playing starcraft because nobody told me that this was even happening. Worst part was I knew something had happened over the weekend. Today I am talking to my friends both of them went to this event and something slips about the even and I ask what they did and they act like they didnt even hear me until I repeated myself for like the tenth time.
Even worse is that they said we just went out to some restaurant they didnt even try to mention that they just didnt invite me to this thing at all. I am only in high school and some might sya maybe their parents iddnt have enough room or something. But they can all DRIVE.
To make matters even worse this isnt the first time something like this has happened and I thought I fixed it and that I got into their heads and made them believe that I would much rather go with them than play starcraft2 all day. I made that point clear so many times and I thought this whole nightmere was over. EVerytime I even try to ask someone about it they get silent, ignore me, or just change the subject.
Now I would be fine if these were like just casual friends but all of these people I have know since before middle school. Every single one of those people went and not one person tried to stick up for me and be like oh why not invite him.
I am probably making a stupid argument that will be posted by someone later but I just needed to vent this out to someone because I obviously cant vent it out to the people who went and are suppose to be some of my closest friends.
Thanks for listening to my rant TL <3
TL DR: That awkward moment when you log on and see all these pictures of your friends that didnt invite you to something
 
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They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities.
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On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities.
I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something
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On November 15 2011 16:27 Dice17 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities. I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something
you're implying that you're hurt by them not taking you with them. and you said that they spent "an entire day" walking around LA. That doesn't really qualify as "anytime" they do anything. You said they've done this before, but how often? Honestly you're being childish. If you want to hang out with them, take the initiative and set up some time to hang out and invite them, rather than beg for them to invite you
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On November 15 2011 16:30 johnnywup wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:27 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities. I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something you're implying that you're hurt by them not taking you with them. and you said that they spent "an entire day" walking around LA. That doesn't really qualify as "anytime" they do anything. You said they've done this before, but how often? Honestly you're being childish. If you want to hang out with them, take the initiative and set up some time to hang out and invite them, rather than beg for them to invite you
If you read more you will realize I explain this wasnt a one time thing and that they dodged me asking questions... read more please before you comment
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On November 15 2011 16:34 Dice17 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:30 johnnywup wrote:On November 15 2011 16:27 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities. I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something you're implying that you're hurt by them not taking you with them. and you said that they spent "an entire day" walking around LA. That doesn't really qualify as "anytime" they do anything. You said they've done this before, but how often? Honestly you're being childish. If you want to hang out with them, take the initiative and set up some time to hang out and invite them, rather than beg for them to invite you If you read more you will realize I explain this wasnt a one time thing and that they dodged me asking questions... read more please before you comment
no you read more, i said "You said they've done this before, but how often?". Read more please before you comment >_>
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On November 15 2011 16:35 johnnywup wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:34 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:30 johnnywup wrote:On November 15 2011 16:27 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities. I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something you're implying that you're hurt by them not taking you with them. and you said that they spent "an entire day" walking around LA. That doesn't really qualify as "anytime" they do anything. You said they've done this before, but how often? Honestly you're being childish. If you want to hang out with them, take the initiative and set up some time to hang out and invite them, rather than beg for them to invite you If you read more you will realize I explain this wasnt a one time thing and that they dodged me asking questions... read more please before you comment no you read more, i said "You said they've done this before, but how often?". Read more please before you comment >_>
More then I can remember thats how often... each time they avoid the subject of why
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"There is one person in every group of friends that nobody f%#king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts... There's always that one person. I'm looking out and some of you are like "I disagree"....... well you're that person... you're that person nobody f@#king likes."
-Dane Cook.
In all honesty though if you want people to hang with you, don't come across desperate / beg them to hang out with you. Next time take some initiative and organise something yourself... or better yet go and do something with a different group of friends and "forget" to invite the others with you.
Trust me, I've been in similar situations, more then once, and I've found the best thing to do is go and find a new group of friends, ones that actually care about you.
But yeah... high school is horrible.
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On November 15 2011 16:42 ArcticMuse wrote:
"There is one person in every group of friends that nobody f%#king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts... There's always that one person. I'm looking out and some of you are like "I disagree"....... well you're that person... you're that person nobody f@#king likes."
-Dane Cook.
In all honesty though if you want people to hang with you, don't come across desperate / beg them to hang out with you. Next time take some initiative and organise something yourself... or better yet go and do something with a different group of friends and "forget" to invite the others with you.
Trust me, I've been in similar situations, more then once, and I've found the best thing to do is go and find a new group of friends, ones that actually care about you.
But yeah... high school is horrible.
Thanks for the lulz and the good advice. I think im going to try doing that for sure just kinda sucks when what appears to be some of the closest friends in your life can turn so easily
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On November 15 2011 16:48 Dice17 wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:42 ArcticMuse wrote:
"There is one person in every group of friends that nobody f%#king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts... There's always that one person. I'm looking out and some of you are like "I disagree"....... well you're that person... you're that person nobody f@#king likes."
-Dane Cook.
In all honesty though if you want people to hang with you, don't come across desperate / beg them to hang out with you. Next time take some initiative and organise something yourself... or better yet go and do something with a different group of friends and "forget" to invite the others with you.
Trust me, I've been in similar situations, more then once, and I've found the best thing to do is go and find a new group of friends, ones that actually care about you.
But yeah... high school is horrible. Thanks for the lulz and the good advice. I think im going to try doing that for sure just kinda sucks when what appears to be some of the closest friends in your life can turn so easily
You will learn this as you get older, but most of the people you call "friends" are not truely a friend. Even less so friends from School.
I had a massive group of friends at school, 12 years later I am friends with none of them. Some of them are still in contact with each other but its rare, when we see each other in the street or at a pub/club we chat and have a drink but thats it. I had another massive group of friends in my early 20's and now I only speak with 2 of them.
I can count my true friends on one hand, not because I'm socially arkward but because thats the truth of it. A true friend will drop whatever they are doing and drive clean across the country when you are in need, and of the many many "friends" i've had over the years I can name only 4 who would do that for me, and I for them. Thats the kind of friends you should be looking for, its better to have only 1 true friend in the world than to have 100 friends who don't really care about you.
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[QUOTE]On November 15 2011 17:04 emythrel wrote:
[QUOTE]On November 15 2011 16:48 Dice17 wrote:
[QUOTE]On November 15 2011 16:42 ArcticMuse wrote:
"There is one person in every group of friends that nobody f%#king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts... There's always that one person. I'm looking out and some of you are like "I disagree"....... well you're that person... you're that person nobody f@#king likes."
-Dane Cook.
In all honesty though if you want people to hang with you, don't come across desperate / beg them to hang out with you. Next time take some initiative and organise something yourself... or better yet go and do something with a different group of friends and "forget" to invite the others with you.
Trust me, I've been in similar situations, more then once, and I've found the best thing to do is go and find a new group of friends, ones that actually care about you.
But yeah... high school is horrible.[/QUOTE]
Thats the kind of friends you should be looking for, its better to have only 1 true friend in the world than to have 100 friends who don't really care about you.[/QUOTE]
This. It's also better to have one true friend than 1.000 facebook friends.
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I'm gonna go ahead and say that maybe your "friends" simply don't like you.
Could be that they are just bad friends and bad people, but maybe you're an annoying or unfriendly person and that's why they constantly exclude you. To be honest, making a rage blog like this on TL does not demonstrate the character traits that people generally admire.
Maybe you should go and ask your friends what they really think about you. Might be surprised at what you find out, and could help you if you do decide to switch friend groups.
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On November 15 2011 16:30 johnnywup wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:27 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:22 johnnywup wrote:
They aren't obligated to bring you everywhere with them. Let people have fun, you don't always have to be involved...there will always be other opportunities. I didnt say they were I am saying they barely think to invite me anytime they do anything unless theres like thousands of people going or something you're implying that you're hurt by them not taking you with them. and you said that they spent "an entire day" walking around LA. That doesn't really qualify as "anytime" they do anything. You said they've done this before, but how often? Honestly you're being childish. If you want to hang out with them, take the initiative and set up some time to hang out and invite them, rather than beg for them to invite you
THIS^^^ no one likes the guy that does his own thing until everyone else comes up with something fun to do and then decides he want to be friends. + Show Spoiler +I inferred from your OP that you play a lot of SC2 instead of hanging out with your friends on a normal basis? And you've told your friends "if you have something to do, I'll hang out"? You need to realize that this comes across as "I don't want to hang out (be friends) unless you guys have something to do that's better than SC2"?
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Would be cool if you could have all of your friends write their version of the story.
I'll wait with my propper response till then.
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On November 15 2011 17:32 Loanshark wrote:
Maybe you should go and ask your friends what they really think about you. Might be surprised at what you find out, and could help you if you do decide to switch friend groups.
Yea, go straight to them and talk about it and then you're smartert. If they are really your friends, they will listen. If not, they are probably not really your friends.
There are people I know since the age of 2 but I hate them because they are fucking idiots, don't call people your closest friends just because you know them for so long!
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shit sucks, u need to learn to be independent and not rely on others like this . i would join a club like martial arts and start meeting people there, you need to expand yourself so you're not relying on just 1 or 2 things because when those 1 or 2 things fail you then you have nothing
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So one of my friends I've known since we were like 7 (I'm 23 now) and some of my other friends I've known since we were like 11 or 12 usually hang out and do stuff together... well one day me, and 2 of my friends (that i've known since 11) were at a fast food place waiting for another friend to get back home when we got a call from this girl that one of my friends really liked, she was going away for a while (joined the Navy, going to basic) and she was freaking out the whole week before and she had a going away party but we weren't invited (her mom didn't like my friend or something) so she was like "You guys should come down and hang out with us" so we were just like "Ok!" So we just took off to head down there, they live about an hour and a half away, through some mountains. When we got to the other side of the mountain we received a few text messages from my other friend we were originally waiting on and he was like "What's up? what's the plan for tonight" and the 3 of us looked at each other and were just like "oh shi... we completely forgot about him" We were in such a hurry to get down there (cuz the girls said meet us there at X time... they were late btw) that we completely forgot about him... it went on to be one of the most epic nights we've ever had... and he wasn't there... but it wasn't on purpose or anything...
So the moral of the story is... maybe they didn't do it on purpose? They just forgot about you because YOU don't ask THEM what is going on?
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I don't even think this is childish of you, because if they treat you like this (it sounds like you guys are pretty good friends, closest friends from middle school and all, they shouldn't be leaving you out like that.) there might be something that's keeping them away.
imo, confront them about it. The best thing to do here is to find out the truth, and hopefully they'll give you that.
If there's nothing wrong, okay. I'd say if they said that, I would find it suspicious. The whole going silent, ignoring, and / or changing subject thing does hint to me that they are purposely leaving you out. If there's really something wrong, and they don't like you anymore or something, just move on. You can't change them, or their opinion about you. You shouldn't have to change to impress them, and to stay friends with them.
Join a club, find a new group of friends, do things you normally don't, get to know people. Find people who actually appreciate you.
If they're doing things like this to you I wouldn't consider them real close friends anyway, and this wasn't even just a one-time thing.
Leaving one person out of a group thing hurts that one person, and also does crazy shit to their confidence. :/
my tl;dr? don't worry too much over it. just confront them, find out what's wrong and move on.
edit: @aike~
to clarify, what I gathered from the OP's post was that this wasn't a one-time thing, it's happened before, and he's already made it clear to them that he would like to hang out with them, and he prefers it over the video games he uses to kill his time and boredom otherwise.
that's what makes me think what his friends are doing is pretty horrible. :/
he's had to pretty much tell them that he wants to spend time with them, even though it should be a pretty close to, if not given since they're all such close friends, and it's like they just conveniently forget about him.
rude. ._.
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If they didn't invite you there is beacuse : 1) they aren't real friends and they don't give a fuck about you.
2) they don't find you enough friendly.
So if you want to be invited you have to be more fun with them, maybe try to be a cool dude. or start new relationships.
Or start not giving a fuck about them. If there's a thing I've learnt is that if you're not getting invited is usally your fault 
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this stuff happens all the time. you're only in high school, expect to experience more of it as you get older
the best way to deal with this is to be more self-centered. think of it as you don't want to hang out with them, not they don't want to hang out with you. by being hurt by their actions, you're showing that their friendship means more to you than yours to them. once you change your mindset and build up more confidence, you'll get over being left out in no time
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On November 15 2011 20:22 tiffany wrote:
this stuff happens all the time. you're only in high school, expect to experience more of it as you get older
the best way to deal with this is to be more self-centered. think of it as you don't want to hang out with them, not they don't want to hang out with you. by being hurt by their actions, you're showing that their friendship means more to you than yours to them. once you change your mindset and build up more confidence, you'll get over being left out in no time
Sounds like a great way to make sure that nobody will ever want to hang out with you.
Sure, he won't feel bad about getting left out but then he won't have a friend circle of any kind to get left out of anyway.
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I know this exact feeling.
It's still going on actually. I'm torn as to whether it's an insecurity of mine or bad choice of friends.
After going through several friends and circles/communities, it's still a miserable mystery in my life.
Can't stand it.
I have no solution, sorry.
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You don't need *friends* to justify your existence. Starcraft alone is enough 
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I suffered from this in high school but ever since i went to uni and met a new bunch of friends it hasn't happened, ever. I don't even talk to many of my high school buddies (except my best friend) unless i stumble across them at some random event/on the street. It all depends on the group and frankly if they aren't inviting you out on a regular basis, perhaps its time to find a new group. You should take the initiative at times and organise stuff as well.
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My "friends" are always back stabbing me and making me feel bad, one day I just woke up and gave them a finger and now they are a lot nicer to me
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Instead you got to play starcraft all day....
Day well spent.
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If you want to do things, talk with them throughout the day. If I never talk to my friends, we don't do anything together. If they don't talk to us, we don't do anything together. I mean this is literally our text conversations we have with each other all the time... "Lunch?" "k" and "movie?" "nah too broke" and "guitar center run?" "sure"
So if you want to do something with your friends, send them a message asking if they want to do something 
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If you want to go out instead of playing Starcraft 2...just go out. Call some other friends or even go alone if really nobody wants to tag along.
But you were playing Starcraft 2 whilst you really wanted to be out and about with your friends. But is that really true? Because if you really wanted to go out with your friends why didn't you call them?
If i have to call a guy every single god damn time i wanna hang out then i feel like i am dragging that person along. A person that enjoys hanging out with me shouldn't have to be dragged along.
That said i have maybe 4 friends that i would call real friends and with noone of them trivial stuff like this would keep any of us up.
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On November 15 2011 17:04 emythrel wrote:Show nested quote +On November 15 2011 16:48 Dice17 wrote:On November 15 2011 16:42 ArcticMuse wrote:
"There is one person in every group of friends that nobody f%#king likes. You basically keep them there to hate their guts... There's always that one person. I'm looking out and some of you are like "I disagree"....... well you're that person... you're that person nobody f@#king likes."
-Dane Cook.
In all honesty though if you want people to hang with you, don't come across desperate / beg them to hang out with you. Next time take some initiative and organise something yourself... or better yet go and do something with a different group of friends and "forget" to invite the others with you.
Trust me, I've been in similar situations, more then once, and I've found the best thing to do is go and find a new group of friends, ones that actually care about you.
But yeah... high school is horrible. Thanks for the lulz and the good advice. I think im going to try doing that for sure just kinda sucks when what appears to be some of the closest friends in your life can turn so easily You will learn this as you get older, but most of the people you call "friends" are not truely a friend. Even less so friends from School. I had a massive group of friends at school, 12 years later I am friends with none of them. Some of them are still in contact with each other but its rare, when we see each other in the street or at a pub/club we chat and have a drink but thats it. I had another massive group of friends in my early 20's and now I only speak with 2 of them. I can count my true friends on one hand, not because I'm socially arkward but because thats the truth of it. A true friend will drop whatever they are doing and drive clean across the country when you are in need, and of the many many "friends" i've had over the years I can name only 4 who would do that for me, and I for them. Thats the kind of friends you should be looking for, its better to have only 1 true friend in the world than to have 100 friends who don't really care about you.
Couldn't agree more with what's said here. I used to think it was so important to know and have as many friends as possible, but as you grow older you realize that from all of those people you know from way back, they'll probably move on with their lives and forget you and most, if not all of the others they used to hang out with. As the quoted person said, it's better to have one true friend than any number of surface acquaintances, as I like to call them.
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take some leadership and start organizing some get togethers. it will give you alot of good experience and friends really appreciate someone who does that(and INVITES them. see what i did there?).
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Always make them call you never call them.
If they dont ever call you fuck em, find new friends
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
Perhaps its time to find some new friends.
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Happened to me all my life, my personality is one that is easily hated by most people
No problem, just learn to scorn people in general, make a shitload of money and bathe in your success and hard work.
Then go do stuff like read books and climb rocks
But really, find a couple of friends who you can trust, if you don't have any, thats unlucky but i've been there a million times
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Wiee and the blog degraded within 10 posts from rant to "NO U MAN".
Ontopic: Either confront them about it or think hard. Do you really want friends that ignore you when you ask them simple questions?
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Meh, maybe I don't have real friends but I don't always get invited to everything, sometimes people invite people they specifically want to do something they both specifically like or want to talk about. Idk, but I don't freak out of that kind of stuff.
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1) Go to a Barcraft
2) Take a million photos
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High school is a lot of BS really imo.
during my high school, i can safely say that i had 1-2 friends, however, even now i don't really talk to those 1-2 friends i made in high school because we go to different colleges and study different subjects, most other people i don't really know we just talk when we see each other. I had no female friends at high school neither.
During college, my first year i faced the same situation as you. I think it was because i always felt like my ego was at stake wheather or not i got invited to events or not. As a result, i was that awkward guy that people knew but didn't really wanna hang out with...
Currently as a second year, i can say that i have 2 good friends now in college and we constantly talk in class, and after class. I also made a lot more female friends in college as well after i let go of my ego.
TL:DR: my story was similar as yours in high school and 1st year of college, but it got better after i let go of my ego about whether or not i got invited or not. Have the mindset of "you don't need anyone but yourself", and then awesome people will flow to you.
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My most awkward moment on facebook was when I posted a "Like my status and I'll post something about you" post, and no one liked it or responded... I'm pretty sure a lot of people saw it, too, so it was super embaressing to me. I was so tramatized by it that I haven't posted anything on my wall on facebook since, and that was like a year ago.
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When I was in college I went through a similar situation with the group of friends I'd grown up with for my whole life. Except I wasn't playing any computer games. These friends kept going out and doing what typical college kids do, and they just kept forgetting to invite me. After having gone through this "oh we had to leave real fast, no time to call you. sorry man," for an entire year I cut off all contact with them. It completely sucked. These were the guys I became friends with in the 5th grade. But I was tired of feeling like I had to invite myself to hang out with my own group of friends. I figured if they valued me as a friend they would contact me. 1 month, 2 months, 5 months, ultimately 1 year went by before i heard from one of them again. During this time I made some new friends. Some friends that were really into the things that I was interested in. These new friends I was really able to connect with and I formed a few relationships that I can honestly say are life long friendships. Currently I'm still in contact with my first group of friends. We're all still pretty close though nothing like we were in high school. But that's life, you grow up and sometimes you grow apart. So "don't be afraid go get out there and experiment with a few more friends."
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EPT
