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On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age.
Half your age + 7 is the rule I heard for acceptable dating ages...
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as an exercise take a moment to gain a different perspective. The goal of the exercise is to consider that at different ages, and hanging out with different age groups, one's life has different priorities.
saying this, I am not judging, but pointing out the fact that for example, work may be a priority for you but job/career may have absolutely no bearing in "annie's" life. I'm sure there are many other observable comparisons from inane (TV shows and demographics based on interest) to more serious (status of getting a new car/new license).
Next, from these observations step back and realize that at 15 you were seeking different life experiences than you are now. Since TOCHMY at 15 there has been much learning thus TOCHYMY at 20 is not exactly the same OP. I think I'm trying to say that if nothing else you have to be patient when a younger person is not on your wavelength, or even someone at your same age cannot see things how you see them. If it helps, do my exercise by comparing your current self to a 15 year old cousin, or a young kid you see in the supermarket. Can't you imagine them in vastly different life circumstances? Does that mean that two such different people should necessarily always agree on how to live or interact with each other?
To give a wild answer to your last questions: logic doesn't always work, and personal experience doesn't work except maybe to temper your reactions to feeling icky. A relationship is what it is, there is no "coasting on good, sometimes hitting bad spots or potentially becoming ruined." Friends, family, girlfriend. They are all just how they are, you choose how you interact and react to them.
btw since you've read this far in my post, imho some of the above advices may be useful to you, just don't take some of them to be mean-spirited and outright ignore them. Consider them as different points of view (even if you feel insulted a lil lol)
phew, glhfhfhfhf!!!
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On September 17 2011 08:29 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age. you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point.
Statutory rape, not "real rape". If you had sex, or even if she just SAID you did to someone, you could end up in jail. She's jail bait. Get the hell out, it's not worth the risk.
Not even going to get into how crazy/ignorant/unstable 15 year old girls are. Date someone done highschool at least.
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On September 17 2011 08:54 DoubleZee wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 08:29 TOCHMY wrote:On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age. you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point. Statutory rape, not "real rape". If you had sex, or even if she just SAID you did to someone, you could end up in jail. She's jail bait. Get the hell out, it's not worth the risk. Not even going to get into how crazy/ignorant/unstable 15 year old girls are. Date someone done highschool at least.
Age of consent is 15 in sweden.
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15 years old dude, get over it
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On September 17 2011 09:00 Earll wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 08:54 DoubleZee wrote:On September 17 2011 08:29 TOCHMY wrote:On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age. you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point. Statutory rape, not "real rape". If you had sex, or even if she just SAID you did to someone, you could end up in jail. She's jail bait. Get the hell out, it's not worth the risk. Not even going to get into how crazy/ignorant/unstable 15 year old girls are. Date someone done highschool at least. Age of consent is 15 in sweden.
Oh...those crazy swedes...my 2nd piece of advice still stands.
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On September 17 2011 09:00 Earll wrote:+ Show Spoiler +On September 17 2011 08:54 DoubleZee wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 08:29 TOCHMY wrote:On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age. you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point. Statutory rape, not "real rape". If you had sex, or even if she just SAID you did to someone, you could end up in jail. She's jail bait. Get the hell out, it's not worth the risk. Not even going to get into how crazy/ignorant/unstable 15 year old girls are. Date someone done highschool at least. Age of consent is 15 in sweden.
Was planning on posting about age difference, looks like it doesn't matter, gl hf!
Seriously though, there has been some really good advice in the comments, I'd take some of it and apply it the best you can. From what I was reading some of your issue may also stem from not completely trusting her. If I'm mistaken I apologize, but it's certainly not out of the ordinary to feel distrust at times, especially when you know she's young in school with other dudes all the time, etc. One thing to keep in mind is that YOU'RE that older dude the guys at school can't get your girl to forget about. Most relationships I've noticed with two people as young as yourselves end up with the older person breaking up with the younger one. If you're clingy, that rule goes right out the window, so as long as you give him her space and try to be mindful of when you may be going too far, I think you'll be fine.
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You sound pretty masochistic to me o.o
You just gotta learn to stop being clingy; apparently you know what you gotta do. Now just... do it.
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Just a bit of advice, remember she is still only 15 years old, and also she is still going through those normal changes a teenager goes through.
She could feel/be completely different in a year, or even tomorrow - you never know. Just always be aware of that fact bud.
Also, being clingy is a bad thing. I know how you feel though because I sometimes do it myself, but, do try to avoid that the best you can.
And not to be mean or anything, but if in fact this doesn't work out eventually, which honestly it probably wont. Date someone closer to your age because dating anyone that young will only cause you problems since they're still young and going through changes like I previously stated.
Above all, don't get too attached this early or you'll just hurt yourself in the long run. Take it slow and steady man and try to be understanding to a girl of that age and things should be alright.
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You gotta hit it and quit it
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You seem to exhibit some OCD type behavior. give her some space. she's still in school after all and has other activities and friends to worry about (teenage stuff). you seem to expect a level of maturity/commitment not found in most 15 year olds. i would find someone closer to your age and who you can see on a regular basis if i were you.
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On September 17 2011 09:00 Earll wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 08:54 DoubleZee wrote:On September 17 2011 08:29 TOCHMY wrote:On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age. you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point. Statutory rape, not "real rape". If you had sex, or even if she just SAID you did to someone, you could end up in jail. She's jail bait. Get the hell out, it's not worth the risk. Not even going to get into how crazy/ignorant/unstable 15 year old girls are. Date someone done highschool at least. Age of consent is 15 in sweden.
I've been waiting for the US to embrace this kind of common sense for a long time...
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Everyone is talking about how she is immature and stuffs. I think it's pretty irrelevant.
While the relationship is having it's problems, I think you should focus more on the title of your blog-- what's wrong with you. Ultimately you can only change yourself, and regardless of how this relationship turns out, fixing yourself will be a long term permanent fix, rather than a bandaid on something that may not last.
Why do you have so much insecurity? Either you are creating problems that don't exist out of your insecurity, or you are so insecure that you got into and are staying in a relationship that is not good. If you address your insecurity the problems will go away in one form or another, and hopefully prevent the same thing in any future relationships.
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On September 17 2011 07:36 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2011 07:31 munchmunch wrote:
There's nothing wrong with you. It's natural to be insecure in a relationship, especially when you are not getting the face-time that you need. From the sounds of it, it's not her fault either. Human relationships don't magically work, you need to make them work. I suggest:
(a) Make plans that sound fun, not a last resort. Don't say, let's hangout, say, let's watch a movie, or go someplace, etc.
(b) Give her some slack for being 15; she's really young and should be allowed to make a lot of mistakes.
(c) Give yourself some slack for being 20; you might not realize it, but you're still really young. You probably have a lot of stuff to learn, and lots of chances at romance ahead of you. The odds are that this relationship won't last your whole life, and that's a good thing. Enjoy what you have, and try to be less insecure. Don't worry about not being perfect. thank you
Yes. The truth is, everything is going to be okay. Just keep telling that to your self as you continue to pursue her. And pursue her.
The perspectives that munchmunch provided aren't just pieces of knowledge, rather, they are wisdom; a way of thinking that can become part of who you are.
I can be hard, but remember these things. Remember. Work at them.
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so hows that young meat? just wondering since i would never muster enough courage to even hit on preteens
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Thank you, everyone, for the great awesome thoughts and tips. I definetely feel like I know what to do now and I have something to work with. I was totally clueless when I made this post.
Thank!  <3
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EPT
