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Active: 1222 users

What's wrong with me?

Blogs > TOCHMY
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1 2 Next All
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-02-13 17:27:01
September 16 2011 22:18 GMT
#1
EDIT:

**
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
Endymion
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States3701 Posts
September 16 2011 22:21 GMT
#2
her forgetting you (or not wanting to see you, which ever it truly was) isn't her fault, it's yours. Therefore, it's your problem not hers. She got pissed because you pushed it onto her, and now she's probably even more sick of you than she was in the beginning. Asking a girl out isn't asking for handouts, it's having her like you just as much as you like her.
Have you considered the MMO-Champion forum? You are just as irrational and delusional with the right portion of nostalgic populism. By the way: The old Brood War was absolutely unplayable
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
September 16 2011 22:23 GMT
#3
I know all that, but I keep pushing away that fact in the heat of moment. If you read closer, I know it is my problem, and I want to fix it, hence the blogpost.
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
jdseemoreglass
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States3773 Posts
September 16 2011 22:24 GMT
#4
You are doing this because you are insecure and fearful of abandonment, perhaps stemming from a childhood neurosis.

The solution is either constant conscious effort to prevent harmful behavior, or perhaps finding a partner who is just as clingy as you, and hope that you two don't eventually kill each other from mutually overreacting in an argument.
"If you want this forum to be full of half-baked philosophy discussions between pompous faggots like yourself forever, stay the course captain vanilla" - FakeSteve[TPR], 2006
Masamune
Profile Joined January 2007
Canada3401 Posts
September 16 2011 22:30 GMT
#5
Who knew that the 16 year old girl dating the 20 year old guy wouldn't be the clingy one in the relationship?

Stop being so clingy.
munchmunch
Profile Joined October 2010
Canada789 Posts
September 16 2011 22:31 GMT
#6
There's nothing wrong with you. It's natural to be insecure in a relationship, especially when you are not getting the face-time that you need. From the sounds of it, it's not her fault either. Human relationships don't magically work, you need to make them work. I suggest:

(a) Make plans that sound fun, not a last resort. Don't say, let's hangout, say, let's watch a movie, or go someplace, etc.

(b) Give her some slack for being 15; she's really young and should be allowed to make a lot of mistakes.

(c) Give yourself some slack for being 20; you might not realize it, but you're still really young. You probably have a lot of stuff to learn, and lots of chances at romance ahead of you. The odds are that this relationship won't last your whole life, and that's a good thing. Enjoy what you have, and try to be less insecure. Don't worry about not being perfect.
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
September 16 2011 22:36 GMT
#7
On September 17 2011 07:31 munchmunch wrote:
There's nothing wrong with you. It's natural to be insecure in a relationship, especially when you are not getting the face-time that you need. From the sounds of it, it's not her fault either. Human relationships don't magically work, you need to make them work. I suggest:

(a) Make plans that sound fun, not a last resort. Don't say, let's hangout, say, let's watch a movie, or go someplace, etc.

(b) Give her some slack for being 15; she's really young and should be allowed to make a lot of mistakes.

(c) Give yourself some slack for being 20; you might not realize it, but you're still really young. You probably have a lot of stuff to learn, and lots of chances at romance ahead of you. The odds are that this relationship won't last your whole life, and that's a good thing. Enjoy what you have, and try to be less insecure. Don't worry about not being perfect.



thank you
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
GigaFlop
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1146 Posts
September 16 2011 22:53 GMT
#8
15-year-old girls aren't the most mentally stable...
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ "Shift-Q oftentimes makes a capital Q" - Day[9] || iNcontrol - Alligator from heaven = ^
Maand
Profile Joined April 2010
326 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-16 23:00:16
September 16 2011 22:56 GMT
#9
Be honest with yourself and her. Most importantly about emotions, how you react to her. Just be informative.

Talk things over. Know what's on her side and make sure she knows what's on yours.

Probably two most important things I've learned past fire years from two failed(sort of) relationships.

And what munchmunch said in c) !

Edit: You probably know that but I'm gonna write it anyway. Conflicts in relationships are not a bad thing. It means your relationship is strong and alive. The seemingly more violent conflict, the more vivid and pure emotions are involved and even if they are bad, if you resolve the conflict they recoil in good emotions
Earll
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Norway847 Posts
September 16 2011 22:59 GMT
#10
If I had to guesstimate I would say you probably have not had a huge amount of relationships (with girls you liked) Before this? What is (probably) 'wrong' with you is lack of experience, and you feel like you have 'finally' found someone, and if this does not pan out then you feel like you might go a long while till you find someone equal or whatever.

The only cure I can say will most certainly work against something like this is getting more experience\more relationships\more girls or whatever, that can go a long way to getting rid of neediness. But that is a more long term solution i guess. If you can't pull yourself together I predict a not so good end for you in the not too distant future though, it seems like you are way over invested in this compared to her, and stuff like this can go into an evil spiral of doom real fast. =p

If you want this to last then you are just going to have to stop being needy. If you ever think sometihng MIGHT come across as needy, even if you have somehow convinced yourself that it is not out of needyness that you want to do\say it, don't.
Wat
Maand
Profile Joined April 2010
326 Posts
September 16 2011 23:04 GMT
#11
Ah before I go too sleep. Here's a funny quote from wiki about Albert Ellis.

Ellis had exaggerated fears of speaking in public and during his adolescence he was extremely shy around women. At age 19, already showing signs of thinking like a cognitive-behavioral therapist, he forced himself to talk to 100 women in the Bronx Botanical Gardens over a period of a month. Even though he did not get a date, he reported that he desensitized himself to his fear of rejection by women.


You can quite literarily train such things
VarmVaffel
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Norway378 Posts
September 16 2011 23:10 GMT
#12
On September 17 2011 07:53 GigaFlop wrote:
15-year-old girls aren't the most mentally stable...

Pretty much.

I'm not generally too fond of generalizing people like this, but there's a good point to be made here. Even though they can seem like they are mature, they aren't really at that age. You should take that into consideration.

She, the same as you, still have a lot to learn.
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
September 16 2011 23:13 GMT
#13
thanks for all the advice you guys. It means alot to me that you take your time and actually try to help me out. big hearts to you all <3
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
Zombie_Velociraptor
Profile Joined May 2011
274 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-16 23:18:46
September 16 2011 23:17 GMT
#14
This probably isn't going to be very helpful at all, but after reading this:

She is 15 years old and I am 20 years old. It's 4 years between us on paper, but in reality its pretty much 5 years


I can see why the title of the blog is 'what's wrong with me'...
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-16 23:19:49
September 16 2011 23:19 GMT
#15
On September 17 2011 08:17 Zombie_Velociraptor wrote:
This probably isn't going to be very helpful at all, but after reading this:

Show nested quote +
She is 15 years old and I am 20 years old. It's 4 years between us on paper, but in reality its pretty much 5 years


I can see why the title of the blog is 'what's wrong with me'...


what do you want to have said with that?

EDIT after you EDITED: Yeah thanks, douche.
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
eXigent.
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada2419 Posts
September 16 2011 23:21 GMT
#16
Have you had a girlfriend before this one? IMO it sounds like its your first relationship, and you are taking everything way too seriously because of that. Maybe its inner fear that unless everything is perfect, you guys will break up. Many people in their first relationship suffer from this clingy effect, fearing that the relationship may end and all of these new experiences and feelings will be over.

I suggest trying your hardest to start taking everything positively, and do things to take your mind off of negative thoughts. Everytime you argue about the same thing , it probably puts a small rift into your relationship that could possibly blow up some time later on. I would advise backing down a little and resisting the urge to argue. In general its good to be calm and level headed in every portion of your relationship, and would benefit not only you, but her aswell.

Lastly realize she is very young, and most likely has a completely different mindset than you regarding all kinds of things. Even if the relationship doesnt work out in the end, dont treat it as the end of the world and learn from it and build on it. After a while you will find its much easier to remain calm and basically roll with the punches.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
September 16 2011 23:25 GMT
#17
On September 17 2011 08:19 TOCHMY wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 17 2011 08:17 Zombie_Velociraptor wrote:
This probably isn't going to be very helpful at all, but after reading this:

She is 15 years old and I am 20 years old. It's 4 years between us on paper, but in reality its pretty much 5 years


I can see why the title of the blog is 'what's wrong with me'...


what do you want to have said with that?

EDIT after you EDITED: Yeah thanks, douche.

Seriously bro shes probably too young for you anyway.

Remember, if her favorite toy doesnt vibrate shes too young for you bro.

But in all reality, shes young as fuck, give her some space and stop being so fucking clingy wow. Thats like the #1 thing girls hate is clingy as fuck guys
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
DoubleZee
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada556 Posts
September 16 2011 23:26 GMT
#18
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age.
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
TOCHMY
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Sweden1692 Posts
September 16 2011 23:29 GMT
#19
On September 17 2011 08:26 DoubleZee wrote:
Don't date a 15 year old. Seriously. Can't you be arrested if you guys have a bad breakup and she claims you "raped" her? It's never a good idea to date someone that young when you're not the same age.


you can get arrested if anyone says you raped her, but yeah i get ur point.
Yoona <3 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Look! It's Totoro! ☉.☉☂
nicknt
Profile Joined October 2010
185 Posts
September 16 2011 23:33 GMT
#20
you seem to be clingy and crave drama, stop doing that.
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