EPTstupid whiny zergs - Page 2
| Blogs > Jimmy Raynor |
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TelecoM
United States10889 Posts
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Hesmyrr
Canada5776 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
We're underpowered because you keep having your patriarchal arch reigning all over our parade and swarm. Our poor Queen can't even get a job besides tending to her father: The Overmind and taking care of her pets while you gallivant around the universe in your Cattlebruiser, trying too another MALE. | ||
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jdseemoreglass
United States3773 Posts
On May 23 2011 04:20 Torte de Lini wrote: You call our race stupid, but you're the one porking our queen. We're underpowered because you keep having your patriarchal arch reigning all over our parade and swarm. Our poor Queen can't even get a job besides tending to her father: The Overmind and taking care of her pets while you gallivant around the universe in your Cattlebruiser, trying too another MALE. Torte you sound like you are drunk. Or maybe having a stroke or something... | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
oopsies :B | ||
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zawk9
United States427 Posts
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eviltomahawk
United States11135 Posts
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Darclite
United States1021 Posts
On May 23 2011 04:20 Torte de Lini wrote: You call our race stupid, but you're the one porking our queen. We're underpowered because you keep having your patriarchal arch reigning all over our parade and swarm. Our poor Queen can't even get a job besides tending to her father: The Overmind and taking care of her pets while you gallivant around the universe in your Cattlebruiser, trying too another MALE. This is the best post I have ever seen. I don't even know what it means. "You're the one porking our queen." But yeah, to the OP, obviously you're gonna face a lot of Zerg, but YOU were the one who just HAD to go down to Char. | ||
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Comeh
United States18919 Posts
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Skeletor
United States92 Posts
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pQylling
Denmark139 Posts
On May 23 2011 03:17 Aesop wrote: We know what you've been through Jimmy. We feel you man, we really do. | ||
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Ryan307 :)
United States1289 Posts
On May 23 2011 03:17 Aesop wrote: We know what you've been through Jimmy. This made me laugh out loud ahaha  | ||
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Mr. Wiggles
Canada5894 Posts
I'm a Drone. My life sucks. | ||
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Duka08
3391 Posts
On May 23 2011 04:52 Darclite wrote: This is the best post I have ever seen. I don't even know what it means. "You're the one porking our queen." But yeah, to the OP, obviously you're gonna face a lot of Zerg, but YOU were the one who just HAD to go down to Char. OP's name is Jimmy Raynor, which you obviously realized because of your second line lol. Porking is a slang term. | ||
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
On May 23 2011 05:20 Mr. Wiggles wrote: Really?! Have you ever tried living in the swarm? IT'S TERRIBLE. Spend your whole day, trying to make a living, run to the mineral patch, bite off some minerals, run back to the hatchery, rinse, repeat. You barely get paid anything, and you know what, those minerals taste like SHIT. So, try doing that for 18 hours a day, everyday, while you're scared shitless of some redneck hick setting you on fire with a dune-buggy, or a group of hillbillies dropping out of their flying hospital to riddle you with bullets. And you know what's worse than all that? Than all the dangerous shit we have to put up with? The fucking Zerg women. I mean, the Queen's a real bitch, so don't even get me started on that. And that cute drone from the next patch over? Don't get your hopes up, she'll probably end up becoming a fucking evolution chamber or something, and trust me, she'll never be cute again after that. I'm a Drone. My life sucks. Hey man, I get what you're feeling too. I'm a drone and sometimes I just weep everytime I think of that time where I was ordered to become a spine crawler. Can you imagine me as a spine crawler? My small rigid body, scaled and lacking of proper lotion into a small static defensive unit. The worst part? Get this, I have to fucking stab the shit out of my enemies with my tongue. First I'm snacking on blue minerals that don't taste like blueberries, next thing you know, I'm keeping my mouth open as if I'm at the dentist, trying to take out that small jugular of an enemy unit with my tongue. Have you ever tried stabbing a fucking Stalker? Impossible, do they even have a jugular area? Everything bounces off of them and my eyes are at ground-level, so aiming isn't exactly ideal for me. You think you have it rough, get over yourself man. Being a Spine Crawler is a bitch: No action with a female, but my tongue is sore every night. | ||
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SilverJohnny
United States885 Posts
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Psyonic_Reaver
United States4343 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
On May 23 2011 05:26 Torte de Lini wrote: Hey man, I get what you're feeling too. I'm a drone and sometimes I just weep everytime I think of that time where I was ordered to become a spine crawler. Can you imagine me as a spine crawler? My small rigid body, scaled and lacking of proper lotion into a small static defensive unit. The worst part? Get this, I have to fucking stab the shit out of my enemies with my tongue. First I'm snacking on blue minerals that don't taste like blueberries, next thing you know, I'm keeping my mouth open as if I'm at the dentist, trying to take out that small jugular of an enemy unit with my tongue. Have you ever tried stabbing a fucking Stalker? Impossible, do they even have a jugular area? Everything bounces off of them and my eyes are at ground-level, so aiming isn't exactly ideal for me. You think you have it rough, get over yourself man. Being a Spine Crawler is a bitch: No action with a female, but my tongue is sore every night. What are you talking about? How dare you complain? Do you realize that I'm the only form of cheap anti-air for Zerg? Yeah, it's me. The Spore Crawler. I know all and see all [with my detection], but have you seen me move off creep? I'm slow as fuck. What can I do with all this sight and knowledge if I can't move at all. You complain about a swelling tongue? I have to swallow large amounts of bacteria, that's right; pure and utter dirt just to repel against large and huge mechanical masses like the Void Ray and the Banshee. You think it's easy managing to form huge bio balls of dirt and shit at those things at a rate of 17 damage per second. That's right, 17 whole fucking units of damage. That's not a lot, they don't go down fast. How do you think my health is looking, the drone complains that he's overworked, you're bitching that your tongue hurts, but look at me: I'm eating balls of dirt and reguritating it at an incredible speed. That ain't easy and to top it off: there's 0 health coverage with the Overmind, shit's worse than Scientology bub, so don't go hollering about your poor tongue. At least it can kill shit, I highly doubt pieces of wet spit will really scuff up an entire phoenix. So please, spare me your complaints and whines, you really have no place to talk. | ||
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DorF
Sweden961 Posts
Ps: 5/5 blog, seriosusly epic material | ||
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
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