stupid whiny zergs

On May 23 2011 03:41 atombombforpeace wrote:
Shit son, you fucking just walked into the zerg homeworld with an halfdead battery made thousands of fucking years ago by a now basically extinct race, and wiped out the entire fucking zerg chain of command, with a halfassed band of brothers and incompotent allies, and you claim zergs are whiny? Get over your drinking problems, and win this battle. Hearts and minds Jimmy... hearts and minds.

On May 23 2011 04:20 Torte de Lini wrote:
You call our race stupid, but you're the one porking our queen.
We're underpowered because you keep having your patriarchal arch reigning all over our parade and swarm. Our poor Queen can't even get a job besides tending to her father: The Overmind and taking care of her pets while you gallivant around the universe in your Cattlebruiser, trying too another MALE.

On May 23 2011 04:20 Torte de Lini wrote:
You call our race stupid, but you're the one porking our queen.
We're underpowered because you keep having your patriarchal arch reigning all over our parade and swarm. Our poor Queen can't even get a job besides tending to her father: The Overmind and taking care of her pets while you gallivant around the universe in your Cattlebruiser, trying too another MALE.

On May 23 2011 03:17 Aesop wrote:
We know what you've been through Jimmy.

On May 23 2011 03:17 Aesop wrote:
We know what you've been through Jimmy.

On May 23 2011 04:52 Darclite wrote:


This is the best post I have ever seen. I don't even know what it means. "You're the one porking our queen."

But yeah, to the OP, obviously you're gonna face a lot of Zerg, but YOU were the one who just HAD to go down to Char.

On May 23 2011 05:39 Torte de Lini wrote:


What are you talking about? How dare you complain? Do you realize that I'm the only form of cheap anti-air for Zerg?

Yeah, it's me. The Spore Crawler. I know all and see all [with my detection], but have you seen me move off creep? I'm slow as fuck. What can I do with all this sight and knowledge if I can't move at all.

You complain about a swelling tongue? I have to swallow large amounts of bacteria, that's right; pure and utter dirt just to repel against large and huge mechanical masses like the Void Ray and the Banshee. You think it's easy managing to form huge bio balls of dirt and shit at those things at a rate of 17 damage per second. That's right, 17 whole fucking units of damage. That's not a lot, they don't go down fast. How do you think my health is looking, the drone complains that he's overworked, you're bitching that your tongue hurts, but look at me: I'm eating balls of dirt and reguritating it at an incredible speed. That ain't easy and to top it off: there's 0 health coverage with the Overmind, shit's worse than Scientology bub, so don't go hollering about your poor tongue. At least it can kill shit, I highly doubt pieces of wet spit will really scuff up an entire phoenix.

So please, spare me your complaints and whines, you really have no place to talk.

On May 23 2011 06:09 Torte de Lini wrote:


(Oh, it's on!)

Hey guys, get a load of this guy. He complains about how important he is, the HQ of the Zerg and now he's whining like a pubescent kid who doesn't want the responsibility anymore.

Suck it up champ. You think you have it hard? You think you have weight issues? Do you understand how much effort it takes to keep me afloat? Do you understand that as an overlord, I am far from being any form of superior status. Look at my name: Overlord. You'd think I'd be badass like Darth Vader but instead I'm just some fat-ass overbearing mule with limbs that don't serve any purpose.

What do I do? I float around the map all day watching my deep friends get obliterated before my eyes and what can I do? I can either let go of all those microwavable burritos (in the form of creep) I brought along my journey or I can at least help my friends prepare for what's up ahead.

But what's the cost? You ready? I dive into a base to at least provide some use for Zerg and I die. All I want to do is just fly freely, I want to be Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music, but instead, I get every single bullet or laser attacking me. I can't even fucking use my limbs for defense, why the hell are they shooting me? I'm have weight issues and my speed is about the same rate as hair growth.

The best part? If asked, I have to somehow manage to fold myself up to morph into an Overseer. I have to somehow suck it all up, flip myself over and compress myself... To be honest, I have to side with the Spore Crawler, spitting shit is really fucking difficult and cumbersome. You're a hatchery, people try and defend you. I'm an overlord, replaceable, no big deal. Get this: people intentionally tech to air units just to shoot me down. What the fuck, a whole production facility and unit just to make me cry and hurt.

This is bullying in the purest form and you complain that you are fed genetic shit and have to provide life for all of us. Seriously man, you are such a pretentious dick.

The worst thing, is losing all your freedom. I mean, you can fly around and shit, but I'm forced waddle around so slowly I can't do anything. I used to be a zergling, WITH WINGS. I was like fucking Flash, and now I move like Rosie O'Donnell, that kind've stuff gets you depressed.

On May 23 2011 07:11 Hesmyrr wrote:

This poor specimen have crossed the line, and have spoken the word that must not be used. The culprit is already eliminated by hivemind and the genetic database of entire species under process of eradication, estimated effectiveness Heart of the Swarm.

      The Ever Glorious Overmind

On May 23 2011 06:28 Mr. Wiggles wrote:


Oh, Boo-Hoo, mortality rates for over-lords aren't even that bad, maybe a couple get shot down if the overmind isn't looking and is too busy picking his nose, but mostly you spend your time flying around and grazing freely on the creep.

So, you know what a dangerous job is? Being a baneling. I mean, there's a 100% mortality rate, and NO hazard pay. Ask for the overmind for hazard pay, he says come back with a couple hundred signatures, but by the time you collect enough, only maybe five of those assholes are still alive and able to be counted. So yeah, Baneling rights just go right out the window, when no one's alive long enough to actually ask for anything.

The worst thing, is losing all your freedom. I mean, you can fly around and shit, but I'm forced waddle around so slowly I can't do anything. I used to be a zergling, WITH WINGS. I was like fucking Flash, and now I move like Rosie O'Donnell, that kind've stuff gets you depressed.

And you think you're replaceable? Try having my job. Turnover rate's so fast, it's insane. The overmind's just looking for an excuse to get you killed. Lone marine? Send in the Banelings. Thor? Send in the banelings. Banshee? SEND IN THE MOTHERFUCKING BANELINGS. We're the very definition of expendable, at least people want to keep you around to feed everybody, I mean, you're useful. My only use, is blowing up. Sad part is, some of these guys enjoy it, they're fanatical suicide bombers, and that gives all of us a shit reputation.

And don't complain to me about the effort required. Do you know how much concentration it takes to stop from accidentally blowing up? I mean, if you trip over anything, you'll go out in an acid explosion. And God help you, if you're with any other banelings and they aren't being careful. Any ONE person screws up, we all die. So yeah, don't complain about effort, when your job requires so much effort you don't even need to control your bowels, and can spend all day crapping yourself happily over the creep.

So, stop hating on the hatchery, and do your job. If you're lucky you'll get through this hell-hole alive. If I'm lucky I'll end up as a pinata at some Overmind's birthday party.

On May 23 2011 03:38 Mikilatov wrote:
...Whether they're underpowered or not, I'm not sure, but the way in which Zerg generally loses does seem to have a quite frustrating 'wtf could I have done' type of helplessness feel about it.