EPTYesterday I got a phone call that I almost didn't pick up because my mom is like the only person on my phone who doesn't have a separate ringtone assigned and I thought it was just her (instead of an unknown caller). I picked it up on like the last ring and to my surprise it was some girl telling me that they have reviewed my application and phone interview and was trying to schedule an in person interview at the store they needed people at. She told me the next day at 12pm was the earliest, and I confirmed.
My sleep schedule is once again fucked from staying up late so this is not super hard but I just couldn't fall asleep til like 4-5 in the morning this night even though I was laying down.
So I wake up at like 8:30, my mom calling me to make sure I didn't need a ride. It has been raining lately but Sunday forecast was supposed to be sunny and my transportation is an electric scooter, so I told her no thanks and tried to catch some more ZZzzzZ. But the roomates are up with their baby running around leaving the door open to let the cold in and making noise while I sleep on the couch (cause that's my situation right now btw). 30-45 minutes later I wake up again and decide to try and get the extra 30 minutes before my 10:00 am alarms go off.
So I wake up to empty house (I think they went to church or something). So I take a hot ass shower cause I've been cold as fuck. I just kinda sit there like a steam room, almost dozing off. Long shower needed kind of morning. #2, shave, brushin ma teeth, smellin good, finding my nice clothes. Turns out that the condensation on the wall dripped into my clothes on the hangers and they are unwearable.
So now I'm trying to find some stuff that isn't all wrinkled (which was part of the reason I wanted it in the bathroom, to steam out the wrinkles). The shirt has no cuff links, so I need to find some safety pins. And once again I forgot how to tie a tie. The website that I always use (like the first google result or something) has the crappiest pictures and directions ever but I still use it every time for some reason.
After like 10 minutes with that, I realize that I forgot to gel my hair. Then I realize that it's now 11:30 and I need to leave now because the place is 5 miles away and I've never been there and the bike only goes 35-40kph (like 21mph). So I skip cereal, and just take a vitamin and a few gulps of OJ. Then I realize that I can't wear the motorcycle helmet because it will fuck up my hair. So I skip that and my leather jacket because they would also be awkward to carry into an interview.
Hop on the bike, flat tire. It has a slow leak and I totally forgot about it. I bought a pump the other day after having to walk it a few miles last week. But It's a few minutes I can't afford to spare right now. Ok, tire pumped and I'm backing out of the house (cause I park it inside so people don't jack it, and wtf there is a fucking tree in our walkway. A fucking tree. Apparently all the rain softened up the ground and the windy day today has knocked it over. So now I have to lift this 200-300 lb bike around this tree to get the fuck out. More time wasted.
btw, here is a link to what it looks like except the stickers are even gayer and the mirrors are shittier on my model http://www.extremescooters.biz/x-treme-xb-502-electric-bicycle.aspx These things actually count as bicycles on the road. So technically (by CA law) I don't need to wear a helmet if I'm an adult and I don't need a light or use turn signals (which it has anyways). And I ride in the bike lane but can ride in the road to make turns and shit.
I'm now hauling ass on my way (which it's now like 11:45) doing as much illegal street crossing and sidewalk riding as I can get away with. By my calculations I should be able to get 5 miles at 35kph in 13 minutes not counting stops (which I checked the day before). Also fuck, It was sunny but holy shit was it frigid. I should have brought the jacket and some gloves. And I'm sure a 26 year old 6'2" 175 lb dude in a dress shirt, slacks, leather shoes and a tie looks hilarious on this thing btw.
I got lost.
I went like 1-2 miles out of the way because I thought I was on a street that turned into another name (why do they do this anyways, it's so annoying) and it turns out I wasn't. Also the directions I checked the night before were not mapped out, I just kinda looked at the general location and I thought I knew the area well enough. Then as I was heading back to the right direction I went into the shopping center and I swear the first time in my life I could not find the Home Depot (where I'm applying). It's usually the biggest fucking thing on a block but for some reason this one was a smaller one and hidden in the corner of the shopping center behind some other bldgs.
So it's about 12:15 now and I'm pulling up. No bike rack. Even though you need keys to drive this thing. Someone can easily walk away with it or lift it into a truck. So I need to chain it up. I start chaining it to some rusted old rebar bin on the side of the bldg and a worker comes out and tells me I can't do that. Unlock it now. I ask him where a bike rack is and he tells me there isn't one. He then tells me it'd be ok If I locked it towards the side if it's out of the way. But there is a forklift parked there and it made it a little difficult to get close enough and maneuver the lock.
At this point I'm so late and cold and hungry, I'm just thinking; "Shit, I'm probably going to just get shut down and denied". I mean who the fuck comes to an interview 30 minutes late, especially someone who wrote on the app process that it's only ok to be late to work maybe 1 or 2 times in a year. I go to the front desk and the kid knows what I'm there for and escorts me to the back training room. The whole time I'm thinking "fuck. how far back is this room, I'm even more late now." I thought about saying it to the kid.
In the break room there is a big ass table with papers around and a dude muckin with a computer. I think there was was group orientation that I missed.. The guy tells me that the asst. manager is in the room interviewing another girl. I prod him a little and he tells me she's just a worker who is doing a review or something. So praise jebus she's not interviewing my position. Another older dude walks in and starts shootin the shit with the first guy. And a kid walks in and makes fun of his purple shirt. I laughed.
After 10 minutes the girl comes out and some other kid who came in earlier to use a computer goes in the office instantly to ask the manager some shit. Kid comes out and tells the manager that I'm there and to wait another 5 minutes.
Finally he calls me in, we shake hands and do that standard 'tell me about yourself', 'why you think you should have this job', blah blah. I am pretty comfortable with interviews nowadays (they used to be so fucking painful when I was younger) but this one was awkward because the chair I had was taller than the desk the manager was in and It just felt weird being that I am already tall.
I think I did pretty well on the interview, but my responses may have seemed a little forced because my brain was tired and hungry. So I may not have come across as 100% genuine. And for some fucking stupid reason I decided to throw in somewhere that 'part of the reason I was late was because I got lost and couldn't find the place cause I've never been to this particular store' when he didn't even mention it. Why the fuck did I do that?
Anyways, like I said it went ok but at the end I shook his hand "Nice meeting you and I will be giving you call back in a few days after a few more interviews" (because they have a few positions to fill as well). To which I replied "Nice to meet you too." and as I walked out the door I added "And good luck with your other interviews". Which instantly struck me as the oddest thing to say especially from outside a room like 1-2 seconds after ending a conversation. Overall the interview just seemed average and just didn't feel like I made a good/serious impression.
I left feeling like a failure. Although I won't know for sure for a few days, I could be wrong. Probably depends if the other people were/are bigger failures.
So I start my bike home, and I find a shortcut. I laughed at the sight of it. No traffic, just a long stretch of diagonal crossing road for about a mile. It's still cold as shit and my slow leaked tire is starting to get low again. Since I took the shortcut it popped me out on the wrong side of the street and there is a center divider. So I'm riding in the bike lane going opposite to traffic.
At the first light, being impatient I just cut across when it's green but traffic is pretty far back in either direction. There are 2 cars idled, one making a left in front of me and one making a left across from me. As I get to the middle of the crosswalk, my low tire slips out a little and my dress shoes soles slick on the asphalt and I nearly fall over into the car filled with an old couple. Somewhat embarrassed I quickly regain balance and wait for the cars that have now caught up to cross so I can cross. As I do this the car across the street filled with a mid 30s-40s couple honks the horn at me. I look over in disgust and shake my head. "Gimme a break douchebag", I thought to myself.
A few seconds later I get to the next light and at this point the honker has pulled up next to me as we wait for the red. He opens his nosy mouth over his wife, "I saw you back there almost crash... Where's your helmet?.. You're gonna get a DUI." Annoyed I reply "I don't need one."... As if this made any sense at all.."Who the fuck are you?" The light turns green at this very instant and I begin to take off. Then he yells "I'll beat your fuckin ass buddy!". I throw him the finger and yell back "MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!" as he speeds up. Coincidentally I was heading to the Carl's jr. just across the street so I didn't get to continue our conversation at the next red ahead of us.
Who is drunk that early on a Sunday in dress clothes on an electric scooter anyways? This guy looked like the type of guy who was just nosy enough to be a cop but too pussy to actually be one. Probably some church goer wanna be do gooder.
Then I ate the crappy food and the juice was low on the scooter and I walked it the last half a mile home. Came home and just wanted to lay down but people were smoking bowls and drinking on the couch ironically.
Moral of the story:
+ Show Spoiler +
Fuck you, you already know it.
