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Bob. Bob has bitch tits.
Perhaps you are too nice. This guy sounds like a doucher. Quit letting him do all this shit!
You let him
walk around with his fucking dick wagging out of his boxers
eat your food
act like a shit head
leave HIS clothes on your shit
leave his garbage laying around
Be generally disrepectful
Make most of the problems, stress, and mess, and not contribute to fixing any of it
There's what-3 other guys including yourself?
Here's what I think;
Grow a pair of balls, man up, and tell this prick to clean up his act or take a hike. Seriously. You're adults now, fucking act like it. You don't have to take this crap. From anyone. Not to mention there are 3;1 odds. So what's the problem? If anything, this should bring you three together, making a trifuckta of problems for "Bob"
Look man you only live once, and if you can't feel at home when you're at home, that trickles down and seeps into every pore, putting a damper on every other aspect of your life, and productivity. You know what you need to do, you're just looking to be "nice"
admirable, but only needed to a point. Don't be nice. Be civil. There is a great difference.
In summary- kick this mama's boy lazy dumb spoiled fuck to the curb if that's what you want. Or give him an ultimatum. Talk to your boys and decide your course of action. Are you giving him a chance, or kicking him out? If you're kicking him out, decide when. If you're giving him a chance, write it down, have all three of you sign it, and discuss it with him.
Grab your fucking pair man, and get it over with.
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Okay, OP says that he's ignorant: "how do you close the blinds?" "Isn't a candle a fire hazard?"
And that he leaves a mess with packaging.
And he doesn't "offer to pay for his cut of groceries."
And he's loud.
They're all valid reasons for not liking the guy, and not liking a guy is a valid reason to not room with him. That's pretty much all there is to it, at least from your end.
The phrases like "doesn't take initiative" and "doesn't offer" imply that once you ask him to, he does do stuff. Maybe he's just ignorant as hell about housekeeping, he's probably never lived away from his parents before.
He's basically got 3 options:
*Get his own place. No one to bitch at him. Or get a roommate who's as dirty as he is, and as loud as he is. Same result, he lives in filth and no one cares.
*Hire a maid. You implied that he's from a rich family? He might be able to afford one. Maids generally won't complain about the noise.
*Learn how to keep the place clean, and manner up. If he's not okay with living in filth and can't/won't hire a maid, it's the only option left for him no matter where he lives.
Of course it's not your responsibility, but you could make this clear to him that the fourth option of living with other guys and letting them pick up his trash isn't an option any more.
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On January 24 2011 14:13 phosphorylation wrote:
so you need to kick him out because
1) he argues about things like lighting a candle
2)he doesn't share HIS food
3) you don't like him
and
4) you don't like him
it sounds more like a cliquish thing than a legitimate complaint
You take two examples shared in the OP and conclude those are the only things he does? From the sounds of it, he is a terrible roommate, get your friends together and tell him to pick his shit up(literally and metaphorically) or hes getting the boot. When you're living with people you have to learn to compromise. It's not like hes gonna go through life without someone teaching him this lesson, mind as well teach it to him now.
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it seems you dont like him more than having a valid reason (but that's just as good as any for not wanting to live with someone)
but tell him asap, and dont be surprised if he says fuck you and im saying through my lease, because he has every right.
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On January 24 2011 22:20 BottleAbuser wrote:
The phrases like "doesn't take initiative" and "doesn't offer" imply that once you ask him to, he does do stuff. Maybe he's just ignorant as hell about housekeeping, he's probably never lived away from his parents before.
That in itself is part of what bothers us. He has no intrinsic sense of consideration for other people. Having Bob offer us some of his food, or take out the trash of his own accord is different from asking him "Hey Bob, could you please offer us some of your food since you eat our food without paying for it anyway?" The fact is, the other 3 of us clean up or do dishes, even for each other if other people are studying for tests and stuff, but he's pretty much a non participant in this matter. We've tried the whole semester in a civilized non-degrading manner to help him become a better participant in housekeeping matters, but he really hasn't shown much improvement.... so we don't have much reason to believe that he can improve all of a sudden, so id really rather just not live with him again.
On January 24 2011 22:04 AtomicTon wrote:
Bob. Bob has bitch tits.
Perhaps you are too nice. This guy sounds like a doucher. Quit letting him do all this shit!
You let him
walk around with his fucking dick wagging out of his boxers
eat your food
act like a shit head
leave HIS clothes on your shit
leave his garbage laying around
Be generally disrepectful
Make most of the problems, stress, and mess, and not contribute to fixing any of it
There's what-3 other guys including yourself?
Here's what I think;
Grow a pair of balls, man up, and tell this prick to clean up his act or take a hike. Seriously. You're adults now, fucking act like it. You don't have to take this crap. From anyone. Not to mention there are 3;1 odds. So what's the problem? If anything, this should bring you three together, making a trifuckta of problems for "Bob"
Look man you only live once, and if you can't feel at home when you're at home, that trickles down and seeps into every pore, putting a damper on every other aspect of your life, and productivity. You know what you need to do, you're just looking to be "nice"
admirable, but only needed to a point. Don't be nice. Be civil. There is a great difference.
In summary- kick this mama's boy lazy dumb spoiled fuck to the curb if that's what you want. Or give him an ultimatum. Talk to your boys and decide your course of action. Are you giving him a chance, or kicking him out? If you're kicking him out, decide when. If you're giving him a chance, write it down, have all three of you sign it, and discuss it with him.
Grab your fucking pair man, and get it over with.
Honestly, I don't want to room with him again period. We've tried for the duration of last semester to fix his act (nicely for a good part of it!), but he really hasn't shown much improvement. And he doesn't take our complaints seriously.... like we hounded him for weeks about the boxer issue, and he kept blowing us off, until we finally got fed up with it and just stapled all his fucking underwear shut.... it's just the kind of guy he is.
On January 25 2011 01:25 Hawk wrote:
it seems you dont like him more than having a valid reason (but that's just as good as any for not wanting to live with someone)
but tell him asap, and dont be surprised if he says fuck you and im saying through my lease, because he has every right.
Nah I liked the guy before he started living with us... like Mani said living with someone and knowing someone are totally different.
but im not so worried about that... considering that the lease ended up being under his name because that was the most convenient at the time, I think we will probably end up moving out on him. Though that might seem like it's convenient for him, I know he's not gonna have an easy time filling up the place with 3 new roommates cuz he doesn't have that many friends.
But thanks for your input everybody, we will approach him and just tell him straight up that we don't want to live with him anymore probably sometime this weekend.
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On January 25 2011 02:53 OMin wrote:
but im not so worried about that... considering that the lease ended up being under his name because that was the most convenient at the time, I think we will probably end up moving out on him. Though that might seem like it's convenient for him, I know he's not gonna have an easy time filling up the place with 3 new roommates cuz he doesn't have that many friends.
folks. This is why you don't fill out a lease under your own name if you are going to depend on other people (especially kind of guys that 'staple your underwear shut' if you walk around them in it, oh no). My roommates can be wearing their boxers even when my gf is in the living room, not like they do it all the time. Maybe you should stop staring at his gorgeous cock through the opening and you won't see it for once. Maybe all your hate stems solely from this untamed jealousy, think about it.
Like I said, he is probably repulsive to you, the things you mention are nowhere near severe. Plus you have decided already, haven't you.
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On January 25 2011 04:39 news wrote:Show nested quote +On January 25 2011 02:53 OMin wrote:
but im not so worried about that... considering that the lease ended up being under his name because that was the most convenient at the time, I think we will probably end up moving out on him. Though that might seem like it's convenient for him, I know he's not gonna have an easy time filling up the place with 3 new roommates cuz he doesn't have that many friends.
folks. This is why you don't fill out a lease under your own name if you are going to depend on other people (especially kind of guys that 'staple your underwear shut' if you walk around them in it (oh no)). My roommates can walk around in their boxers even when my gf is in the living room, not like they do it all the time. Maybe you should stop staring at his cock through the opening and you won't see it for once. Like I said, he is probably repulsive to you, the things you mention are nowhere near severe. Plus you have decided already, haven't you.
so are you saying i should be happy that he is paying the same amount that any of us are but doesn't do his cut of work? yes, i stated in the OP that this situation isn't the worst case ever. but the fact is, Bob is the source of most of the disagreement in the house, and so life would just be simpler for me and the others if he werent an issue.
wed have np with him walking around in boxers if they buttoned in the front... but guess what, they dont. and its not like were immature brats who stapled his boxers shut for kicks - all 3 of us repeatedly asked him over and over for weeks to put his pants on in the living room, but he refused to listen to us. either we did something to really get the message across as words obviously did not get it done, or we just let Bob keep getting away with something that 3 other people disagreed with (theres something wrong with that picture no?)
And the boxer issue is but a small aspect of the many things that just piled up over the semester.... for instance, having paid $0 for the $500 worth of groceries expenditure that everybody else has willingly taken turns to pay.
it seems you are trying to tell me that i dont have a good reason to want to not live with him anymore.... go ahead and think so. but i feel i am perfectly justified in wanting to make my life easier by finding people more considerate and agreeable to do their share of housework.
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not liking him is a good reason not to live with him. It's justified. It sucks that he ate your food, what does he say about it?
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On January 25 2011 04:56 news wrote:
not liking him is a good reason not to live with him. It's justified. It sucks that he ate your food, what does he say about it?
ok, then i dont see why exactly you seemed so against what ive said in your post. its not like were gonna skip out on paying the rent when move out or anything.... everyone will pay their equal share till the lease is over. well all just be living in different places after that.
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did you consider talking to him like a man and saying "yo, clean up your act... for serious" ??
just kicking him out without a talking to first is a dick move, just talk it out first... tell him if he doesnt comply he can go elsewhere
if all the others agree with you, then what can he do about it?
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I know there's roommates much worse than Bob out there (the blog about that guy who got it on with black dudes while the blogger was sleeping comes to mind lol), and my situation is definitely livable.
hey man, that was some funny shit. i didn't even mind.
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10387 Posts
tell him if he doesn't clean his act up you guys are gonna kick him out
and if he doesn't then oh well, you gave him a chance and he blew it : P
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Show him this blog, so he can know what you think of him if you don't want to say it directly to him, and what other people think of him from what you have described so far.
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Wow, this takes me back to being an RA and dealing with roommate conflicts. Unlike most those situations you all seemed to have communicated your issues. I suppose it all comes down to whether or not he decides to work with you (despite the fact you're trying really hard)
On January 25 2011 02:53 OMin wrote:
... considering that the lease ended up being under his name because that was the most convenient at the time, I think we will probably end up moving out on him.
That makes it a tad more difficult. But there's a way you can play it...
If you all want to move out just get together and tell him you're leaving and since he's the one on the lease he need to find some roommates or get a huge bill. Either (A). he decides he doesn't want to pay that much and tries harder or (B). he doesn't really care, you all move out, and his parents pay the huge bill or the fine for breaking lease and moving back in with them. There's also random choice (C). No one feels like doing anything, put up with Bob until the lease ends, and tell stories for the rest of your life about Bob the terrible roommate.
Personally whatever you do I don't think Bob is going to learn any valuable life lessons. But those aren't yours to teach. Good luck!
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dude suck it up and deal with it. My roommate was EXACTLY
EXACTLY the same way. his mom sent him with a months food in tin foil and frozen. he asked me in june where the garbage dumpster was. so on and so forth.
kid was, is, and always will be my BEST friend. if its only your first couple months with him, give it some time.
also, kids like that are use to being taken care of. it doesnt even strike him as odd that you all do his dishes. ask him. point out he doesnt do any while you all do. he will probably see sense in it. its not fair to him that you all start holding resentment against him because you dont want to ask him to help out. if you ask and he says no, then its different.
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meh if you all hate him then have a group pow wow, and say you're contemplating a different living arrangement that only allows for 3 roommates and you thought he should know.
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lol? all i got from the OP is that he's messy (the other things you brought up are imho, you making a deal out of things that are ridiculous and would make me dislike you as a roommate haha)
if you can't get him to clean his shit up, that's fine and is a good enough reason to dislike him/move out. i hate living with messy roomies myself. but something tells me you haven't tried talking to him about any specific issues at all. you just kind of clean up after himself with your roomies and hope he'll get the hint? that won't work, he just thinks you're nice.
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On January 25 2011 07:58 Gene wrote:
dude suck it up and deal with it. My roommate was EXACTLY
EXACTLY the same way. his mom sent him with a months food in tin foil and frozen. he asked me in june where the garbage dumpster was. so on and so forth.
kid was, is, and always will be my BEST friend. if its only your first couple months with him, give it some time.
also, kids like that are use to being taken care of. it doesnt even strike him as odd that you all do his dishes. ask him. point out he doesnt do any while you all do. he will probably see sense in it. its not fair to him that you all start holding resentment against him because you dont want to ask him to help out. if you ask and he says no, then its different.
the thing is, this guy isn't exactly a close friend, or else id be much more willing to tolerate it. his personality clashes with one of my other roomies, to the point where they were yelling at each other and trying to throw each other to the ground several times... if it was just me complaining, i would say im not in a position to think about changing roommates, but my other 2 roommates also dont like how things are right now either.
On January 25 2011 09:20 JeeJee wrote: lol? all i got from the OP is that he's messy (the other things you brought up are imho, you making a deal out of things that are ridiculous and would make me dislike you as a roommate haha) if you can't get him to clean his shit up, that's fine and is a good enough reason to dislike him/move out. i hate living with messy roomies myself. but something tells me you haven't tried talking to him about any specific issues at all. you just kind of clean up after himself with your roomies and hope he'll get the hint? that won't work, he just thinks you're nice. i do have my share of flaws, and maybe some people would better tolerate my situation than i would.
lol im not into the whole passive aggressive deal. weve clearly reiterated repeatedly about the things he needs to do better... as we speak he is napping, while there are crumbs from his meal left all over the dinner table. weve told him a million times that he cant do stuff like that, so how are we supposed to get him to fix his act without being control freaks if reminders ad naseum are obviously not working?
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you should at least give him a chance to fix the things he does before you ask him to leave
sure the guy has sloppy habits and is a bad roommate but maybe he was just brought up like that and doesnt know any better, as you've said, he might not have ill intentions
just because the way your lifestyle doesn't fit his lifestyle doesn't warrant you kicking someone out. that's a really asshole move
Have a serious conversation with him, fix the things between you guys that need to be worked out (ask him to stop doing things you don't like) and give him a chance. If things continue to be bad AFTER the conversation, THEN you should take action.
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People's suggestions telling you to try and change him are completely stupid and pointless. Think about how hard it is to change negative aspects of yourself and then you'll realize how futile it is to try to get someone to do a 180 in their day to day habits. It ain't happening. DO NOT TRY AND REMEDY THE SITUATION. Even if he changes for a little while he'll go back to his old habits. It's like someone who does P90X for a week and then goes back to not working out at all.
If he has two months at the end of the semester to find new roommates or get his living situation in order then that sounds like plenty of time. You could put it off until that late but that seems kinda douchy. The sooner the better I'd say.
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