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Dating Advice, etc

Blogs > Xeris
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1 2 3 4 Next All
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
December 24 2010 10:38 GMT
#1
Sorta inspired by this blog, and of course... I've sorta blogged about girls/dating and stuff before. I'm just now going to add to these my own thoughts on girls and dating, hopefully provide some insight. Not like I'm some superstud, but I guess dating people for a time and being in relationships has taught me a thing or two @_@!

Here are some other things to consider that the OP really should think about adding:

All girls are different...
You can't treat all girls the same, if you want to be with a girl, you need to feel her out at first to find out precisely how she is and what she likes. For example, there are some girls who love the whole "you're so beautiful, your eyes twinkle like the stars!" routine (aka, sappy romantic jargon) . Other girls don't like this at all. You need to know what you're dealing with, essentially. If you come at a girl with roses and chocolates, it might be a turn off -- another girl might love it. Make sure you find out these things (in a casual, non revealing manner, of course... so it isn't totally obvious what you're trying to do) BEFORE you start trying to woo someone because you could screw it up!

Don't play your whole hand at once...
This one was tough for me, so I'd assume it is tough for others too. If you're talking to a girl and it's getting to the point where you're starting to date/be together, there is a strong tendency to think "omg I gotta go allin to make sure she'll go out with me!" So you reveal EVERYTHING, you'll do all your romantic stuff, tell her all your coolest stories (to make you look like a badass/funny person/whatever) - and it will work! But then what? What happens in 1-2 years when you have to keep thinking of cool romantic things to do, only to realize you used up your best ideas in the first two months. Re-doing gifts/romantic stuff is generally bad. If you tell the girl all your stories, what will be left to talk about 1-2 years down the road?

You need to ensure that you've got enough left in the bank to last long term, unless of course all you want to do is have sex (then you probably shouldn't be reading this blog anyway.. go get some sex!).

One of the most important factors in a relationship is having stuff to DO, especially when it gets longer in length (I've been in 2 relationships that lasted 3+ years). Another point, I know that when you're in the beginning stages of a relationship, the girl will always seem like the greatest thing in the world and cause you to want to do all your MOST romantic ideas - don't give in to the temptation. Temper yourself, because sure you could create a trail of rose petals leading to some home made brownies and then play her a song you wrote for her on your guitar on your 2nd month anniversary, but then you're creating a huge hole that you may not be able to climb out of later (save those things for later in the relationship... unless you're just some ultra creative baller that can continuously outdo yourself).

Don't get too serious too fast!
Unless you know the girl specifically is like "ya I'm SUPER SERIOUS," it is a turnoff to appear to get too serious too fast. Realize that "I love you" carries a lot of weight and you probably shouldn't throw it around like used toilet paper. Be absolutely sure of what you're saying before you say it, because whether you think it or not, there's a lot of connotation behind those words. Most girls will probably take that phrase a lot more seriously than you do... so don't mess around with it.

I've also found that creating a relationship on a more light-hearted / whimsical nature is a lot better than getting serious really fast. Everything builds better for a long term relationship when it doesn't start seriously. My last relationship got serious very fast, and it eventually created a ton of tension. My current relationship is just about having a good time together and enjoying each other's company and I just feel like it is so much more healthy.


I'll update more if I think of stuff. Enjoy.


twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
Mora
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada5235 Posts
December 24 2010 10:46 GMT
#2
you know Xeris... i think i've known you longer than anyone else online. Everyone else from $playaz$ days no longer plays (as far as i know?)

I saw GSR on WoW a few years back. I don't know if Cyc still plays, but i've known him longer than even $playaz$.

You ever talk to Romeo, Diablo, Mog, GSR, Crazed, ?
Happiness only real when shared.
shindigs
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4795 Posts
December 24 2010 10:49 GMT
#3
Life = Starcraft

Gotta set yourself up to the long term macro game. As a wise poster once said, "You can't 1a2a3a your way to the vajayjay".
Photographer@shindags || twitch.tv/shindigs
MaReK
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Australia446 Posts
December 24 2010 11:04 GMT
#4
On December 24 2010 19:38 Xeris wrote:
You can't treat all girls the same, if you want to be with a girl, you need to feel her out at first to find out precisely how she is and what she likes.

Sorry couldn't resist.
"My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg "
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
December 24 2010 11:05 GMT
#5
On December 24 2010 19:46 Mora wrote:
you know Xeris... i think i've known you longer than anyone else online. Everyone else from $playaz$ days no longer plays (as far as i know?)

I saw GSR on WoW a few years back. I don't know if Cyc still plays, but i've known him longer than even $playaz$.

You ever talk to Romeo, Diablo, Mog, GSR, Crazed, ?


Nope T__T! Last I talked to Mog was around 2006 or so... everyone else, NO idea
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
Skyze
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada2324 Posts
December 24 2010 11:08 GMT
#6
On December 24 2010 20:05 Xeris wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 24 2010 19:46 Mora wrote:
you know Xeris... i think i've known you longer than anyone else online. Everyone else from $playaz$ days no longer plays (as far as i know?)

I saw GSR on WoW a few years back. I don't know if Cyc still plays, but i've known him longer than even $playaz$.

You ever talk to Romeo, Diablo, Mog, GSR, Crazed, ?


Nope T__T! Last I talked to Mog was around 2006 or so... everyone else, NO idea


Most of them are on SC2 right now honestly.. Romeo and Crazed anyways.. Kowboy (Falling[StaR!]) and arf and afew others too.. I recall Cyc playing beta I think but havent seen him on retail.
Canada Gaming ~~ The-Feared
DuckSausage
Profile Joined March 2009
United States83 Posts
December 24 2010 12:01 GMT
#7
Build-order (short-term):

1. Disinterested conversation.

2. Mild flirtation.

3. Fast expand into quick, innocent touching--should not be misconstrued as anything too 'intentional'.

4. Frequency and duration of touching should slowly increase. Avoid a rush strategy.

5. Change the setting at least once--e.g., if in a cafe, suggest a walk in the park afterward; if eating dinner, suggest going to a bar or catching a movie.

6. Isolate. Setting should ultimately change into one affording a sense of privacy. If rejected, do not continue; repeat the above.

7. While isolated and with touch frequency high, aim for ear-lobes / neck. Nibble, caress, whatever. Just don't get too full-on.

8. Don't expect to go to far or too fast in a single night.

9+. I'll leave it to the imagination.

Upgrades:

- Humor
- Alcohol
- Money
- Looks / Fashion

Downgrades:

- Too eager to pay for stuff
- Too eager in replying to texts, emails, etc.
- Pick-up lines
- Being too romantic, or moving too fast too quickly
- Continuing to try to isolate even after multiple rejections; displaying any sort of annoyance / frustration at the aforementioned
- Speaking too much

What am I missing here?
Do not want.
esla_sol
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States756 Posts
December 24 2010 12:36 GMT
#8
On December 24 2010 21:01 DuckSausage wrote:

What am I missing here?


the part where it's fun
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
December 24 2010 12:42 GMT
#9
i agree with point 1 alot, but obviously all people are different!

i dont really like point 2 for myself though because i like to use up everything as it comes to me, it's not like i have a store house of ideas or something. But anything that pops into my head i do/share, if i cant splurge all my stuff now and then continue to be awesome a year later then im a pretty non creative lame pile of sadness lol, but i guess some people just arent creative and need to hold back

and with 3 i got really serious with my current girlfriend fast but i know that she feels the same way and im not one of those people that need to blog about my relationships on tl cause i can adapt to situations!

always fun to read about other peoples stuff like this and give any random input where possible
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
December 24 2010 13:08 GMT
#10
What is with all these girl-advice blogs coming up recently?

I have mixed feelings about point 2 yo~

Knowing to pace yourself is a good idea but it's never a good idea to keep minerals in the bank if you're playing for the endgame keke
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
December 24 2010 15:08 GMT
#11
On December 24 2010 22:08 d3_crescentia wrote:
What is with all these girl-advice blogs coming up recently?

Maybe its because everyone is growing up... demographics?
Either that or people are now starting to associate TL with free dating advice.

Who wouldn't want to be the wise old guy on the topic of love- makes you feel like an awesome nerd.

OP is spot on, would have said the exact same things- doing basically all of that right now in RL lol.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
December 24 2010 17:34 GMT
#12
On December 24 2010 22:08 d3_crescentia wrote:
What is with all these girl-advice blogs coming up recently?

I have mixed feelings about point 2 yo~

Knowing to pace yourself is a good idea but it's never a good idea to keep minerals in the bank if you're playing for the endgame keke


it's exactly a good idea to keep minerals in the bank if you're playing for endgame because you wanna have money at all times.

btw, quit the sc references :p
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
December 24 2010 17:49 GMT
#13
I think a while ago I made an analogy between my asking a girl on a date and a proxy DT rush - as I turned out it was GG but no re

I think the point I was trying to make re: #2 is that if you approach relationships from the lighthearted whimsical enjoy-each-others' company perspective (in your words) then the spontaneity and creativity will naturally be there and you don't have to necessarily worry about keeping a few ideas in stock, but I guess there's no harm in doing so either
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
December 24 2010 18:19 GMT
#14
i guess it's not so much a conscious holding-back but rather something at the back of your mind ... i mean if something just strikes you, go for it.
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
December 24 2010 19:05 GMT
#15
If you come at a girl with roses and chocolates, it might be a turn off -- another girl might love it. Make sure you find out these things (in a casual, non revealing manner, of course... so it isn't totally obvious what you're trying to do) BEFORE you start trying to woo someone because you could screw it up!

Most people's advice is just to keep doing the same thing until you find a girl that it works on. What you seem to be suggesting is that you need to either already be friends with the girl, or be able to ask the girl's friend about the girl lol.

I like to think that the girl I want to be with is the girl who will be receptive to my approach. If a girl wants hackneyed compliments, then I probably don't want to be with her anyway, yaknow? Not that I'm Mr. Successful, but no one on these forums is, and at least I can get girls to watch StarCraft VODs with me.

I think being too afraid to lose and trying to be perfect and get everything right or not try at all is a recurring theme with TL nerd-issues. You have to be willing to lose to have any chance to win
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
December 24 2010 19:26 GMT
#16
On December 24 2010 22:08 d3_crescentia wrote:
What is with all these girl-advice blogs coming up recently?

I have mixed feelings about point 2 yo~

Knowing to pace yourself is a good idea but it's never a good idea to keep minerals in the bank if you're playing for the endgame keke


Yeah, all girl blogs should start with

step 1) find hazelynut and get her to hook you up w/ someone CSL related obv.

loljk
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
December 24 2010 19:29 GMT
#17
On December 25 2010 04:26 ZlaSHeR wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 24 2010 22:08 d3_crescentia wrote:
What is with all these girl-advice blogs coming up recently?

I have mixed feelings about point 2 yo~

Knowing to pace yourself is a good idea but it's never a good idea to keep minerals in the bank if you're playing for the endgame keke


Yeah, all girl blogs should start with

step 1) find hazelynut and get her to hook you up w/ someone CSL related obv.

loljk

hahahahahahahahah I can't stop laughing
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
hazelynut
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2195 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-24 19:37:26
December 24 2010 19:37 GMT
#18
On December 25 2010 04:26 ZlaSHeR wrote:
Yeah, all girl blogs should start with

step 1) find hazelynut and get her to hook you up w/ someone CSL related obv.

loljk


rofl

This I can do .

For some reason, no matter how I read these types of blogs, they always speak of girls in strangely distant/objectifying/irritating ways -_-; girls are not pokemon.
Zerg | life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery | www.cstarleague.com <3
Zlasher
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States9129 Posts
December 24 2010 19:42 GMT
#19
yeah mona hooks people up with csl girls obv.
Follow me: www.twitter.com/zlasher
LosingID8
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
CA10828 Posts
December 24 2010 19:45 GMT
#20
On December 25 2010 04:37 hazelynut wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 25 2010 04:26 ZlaSHeR wrote:
Yeah, all girl blogs should start with

step 1) find hazelynut and get her to hook you up w/ someone CSL related obv.

loljk


rofl

This I can do .

For some reason, no matter how I read these types of blogs, they always speak of girls in strangely distant/objectifying/irritating ways -_-; girls are not pokemon.

this is news to me
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