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![[image loading]](http://lolpics.se/pics/6614.jpg)
Forever a Drone?
I don’t think so, and I’m here to help. As usual, I base this on no professional expertise whatsoever, only on gathered knowledge, experience, wisdom, and a little opinion.
So if your Christmas Break seems like it’s going to be a little lonely, why not start down the path to gaining confidence and doing some quality dating? In the end you may end up with someone who fits you quite well, and you’ll also be having sex, which is nice.
Note: The idea here is to be able to meet and date girls who are halfway decent, not stuck in some niche where quality girls may be few and far between. The whole point of dating someone in the first place is a long interview process to see if they're a viable fit for the long term. Once the term 'girlfriend' has replaced 'dating,' you are then conducting an even longer interview process to see if that girl is a fit for something along the lines of marriage.
Point #1: Augment yourself.
Being ‘attractive’ has nothing to do with your overall physical appearance as far as inherited beauty goes. It only has to do with presentation, both on the level of personality and personal maintenance. Note that you do not have to change who you are, you merely have to augment yourself. Who you are is what makes you unique and interesting, but if it presented wrong then it might work against you.
Appearance:+ Show Spoiler +Sharpen up your wardrobe a little and bring things within the realm of the normal, but according to your personal preferences. Get a good haircut. Wash yourself. Shave. These are simple little things that go a long way. They prevent your otherwise great self from being hampered by correctable turn-offs.
Weight:+ Show Spoiler +Let me give a brief special mention to weight. If you are rail-thin or over-weight, the most important thing for now is to not be self-conscious about it. Even if you are, fake that you aren’t (more on that later), a don't be defensive about it. You should probably work out if only for the future, but don’t think you need to be juiced or anything.
Personality:+ Show Spoiler +Now let’s talk about augmenting your personality. You do not have to be a different person. Be yourself, but just be a more confident you. Carry your head higher (literally put your shoulders back more and stand up straight) and focus on having a self-sure facial expression. All I mean is don’t look slouchy or sad - no one wants to hang around with a downer. Women respond to confidence, and appearing confident is the first step to being confident. If you are not confident then just fake it until you make it. By making conscious attempts to appear a little more bold and sure of yourself than you normally would be, it will eventually come naturally to you and feel natural as well. It all comes down to practice. Don’t be cocky though.
Interests/Nerdiness:+ Show Spoiler +Let me also talk about things like your interests and how you present them. It is ok to like something, but don’t make it seem like that thing rules you, and for the love of God don’t be ashamed of it either. Be confident about your interests and the reasons you like them, but don’t dwell on things that other people themselves are not interested in, and don’t guilt people for not liking them either. (i.e. My girlfriend will never understand the awesomeness that is Star Wars or StarCraft, but I’m not going to jam it down her throat.)
Point #2: Get out there.
No one will ever get much sitting on their ass, so it’s time to go trolling. And I’m talking about fishing trolling, not Internet trolling. The more lines in the water that one has, the more chances they have of catching fish. Women are fish, there are plenty out there, you just have to be out there too.
Socialize:+ Show Spoiler +Socializing is a massive aspect to getting dates and dating. If you really want to meet people it’s simply a matter of socializing as much as humanly possible. Go out with friends, walk around the mall, do activities in groups (exercise classes, w/e). Take the opportunity to talk to many many people, especially women, and don’t hesitate to ask for a number or two.
Dealing with Anxiety:
+ Show Spoiler +Fear is a major inhibitor of attracting people, which is why confidence and frequency is key. You simply have to get over your fear of women by talking to them, and realize that rejection is just like losing on the Ladder; it happens, get over it. Think about it – when you first started laddering you were probably scared to death, but after 150+ games I’ll bet that you aren’t too scared of playing another one, are you? Imagine you talked to the same amount of women in that time; the fear would be gone too.
Point #3: Dealing with BansheesWomen.
All of the self-augmenting you’ve done should at least get you over the hurdles of meeting and talking to women. Dating them is no different, because confidence is really all that matters. Sure there are tactics here and there that help, but what you really want to focus on is the macro game. Here’s a few points:
- Women like to play games. + Show Spoiler +Some women, through no fault of their own other than how they were raised or what they've been told in life, tend to jerk you around a little (not responding to attempts at communication, jealousy plays, being unavailable, etc).Try to spot these games ahead of time and nip them in the bud. Call them out on it too – women like to be challenged, and it will also prevent them from doing similar things in the future.
- Women do not make the rules. + Show Spoiler +Do your best to never appear needy, whether you’ve been dating 3 times or 3 years. Remember that if you’re looking for someone to spend your time with, she is under just as much scrutiny as you are, and should be working for your affection too. Don't be a 'puppy dog' and do all kinds of shit for her. Favors are nice, but only if they are acknowledged, appreciated, and reciprocated.
- Women like to talk about themselves. + Show Spoiler +I’d say that most conversations with a girl should consist of her giving 70% or more of the information. This goes again with the her trying to get you aspect.That is not to say that you should be doing 30% of the talking, just that the conversation should be about her or something that she is interested in most of the time. You don't want to talk too much about yourself right away because it will take away the mystery and you'll be left bare and uninteresting. Generic topics about which you have mutual interest is always good.
- Don't be emotional. + Show Spoiler +Women like to be serious and sometimes melodramatic, which is why you should always be calm, cool, and collected. This may seem cliché but keep your emotions subdued as much as possible. You can reveal your feelings over time but don't think that a girl you still don't know that well is going to show you the level of sympathy that you might expect from a parent, sibling, or close friend. The last thing you want is a girl thinking to herself, 'Oh, this guy really can't keep it together. Is he going to lose it like this all the time?' Being the calm one can often create a nice dynamic between you two - the girl might lose her cool but you're the one to bring her back down. She may even grow to depend on that.
- Women like compliments. + Show Spoiler +This is both true and false. Little compliments every once in a while are nice, but playful teasing is also good. Any guy can give a girl a compliment, but (a) is it true or is he spouting it trying to impress her?, and (b) what guy would have the balls to make a negative remark? This usually works best if it is funny, but never get defensive if the joke doesn't land. General compliments are lame too; finer compliments are much better. “I like your sweater” is wayyyyy better than “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Pardon the hyperbole, but you get what I mean.
I apologize if it seems that I disrespect women; I do not. I merely think that girls are different as well as being highly predictable in a general sense. Every girl will deviate from the norm in small ways, but there will be 9 other ways in which she is exactly the same as the next girl.
Point #4: The Late Game
If you want to keep a girl interested in you for a long time you should always be conscious of your behavior so that you don’t all-of-a-sudden become unattractive again. Over time you should reveal more of yourself to the person, but that doesn’t mean that you should become some kind of a sappy pussy. That is a surefire way for a girl to lose interest. Girls can sometimes be fickle even very late into a relationship.
My philosophy is that there are 4 pillars to any relationship: Personality, Family, Sexuality, and Appearance. All of these things have to connect for a relationship to be worthwhile. If you are not satisfied with any of these avenues then you should reconsider what you are doing, especially if your end goal is marriage. I can not advocate people staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Hope all of this helps, and good luck.
Final Note: Remember throughout that you are not lying to get with a girl, nor should you be fake or self-conscious. When you are faking confidence, you are simply forcing yourself to conduct yourself a certain way until it comes naturally to you, kind of like learning build order in Starcraft. Honesty can only go so far until you develop a natural trust with someone over time, hence everything in Point #4. Being confident is not a negative thing, and getting there requires practice, believe it or not.
Note also that dating is not a 'game,' nor should you treat it like one. You should instead realize that it is much less serious or nerve-wracking than you might make it out to be in your head. Any references to 'game' that were made in this OP are metaphors relating to Starcraft terminology. This is a Starcraft-related site after all. i.e. By 'macro game' I mean general conduct around girls as opposed to dumbass tactics like one would see on Keys to the V.I.P. (an entertaining show with a few interesting points, but not necessarily how one should look at dating).
  
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A reverse girl blog? How refreshing :D
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recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.
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What if I want an actual girlfriend?
Presentation is nice and all, but if I have to fake things to become attractive to society, what happens when the charade is up? If you want a girlfriend but have to lie to get one in the process, it won't last.
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On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.
hahah wow, I would 5 star or "like" this comment if I could
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On December 22 2010 03:11 jambonkingcool wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend. hahah wow, I would 5 star or "like" this comment if I could
Hey Jambon! Long time no see! I missed you so much.
Will you be my girlfriend?
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On December 22 2010 03:16 LittleeD wrote:
Im fine alone, thank you
Then why would you come into a blog asking if you want a girlfriend?
Methinks thou doth commit the sin of bullshittery
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On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.
Oh god I lol'd..
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Papua New Guinea152 Posts
i dont buy into any of this sorry
if a girl cant handle my nerdy interests (starcraft included) and overall awesomeness
she doesnt deserve to be my girlfriend
that is all
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Faking confidence is not going to lead to more confidence. I used to work for a marketing company that sold incredibly expensive cutlery. In order to get an appointment we needed to call either a recommendation or a friend's parent. Either way, it was incredibly nerve-wracking. Their best advice to me was to stop thinking and just do it. Want to talk to women? Don't fake your confidence, just go over and do it. The more you do it, the more the confidence will rise.
An advice columnist said it best when he described "get out there" as "put yourself into as many rooms as possible". Want it to be less awkward? Go into special interest rooms. Does the woman want to play a game? Roll the dice if you want, but I prefer not playing any game which immediately sets me apart from all the other players out there. Do I get a new girlfriend every couple months? No. Are the girlfriends I get genuine, fantastic, and worth sifting through all the crap? Yep!
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how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty?
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On December 22 2010 03:09 SCC-Faust wrote:
What if I want an actual girlfriend?
Presentation is nice and all, but if I have to fake things to become attractive to society, what happens when the charade is up? If you want a girlfriend but have to lie to get one in the process, it won't last.
He's actually very right about everything. His point was that the little nerdling inside of you would eventually evolve into the charade after possibily tricking someone into liking you. Go out, meet people and don't awkwardly give your life or nervously call them pretty or some shit.
On December 22 2010 03:32 Kalingingsong wrote:
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty?
I have a rule that works in my city. if you ever call a girl a "crazy bitch" in anger, gtfo cause they a crazy bitch. For me it takes a special kind of something to break that wall but once its broken it's the beginning of the end. Other than that, if they are the weird ultra-hip-too-cool-for-anything-but-actually-cool kinda girl then iunno, you play hard to get while doing cool shit.
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On December 22 2010 03:21 qzmpwxno wrote:
i dont buy into any of this sorry
if a girl cant handle my nerdy interests (starcraft included) and overall awesomeness
she doesnt deserve to be my girlfriend
that is all
Indeed. This blog would be better titled as "How to: Get a female that will let you have sex with her on a regular basis."
I'm perfectly happy with the wonderful girlfriend I have, whom expresses a genuine interest in StarCraft and other games I play. A year ago she had no idea what StarCraft was, and now she's asking for a Handsome Nerd t-shirt for Christmas and having unbidden sexual dreams with Tasteless.
True story, Tasteless is stealing my girlfriend while she sleeps. He's a pretty man.
If you want to find a girlfriend who will last a while, talk to people but be honest with yourself and who you are. We're all deeper individuals than "I play video games", but that doesn't mean you have to hide that. If a girl is really interested in who you are as a person, she'll become interested in what you do on a daily basis. If your girlfriend doesn't care about your interests, hobbies, or passions then she's not even a friend; she's just a girl.
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Refreshing to see a female blog not complaining like a little bitch. ^_^
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aww how cute, a dating guide for nerds, by nerd!! These are almost as funny as girl blogs
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On December 22 2010 03:37 Hawk wrote:
aww how cute, a dating guide for nerds, by nerd!! These are almost as funny as girl blogs
A simple look at your post count and a click on your profile shows clear evidence that you yourself are a nerd sir. A stfu is in order i believe
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Hungary11262 Posts
On December 22 2010 03:29 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
Faking confidence is not going to lead to more confidence. I used to work for a marketing company that sold incredibly expensive cutlery. In order to get an appointment we needed to call either a recommendation or a friend's parent. Either way, it was incredibly nerve-wracking. Their best advice to me was to stop thinking and just do it. Want to talk to women? Don't fake your confidence, just go over and do it. The more you do it, the more the confidence will rise.
The analogy breaks down at the point where
a) is the confidence about the expensive cutlery you are selling
b) is the confidence about the product you represent yourself
a) is about a product you likely do not care about. b) is helpful as you go on in life and should feel good to the girl you're talking to as well. I mean, why would she like the product you're offering if you seem to despise it yourself. So a degree of confidence that does not slip into cockiness appears to be appropriate.
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I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick...
no point going for normal average ones... LIFT UP UR STANDARD GUYS AND INVEST IN YOURSELF A BIT...
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After reading this Im perfectly fine alone lol. But not every girl is a bitch like the op described them to be, maybe its a region thing.
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What is this, I came here expecting some sort of Christmas girlfriend giveaway, thinking that you had extra to spare, now my holiday season is ruined.
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On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick...
no point going for normal average ones... LIFT UP UR STANDARD GUYS AND INVEST IN YOURSELF A BIT...
More drivel.
Yes, if you're sexually attractive you can get laid. That's not a revelation.
Being sexually attractive doesn't make you less of a shallow, pathetic person. You can spend a couple hundred bucks for a one-night stand with a 10 and go back to being worthless the next day, or you can be yourself for the chance to have a real relationship with a 7.
If you think that an average looking girl is "below your standards", then you're an asshole and not fit for the standards of any girl with self-respect.
But guys like you don't like it when a girl has self-respect.
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On December 22 2010 03:32 Kalingingsong wrote:
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty?
Maybe I was a little vague. Women are NUTS. Specifically, without the exaggeration, women are not very rational in a sense that could be easily explained.
That doesn't mean that you can't love and get along with them, though. Just realize that there are things that you will have to deal with. When you opt not to play their games it gets a lot easier, even if it feels like you should. Eventually a girl's particular brand of 'crazy' may become endearing to you, and you learn how to handle their specific quirks. No one is perfect.
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The blog is good, this is good advice, and I can tell it's directed at those people who are like "no girls like me ;_;" but they never change what they are doing - we see it here with the people acting like the OP suggested they give up Starcraft for girls. Umm, no, the OP said to take your Starcraft passion and own it, be confident about it and don't hide it but just treat it as another hobby.
Except for the "you should be teasing her in equal amounts" stuff. That "negging" bullshit is just a poor man's way to appearing confident, and it's pretty manipulative. So long as you are willing to be playful in your talking with her you are fine, you don't have to be putting her down to make her feel like she has to prove herself.
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Hungary11262 Posts
On December 22 2010 03:58 TheGiz wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:32 Kalingingsong wrote:
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty? Maybe I was a little vague. Women are NUTS. + Show Spoiler +I think it's because mothers and friends raise girls all the same way that they are led to believe a lot of insane crap, kind of like cultists who don't understand that things don't actually work the way they were told. The female concepts of things like 'ethics' and 'effort' and 'logic' are just mind-bogglingly wrong. Remember also that boys are generally not spoiled or praised nearly as much as girls, so they are usually a lot more down to earth. That doesn't mean that you can't love and get along with them, though. Just realize that there are things that you will have to deal with. When you opt not to play their games it gets a lot easier, even if it feels like you should. Eventually a girl's particular brand of 'crazy' may become endearing to you, and you learn how to handle their specific quirks.
Actually, despite kinda liking your OP, I have to disagree here. Women are rational from different premises. Those premises have to do with evolution, (constructed or not) gender, society, etc. etc. But their point of view is rational too and it causes certain ways of behaving.
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On December 22 2010 03:38 MiniRoman wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:37 Hawk wrote:
aww how cute, a dating guide for nerds, by nerd!! These are almost as funny as girl blogs A simple look at your post count and a click on your profile shows clear evidence that you yourself are a nerd sir. A stfu is in order i believe
e-gads! My post count sure refutes my point that this is still a really dumb blog!~
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God, this reeks of The Game by Neil Strauss, or the much outdated advice given by "Mystery" from "The Pick-up Artist."
Now I have nothing against Neil Strauss or Mystery, but damn... It's such outdated material it's laughable. Using mind-games and "tactics" to get women will not get you real confidence. You will constantly rely on tactics and routines. How about actually going out and learning to become a natural instead of being a nerd putting on a super-hero PICKUPMAN costume whenever you feel the need to get with a lady?
Being attractive to women shouldn't be something you do it should be something you are. And by using mind games and tactics, it's something you're doing, not something you are.
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Soooooooo.....
you are saying: "Don't be yourself."
IMO not worth it.
Most guys with a nice girlfriends are huge douchebags and most couples in general are extremely annoying and boring. My advice if you really want a girlfriend is: "be a douchebag".
But then again, I prefer being alone regardless
(I am a douchebag)
In general I dislike these "girl advice" blogs as they suggest you should think of your social life and love life as a game. As gamers shouldn't we best know that games aren't real.
I also find it funny that it's always guys with girlfriends who make these "how to score a chick" threads, I seriously doubt that most single guys here are desperate for a girlfriend.
somekinda underlying superiority complex/alfa male/veiled brag thing
( see? I am a douchebag)
On December 22 2010 03:54 besiger wrote:
What is this, I came here expecting some sort of Christmas girlfriend giveaway, thinking that you had extra to spare, now my holiday season is ruined.
Yeah, I was half expecting some Steam 75% off MailOrderBrides or something like that.
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Thanks, Giz. Most OPs are too soft, I'm glad I came in here to find someone whipping out the hard truth and shoving it down our throats. Lots of times people get all excited about girl blogs, but they end up jerking around and then it just blows up right in their faces before they can ever penetrate the real issues. That said, some people will find some of your suggestions hard to swallow. See, men rarely follow good advice. They view them selves as some sort of psychology master, baiting girls and then reeling them in, when in reality they just limp around, blowing wads of cash on girls who don't care about them. I'm more like Giz, all about consistency. I had tons of sex in high school, to the point where my friends nicknamed me, "you late?" cause I was always making sure my girlfriends weren't pregnant. It was enough to make my head swell. Man, those girls were so full of spunk, I miss those days. Anyways, thanks again for this huge load of information.
- E. Jack "You Late?" McCoy
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Point #4:
- Be really, really, rich. This helps shallow women see how awesome you are - and since all women are shallow, you'll be awesome to every woman!
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be nerd
finish university
get good career
You are now no longer searching, women will be looking for you.
At that point, you can either lower your standards or wait for the perfect woman. Waiting 5 extra years might pay off considering how insane women are these days about divorcing and shit.
Do not let a woman drag you down and ruin your education because they will cost a lot of money, regardless if they buy their own stuff.
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On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick...
no point going for normal average ones... LIFT UP UR STANDARD GUYS AND INVEST IN YOURSELF A BIT...
Yea, women are objects! Anything under a eight is spoiled goods
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On December 22 2010 03:46 Aesop wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:29 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
Faking confidence is not going to lead to more confidence. I used to work for a marketing company that sold incredibly expensive cutlery. In order to get an appointment we needed to call either a recommendation or a friend's parent. Either way, it was incredibly nerve-wracking. Their best advice to me was to stop thinking and just do it. Want to talk to women? Don't fake your confidence, just go over and do it. The more you do it, the more the confidence will rise. The analogy breaks down at the point where a) is the confidence about the expensive cutlery you are selling b) is the confidence about the product you represent yourself a) is about a product you likely do not care about. b) is helpful as you go on in life and should feel good to the girl you're talking to as well. I mean, why would she like the product you're offering if you seem to despise it yourself. So a degree of confidence that does not slip into cockiness appears to be appropriate.
That's reading a bit too much into the analogy. Here's the point I tried to make:
At my old job we had to cold-call people we hardly knew. Instead of viewing it as selling a product and how we feel about it (what we were supposed to do) myself and most new coworkers saw each rejection as a personal rejection. Management wisely gave us the "just do it" advice on the fly, but when they had time they would sit us down in meetings and personally compliment each of us and have us do the same to each other.
I should also note that I'm separating self-confidence (being yourself and truly believing in all its positive merits) and confidence in your abilities to strike up a random conversation with a stranger to see where it leads..
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Actually, despite kinda liking your OP, I have to disagree here. Women are rational from different premises. Those premises have to do with evolution, (constructed or not) gender, society, etc. etc. But their point of view is rational too and it causes certain ways of behaving.
agreed, evolution actually treated human men fairly well i'd have to say. At least we aren't in the same situation as certain insects: risking death just to have sex and the chances of banging the queen is literally like 1 in 100,000. I wonder if male insects would complain if they could talk.
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On December 22 2010 02:53 TheGiz wrote:
Point #2: Dealing with BansheesWomen.
All of the self-augmenting you’ve done should at least get you over the hurdles of meeting and talking to women. Dating them is no different, because confidence is really all that matters. Sure there are tactics here and there that help, but what you really want to focus on is the macro game. Here’s a few points:
- Women like to play games. Try to spot them ahead of time and nip them in the bud. Call them out on it too – women like to be challenged.
- Women do not make the rules. Do your best to never appear needy, whether you’ve been dating 3 times or 3 years. Remember that if you’re looking for someone to spend your time with, she is under just as much scrutiny as you are, and should be working for your affection too.
- Women like to talk about themselves. I’d say that most conversations with a girl should consist of her giving 70% or more of the information. This goes again with the her trying to get you aspect.
- Women like to be serious, which is why you should always be calm, cool, and collected. This may seem cliché but keep your emotions subdued as much as possible.
- Women like compliments. <- This is deliberately false. Little compliments every once in a while are fine, but you should be teasing her in equal amounts. Note that general compliments are lame and finer compliments are better. “I like your sweater” is wayyyyy better than “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Pardon the hyperbole, but you get what I mean.
I apologize if it seems that I disrespect women; I do not. I merely think that girls are different as well as being highly predictable in a general sense.
I personally don't agree with a lot of this. You cannot group all women together and assume that it's right about every single one, like you're doing here.
- Not all Women like to play games. Yeah, I know quite a few girls who are all about the chase, and once they've got what they want, they don't want it anymore. Or they're just involved in their games, their mind, they don't care much for anyone else but themselves.
- Women do enjoy talking about themselves, but if you want a real relationship, talking just as much as she does is good. Yeah, there are times she'll talk more than you, when she's upset or has this awesome thing to say, and there are times you'll talk more than her for the same reasons. But it shouldn't ever be a 70/30 split for how much you contribute to a conversation.
- You don't NEED to be "calm, cool and collected." If you're unhappy and feeling bad, tell your girlfriend. Tell a girl you're close to. If a girl knows you're willing to share these things with you, she'll immediately feel closer to you, because you're opening up to her. It makes her feel good, to know you trust her with your feelings. Girls don't want to date guys who show no emotion and have no emotional reaction to anything.
- I personally ADORE compliments, and they make me giggle and blush. I love them. It shows me that my boyfriend(whom gives me plenty of them) cares. But I also return them and give him lots too. It shows him I think just of highly as him as well. Little compliments are great when you're just starting to talk to a girl, but if you really want her, you need to let her know, even if it's just once in a while, that she does have a great personality, and she's beautiful, if you think she is. Don't lie to her though. You won't live after that. ^_~
I think looking at girls in a general sense is kind of looking at a rainbow with a general sense. Something like, "well, they're all kinda dark."
You can't really do it. I mean, every girl in the world will share a few similar qualities and predictable aspects, but not the ones you listed.
=/
Edit: If you ARE looking for a girlfriend over the Holiday season..
- Dress nice. If you're used to wearing t-shirts and plain jeans, get a few pair of darker jeans, maybe a pair of vans canvas shoes(they're slip on, comfy, and can be worn almost anywhere), and a v-neck(which is still a t-shirt) or a simple cardigan. Get a hair cut and get your facial hair nicely trimmed.
- Be yourself. If you have a problem, and you're friends with a girl, and you feel like you want to talk, ask her if she doesn't mind. If you like her, and you think she might like you, take her out for dinner and tell her. If you're not sure, bring it up. A girl is only as honest and will only show as many feelings as you will.
These are things that every girl will appreciate. Every girl who is sane, of course. ^_~
Maybe i'll write a blog post about this.. bahaha.
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On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick...
Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive.
What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two.
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On December 22 2010 05:44 Arkansassy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick... Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive. What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should to be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two.
I 100% agree with this. (:
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Since I deal with math a lot I will use a math analogy to explain my understanding of confidence. You start a math problem by figuring out some very simple calculations that help you figure out the big picture. If you are not confident, you will distrust your preliminary calculations and in turn not support yourself in the larger calculations, which often causes distrust and second guessing which usually means incorrect answers. Thus it is really important to have, or your losing trust in all things you know from the git-go.
Cocky is another thing, its like jumping into a problem thinking you are an utter math boss and skipping steps and not even re-examining your work because why would you be wrong?
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this blog is gold great job ! <--- is this compliment alright ?
yea and MOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAr blogs
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Here's what I gained from this thread
Shave.
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.
Im fine alone, thank you
Indeed. This blog would be better titled as "How to: Get a female that will let you have sex with her on a regular basis."
I do need to shave more frequently.
Cool phones are pretty important. I don't need one though :/
I am fine alone.
@OP You seem to want us to get into a relationship with someone we could not see marrying
You say stuff like
Girls can sometimes be fickle even very late into a relationship.
Which indicate you expect more relationships.
@aesop
On December 22 2010 04:11 Aesop wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:58 TheGiz wrote:On December 22 2010 03:32 Kalingingsong wrote:
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty? Maybe I was a little vague. Women are NUTS. + Show Spoiler +I think it's because mothers and friends raise girls all the same way that they are led to believe a lot of insane crap, kind of like cultists who don't understand that things don't actually work the way they were told. The female concepts of things like 'ethics' and 'effort' and 'logic' are just mind-bogglingly wrong. Remember also that boys are generally not spoiled or praised nearly as much as girls, so they are usually a lot more down to earth. That doesn't mean that you can't love and get along with them, though. Just realize that there are things that you will have to deal with. When you opt not to play their games it gets a lot easier, even if it feels like you should. Eventually a girl's particular brand of 'crazy' may become endearing to you, and you learn how to handle their specific quirks. Actually, despite kinda liking your OP, I have to disagree here. Women are rational from different premises. Those premises have to do with evolution, (constructed or not) gender, society, etc. etc. But their point of view is rational too and it causes certain ways of behaving.
Yeah I have to agree with Aesop here, your OP was fine but most girls are pretty rational.. and some of the nutty ones are fun :D
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Fake it until it comes naturally huh... lol I enjoyed that.
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On December 22 2010 05:44 Arkansassy wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick... Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive. What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two.
Both are important, but in slightly different ways. Obviously, all the mental stuff, personality/intelligence, etc, is far more important in the long run, and will be what really holds a relationship together.
Looks, however, will get you noticed from across the room.
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On December 24 2010 09:21 Haemonculus wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 05:44 Arkansassy wrote:On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick... Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive. What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two. Both are important, but in slightly different ways. Obviously, all the mental stuff, personality/intelligence, etc, is far more important in the long run, and will be what really holds a relationship together. Looks, however, will get you noticed from across the room.
Yep. Need the bait, and that's why presentation is so important.
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On December 22 2010 03:17 TheAntZ wrote:Then why would you come into a blog asking if you want a girlfriend? Methinks thou doth commit the sin of bullshittery
It's a rare occurrence someone makes a guide on getting a gf on TL.
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On December 22 2010 03:18 `Zapdos wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend. Oh god I lol'd..
lol can sum1 explain the joke to me? 
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On December 24 2010 11:50 Subversion wrote:Show nested quote +On December 22 2010 03:18 `Zapdos wrote:On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend. Oh god I lol'd.. lol can sum1 explain the joke to me?
Methinks this should make all clear to you: http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=178358
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i like your post op.
however time and time again i simply fail at getting that one girl i want. they either lose interest or just stop talking to me.
im not exactly looking for advice here, but since you seem like you know what you are saying, maybe you can help me out.
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Oh man. Laughed so hard at the forever a drone picture that I nearly spat my drink out my nose.
I have a girlfriend. She complains about how much I play Starcraft, really throws off my macro.
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My advice for dressing nice: If you've got some girlfriends, USE THEM!! Mine call themselves my professional shoppers and dress me sexy for the ladies. I would also like to tell people not to lower their standards, no matter what people tell you! OP's got good advice.
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Off topic, and not to nitpick, but there are two #2 points.
And I think something should also be said about being ready for a girlfriend versus wanting one just because you're lonely. Most of the "augmenting self" issues deal revolve around one primary issue: most nerds/socially awkward people are too young or immature to be confident. You have to know yourself first before you can ever be confident about yourself. And I don't just mean wallow in self pity thinking that you're not worthy--that's not figuring yourself out. Try to go get some outside feedback and I think you'd be mildly surprised. That and you'll develop your social skills.
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Been there, done that, found out women lose all interest as soon as i say "I'm a Programmer".
Well, i stopped caring, had a GF for 5 1/2 years, should be enough for the remainder of my life.
It's just funny how similar those hints always are... "hey, look good and go out to talk with girls"... uhm, yes... so whats new?
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I think OPs guide is decent for someone sociofobic. They'd probably find a girl if they followed the guide.
The real girls that you want to be with cannot be trolled, they'll appear eventually, and when they do everything will blossom with chemistry. In all my previous relationships I've met the girls at the most craziest circumstances.
It's most important for you to appeal, if you're interested in someone you shouldn't stay away.
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My take on this topic: be nice to her and then ignore her. But not like flat out ignore her to her face. "Forget" to text back and be "too busy" to pick up her calls, every now and then
It makes you seem interested, but distant and mysterious... it drives a girl crazy.
...But then again, girls are fcking crazy.
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Made a few edits to the OP for clarity.
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On December 24 2010 09:54 Cedstick wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2010 09:21 Haemonculus wrote:On December 22 2010 05:44 Arkansassy wrote:On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick... Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive. What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two. Both are important, but in slightly different ways. Obviously, all the mental stuff, personality/intelligence, etc, is far more important in the long run, and will be what really holds a relationship together. Looks, however, will get you noticed from across the room. Yep. Need the bait, and that's why presentation is so important.
That's why you don't get girls ^-^ ♥
Just kidding~!!! ♥♥♥
On December 24 2010 21:18 bebejugga wrote:
My take on this topic: be nice to her and then ignore her. But not like flat out ignore her to her face. "Forget" to text back and be "too busy" to pick up her calls, every now and then
It makes you seem interested, but distant and mysterious... it drives a girl crazy.
...But then again, girls are fcking crazy.
Yeah, it drives a girl crazy because she thinks you're not interested. If you're not interested, she'll get moody around you, and usually give up.
If you're interested in a girl, tell her. :/ Playing games with her is going to make her hate you. ;o
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Nice blog, yes I like this kind of change after 100000000000 "girl left me QQ" blogs.
I don't entirely agree with the OP, but I'd say on the lines of generality, those are good advices. Of course, every case and every encounter is unique so it's really up to how naturally suitable the two people are. I'd like to add that the guy should develop one or two skills that puts them way above the rest of the pack (and this should not be about 600apm on bnet). Stuff like musical virtuosity, athletic prowess, and driving skills (yes some men drive manlier than other men) really helps. A girl wants a man that she can brag about to other girls.
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OK so. I'm in the mood to respond to the OP for some reason. Just my personal take on things posted in the recent trend of girl-advice blogs. Also I'm crazy fucking super blown out right now, so hopefully this will be all like self-psycho-analysis helpfulish? Anyway, here we go:
On December 22 2010 02:53 TheGiz wrote:
Point #1: Augment yourself.
Being ‘attractive’ has nothing to do with your overall physical appearance as far as inherited beauty goes. It only has to do with presentation, both on the level of personality and personal maintenance. Note that you do not have to change who you are, you merely have to augment yourself. Who you are is what makes you unique and interesting, but if it presented wrong then it might work against you.
There *are some* aspects of physical attraction that really do boil down to your physical body. We can be just as shallow as you guys in that regard. But you're absolutely right that very simple maintenance can make any guy look pretty sharp.
Appearance:Sharpen up your wardrobe a little and bring things within the realm of the normal, but according to your personal preferences. Get a good haircut. Wash yourself. Shave. These are simple little things that go a long way. They prevent your otherwise great self from being hampered by correctable turn-offs.
This seems like life advice, not specific to attracting anyone. Why would you *not* do these things? (not necessarily shave like totally, but just... take care of yourself? lots of guys look awesome with facial hair, but don't let it just go nuts)
Weight:Let me give a brief special mention to weight. If you are rail-thin or over-weight, the most important thing for now is to not be self-conscious about it. Even if you are, fake that you aren’t (more on that later), a don't be defensive about it. You should probably work out if only for the future, but don’t think you need to be juiced or anything.
Pretty solid just life general advice, yay
Personality:Now let’s talk about augmenting your personality. You do not have to be a different person. Be yourself, but just be a more confident you. Carry your head higher (literally put your shoulders back more and stand up straight) and focus on having a self-sure facial expression. All I mean is don’t look slouchy or sad - no one wants to hang around with a downer. Women respond to confidence, and appearing confident is the first step to being confident. If you are not confident then just fake it until you make it. By making conscious attempts to appear a little more bold and sure of yourself than you normally would be, it will eventually come naturally to you and feel natural as well. It all comes down to practice. Don’t be cocky though.
Confidence is huge. Sort of the stereotypical advice, "be confident", but really it's pretty huge. Dunno how i feel about like "over-acting" at first to alter your passive behavior? I suppose that could work, just like, don't overdo it?
And then confidence is like many things. How you physically carry yourself and your body is one part, and then how you hold yourself in conversation is another.
Interests/Nerdiness:Let me also talk about things like your interests and how you present them. It is ok to like something, but don’t make it seem like that thing rules you, and for the love of God don’t be ashamed of it either. Be confident about your interests and the reasons you like them, but don’t dwell on things that other people themselves are not interested in, and don’t guilt people for not liking them either. (i.e. My girlfriend will never understand the awesomeness that is Star Wars or StarCraft, but I’m not going to jam it down her throat.)
Definitely don't be ashamed of your interests... but yeah don't like overly put them up? I dunno can't speak for everyone but a lot of non-gamer girls would probably find it a bit weird.
Point #2: Get out there.
No one will ever get much sitting on their ass, so it’s time to go trolling. And I’m talking about fishing trolling, not Internet trolling. The more lines in the water that one has, the more chances they have of catching fish. Women are fish, there are plenty out there, you just have to be out there too.
Pokemon and a fish, I suppose this makes me a goldeen?
Um yeah again this is obvious life advice. Jobs don't come to your door, friends don't appear in your room, etc.
Socialize: Socializing is a massive aspect to getting dates and dating. If you really want to meet people it’s simply a matter of socializing as much as humanly possible. Go out with friends, walk around the mall, do activities in groups (exercise classes, w/e). Take the opportunity to talk to many many people, especially women, and don’t hesitate to ask for a number or two.
Yah again, you meet people through people/activities. General life advice. Good advice of course, lol.
Dealing with Anxiety:
Fear is a major inhibitor of attracting people, which is why confidence and frequency is key. You simply have to get over your fear of women by talking to them, and realize that rejection is just like losing on the Ladder; it happens, get over it. Think about it – when you first started laddering you were probably scared to death, but after 150+ games I’ll bet that you aren’t too scared of playing another one, are you? Imagine you talked to the same amount of women in that time; the fear would be gone too.
dunno the way you wrote this sort of makes it feel intended for basement dwelling folk or something. But yeah again just good solid advice.
Point #3: Dealing with BansheesWomen.
All of the self-augmenting you’ve done should at least get you over the hurdles of meeting and talking to women. Dating them is no different, because confidence is really all that matters. Sure there are tactics here and there that help, but what you really want to focus on is the macro game. Here’s a few points:
ok
- Women like to play games. Some women, through no fault of their own other than how they were raised or what they've been told in life, tend to jerk you around a little (not responding to attempts at communication, jealousy plays, being unavailable, etc).Try to spot these games ahead of time and nip them in the bud. Call them out on it too – women like to be challenged, and it will also prevent them from doing similar things in the future.
Fffffffffff.......
...
-.-;;;;;
...
yeah this is pretty accurate. actually this is really solid advice imho.
- Women do not make the rules. Do your best to never appear needy, whether you’ve been dating 3 times or 3 years. Remember that if you’re looking for someone to spend your time with, she is under just as much scrutiny as you are, and should be working for your affection too. Don't be a 'puppy dog' and do all kinds of shit for her. Favors are nice, but only if they are acknowledged, appreciated, and reciprocated.
Pretty good advice that can be applied to any relationship, romantic or not.
- Women like to talk about themselves. I’d say that most conversations with a girl should consist of her giving 70% or more of the information. This goes again with the her trying to get you aspect.That is not to say that you should be doing 30% of the talking, just that the conversation should be about her or something that she is interested in most of the time. You don't want to talk too much about yourself right away because it will take away the mystery and you'll be left bare and uninteresting. Generic topics about which you have mutual interest is always good.
Wha... really? Opposite for me, but w/e, I'm weird.
- Don't be emotional. Women like to be serious and sometimes melodramatic, which is why you should always be calm, cool, and collected. This may seem cliché but keep your emotions subdued as much as possible. You can reveal your feelings over time but don't think that a girl you still don't know that well is going to show you the level of sympathy that you might expect from a parent, sibling, or close friend. The last thing you want is a girl thinking to herself, 'Oh, this guy really can't keep it together. Is he going to lose it like this all the time?' Being the calm one can often create a nice dynamic between you two - the girl might lose her cool but you're the one to bring her back down. She may even grow to depend on that.
Mmm.... moderation in all things? Overall this is really good advice. I mean, if something is bothering you, or really stressing on you, sharing a bit is a great show of trust. (trying not to burden her of course)
But you are very right. If she has a crisis, and *you* remain calm, fix things, help her through it, etc, you have earned major points. Maaajor points!
- Women like compliments. This is both true and false. Little compliments every once in a while are nice, but playful teasing is also good. Any guy can give a girl a compliment, but (a) is it true or is he spouting it trying to impress her?, and (b) what guy would have the balls to make a negative remark? This usually works best if it is funny, but never get defensive if the joke doesn't land. General compliments are lame too; finer compliments are much better. “I like your sweater” is wayyyyy better than “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Pardon the hyperbole, but you get what I mean.
Yup. Though avoiding absurdly over-the-top compliments like that should be obvious, lol. Dunno, maybe after sex or something it'd be cheesily appropriate.
I apologize if it seems that I disrespect women; I do not. I merely think that girls are different as well as being highly predictable in a general sense. Every girl will deviate from the norm in small ways, but there will be 9 other ways in which she is exactly the same as the next girl.
Same can be said for guys, so no offense taken, lol.
Point #4: The Late Game
If you want to keep a girl interested in you for a long time you should always be conscious of your behavior so that you don’t all-of-a-sudden become unattractive again. Over time you should reveal more of yourself to the person, but that doesn’t mean that you should become some kind of a sappy pussy. That is a surefire way for a girl to lose interest. Girls can sometimes be fickle even very late into a relationship.
My philosophy is that there are 4 pillars to any relationship: Personality, Family, Sexuality, and Appearance. All of these things have to connect for a relationship to be worthwhile. If you are not satisfied with any of these avenues then you should reconsider what you are doing, especially if your end goal is marriage. I can not advocate people staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Well I suppose "sappy pussy" is something to avoid in general, so... yeah don't do that? Also you won't become unattractive overnight, things usually fall apart over time. And she might be hesitant to bring up her concerns with you, especially if you seem like you might not take the news well.
Hope all of this helps, and good luck.
Final Note: Remember throughout that you are not lying to get with a girl, nor should you be fake or self-conscious. When you are faking confidence, you are simply forcing yourself to conduct yourself a certain way until it comes naturally to you, kind of like learning build order in Starcraft. Honesty can only go so far until you develop a natural trust with someone over time, hence everything in Point #4. Being confident is not a negative thing, and getting there requires practice, believe it or not.
Note also that dating is not a 'game,' nor should you treat it like one. You should instead realize that it is much less serious or nerve-wracking than you might make it out to be in your head. Any references to 'game' that were made in this OP are metaphors relating to Starcraft terminology. This is a Starcraft-related site after all. i.e. By 'macro game' I mean general conduct around girls as opposed to dumbass tactics like one would see on Keys to the V.I.P. (an entertaining show with a few interesting points, but not necessarily how one should look at dating).
"the game" is just about sex though, yes? Obviously if you're just trying to get laid, a whole new set of approaches apply.
Anyway I hope that's some what informative? lol
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holy shit i got all the quotes right on the first try
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On December 22 2010 04:35 JackMcCoy wrote:
Thanks, Giz. Most OPs are too soft, I'm glad I came in here to find someone whipping out the hard truth and shoving it down our throats. Lots of times people get all excited about girl blogs, but they end up jerking around and then it just blows up right in their faces before they can ever penetrate the real issues. That said, some people will find some of your suggestions hard to swallow. See, men rarely follow good advice. They view them selves as some sort of psychology master, baiting girls and then reeling them in, when in reality they just limp around, blowing wads of cash on girls who don't care about them. I'm more like Giz, all about consistency. I had tons of sex in high school, to the point where my friends nicknamed me, "you late?" cause I was always making sure my girlfriends weren't pregnant. It was enough to make my head swell. Man, those girls were so full of spunk, I miss those days. Anyways, thanks again for this huge load of information.
- E. Jack "You Late?" McCoy
LOL this post is not getting enough love
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OP Max rank?
Can't just run this on ladder and see what happens cuz this ladder is real.
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I actually agree with a fair bit here, especially the points regarding addressing her games while she is doing them and remaining emotionally stable.
Every experience I've had with a girl in which she is doing some little game to test me and I point it out, ends up being positive. Not only do I feel it's a natural reaction but I just think it's good overall for the relationship, removes the bullshit from the beginning.
Also the point about remaining emotionally stable is solid. I also think this goes along with not pushing girls to do something they don't want to do. Not only is this disrespectful to the girl, but it shows that you are needy. I have learned to say "okay" to girls regardless of what happens, and I always feel that the situation turns out more positive than if I would have pushed or said no. Giving a girl the freedom to say no and reject you I think is good, not only does she feel comfortable and it makes the relationship more open, but it also shows again that you aren't needy.
Good blog indeed.
edit:
On December 25 2010 12:37 Haemonculus wrote:
holy shit i got all the quotes right on the first try
Nice lol
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To be honest, getting a girlfriend doesn't have anything to do with all that stuff
Either:
scenario 1: You live out your life, and bump into this chick whose personality matches yours so well that whatever you do and whoever you are is just already so damn perfect for her. Get together
scenario 2: You have to work on it a little bit here, but it stays simple. You ought to have at least ONE friend who knows a lot of girls around him. Call him up and tell him about how you want a girlfriend. He'll set you up
In scenario 2, you'll probably get burned on the first try. Your friend might make a little drinking gathering involving guys and girls who want the same thing, and you might have a hell of a time. He might bring you clubbing. In any case, he'll correct what's wrong about you. Listen to him, and follow his advice.
A little preview of what he'll probably say:
1. Improve your dress: old-fashionned trainers and simple hoodies isn't gonna get a girl to look at you. Wear casual but smart, like a blazer over a v-neck white plain t-shirt, Armani jeans, leather belt, All-star converse shoes. Cardigans and collar shirts work too. Even simpler, Ralph-Lauren Polo short-sleeves are great. Wear a nice watch.
2. Improve your style: shave, brush your teeth, use facial cleanser to increase skin quality, use toner, lotion. It not only smells good but also improves your skin quality like hell, and girls crave feeling guys' faces (only the face ... ? heheh) (actually girls and guys aren't that very different you know ..... ) Stylize your hair.
3. Smell good: wear perfume. Find one that suits you. There's a lot out there. Hugo Boss is among the favourites, but you also have Yves St Laurent, Gucci, Ck, Armani
4. Don't get drunk faster than her: Have fun while drinking. Crack jokes. Play games, tell interesting stories
All of the tips mentionned above is, before anything, a kind of respect to the girl you are approaching. Would you want some ugly, strangely dressed, sweat-smelling, pimple-faced freak of a girl to approach you and bore the hell out of you by babbling on an on about some bland topic? Well, it's the same thing with girls. Pay respect to their interest in guys, please.
And, as soon as you get your girl, then things will just work naturally. Don't worry too much about it. After all, it's just two human beings meeting together, right ?
And don't be afraid of making mistakes. Your grow by making mistakes, by getting burned.
Good Luck !
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On December 24 2010 16:44 Crankenstein wrote:
Oh man. Laughed so hard at the forever a drone picture that I nearly spat my drink out my nose.
I have a girlfriend. She complains about how much I play Starcraft, really throws off my macro.
This
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Did anyone else answer "no" when they saw the title? Girls can be a pain in the ass to deal with. They're fucking nuts. Not all of them, but enough where its a valid concern.
On December 25 2010 08:41 Raeleigh wrote:Show nested quote +On December 24 2010 09:54 Cedstick wrote:On December 24 2010 09:21 Haemonculus wrote:On December 22 2010 05:44 Arkansassy wrote:On December 22 2010 03:50 ilmman wrote:
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick... Most assuredly it doesn't hurt to present yourself well dressed and well groomed, but as soon as you open your (collective) mouth and come off as a dumb fuck, any "hot chick" worth having would laugh in your face. Intelligence is extremely attractive. What I totally agree with in the OP is that a man should be confident without being cocky; unfortunately, according to some of the responses, some men can't differentiate between the two. Both are important, but in slightly different ways. Obviously, all the mental stuff, personality/intelligence, etc, is far more important in the long run, and will be what really holds a relationship together. Looks, however, will get you noticed from across the room. Yep. Need the bait, and that's why presentation is so important. That's why you don't get girls ^-^ ♥ Just kidding~!!! ♥♥♥ Show nested quote +On December 24 2010 21:18 bebejugga wrote:
My take on this topic: be nice to her and then ignore her. But not like flat out ignore her to her face. "Forget" to text back and be "too busy" to pick up her calls, every now and then
It makes you seem interested, but distant and mysterious... it drives a girl crazy.
...But then again, girls are fcking crazy. Yeah, it drives a girl crazy because she thinks you're not interested. If you're not interested, she'll get moody around you, and usually give up. If you're interested in a girl, tell her. :/ Playing games with her is going to make her hate you. ;o
You keep giving advice on how to be the guy that girls always say they're looking for but never end up with even though they know 10 of them.
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If anyone has any friends who are girls on facebook then you might have noticed a trend of girls "liking" pages that read like this "love her, hold her, kiss her but if you make her fall then catch her." Kinda off topic but I just wanted to say that those things piss me off to no end because I'd be more than happy to do all those things but in reality the girl wouldn't give two shits about it. Even though they profess to like these traits they just end up being hypocritical.
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Is it just me, or is anybody else getting really tied of these "how to get girls" threads? I mean come on, you're telling other guys how to get girls over the internet. Seriously?
I'm not saying any of this is wrong. Hell, following the advice word-for-word will probably land you a girlfriend. Great. Here's the catch...
If you need information like this passed to you from random people over the internet then you're not ready for a relationship. I'm a pretty firm believer in dating solely when you've got the ability to stand up on your own two feet.
The problem here is if you don't have the ability to read women ( to some extent ) then following this thread isn't going to get you anywhere. Sure, maybe you'll get a girlfriend and FINALLY feel the warmth of a vagina but you won't survive the rest of the relationship.
There is no magical formula to get and keep a woman. You have the be able to read her. Your confidence and stoicism will only carry you so far. Basically, every single one of these threads is teaching guys how to cheese instead of learn how to actually play.
I wish I controlled the internet, because fuck, I'd shut down all of these threads.
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@ Abductedonut: You know what, people have the rights to get help, be it over the internet, or anywhere else. What is all this harshness about ? I sure am thankful as hell you don't own the internet, and I hope for god's sake you don't become a politician; there are enough morons wielding too much power as is now.
@decafchicken What ? Girls are nuts ? How more stereotpyical and generalized can you get ?
Remember that the sole reason you are there staring at your screen and reading this is because women exist in this world. Pay a minimum of respect to them.
There is so much you can learn through a relationship with a girl. I've learned so much from my exes, and I respect them even now. I just think you've been dating girls with perhaps low conscience and maturity, and that it might be time for you to change your taste toward the type of girls you meet, so that you can find the right one for you.
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Girls are nuts. It's true. Read the "lol women" blog. Doesn't mean we don't like them anyways.
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On January 26 2011 19:37 spkim1 wrote:
@ Abductedonut: You know what, people have the rights to get help, be it over the internet, or anywhere else. What is all this harshness about ? I sure am thankful as hell you don't own the internet, and I hope for god's sake you don't become a politician; there are enough morons wielding too much power as is now.
What gives you the impression that you're truly being "helped?"
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I actually agree with everything Abductedonut said. Having and keeping a quality girlfriend requires maturity as the number 1 thing, and I think threads like these try to persuade a guy into acting like someone they're not...
Hell, I still get the impression that half the people here miss meals because they're too lazy to stock their fridge with groceries every week, let alone press the 2 minute button on their microwave. Bachelor frog central. If you can't take care of yourself, what are the chances of you taking care of someone else? I think he said it perfectly with his analogy about cheesing. Winning a game with cheese and getting a girlfriend are similar, keeping her happy in the relationaship and winning a best of 7 is another. The moment she says yes, your fucked and its downhill until you can handle something of a respectable life for yourself. And the teamliquid Anons can't teach you that.
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honestly, having a gf is overrated. every single person i know in a relationship is miserable and just complains about how they want to fuck other people. the problem is, they're more scared of being single than they are of being fed up with their shitty relationship. especially when you are young, you should live it up. there is so much more to life than other relationships and dating.
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On January 27 2011 00:34 GG_NO_RE wrote:
honestly, having a gf is overrated. every single person i know in a relationship is miserable and just complains about how they want to fuck other people. the problem is, they're more scared of being single than they are of being fed up with their shitty relationship. especially when you are young, you should live it up. there is so much more to life than other relationships and dating.
same here...all my friends in relationships are consistently more upset than my single friends.
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EPT
