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Who here wants a girlfriend?

Blogs > TheGiz
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TheGiz
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada708 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-24 14:48:00
December 21 2010 17:53 GMT
#1
[image loading]
Forever a Drone?

I don’t think so, and I’m here to help. As usual, I base this on no professional expertise whatsoever, only on gathered knowledge, experience, wisdom, and a little opinion.

So if your Christmas Break seems like it’s going to be a little lonely, why not start down the path to gaining confidence and doing some quality dating? In the end you may end up with someone who fits you quite well, and you’ll also be having sex, which is nice.

Note: The idea here is to be able to meet and date girls who are halfway decent, not stuck in some niche where quality girls may be few and far between. The whole point of dating someone in the first place is a long interview process to see if they're a viable fit for the long term. Once the term 'girlfriend' has replaced 'dating,' you are then conducting an even longer interview process to see if that girl is a fit for something along the lines of marriage.

Point #1: Augment yourself.
Being ‘attractive’ has nothing to do with your overall physical appearance as far as inherited beauty goes. It only has to do with presentation, both on the level of personality and personal maintenance. Note that you do not have to change who you are, you merely have to augment yourself. Who you are is what makes you unique and interesting, but if it presented wrong then it might work against you.

Appearance:+ Show Spoiler +
Sharpen up your wardrobe a little and bring things within the realm of the normal, but according to your personal preferences. Get a good haircut. Wash yourself. Shave. These are simple little things that go a long way. They prevent your otherwise great self from being hampered by correctable turn-offs.

Weight:+ Show Spoiler +
Let me give a brief special mention to weight. If you are rail-thin or over-weight, the most important thing for now is to not be self-conscious about it. Even if you are, fake that you aren’t (more on that later), a don't be defensive about it. You should probably work out if only for the future, but don’t think you need to be juiced or anything.

Personality:+ Show Spoiler +
Now let’s talk about augmenting your personality. You do not have to be a different person. Be yourself, but just be a more confident you. Carry your head higher (literally put your shoulders back more and stand up straight) and focus on having a self-sure facial expression. All I mean is don’t look slouchy or sad - no one wants to hang around with a downer. Women respond to confidence, and appearing confident is the first step to being confident. If you are not confident then just fake it until you make it. By making conscious attempts to appear a little more bold and sure of yourself than you normally would be, it will eventually come naturally to you and feel natural as well. It all comes down to practice. Don’t be cocky though.

Interests/Nerdiness:+ Show Spoiler +
Let me also talk about things like your interests and how you present them. It is ok to like something, but don’t make it seem like that thing rules you, and for the love of God don’t be ashamed of it either. Be confident about your interests and the reasons you like them, but don’t dwell on things that other people themselves are not interested in, and don’t guilt people for not liking them either. (i.e. My girlfriend will never understand the awesomeness that is Star Wars or StarCraft, but I’m not going to jam it down her throat.)


Point #2: Get out there.
No one will ever get much sitting on their ass, so it’s time to go trolling. And I’m talking about fishing trolling, not Internet trolling. The more lines in the water that one has, the more chances they have of catching fish. Women are fish, there are plenty out there, you just have to be out there too.

Socialize:+ Show Spoiler +
Socializing is a massive aspect to getting dates and dating. If you really want to meet people it’s simply a matter of socializing as much as humanly possible. Go out with friends, walk around the mall, do activities in groups (exercise classes, w/e). Take the opportunity to talk to many many people, especially women, and don’t hesitate to ask for a number or two.

Dealing with Anxiety:
+ Show Spoiler +
Fear is a major inhibitor of attracting people, which is why confidence and frequency is key. You simply have to get over your fear of women by talking to them, and realize that rejection is just like losing on the Ladder; it happens, get over it. Think about it – when you first started laddering you were probably scared to death, but after 150+ games I’ll bet that you aren’t too scared of playing another one, are you? Imagine you talked to the same amount of women in that time; the fear would be gone too.


Point #3: Dealing with BansheesWomen.
All of the self-augmenting you’ve done should at least get you over the hurdles of meeting and talking to women. Dating them is no different, because confidence is really all that matters. Sure there are tactics here and there that help, but what you really want to focus on is the macro game. Here’s a few points:

- Women like to play games. + Show Spoiler +
Some women, through no fault of their own other than how they were raised or what they've been told in life, tend to jerk you around a little (not responding to attempts at communication, jealousy plays, being unavailable, etc).Try to spot these games ahead of time and nip them in the bud. Call them out on it too – women like to be challenged, and it will also prevent them from doing similar things in the future.

- Women do not make the rules. + Show Spoiler +
Do your best to never appear needy, whether you’ve been dating 3 times or 3 years. Remember that if you’re looking for someone to spend your time with, she is under just as much scrutiny as you are, and should be working for your affection too. Don't be a 'puppy dog' and do all kinds of shit for her. Favors are nice, but only if they are acknowledged, appreciated, and reciprocated.

- Women like to talk about themselves. + Show Spoiler +
I’d say that most conversations with a girl should consist of her giving 70% or more of the information. This goes again with the her trying to get you aspect.That is not to say that you should be doing 30% of the talking, just that the conversation should be about her or something that she is interested in most of the time. You don't want to talk too much about yourself right away because it will take away the mystery and you'll be left bare and uninteresting. Generic topics about which you have mutual interest is always good.

- Don't be emotional. + Show Spoiler +
Women like to be serious and sometimes melodramatic, which is why you should always be calm, cool, and collected. This may seem cliché but keep your emotions subdued as much as possible. You can reveal your feelings over time but don't think that a girl you still don't know that well is going to show you the level of sympathy that you might expect from a parent, sibling, or close friend. The last thing you want is a girl thinking to herself, 'Oh, this guy really can't keep it together. Is he going to lose it like this all the time?' Being the calm one can often create a nice dynamic between you two - the girl might lose her cool but you're the one to bring her back down. She may even grow to depend on that.

- Women like compliments. + Show Spoiler +
This is both true and false. Little compliments every once in a while are nice, but playful teasing is also good. Any guy can give a girl a compliment, but (a) is it true or is he spouting it trying to impress her?, and (b) what guy would have the balls to make a negative remark? This usually works best if it is funny, but never get defensive if the joke doesn't land. General compliments are lame too; finer compliments are much better. “I like your sweater” is wayyyyy better than “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Pardon the hyperbole, but you get what I mean.


I apologize if it seems that I disrespect women; I do not. I merely think that girls are different as well as being highly predictable in a general sense. Every girl will deviate from the norm in small ways, but there will be 9 other ways in which she is exactly the same as the next girl.

Point #4: The Late Game
If you want to keep a girl interested in you for a long time you should always be conscious of your behavior so that you don’t all-of-a-sudden become unattractive again. Over time you should reveal more of yourself to the person, but that doesn’t mean that you should become some kind of a sappy pussy. That is a surefire way for a girl to lose interest. Girls can sometimes be fickle even very late into a relationship.

My philosophy is that there are 4 pillars to any relationship: Personality, Family, Sexuality, and Appearance. All of these things have to connect for a relationship to be worthwhile. If you are not satisfied with any of these avenues then you should reconsider what you are doing, especially if your end goal is marriage. I can not advocate people staying in an unhealthy relationship.

Hope all of this helps, and good luck.

Final Note: Remember throughout that you are not lying to get with a girl, nor should you be fake or self-conscious. When you are faking confidence, you are simply forcing yourself to conduct yourself a certain way until it comes naturally to you, kind of like learning build order in Starcraft. Honesty can only go so far until you develop a natural trust with someone over time, hence everything in Point #4. Being confident is not a negative thing, and getting there requires practice, believe it or not.

Note also that dating is not a 'game,' nor should you treat it like one. You should instead realize that it is much less serious or nerve-wracking than you might make it out to be in your head. Any references to 'game' that were made in this OP are metaphors relating to Starcraft terminology. This is a Starcraft-related site after all. i.e. By 'macro game' I mean general conduct around girls as opposed to dumbass tactics like one would see on Keys to the V.I.P. (an entertaining show with a few interesting points, but not necessarily how one should look at dating).

***
Life is not about making due with what you have; it's about finding out just how much you can achieve. Never settle for anything less than the best. - - - Read my blog!
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
December 21 2010 17:56 GMT
#2
A reverse girl blog? How refreshing :D
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
Cube
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada777 Posts
December 21 2010 18:00 GMT
#3
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.
SCC-Faust
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3736 Posts
December 21 2010 18:09 GMT
#4
What if I want an actual girlfriend?

Presentation is nice and all, but if I have to fake things to become attractive to society, what happens when the charade is up? If you want a girlfriend but have to lie to get one in the process, it won't last.

I want to fuck Soulkey with a Zelderan.
jambonkingcool
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Canada186 Posts
December 21 2010 18:11 GMT
#5
On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.

hahah wow, I would 5 star or "like" this comment if I could
SCC-Faust
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3736 Posts
December 21 2010 18:14 GMT
#6
On December 22 2010 03:11 jambonkingcool wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.

hahah wow, I would 5 star or "like" this comment if I could


Hey Jambon! Long time no see! I missed you so much.

Will you be my girlfriend?
I want to fuck Soulkey with a Zelderan.
LittLeD
Profile Joined May 2010
Sweden7973 Posts
December 21 2010 18:16 GMT
#7
Im fine alone, thank you
☆Grubby ☆| Tod|DeMusliM|ThorZaiN|SaSe|Moon|Mana| ☆HerO ☆
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
December 21 2010 18:17 GMT
#8
On December 22 2010 03:16 LittleeD wrote:
Im fine alone, thank you


Then why would you come into a blog asking if you want a girlfriend?
Methinks thou doth commit the sin of bullshittery
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
`Zapdos
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States935 Posts
December 21 2010 18:18 GMT
#9
On December 22 2010 03:00 Cube wrote:
recent events would indicate that having a killer phone is also a very important part of getting (or at least keeping) a girlfriend.


Oh god I lol'd..
www.twitch.tv/thezapdos come watch me :]
qzmpwxno
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Papua New Guinea152 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-21 18:22:16
December 21 2010 18:21 GMT
#10
i dont buy into any of this sorry
if a girl cant handle my nerdy interests (starcraft included) and overall awesomeness
she doesnt deserve to be my girlfriend
that is all
Stand on one block but own the whole street~
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-21 18:30:13
December 21 2010 18:29 GMT
#11
Faking confidence is not going to lead to more confidence. I used to work for a marketing company that sold incredibly expensive cutlery. In order to get an appointment we needed to call either a recommendation or a friend's parent. Either way, it was incredibly nerve-wracking. Their best advice to me was to stop thinking and just do it. Want to talk to women? Don't fake your confidence, just go over and do it. The more you do it, the more the confidence will rise.

An advice columnist said it best when he described "get out there" as "put yourself into as many rooms as possible". Want it to be less awkward? Go into special interest rooms. Does the woman want to play a game? Roll the dice if you want, but I prefer not playing any game which immediately sets me apart from all the other players out there. Do I get a new girlfriend every couple months? No. Are the girlfriends I get genuine, fantastic, and worth sifting through all the crap? Yep!
Kalingingsong
Profile Joined September 2009
Canada633 Posts
December 21 2010 18:32 GMT
#12
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty?
Dess.JadeFalcon
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-21 18:37:28
December 21 2010 18:33 GMT
#13
On December 22 2010 03:09 SCC-Faust wrote:
What if I want an actual girlfriend?

Presentation is nice and all, but if I have to fake things to become attractive to society, what happens when the charade is up? If you want a girlfriend but have to lie to get one in the process, it won't last.



He's actually very right about everything. His point was that the little nerdling inside of you would eventually evolve into the charade after possibily tricking someone into liking you. Go out, meet people and don't awkwardly give your life or nervously call them pretty or some shit.

On December 22 2010 03:32 Kalingingsong wrote:
how do we deal with the fact that a lot of women these days seem kinda nutty?


I have a rule that works in my city. if you ever call a girl a "crazy bitch" in anger, gtfo cause they a crazy bitch. For me it takes a special kind of something to break that wall but once its broken it's the beginning of the end. Other than that, if they are the weird ultra-hip-too-cool-for-anything-but-actually-cool kinda girl then iunno, you play hard to get while doing cool shit.
Nak Allstar.
Zerokaiser
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada885 Posts
December 21 2010 18:33 GMT
#14
On December 22 2010 03:21 qzmpwxno wrote:
i dont buy into any of this sorry
if a girl cant handle my nerdy interests (starcraft included) and overall awesomeness
she doesnt deserve to be my girlfriend
that is all



Indeed. This blog would be better titled as "How to: Get a female that will let you have sex with her on a regular basis."

I'm perfectly happy with the wonderful girlfriend I have, whom expresses a genuine interest in StarCraft and other games I play. A year ago she had no idea what StarCraft was, and now she's asking for a Handsome Nerd t-shirt for Christmas and having unbidden sexual dreams with Tasteless.

True story, Tasteless is stealing my girlfriend while she sleeps. He's a pretty man.


If you want to find a girlfriend who will last a while, talk to people but be honest with yourself and who you are. We're all deeper individuals than "I play video games", but that doesn't mean you have to hide that. If a girl is really interested in who you are as a person, she'll become interested in what you do on a daily basis. If your girlfriend doesn't care about your interests, hobbies, or passions then she's not even a friend; she's just a girl.
Lanaia is love.
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
December 21 2010 18:34 GMT
#15
Refreshing to see a female blog not complaining like a little bitch. ^_^
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
December 21 2010 18:37 GMT
#16
aww how cute, a dating guide for nerds, by nerd!! These are almost as funny as girl blogs
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
December 21 2010 18:38 GMT
#17
On December 22 2010 03:37 Hawk wrote:
aww how cute, a dating guide for nerds, by nerd!! These are almost as funny as girl blogs


A simple look at your post count and a click on your profile shows clear evidence that you yourself are a nerd sir. A stfu is in order i believe
Nak Allstar.
Aesop
Profile Joined October 2007
Hungary11305 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-21 18:47:29
December 21 2010 18:46 GMT
#18
On December 22 2010 03:29 Servius_Fulvius wrote:
Faking confidence is not going to lead to more confidence. I used to work for a marketing company that sold incredibly expensive cutlery. In order to get an appointment we needed to call either a recommendation or a friend's parent. Either way, it was incredibly nerve-wracking. Their best advice to me was to stop thinking and just do it. Want to talk to women? Don't fake your confidence, just go over and do it. The more you do it, the more the confidence will rise.

The analogy breaks down at the point where

a) is the confidence about the expensive cutlery you are selling
b) is the confidence about the product you represent yourself

a) is about a product you likely do not care about. b) is helpful as you go on in life and should feel good to the girl you're talking to as well. I mean, why would she like the product you're offering if you seem to despise it yourself. So a degree of confidence that does not slip into cockiness appears to be appropriate.
ModeratorNon veritas sed auctoritas facit legem. | Liquipedia: Don't ask me, I'm retired.
ilmman
Profile Joined September 2010
364 Posts
December 21 2010 18:50 GMT
#19
I gurantee you, if you invest in an expensive haircut (lets say around $100), have decent weight and you wear FASHIONABLE clothes .... then you will have no problem scoring a hot chick...

no point going for normal average ones... LIFT UP UR STANDARD GUYS AND INVEST IN YOURSELF A BIT...
crappen
Profile Joined April 2010
Norway1546 Posts
December 21 2010 18:52 GMT
#20
After reading this Im perfectly fine alone lol. But not every girl is a bitch like the op described them to be, maybe its a region thing.
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