|
So, I figured I'd post a blogpost about my life, since I spend a lot of time reading about others here.
I am 19 from Sweden, I am doing my last year in school, I've also redone a year due to too many failing classes. This is one of my biggest concerns in my life.
Even though it's the last year of school, I don't feel motivated to do my assignments, it's like a mental block. It's a miracle I've made it to this point, I've spent most of my school life doing the assignment on the last day, extremely crudely made. The only grade I've ever had more than a G in (equivalment to C) is English, due to my natural gaming genes.
It's not that I'm lazy, I often do whatever I put my mind to, like working out, taking care of myself. Helping out at home. I've also worked at a job without any problem(probably because working feels more rewarding).
I literally CAN'T help myself start working in school. I lie in bed one day and say to myself "tomorrow I'm gonna study all day, pick it all up where I'm behind". The next day I end up doing something else, playing SC2, watching movies. The only time I feel I can study is when it's the last day before the assignment is supposed to go in. And I'm often found clueless at tests, which leads to extra work I have to do on my free time.
I feel apathetic and the fear of failing school kinda kicks in my stomach. I feel no sense of reward in school, the school I go to is horrid, it's been on the verge of shutting down multiple times. The school is swarming with racial issues. And it's like waking up every day and going to a dump where you are supposed to learn shit, but that rarely happens. Teachers are late and disorganised, I can't even remember how many times I've went to school and found out that one of my classes were cancelled upon my arrival...
How can I motivate myself to just do some work properly? I really want to know. Comparing myself with other people is making me feel bad.
My other life is also slipping. And by my other life I mean the thing I do on my free time. I'm losing the contact with many of my real life friends, and I have no motivation to pick up contact with them again. The other day I was going through my MSN list and was amazed cus I found people I hadn't talked with for years, even though knowing them quite well.
My ability to get toghether with girls is slipping, I used to find it quite easy to get toghether with someone, now my confidence is sipping away, and I am in fear of confrontations and failure. I gave up my last relationship due to anxiety over being unhappy, then she got herself some other guy, ironic huh...
I used to be really passionate about music, played a lot of guitar and was really going somewhere with my recordings, having a lot of help from friends and such. Felt good with my progress. But I have no motivation to play today. I bought a new guitar recently but I haven't put it to good use. My amp has been at a friends house since summer, because I don't really feel like picking it up...
My daily life has gone, from somewhat managing the day, enjoying social life, doing shit on my weekends, being atleast a bit happy of my progress in life, into spending most of my days alone, listening to tons of music, playing SC2, failing school, too tired to get a grip.
The only thing I'm really passionate about right now is playing Starcraft 2, because it gets my mind of anything else. I feel like a genius when I play Starcraft, and I've played way past my friends skill levels, to realize they don't even play anymore. If only I could take the passion and sprinkle some of it on the rest of my life.
I don't want to be one of those bloggers who says they quit their school/job in order to play SC2, to be honest.
Any advice?
Anxious guy out.
 
|
You have to get yourself together. You only go to school once, so once you finish, you're done with it. you can do whatever you want, like getting a job that feels more rewarding, and playing SC2 on your free time. Girls eventually come and go. And if you pickup some buddies in the weekend to go drink and talk, you'll feel much better the rest of the week.
|
On December 13 2010 10:59 DeegDip wrote:
You have to get yourself together. You only go to school once, so once you finish, you're done with it. you can do whatever you want, like getting a job that feels more rewarding, and playing SC2 on your free time. Girls eventually come and go. And if you pickup some buddies in the weekend to go drink and talk, you'll feel much better the rest of the week.
I might add that this period of my life has been going on for about 8 months...
|
sounds like me  ... i'll have my thyroid gland checked soon, cause "Hypothyroidism" can cause major demotivation.
but i think having to take medicine all life long sucks... maybe there's another way...
|
Sounds pretty horrible out there. :o
Maybe you should go take walk out side with a good friend and tell him about all that stuff that is going in your head. I mean that is what I do when I feel like that. I just go visit my friend, stay there for a night, play some games and when we finally end up in sauna we talk a lot stuff that we have both in our heads, stuff that i haven't shared with just anybody either.
To me, it seems you have lost the ''spark'' in life, you don't seem to have any real goal in life (I could be wrong, but that is just the image i got out of your post). Maybe you need a big change in your life or make up a super important goal for yorself in life, like helping as many people you can in your life time or go study biology to safe some animals from extinction.
You should also not forget that a lot of little good things in life adds up to large ball of good things, just try to be optimist and find positives from negatives stuff.
Hope this help. =)
|
I agree with Mehukannu. Sometimes you gotta just talk it out, preferably face to face with someone else. That's what friends are for :D
I'm sure you've heard plenty of this from other folks, but what you get out of life is all about your mindset. 'Course it helps to be optimistic but that's far easier said than done. Personally, I think you just need to find something you're passionate about. Something like Starcraft fills this role perfectly. You don't have to be one of those guys that drops everything else to play professionally. A hobby that you're truly interested in will really help mindset in everything else you do. You don't even have to get anywhere with whatever you choose. It can be enough just to say you're good at something and it gives you something to focus on with your life.
It sounds like you've already experienced this kind of thing before but people change over time. Maybe you've grown out of or gotten bored of your past interests. Just think happy thoughts. Also take the time to try out new activities. Might as well make the most of your time and, who knows? Maybe you'll find something you really enjoy.
=D
|
I was the same way... I met a girl that I liked, she dragged me around and showed me how to have fun. I could no longer play starcraft thinking about how I could be better spending my time with her.
I then found a study group. I'm studying with them now.
|
Thanks for the positive replies guys.
Felt good writing my mind. It's hard to think about change, since you're obviously gonna want to know what you want to change your life into. Kinda unpredictable. I feels like I'm being too naïve when I'm setting my goals for myself. It's also easy to lose track of them...
I'm gonna try talking to some people...
|
My best way to find motivation is generally to think really hard about my biggest short-term goals. For instance, I'm really hoping to get into a research internship program in Germany this summer, so whenever I'm tired and really just want to blow off my lab work, I think really hard about how great it would be if I got to do that, and I find the motivation to work hard again. Having a direction in life really helps to get work done.
That's just a suggestion from me, an inexperienced university student. Take my advice with a grain of salt But good luck with everything.
|
On December 13 2010 12:05 lakritzc wrote:
Thanks for the positive replies guys.
Felt good writing my mind. It's hard to think about change, since you're obviously gonna want to know what you want to change your life into. Kinda unpredictable. I feels like I'm being too naïve when I'm setting my goals for myself. It's also easy to lose track of them...
I'm gonna try talking to some people...
Be sure to tell us how you feel afterwards. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
