Yesterday was a bad day. I scored 20 percent above class average on an AP chem test to be yelled at. Epic failed at an unfair pop quiz, and brought my GPA down to 4.2. So sad inside, even made a sticky on my desktop to remind me to feel guilty every time I turn on my computer.
So I get home and go shit shit shit shit epic rage incoming from parents, and get straight to work. Work work work work work work.
I’m in the clear, I’m working on math at 9:30, I’m being told to go to bed (something I might actually do at 10:00 given the circumstances…) and
Both of my parents come out of their room off the grades website like Hussein bolt melted some large abombination from starship troopers. Or like some bull running at me, a brightly colored fail student. Except for two large horns, it was brandishing a disgusting quantity of bullshit to throw at me.
In any case, as soon as I heard the ominous pounding you only hear in lord of the rings, I knew I was fucked. I quickly closed Wikipedia windows (I waste all my time there, you know), my email, and even ironically in panic MY ONLY WINDOW WHERE I WAS WORKING. Both parents came out, and initiated to talk about my worthlessness. The normal response to their antics is to act like a shitproof surface, and just wait. Unfortunately, they came with a memorandum… I think of something that would help me in school or they keep me up all night, prevent me from doing anything, and blame me for their sleep loss. I came up with some ideas, but they didn’t take kindly to any of them. Some of them included. 1. Working harder 2. Cleaning up 3. Becoming more organized 4. Dedicating a fixed portion of each day to studies 5. Getting off teamliquid permanently (err, what a lie rofl) At this point I’m legitimately thinking what I can say to get them off my backs. They, like firebathero, are too annoying for me to ignore. My desk with my computer is tiny, and with the speakers and monitor there is about no available space to work.
(Imagine that with a textbook, a calculator, pens and pencils, etc) I think “I’ll move it to my room, where I have much more room on my desk” This is met with hell no, all you’ll ever do is mess around blah blah blah. Eventually, they got tired and fell for some equally bullshit of idea of what I’d do, but this does not compare to the idiocy to follow. At this point, after being yelled at and barbecued for literally 3 hours, I’m fairly well… pissed off.
So apart from going and listening to the roomie version of I’m not a witch (epic btw)
I decided fuck this, I’m moving the computer into my room. Sooo I took my computer, unplugged it, and moved it under my desk, covering it with a sweatshirt. At this point I realize my parents would sent me to slaughter for this, so I return to I wake up this morning, hoping they haven’t noticed. WOOT THEY havn’et. Then I think, what the fuck can I do with it, if they actually realize it’s gone I”ll be screwed, and I can’t use it in there in any case. (I’m a bit of a retard) (I also actually own my computer) I get back from school, study in my room, basically refusing to reply to my mom’s snyde comments that I never study. (All the hell she ever does is listen to PBS world, which our tv station just dropped much to her ranting and dismay.)
PBS World is a 24-hour digital channel showing documentaries, current affairs, and history programs
So at this point I’m just so pissed I say let’s make this all in. I take the monitor from the computer desk put it in my room, take a picture, MARVEL AT THE AWESOMENESS. Sit down. Stare. Smile. Gaze, directly into the sweet twin fans of the front of the antec 300 case…. To be awakened by my mom coming down the hall (again, think lord of the rings.) At this point I just say whatever. She comes in, yells at me, the elderly bassoon teacher with my brother looks at her like she’s a bitch, but that’s not that surprising. She then stops talking and states that she is incredibly angry. At this point I noted she looked like one of those world champion sumo wrestlers. I say, well, I only had it to “see what it would look like” She responded by saying YOU KNOW I DIDN’T WANT THAT ALL YOUD DO IS SCREW AROUND
I just facebed (not facepalm, I think I was carrying something) and put up with a 10 minute lecture about how now she can’t trust me, and about how my doorknob will be removed. I now I have a three inch round hole in my door…. She left. Don’t know for where. She has no friends. My aunt kicked her out last time she left because of me. Anyways, the logistics aside, she returned with the disclaimer “On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the maddest, I’m at a trillion.” Ignoring this obvious logical flaw, she then proceeded to the heart of this deeply woven story, with the well phrased, poetic (though not in iambic pentameter verse of “I need to leave again, because I can’t see you. (I didn’t think I was THAT ugly o.O) If I see you more I will do something and the police will be here. Why be soft. I want to kill you and bash in your skull. I want to bash your head into the door. I want to kick your face. I WANT TO (hand motions included) BREAK YOUR NECK
I just sat there with the following look on my face:
Given that these kinds of events happen fairly frequently, this will be the first blog in a series of many. Feel free to post comments, advice for writing, and whatnot.
Are you serious? Your mom gave you all this crap for 'not studying'?
What was the average mark in your class - and you said you got 20% over it? Doesn't sound horrible to me.
Anyway, tell your mum you'd be much more productive in an evironment with less stress and pressure. Tell her you're aware of your own goals and have your own motivation - all her yelling and screaming is not helping.
Also, tell her to stop living vicariously through you. Your success != her success.
so when you say your gpa is 4.2 what scale are we using here? Are we talking 4.5 scale or 9 point scale? Your answer will help determine whether or not I think you're a tool.
haha nice blog i thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm going to go on a whim and assume asian parents but meh =P. I've heard the whole you make me so angry i'm gonna do somethign the cops will be after me for. Don't completely dismiss this as the normal BS if your old lady is anything like mine she can snap and next thing you know shes trying to stick you with a pair of kitchen scissors. =/
Do what you gotta' do. Bite your tongue, keep working, keep studying.... then when you graduate move far, far away. If you're taking AP classes you're likely a senior (can you take AP as a junior? I don't remember at this point) so you've only got ~2/3 of a year to eat their shit.
On November 17 2010 14:56 Froadac wrote: Out of a 5.0. Pretty damn good. About the mean to get into UC Berkeley.
not quite. you're asian so that kind of shoots your gpa to shit relatively. the average takes into account underrepresented minorities and athletes, which bias it down pretty hard
On November 17 2010 14:56 Froadac wrote: Out of a 5.0. Pretty damn good. About the mean to get into UC Berkeley.
not quite. you're asian so that kind of shoots your gpa to shit relatively. the average takes into account underrepresented minorities and athletes, which bias it down pretty hard
Berekeley is 4.18. THey do bias it. However, I"m white, male, and have uber extracurriculars and volunteering.
The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
On November 17 2010 15:01 SichuanPanda wrote: The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
Unfortunately the canned response to that they always give is "just because other people are being dumb doesn't mean you have to"
dude, i didn't even own a desk or a computer when i was in high school, i had to share the comp with the parentals (which was less than ideal). but yea i'd always get straight(ish) A's and they'd always yell at me for random shit, check the comp history (started deleting it after the first time they said something), check texts and just be super intrusive. they'd also blame all their marital (or drinking problems if you're my dad) on me. all-in-all, you just gotta brush it off bro. once you're in college you're given sooooo much freedom (just don't abuse it like i did frosh year heh). just hang in there, though, dude. a lot of us have been there under worse circumstances.
On November 17 2010 15:01 SichuanPanda wrote: The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
Unfortunately the canned response to that they always give is "just because other people are being dumb doesn't mean you have to"
My canned response to that is 'Ironic how you fail to follow your own advice isn't it?'
On November 17 2010 15:03 wrestlingfool08 wrote: dude, i didn't even own a desk or a computer when i was in high school, i had to share the comp with the parentals (which was less than ideal). but yea i'd always get straight(ish) A's and they'd always yell at me for random shit, check the comp history (started deleting it after the first time they said something), check texts and just be super intrusive. they'd also blame all their marital (or drinking problems if you're my dad) on me. all-in-all, you just gotta brush it off bro. once you're in college you're given sooooo much freedom (just don't abuse it like i did frosh year heh). just hang in there, though, dude. a lot of us have been there under worse circumstances.
haha. So true. I'm from a suburban family, and things could be much much much much worse. But venting is good.
On November 17 2010 15:01 SichuanPanda wrote: The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
Unfortunately the canned response to that they always give is "just because other people are being dumb doesn't mean you have to"
My canned response to that is 'Ironic how you fail to follow your own advice isn't it?'
Quite epic sir. Quite epic. Unfortunately, that generally leads to further sanctions (ie no teamliquid )
On November 17 2010 15:03 wrestlingfool08 wrote: dude, i didn't even own a desk or a computer when i was in high school, i had to share the comp with the parentals (which was less than ideal). but yea i'd always get straight(ish) A's and they'd always yell at me for random shit, check the comp history (started deleting it after the first time they said something), check texts and just be super intrusive. they'd also blame all their marital (or drinking problems if you're my dad) on me. all-in-all, you just gotta brush it off bro. once you're in college you're given sooooo much freedom (just don't abuse it like i did frosh year heh). just hang in there, though, dude. a lot of us have been there under worse circumstances.
haha. So true. I'm from a suburban family, and things could be much much much much worse. But venting is good.
yea totally! i agree venting is therapeutic. just wanted to throw in my two cents good luck with the Berkley business!
EDIT: also, venting is better than killing hookers lol so good choice.
On November 17 2010 15:01 SichuanPanda wrote: The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
Unfortunately the canned response to that they always give is "just because other people are being dumb doesn't mean you have to"
My canned response to that is 'Ironic how you fail to follow your own advice isn't it?'
Quite epic sir. Quite epic. Unfortunately, that generally leads to further sanctions (ie no teamliquid )
Yea my parents tried to pull a 'no internet for a week' type thing in high school, and sometimes they might follow through on it - for a few hours, but then they cool off and logic sets. I'm not going to presume to know how your parents would react though, all I know is that for mine to accept that I still wasn't 12 years old when I was actually 16-18 (the three years they pulled these kinda stunts) things had to get worse before they got better.
On November 17 2010 15:00 Froadac wrote: However, I"m white, male
Oh wow I just assumed from the general tone of the blog that you had to be Asian with parents who are the reason the stereotype of Asian parents exists. This revelation just adds another level of ‘What?’ to the equation.
On November 17 2010 15:01 SichuanPanda wrote: The best approach to deal with parents raging like this I found at least was to point out to them all the things you HAVE done right (even though in reality the thing you've done 'wrong' are unwarranted), and to also indicate to them that its pretty difficult to be motivated when whether you succeed at 10% or 110% its never good enough for their standards. Another good one is to simply not care and intentionally infuriate them (lol) when your mom went on about how she wanted to 'break your neck' or whatever a good response would be 'gee if you get this made about me moving the computer from room to the other what would happen if I did something really bad?'. Basically you have to show the attitude of not caring towards their REMARKS, but at the same time do the very best you can in school, etc. - eventually (and I really mean eventually, it took mine about four years) they will realize their stupidity.
Unfortunately the canned response to that they always give is "just because other people are being dumb doesn't mean you have to"
My canned response to that is 'Ironic how you fail to follow your own advice isn't it?'
Quite epic sir. Quite epic. Unfortunately, that generally leads to further sanctions (ie no teamliquid )
Yea my parents tried to pull a 'no internet for a week' type thing in high school, and sometimes they might follow through on it - for a few hours, but then they cool off and logic sets. I'm not going to presume to know how your parents would react though, all I know is that for mine to accept that I still wasn't 12 years old when I was actually 16-18 (the three years they pulled these kinda stunts) things had to get worse before they got better.
Yeah. It certainly makes a fair bit of sense. My parents are overall just full of irony. I'm president of two 50 person clubs, and I have no responsibility, and act like I'm 5
@antiochus yeah, if I tell anyone on the interwebs about my parents, they assume I'm asian. It's fine
On November 17 2010 15:00 Froadac wrote: However, I"m white, male
Oh wow I just assumed from the general tone of the blog that you had to be Asian with parents who are the reason the stereotype of Asian parents exists. This revelation just adds another level of ‘What?’ to the equation.
You may note that there were several give-aways to his Caucasian-ness hidden within the text.
First, the "Berkley or Bust" stick-it. I do not know a single Asian person who uses that sort of language, they're always middle-ish class white people.
Secondly, by the sound of it his mother is a bit of a bored, failed housewife. Asian mothers are more likely to have a part time job or be epically involved in house-work all the time.
Lastly, his mother watches PBS. Who watches PBS who isn't white?
On November 17 2010 15:00 Froadac wrote: However, I"m white, male
Oh wow I just assumed from the general tone of the blog that you had to be Asian with parents who are the reason the stereotype of Asian parents exists. This revelation just adds another level of ‘What?’ to the equation.
You may note that there were several give-aways to his Caucasian-ness hidden within the text.
First, the "Berkley or Bust" stick-it. I do not know a single Asian person who uses that sort of language, they're always middle-ish class white people.
Secondly, by the sound of it his mother is a bit of a bored, failed housewife. Asian mothers are more likely to have a part time job or be epically involved in house-work all the time.
Lastly, his mother watches PBS. Who watches PBS who isn't white?
On November 17 2010 15:00 Froadac wrote: However, I"m white, male
Oh wow I just assumed from the general tone of the blog that you had to be Asian with parents who are the reason the stereotype of Asian parents exists. This revelation just adds another level of ‘What?’ to the equation.
You may note that there were several give-aways to his Caucasian-ness hidden within the text.
First, the "Berkley or Bust" stick-it. I do not know a single Asian person who uses that sort of language, they're always middle-ish class white people.
Secondly, by the sound of it his mother is a bit of a bored, failed housewife. Asian mothers are more likely to have a part time job or be epically involved in house-work all the time.
Lastly, his mother watches PBS. Who watches PBS who isn't white?
True. Berkeley or bust is quite white :D
Lol. All I can say is get into that school for yourself, and yourself alone, don't do it just because your parents are breathing down your neck, just keep in mind that despite all the arguements and bullshit its happening because they care what happens (evidently too much). Its not like they are trying to be malicious in your studies rather taking the incorrect approach (negative reinforcement as opposed to positive) to encourage you to do well. Hopefully when you do get into the school - because judging by your posts and your ability to make correct psychological conclusions about your parents behavior, you are clearly intelligent enough to pull it off - your parents will ease up.
On November 17 2010 15:00 Froadac wrote: However, I"m white, male
Oh wow I just assumed from the general tone of the blog that you had to be Asian with parents who are the reason the stereotype of Asian parents exists. This revelation just adds another level of ‘What?’ to the equation.
You may note that there were several give-aways to his Caucasian-ness hidden within the text.
First, the "Berkley or Bust" stick-it. I do not know a single Asian person who uses that sort of language, they're always middle-ish class white people.
Secondly, by the sound of it his mother is a bit of a bored, failed housewife. Asian mothers are more likely to have a part time job or be epically involved in house-work all the time.
Lastly, his mother watches PBS. Who watches PBS who isn't white?
True. Berkeley or bust is quite white :D
Lol. All I can say is get into that school for yourself, and yourself alone, don't do it just because your parents are breathing down your neck, just keep in mind that despite all the arguements and bullshit its happening because they care what happens (evidently too much). Its not like they are trying to be malicious in your studies rather taking the incorrect approach (negative reinforcement as opposed to positive) to encourage you to do well. Hopefully when you do get into the school - because judging by your posts and your ability to make correct psychological conclusions about your parents behavior, you are clearly intelligent enough to pull it off - your parents will ease up.
Yeah. Parents are weird. They are incredibly worried about "closing doors"and are certain I can't get into berkeley, but they don't really have a school they want me to get into. If I don't drag up my GPA, I won't be able to, but work work work! Thanks for the encouragement.
There are some parents that at a certain moment in life ceize to have their own life and start living through their children. The reason they're mad at you is because they're basically investing everything they have in your succes. You have to remind them that they're responsible for their own happiness, instead of putting all the pressure on you.
It's not always about the results, I know a lot of my friends in my high school that never got below an A- in any class and graduated top 5% of the class. All while still not really trying. But to be fair, my highschool was a joke but still. I know that with my parents, their major issue with me is that I don't do the best that I can, I just do whatever I feel like, which is usually closer to the bare minimum. Which I actually learned was a fair point
On November 17 2010 16:24 Xenocide_Knight wrote: Are you actually working hard though?
It's not always about the results, I know a lot of my friends in my high school that never got below an A- in any class and graduated top 5% of the class. All while still not really trying. But to be fair, my highschool was a joke but still. I know that with my parents, their major issue with me is that I don't do the best that I can, I just do whatever I feel like, which is usually closer to the bare minimum. Which I actually learned was a fair point
Just throwing some ideas out
Yes and no. I"ve had times (earlier this semester) when I wasn't , but at the time of the incident I"certainly was working as hard as possible. Myi highschool isn't a joke XD
Dude your life fucking sucks... There a line between parents who push their children and psychopaths and your parents crossed that line, getting RAG'd to the point of threatening physical violence to their own child over a computer being moved isn't sane. My parents didn't push me at all and that's why I'm in the military. But good God, I'd rather have mine than yours anyday. Just yeah, there's no way I'd put up with it. The biggest fight I had with my mom was when she freaked out that I hit my half brother cause he was being a effin psycho and biting the shit out of me when he was 6. Some bullshit about how I should just deal with it and not take any action, of course her response being to tell her about it but it's kinda hard when you're passed out on pain meds... but this isn't about me Just Jesus dude, how close are you to graduating High School?
Damn dude, your parents still tell you to do things and you're in highschool? You're a grown ass man. Take life by the balls and go to bed after 10 pm.
Surprised that some white people have Asian parents as well. The best way to deal with Asian parents is to know what's best for yourself and act on it. Do whatever the hell you think is the best course of action for you, and then let your parents yell at you. Whenever they yell at you, lecture you, or anything, make it obvious that you are zoning them out and just say "okay" once in a while. Keep on doing whatever you're doing. If you are studying, just keep on reading your textbook while your parents are talking. If you are playing sc2, just keep on playing sc2 while your parents are screaming at you to go study. Even if the beat you, just ignore it. The worst thing you can try to do is to talk with your parents or try to reason with them. A parents is ALWAYS irrational 100% of the time, no matter what kind of a parent they are. That's why you cannot reason with them. If you obey every command that your parents give you, you will fail at life, and even your grades won't be the highest. It is your job to defy your parents and do what is best for yourself. Be sure to keep feeding results though. Whenever you do well on a test or make some significant achievement, tell it to your parents and then ignore all compliments/complaints that they have. Keep maintaining this process of completely shutting out your parents and then bringing back good grades, and eventually, your parents will get off your ass.
Yeah, yeah, similar things happened in my high school times as well. Parents yellin' at me about how little I study, how my classmates are studying, how are my marks and their marks etc etc. They always compared me with my friends, yelled about how my teachers hate me, my teachers' opinions about how those friends of mine being better than me and I won't succeed in the exam but my friends will etc. They somehow thought that I'd rank worse than 15th in my class in the university entrance exams (WTF) and they expressed those stupid opinions to my family (ROFL). My best friend's family didn't want him to talk to me because his grades are getting lower because of me (OMGWTFLOLROFLMAO).
But, in our previous system (the one that was valid when I was preparing for university), there was 1 exam worth 300 points, high school marks are worth 80 points (similar to korean style) and points from hs marks were determined with your degree in school and school's exam degree. My high school was one of the best in my country, so despite being ~50th or so in my high school (with over 91/100 cumulative GPA), I got over 79/80 high school points. It was like 79.1 or something like that. And yes, the 300 point exam (it was only 1 exam of slightly over 3 hours). And, guess my rank after the exam! I scored 2nd in my class and was in top 10 of the school (may even be top 5).
YEAH THE VICTORY !!! I was like "WHAT!!! the fuck... BITCH???" in the every single time I went to school after that or every single time I saw one of my teachers. And guess what they said about me: "Well, we always knew what you were capable to do yada yada yada". I was like "SHUTCHA MOUTH BITCH!!!". And now everytime my family starts talking with their friends about my university exam stories like "he didn't even study 1 4th of his friends" I can proudly say "come to the conclusion part".
To wrap up: DON'T give a FUCK to what your family or teachers are thinking about you. They know NOTHING.
YEAH THE VICTORY !!! I was like "WHAT!!! the fuck... BITCH???" in the every single time I went to school after that or every single time I saw one of my teachers. And guess what they said about me: "Well, we always knew what you were capable to do yada yada yada". I was like "SHUTCHA MOUTH BITCH!!!". And now everytime my family starts talking with their friends about my university exam stories like "he didn't even study 1 4th of his friends" I can proudly say "come to the conclusion part".
To wrap up: DON'T give a FUCK to what your family or teachers are thinking about you. They know NOTHING.
This sounds like a really good way to raise someone who is going to get blackout drunk and high like every night when they get to college and away from their parents.
Not saying that you will, because you sound like you have your shit totally together and are self motivated, but the average person would've resorted to drugs and rebellious behavior a long time ago in your situation :p