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Not really here to play a pity party, but I have been observational of myself lately and it's kinda feeling lame.
All of my friends went off to college and are just beginning to make something of themselves and/or have already. A lot of my friends have kids, are in the process of having kids, have an on going relationship, or if they don't they have something else that keeps them quite happy (college life, good job, hobbies).
I feel like I am lacking in this area. I feel like it quite literally sucks to be me. 7 years ago I started working for Topper's Pizza as a delivery driver. I'm now an assistant manager who made gross 37k last year. What a measly sum. I mean I think it is, it is right? The way the company is and how the economy is, I have no way of moving up, but I have some sort of loyalty to the company as well, so I don't want to go looking for another job.
I have talents, working with computer hardware, my voice gets compliments consistently from calling orders at work by customers. My proficiency at writing is decent. Somehow I have overlooked these strengths and found a way to just be a guy that cuts pizzas, has to deal with disrespectful minimum wage employees for hours and whip them into shape (but for what purpose, so they can learn to be better minimum wage employees with no reason to have a future in the company?).
My truck is falling apart, but I didn't even pay for it, so I should be okay, it was given to me. I'm about to take my first vacation in 7 years, going to MLG Dallas for both Super Smash Bros Brawl and Starcraft 2 competition, despite never doing anything spectacular in either. I just couldn't really come up with anything to do for a vacation since I'm a boring individual who has no real passions outside of competitive gaming and music.
So honestly, TL... What should I do. Start looking for another job? But I have no college education, stuck in an apartment where I can't afford to go to college full time and catch up in life.
Oh forgot to mention I've been every women's gay best friend for about 7 years now as well, despite being straight, upfront and honest with the ones I have been interested in about my emotions, to barely any success. I'm not even bad looking at all, and plenty of women have been attracted to me, but the ones that are, are usually insane and into drugs, not an intellectual equal whatsoever (this has to do with me not going to college and meeting women there), "sluts", etc... I still give em a chance and go on dates to see if there is something there, and I had a sorta relationship, but it ended really bad.
Generally I'm not much of a success, and I see on TL all of these people are such successes in something. All I have succeeded in is showing up to my job on time, barely calling in sick, and not taking a vacation for 7 years. I also live in a nice apartment with some roommates. I mean I gotta be somewhat positive. I feel like I'm OKAY at everything, but not great at anything. I have things I get interested in but once I try to get into it it fades again. Most video games are dead to me as well. Starcraft 2 is like the only thing I play. I used to be that guy that would be excited about every rpg coming out and play them whenever they did, had so much passion. Now they just all feel like they suck, including the big name ones (Dragon Quest IX, FFXIII, new Tales games).
So back to the subject, maybe I've hit a mid-life crisis early at the age of 25, but I'm just rather depressed, don't know what to do with my time, all my friends except for 1 have moved away onto greater things. All I have left is browsing the internet mindlessly all day finding out useless stuff that the teenagers at work seem to be amazed that I know, before they realize once again I'm 25 with a dead-end career, no education, and no skills, and go back to being unimpressed.
TLDR: I am jealous of EVERYONE and their life around me. It feels like everyone is doing so many more things than me, and I'm just learning about stuff on the internet and working away at a nice pizza place till I die.
 
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meh, your not so bad off. What do you want out of life?
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this is wat u do to solve all ur lifes problems. u say all ur friends have better lives? here is how 2 succed like them. follow my instructions very carefully.
first, u put out a job posting on a popular job website like monster.com. make sure its super amazing job, liek 100k per year to massage boobies. rent out a convention center to do the interviews and dress in a suit and talk like some1 educated. when lots of ppl come, make sure to keep the resumes of those that look like u. take photos for records and then do a second round calling them back, but ask for their social security number for "background checks."
second, take the social security number and photo and get a social security card with it. u can tell the gov that you lost it and need a new 1, just keep being persistent and u'll get it. use the card to get a drivers license. use the drivers license to get a credit card. use the credit card 2 buy an international flight. use ur real credit card to buy another ticket for u. so now u have 2 tickets, 1 in ur name and 1 under the job interview guy whose cc u faked.
third, check into the airport under ur id and under his id. board the plane as him. then when ur on the plane, tell the stewardess u need to get off bc u left a very important bag in the waiting area. she will say no but u have to force it. make sure she lets u off. then go to the bathroom, shave off all ur hair, change ur clothes, then board the plane as urself (make sure to check in).
now the plane takes off with 2 ppl checked in, but when it lands only 1 person gets off. boom somewhere over the atlantic u have disappeared. the white house and fbi be like wtf howd u do that pizza guy?? (don't tell them baller told u how, but plz remember who helped u, i may need a favor 1 day).
ur off the gird enjoy ur new life jason bourne.
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lol at this post above me!
But I think you should work on trying to achieve what you want with a more positive outlook. Maybe lower your expectations a little as well?
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I one day hope to live on the street. Lay around 42nd street and make clever cardboard signs, like "bumatlarge tweets: ..... Yep, still hungry and cold."
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Go to school for some sort of computer related subject for 5 years and crack down six figures, seems pretty straight forward to me.
The process and the -massive- work load involved is the hard part, thus why it pays so much. Do you really want to make 40k and live among the dregs of society for the rest of your life? What is going to change if you don't make it change?
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On October 28 2010 14:04 n.DieJokes wrote:
meh, your not so bad off. What do you want out of life?
This is the problem. I just want a wife someday, some kids, a decent job where I don't have to slave away all day, all night, work weekends, and have no time to spend time with said kids.
The reason why it's a problem is I have never known what I wanted to do career wise, and restaurant management is the antithesis of the goal I have for my personal life.
On October 28 2010 14:16 Loanshark wrote:
lol at this post above me!
But I think you should work on trying to achieve what you want with a more positive outlook. Maybe lower your expectations a little as well?
LOL@the joke post, that was pretty good.
Like I outlined above, I don't think my expectations are all that high.
On October 28 2010 14:36 VonLego wrote:
Go to school for some sort of computer related subject for 5 years and crack down six figures, seems pretty straight forward to me.
The process and the -massive- work load involved is the hard part, thus why it pays so much. Do you really want to make 40k and live among the dregs of society for the rest of your life? What is going to change if you don't make it change?
I'm one of those fail school types. Failed every class since 4th grade. Depression, social anxiety, etc... Some other disorders I'm sure I have. I had a pretty fucked up past, but won't waste your time with that. Seriously getting a job, and holding it for so long, was a monumental achievement in my life, but as always I'm fighting from behind everyone else it feels like.
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Canada2492 Posts
you have to honestly ask yourself what you want in life. maybe a change of location would do you good.
sometimes drastic measures can really help, you can get a work visa and live in an interesting new place, you can restructure yourself to how you want to be.
do this,:get a paper and ask yourself what you want in 5 years. be realistic but dont feel inferior about it.
you think you are not fit for anything than pizza but that makes no sense. you are a human being. unless you have like 60 IQ you can fulfill any realistic expectations you have, (with the least bit of luck.) I know prospects might seem low but that fear is actually the main think holding you back.
fear is the mind killer!
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I'd say take some classes on things that you seem interesting to you at a community college or online since you spend so much time online. Take a variety of interesting stuff and hope you find something that you are really passionate about, something that you would want to do for free but are going to get paid to do anyways. I' think doing something you love is one of the most important things in life, along with finding someone you love. And I'm sure you'll meet someone great eventually.
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I am in no way qualified to answer this because I have been fortunate enough to be helped along in many ways in my life. But I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities!
It seems like you are trying to bite off so much at once and it is overwhelming you. You have a distant target (family, kids, better career, etc.) but there are intermediary steps that need to be taken first. I personally think you need to start with baby steps and work your way up to your perfect scenario.
You said you aren't a school type of person, but there are many types of career education that don't involve sitting in a class room taking notes. Have you looked into any technical schools or career centers? Many offer basic to advanced classes for things such as automotive repair or computer technician. Maybe a more hands on approach to learning would pique your interest. I think you just need to start working towards something, whatever that may be.
I wouldn't worry too much about the women stuff, most of it is beyond your control and as you continue to better yourself it will all fall into place imo.
Just don't look at the big picture and get depressed, try to keep focusing on your small goals. Maybe pass a class at a technical school, fill out job apps, try to get interviews, get a new job, etc. You don't need to do it all at once, so don't think you need to!
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Canada2492 Posts
Have you ever considered taking part time education in a trade? trades pay damn well and can get you good work easy. if you have to do a bunch of easy high school stuff online first dont worry about it.
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Canada2492 Posts
seriously i knew a plumber who made like 500 a day plumbing.
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Just remember that you don't have it all that bad, 37k a year is something a lot of people would love right now. Yeah, it could be better, but it's not that bad at all. Just stay optimistic and keep hacking away at finding a new job and maybe a girl.
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LOL best baller's post ever - and god knows how good previous posts were.
Holy shit, how the hell did you come up with that sick idea baller ? I'm impressed.
On topic :
I think you're not in such a bad situation. I know you can always always find worse, and always find better. You are at least employed, and living in a nice apartment. Could be worse eh. And you're 25, I really think it's fine if you don't have kids yet. The biggest issue with the girl is maybe due to a lack of confidence. I was in the exact same situation as you after high school. A lot of girls were "oh endy's really cute", "oh endy's the smartest kid in the class", but I almost always ended up single lol, I was so depressed  Then I gained some confidence and everything worked out very well.
What I suggest you is trying to get some new friends. I'm not saying your current friends suck, it's just that if everytime you hang out with them their attention is focused on their new born baby and how happy they are since he's born, and how much they are successful in their career, it's gonna give you a false impression that you suck.
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37,000 of anything is a lot. imagine if u had 37,000 million dollar bills. then ud be able to buy italy. if u think about it this way, ur making more money than the entire economy of most countries.
On October 28 2010 15:02 endy wrote:
LOL best baller's post ever - and god knows how good previous posts were.
Holy shit, how the hell did you come up with that sick idea baller ? I'm impressed.
i read it on reddit
edit omfg lol "reddit" i just got it
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You're not a fourth grader anymore, you're a grown man.
What is harder--- an engineering course or a marriage?
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
what makes you happy? make this your #1 priority. you are single, young, and have 37k a year at your disposal to find a fucking hobby. go skiing? go to a music festival? get a dog (highly recommended)? take care of yourself first, and everything else can't help but follow.
i'm so tempted to just close this thread so you'll get up and do something but it is nice having a bunch of people comfort you a little every now and then. baby steps, then - practice hard for MLG dallas with the goal of having fun. go to the TL meetup. at least find out the names of the educational institutions around you and what courses they offer in general. i don't know just go do something!!
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France2061 Posts
Oh god I knew baller was going to post in this blog as soon as I started reading it
<3
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I agree with intrigue.You're only 25. Get off your ass and do something.
You've already demonstrated independence and the ability to manage your own life. This is an excellent foundation to work with. Others have mentioned both the community college option and the vocational training option. I think both of these are good ideas for you to consider.
I've known plenty of people that struggled in the K-12 environment, yet flourished in the college environment. It's very possible that you just need to find the right environment for you to succeed.
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On October 28 2010 14:13 baller wrote:
this is wat u do to solve all ur lifes problems. u say all ur friends have better lives? here is how 2 succed like them. follow my instructions very carefully.
first, u put out a job posting on a popular job website like monster.com. make sure its super amazing job, liek 100k per year to massage boobies. rent out a convention center to do the interviews and dress in a suit and talk like some1 educated. when lots of ppl come, make sure to keep the resumes of those that look like u. take photos for records and then do a second round calling them back, but ask for their social security number for "background checks."
second, take the social security number and photo and get a social security card with it. u can tell the gov that you lost it and need a new 1, just keep being persistent and u'll get it. use the card to get a drivers license. use the drivers license to get a credit card. use the credit card 2 buy an international flight. use ur real credit card to buy another ticket for u. so now u have 2 tickets, 1 in ur name and 1 under the job interview guy whose cc u faked.
third, check into the airport under ur id and under his id. board the plane as him. then when ur on the plane, tell the stewardess u need to get off bc u left a very important bag in the waiting area. she will say no but u have to force it. make sure she lets u off. then go to the bathroom, shave off all ur hair, change ur clothes, then board the plane as urself (make sure to check in).
now the plane takes off with 2 ppl checked in, but when it lands only 1 person gets off. boom somewhere over the atlantic u have disappeared. the white house and fbi be like wtf howd u do that pizza guy?? (don't tell them baller told u how, but plz remember who helped u, i may need a favor 1 day).
ur off the gird enjoy ur new life jason bourne.
This is unequivocally the most absurd yet awesome post I have ever read. You, sir, are a genius.
OP: What makes you happy in life besides SC2? Take some time to answer this question. Get away from everything and think about who you are and what you love to do. Once you have some ideas you can start from there.
I suggest you read this essay by Alan Lightman. In brief, it talks about the importance of getting away from it all, be it your cell, TL, television to make some time in your day to reflect on what's important to you. http://faculty.winthrop.edu/macric/CRTW 201/Prisoners.pdf
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Don't worry about relationships yet, 25 is still so young. Focus on your career first.
It is never too late to start college/university. There are many people over 40 doing undergraduate studies. Consider working part time and study part time. Depending on how much you can spare, you could do 1-2 courses per semester. It'll take quite a few years but you'll get your degree eventually.
However, If I was you, I'd start by getting a second job. You won't feel empty or bored after that since you'll be too tired. Start saving serious money, move out of your nice apartment into a cheaper one, leech wireless internet off neighbours, stop spending on anything except essentials. No more $5 coffees and $50 dinners. Consider dumpster diving, search Google, you'll be surprised. Work out how much you need, and as soon as you have saved up/borrowed off anyone you know/applied for loans and scholarships so that you have enough money, start college full time, as well as keeping a part time job that fits your schedule. This method will be harder but you will get your degree faster. Make sure to get top marks, study your ass off, high distinctions and As etc so you can get more scholarships and better job prospects. When you get your degree, you'll have your brand new life with nice job prospects (assuming you did well in a degree that is useful), all before 30 years old.
Remember, it is never too late. There are many, many people who have had no choices about their circumstances in life and still managed to claw their way out and changed their lives. Just how much do you want it?
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You make twice as much money as I do and I am a college graduate (so maybe that isn't so important.) I think you're fine. If I were in your position I would feel pretty fine.
I know a guy with a mechanical engineering Masters who can't get a job. :/
I know people that are 40 years old and can't hold a job. :/
I say count your lucky stars and be thankful for what you've made for yourself. You are more successful than many many many many people.
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On October 28 2010 14:54 ShaperofDreams wrote:
seriously i knew a plumber who made like 500 a day plumbing.
yeah plummers actually make a lot of money. if you ever get a roto rooter guy to come to your house or something it's like $60/hour with like a 2 hour minimum. and my dad has always told me you need to know two things to be a plummer. shit doesn't flow uphill and friday is payday.
also op, you should look into the military a little and see if it interests you
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<3 much love baller, much love. Glad you know what reddit means now :D
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If everybody was super-successful in life then nobody would be super-successful. The world needs people like you and me so the super-successful have something to measure themselves against.
And $37K isn't that bad, is it? There's plenty of people getting less. In fact I'm seven years older than you and I get less although I don't pay as much in taxes or pay for my accommodation so it probably works out the same.
Also, not all white-collar jobs are necessarily good and I think it's actually nice to have a job that involves some physical activity,
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I am seven years younger then you, but I feel like I am in much the same place. I work at Little Caesars. I'm the guy that cut's pizza too.
I am going to college, but it feels like a drag and I'm not motivated at all.
I have a guitar being shipped to me tomorrow. Do I even know how to play? HELL NO. I am the most musically challenged person in the world. I tried to learn a few years ago and failed miserably. But you know what? I had fun doing it and it made me want to try new things. So starting tomorrow, I am going to start teaching myself how to play. I really think finding something I actually want to do will help me in other areas of life. Maybe it will help you? And you have a much larger budget then I do, so just pick something and go for it.
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Your story really reminded me of when I was 25, which I consider one of my toughest moment all of my life. During that time I literally broke, I was working for some company, which going bankrupt, the owner runaway, and I was not paid, and due to some other issue I was completely broke. I got another job which the salary was just enough for eat, rent and transport. One year after that I got a better job which I loved and life was getting better for me.
Now I'm in a much better position (I'm 30 now), although I'm pretty much stuck in a plain life (career and personal life), but much happier than 5 years ago. I'm currently trying to motivate myself to move forward.
OK, enough for my rant, IMHO life is like a roller coaster, there always an up and down time. 5yrs back I was in my down moment, about 2-3 years back I was in my up, and now it seems I'm a bit in a down moment.
Try to see things that can make you feel better, maybe music, social, books or anything. Taking a break is also a good thing to do, so that you can get out of your routines and maybe you can find time to look back and try to figure out things. Sometimes life is easy and you can read the road ahead just like an open book, but sometimes it seems like wandering in the fogs, when you see the road ahead clearly just go and embrace it, it will come, don't worry 
Cheers ^^
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baller commented on your blog. you just got 100x more awesome. you should carry a print screen of this around in your wallet and when you meet a hot chick at a bar you can show them and you'll instantly get laid. or say you get pulled over by a cop, just be like, "woah, woah, bro, baller commented my blog" and he'll be like "oh snap, my bad, dude, carry on!" or now you're applying for a new job, maybe ceo of google or king of the world, just put this on your resume and you're good.
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Well, your first vacation in 7 years was going to MLG?
Here's what you'll do..
You'll save up - book the tickets then go backpacking/traveling.
Your job doesn't feel fulfilling as it's not a means to an end - you never really see the benefit of the money you earn outside of survival. If you spend your accumulated funds while seeing the world - you'll feel a lot better about your situation and quite possibly find an angle as to what you want to do.
Even if you HATE it - that just means you'll appreciate coming home and the life you've already built for yourself that much more. Also - if what you're saying is true and you're "not bad looking" - you WILL end up hooking up with equally confused girls from around the world when you're staying at various hostels, you might even find someone special who you'd never had met otherwise.
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I think you're doing ok man. I was making good money in IT and lost my job, its been like 9 months and i feel like i just dont know what to do and ill never get back to that state. I wish sooo much that I could just be at that job still for the stability, but the ENTIRE time i was there I couldnt stop thinking about going back to school to get a degree, working on personal projects and how i wanted more time for them, more time for myself, etc. But now i realize shit could always be worse.. You got a solid foundation, just figure out something else you wanna do try and use your spare time for it and dont be lazy. ~_~ gl
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anything you've ever wanted to do but never did it?
this might sound cliche but..
i wrote a blog like this (not really) a while back. basically saying all my friends moved on, i dont really have anyone to talk to, etc, etc. university is a hard place to make solid friends when you're a commuter.
then i just thought of things i always wanted to do but never did.
step one;
i googled "toronto dance studio"
checked the schedules, the prices and the map
step two;
i went to the dance studio, paid the money (which i never thought was worth it back when i was in high school so i never went. i mean $13 an hour? what the heck... but i just paid anyway
conclusion..
i really really liked it. i met some people there and we go regularly now. i cant say that we're the bestest of friends but it just shows that by going out there; finding ways to be involved in things you like, you'll easily find things to talk to with other people , meet new people because you're in an environment that you really enjoy being in.
just find something dude. and dont be cheap about the admissions if there are any lol.
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Have you thought of trying religion? I don't mean to suggest this superficially, and I apologize if you already have strong religious beliefs. But if you don't, there are a wide range of religious and religious-type communities out there, although something in the line of modern protestantism is probably the easiest for the typical North American to fit into. The reason I suggest it: churches are a great place to meet women who are interested in marrying and settling down. Also, depending on the denomination you can get involved by leading a youth group, helping homeless people, or visiting elderly, all of which can really help give you a sense of purpose in life.
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@baller way to plagiarize shit from other places yo.
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Netherlands4737 Posts
I think you should make your life Pizza and BW, that way you cannot not be happy.
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Smoke some weed.
I'm serious.
Wait out the bad economy yo. You'll be flying high in a few years, no pun intended.
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1) Military
2) Get a job in a technical career in it.
3) Save 60-70% of your paychecks.
4) Once you get out get put a down payment on a house get a new job in your field (you will have a lot of experience).
5) Join reserves.
-----
To sum it up you now job security a home and should be making decent money.
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Russian Federation4447 Posts
Go back to college bro.
Move back in with your parents if you have to.
You seem smart enough, gtfo of this pizza life.
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Not everyone in college is necessarily doing well.
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I wish I made 37k a year and lived in a nice apartment. Don't worry about being single, most of the time it doesn't work out anyway and you're left worse off.
/bitter post over
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First off, 37k/year for a single man...thats not a bad place to be. I mean more money is always nice but theres no set sum which is good, just minimum levels Read this book!
Second off, there is a common societal assumption in America you're falling prey to. College =/= success or moving forward in life. There are people in college who are just as lost, if not more lost than you...and instead of making 37k a year they're paying that much.
All of my friends went off to college and are just beginning to make something of themselves and/or have already.
Awesome! You know what that means? They know people, they have contacts, and they can get you where you want to go. Find out what they're doing, encourage them and be interested in your friends' lives. It will only help you down the road.
If you want direction, you have to answer this question with complete honesty: What do you really want? Everybody has an intuitive sense of this inside themselves. Personally, it took me until this year before I really sat down and tried figuring this out. It took me between 3-4 weeks, and how I did it personally was through tons and tons of reading and self-reflection.
I want to be involved with the privatization of space. I don't have to go there personally, but the thought of colonies and harvesting asteroids...the entire notion of our expansion is so deeply romantic and resonant with me my eyes water when I think about it. And better yet, once we get out there its incredibly practical too.
Once you figure out your desire, whether its have a family, become something specific or change the world you have to take an honest look at your strengths and your weaknesses. To do this, you need to ask everybody close to you to tell you honestly. I e-mailed a bunch of friends from my hometown as well as asking people here at college what they honestly thought my strengths and weaknesses are. I told them it was for an assignment so the more they said (and the more brutally honest they were) the more points I'd get but it really wasn't lol. Here's a compilation of responses:
I'm good/ok at writing and big-picture scenarios. I'm effective at organizing correspondence to and and appealing to an eclectic group of people. I also believe everybody has something amazing to say, and I genuinely enjoy helping people. I'm majoring in Communication and minoring in Asian Studies. I can learn very, very quickly, figure things out on my own and adapt on the fly. I can read MASSIVE amounts of text very quickly and still recall decent amounts. I see opportunity and always think of better ways things can work. I'm persistent, athletic, and (when I'm sober) intelligent.
However, I'm narrow-minded; when I find a point of view I like I'll generally ignore everything else. To change this I've consciously been challenging myself to thoroughly consider every point of view. I'm quiet..I moved into a fraternity house and force myself out whenever I can so this is slowly changing. I'd say now I'm "quiet sometimes" lol. I'm also really oblivious. This is because if I don't like something, I'll just disengage and disconnect from the situation (usually I start thinking about something useful to me). The going out thing is really forcing me to stay in the moment and I'm unconsciously picking up good nonverbal habits so this is another thing thats slowly changing.
These are personal observations of my weaknesses that others don't see: I fall REAL hard to my vices but generally don't keep them long. I also procrastinate and don't care about shit in school/my life if I don't like it (kind of conscious obliviousness). Procrastination will also happen because sometimes I feel inadequate to do something. When I realized this last one I was amazed by how bullshitty it was so now I'm actively trying to dive headlong into the things I usually just let coast (the classes I don't care about schoolwise).
I fucked up once and left an assignment in the class I cared about till the last minute. Luckily MightyAtom saved my ass and gave me a last-minute interview, but I still felt so shitty about it I've been on top of everything ever since.
Once you have these, figure out how the two interact. I'm kind of stuck at this point right now...basically, the question is "what job do I want?" But remember, a job is providing a service to somebody. Filling a need. It's not a variety of defined roles and responsibilities and nothing else but those. I guess what I'm trying to say is figure out what needs you'll fill and what you'll enjoy, THEN find the specific job(s) which will lead you there. Read, research, think about what role you can take to get closer to your personal desire. I haven't had enough professional experience or education to understand exactly what niche I can fill, but right now I feel it would generally be a function where I raise awareness of the benefits and obstacles to expanding into space and function as a super-connector person between people inside/outside the industry. I've also taken Japanese through high school and completed the program here at college, and given that space will be a very international thing I could also function as a connector between cultures. But this is all just my musing and it will expand alongside my experience, knowledge and desire.
I'm also really interested by business, but I hate math. I can do it but I HATE it. I go to the library and read forbes/wall street journal/fortune magazine like 3 hours straight when I can fit it in, I'm just fascinated by money and business. The time flies by. I don't know how this will factor in either.
Once you've figured out your niche, identify the people you want to meet and make it happen. I've started connecting people in my life for mutual benefit and I've developed the gumption to talk to bigwigs (the President of my university yesterday came up to me through a crowd at a philanthropy event my fraternity is doing and told me out of everybody he meets I'm one of the people in particular he remembers. We've only met face-to-face twice including yesterday. I was so happy)
For me, I came into college with no fucking clue who I was or what I wanted to do. Luckily I figured it out in time to make college useful. Society has lost sight of what college is really for, its no good to you if you don't why you're going there. You go there to learn the skills necessary to do what you really want to do and get proof you know them. My first two years weren't a waste but..I could've been doing so much better.
For you, you're financially in a good spot to set yourself up for whatever you want to do. Confront it now: you will be leaving your job with in a year if thats what it takes to become who you want where you want. Basically this post is instructions/examples for the process I went through to get out of the state you're in.
I have a couple books I recommend you read which provide various ways, insights and methods to go through the process I just talked about:
Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi
How to Get Any Job with Any Major by Donald Asher
I Will Teach you to be Rich by Ramit Sethi
The Wealthy Barber by David Chilton
I just started this one (off a reccomendation) and it is a great book for me right now because of a lot of factors irrelevant to the discussion. Give it a shot.
Read those books, keep a journal handy and just write shit down that comes to your head or for notes or whatever. Go wild. I've filled up ~15 pages in a notebook in the past 3 days and I look through everything I've written once a day just because its fascinating and to connect it all.
The knowledge and insight you'll get from people far more experienced than either of us is inside those books. Read them and they will show you how to change your life.
Let me know when you figure out what you really want to do and I'll help you brainstorm possible career paths, what you can do to develop skills towards your goal and let you know anything else useful and pertinent. You already sound like you've got an awareness of strengths/skills you have which go underutilized, and it frustrates you. Its good you're being honest with yourself and you feel that way because thats the energy it takes to change.
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37k a year isn't bad at all. You may not be able to go anywhere where you work now but years of management experience can definitely get you something more elsewhere. I was helped pretty heavily by connections but I was largely in the same position you are (no post hs education, management experience at "dead-end" jobs, plays too much videogames, etc) a few years ago but all it took for it to get better was for me to try to make it better.
I'm not going to college or anything because i'm lazy and lack ambition but once I actually went looking, it was extremely eye opening for me to find out how many employers value work experience as something on the same level as a degree.
You could, of course, goto school if you want to as well. That's the sensible option and it's what I would've done if I wasn't a huge blob of apathy.
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there's a billion people starving in the world
no, it doesn't suck to be you.
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Canada6330 Posts
baller won the thread already but I still felt compelled to post...
1. As some mentioned above, get a "serious" hobby!
2. Go for part-time community college education, perhaps for a technical degree (like computer hardware or something, which you're already good at).
3. Since you're not bad-looking and good at language, chill at casual bars/pubs and talk to strangers and just fuck around. Although I'm not good at this, I sometimes tag along good looking white friends (tough for an average looking Asian guy to hit up a random conversation anywhere) and just meet new people.
4. Play SCBW or SC2 because yeah. It's TL, what do you expect?
Honestly saying, almost any career will involve hours of grinding hours of work.
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To be honest, your situation is the situation I really don't want to find myself in. But realistically its still a lot better off than A LOT of other people out there.
You've made yourself a pretty good foundation man. All that's left for you to do, is ANYTHING. Really just anything. I don't recommend MLG though, I say you should travel a bit, look for different things you can try out. But more importantly, rather just looking, TRY NEW THINGS OUT!
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Canada2492 Posts
my sub philosophy prof probably makes less than you and doesn't have steady work. he has a phd.
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On October 28 2010 22:08 grats wrote:
1) Military
2) Get a job in a technical career in it.
3) Save 60-70% of your paychecks.
4) Once you get out get put a down payment on a house get a new job in your field (you will have a lot of experience).
5) Join reserves.
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To sum it up you now job security a home and should be making decent money.
yeah. if you are a mechanic/medic/military intelligence it's really easy to get a job...
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I would say you need a plan for the next 5 years. The truth is you don't want to be stuck at 30 and still cutting pizzas and I think this is the reason you post this blog because deep in your mind you realize this.
Seriously bro, you are looking at this all the wrong way. So what if you don't have a degree? You have job and that give you options and right now you need to tough it out. It's never too late to start your career/life.
Move back to your parents, SAVE hard. Go back to school and pick something you like and study your ass off so you can get that internship or what ever it is you are after.
Don't think of this as a step backward, as long you have a plan and you follow it you will be alright.
And don't think that you are so far behind because all your mates have already gone to school and done with their studies, if anything it gave you an edge because if you go back to study now after working your ass at some shitty job you will appreciate it more.
I wish I had worked a few years before gone to college, I can guarantee you my attitude and motivation would be totally different after getting owned by real world.
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You sound like me before I joined the navy.
Free college education, rent, and job training.
I'm a cryptologic technician, so when I get out of the military, I have a guarenteed 6 figure job in the civilian world with the NAS.
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Thanks for all of the warm replies people. I took a little hiatus from forum'ing, and forgot about the post. I'll try to reply to the ones that stand out!
On October 28 2010 21:02 munchmunch wrote:
Have you thought of trying religion? I don't mean to suggest this superficially, and I apologize if you already have strong religious beliefs. But if you don't, there are a wide range of religious and religious-type communities out there, although something in the line of modern protestantism is probably the easiest for the typical North American to fit into. The reason I suggest it: churches are a great place to meet women who are interested in marrying and settling down. Also, depending on the denomination you can get involved by leading a youth group, helping homeless people, or visiting elderly, all of which can really help give you a sense of purpose in life.
Yeah I can't do religion. I'm quite the atheist hehe. I was raised in a fundamentalist church, with a fundamentalist abusive father. Actually I think about this a lot, if only I could believe in the fairy tales I would be more successful with women, since the church girls usually like me, until they find out I'm an atheist, then their belief systems conflict with our attraction.
On October 28 2010 20:14 Thrill wrote:
Well, your first vacation in 7 years was going to MLG?
Here's what you'll do..
You'll save up - book the tickets then go backpacking/traveling.
Your job doesn't feel fulfilling as it's not a means to an end - you never really see the benefit of the money you earn outside of survival. If you spend your accumulated funds while seeing the world - you'll feel a lot better about your situation and quite possibly find an angle as to what you want to do.
Even if you HATE it - that just means you'll appreciate coming home and the life you've already built for yourself that much more. Also - if what you're saying is true and you're "not bad looking" - you WILL end up hooking up with equally confused girls from around the world when you're staying at various hostels, you might even find someone special who you'd never had met otherwise.
Well it WILL be MLG. I'm going to Dallas. I do want to travel around the world as well. Japan is the first country I want to visit, have a good friend and his wife that live there, and studied the language for 2 years (but forgot a lot of it now, been 5 years since college).
As for the hostel advice, yeah I don't think that's for me haha. Not really into the whole prostitution idea.
On October 28 2010 21:46 s.Q.uelched wrote:
I think you should make your life Pizza and BW, that way you cannot not be happy.
Haha, pizza and sc2 more like it. I missed out on the days of BW somehow, yet I was always into RTS. It's weird to love RTS and not be into BW, honestly. I like it now in retrospect, and I watch the Korean progamers from time to time and have a pretty deep appreciation of their skill and strategies.
On October 28 2010 22:08 grats wrote:
1) Military
2) Get a job in a technical career in it.
3) Save 60-70% of your paychecks.
4) Once you get out get put a down payment on a house get a new job in your field (you will have a lot of experience).
5) Join reserves.
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To sum it up you now job security a home and should be making decent money.
Actually I thought about this, but I am incredibly pacifistic.
On October 28 2010 23:30 Tien wrote:
Go back to college bro.
Move back in with your parents if you have to.
You seem smart enough, gtfo of this pizza life.
Can't move back in with my Mom, I moved out because she got married. It actually was a good thing for me to move out because I have grown significantly as a result. I want to find a way to live on my own, work, and go to college, and not fail at it, but it feels like I will.
On October 29 2010 04:23 fredd wrote:
there's a billion people starving in the world
no, it doesn't suck to be you.
True, no denying that, just was feeling rather pathetic when I wrote this.
I do feel a lot better after reading all of the replies, I'm going to try and take the advice.
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I was expecting some Avenue Q when I opened this topic. = /
OP, it seems like you are being hard on yourself because you don't own a mansion and a yacht yet. I think the position you're at now is reasonable; it's not stellar, but you shouldn't be reaching for the stars yet anyway. I don't have much else to say that hasn't been mentioned, but keep at it, man. Long as you try your best, you'll get what you want in life.
+ Show Spoiler +Or you could fail utterly and miserably. What do I know? Just make sure your underlings at the pizza place don't confuse the cheese with the arsenic or something, 'kay?
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Don't have much to say except don't think getting married will solve your problems. Get your shit together first before even contemplating marriage. If anything not being married is a plus for you right now as
37k, 25 year old, single sounds a lot better than 40k, 30 year old, divorced, supporting 2 kids.
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37k is decent man; how much do you need anyway? Before I started university I was making 25k a year paying my way through community college/ living by myself and I did just fine (This in the Bay Area, CA). So money is not a problem for you. Just like everyone else said: Take care of yourself first, find stuff that makes you happy, do things you enjoy, try new stuff!. Eventually you'll meet someone who just clicks with you and yeah you shouldn't start worrying about being single until you're past your mid thirties. Good Luck! =]
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You have a job (which isn't badly paid at all), you live in an apartment, you say you're not bad looking.
You have a pretty damn good life if you ask me. One that I'm envious of and would love to have.
All I can do is repeat what others have said, especially in regards to schooling. It will remove some of the free time you use to think about the negative things, and will make it seem like your life is not at a complete standstill.
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Hey OP, I'm glad you came back to read this.
I'll send you a pm too, but it is also a good idea to post here. It seems to me that you are comparing your life to that of the people around you. Your friends are doing much better than you.
Well what if you were to live in a third world country; very poor, but everything else is the same for you. Everyone doesn't have much food to eat. Every day is a struggle to survive. Everyone around you has untreated diseases. Children die on a weekly basis. Or maybe we'll take it a step up.
You live in urban China, you still have a 37k job. An apartment. Your looks. The people in the apartment near you make a third of your salary. They work long hours in a factory. The work is tiring. All they do is work, rest and play games when they get home. You'd feel like a success next to these people.
What I'm trying to say, is maybe instead of being the small fish in the big pond, you should try to be the big fish in the small pond. There are many towns that are cheap to live in. If your friends were all drug addicts going to prison you'd feel a lot better than them too. Personal happiness can be a relative thing. People are happy when they do better than the people around them. Maybe you should find a place where you can lower your standards.
I'm not saying you shouldn't try to improve your life. I'm saying you should also try to make your surroundings more friendly.
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Up and downs of life. You do not know where life will take you don't assume you will be where you are right now in 10 years time.
On October 28 2010 13:57 Aberu wrote:
Most video games are dead to me as well. Starcraft 2 is like the only thing I play. I used to be that guy that would be excited about every rpg coming out and play them whenever they did, had so much passion. Now they just all feel like they suck, including the big name ones (Dragon Quest IX, FFXIII, new Tales games).
These games do suck though. Dw, you haven't 'grown out' of these games. It's just that these new 'big name' games suck.
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It's called a quarter life crisis and 37k is pretty good man.
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37k.........it would take me 4 years to make that.....
cant you like, quit your job, go randomly live in spain for a year or something?
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On November 02 2010 21:39 InFdude wrote:
Didn't read what you wrote but if you start a topic like this - yes it does suck to be you.
unacceptable lol :p
On October 29 2010 06:04 Snuggles wrote:
To be honest, your situation is the situation I really don't want to find myself in. But realistically its still a lot better off than A LOT of other people out there.
You've made yourself a pretty good foundation man. All that's left for you to do, is ANYTHING. Really just anything. I don't recommend MLG though, I say you should travel a bit, look for different things you can try out. But more importantly, rather just looking, TRY NEW THINGS OUT!
basically, this. i wouldn't want to be where you are, but your life isn't one that is devastating or without hope. you have resources. you aren't tied down, you have an income, you have youth on your side. find a hobby that will give you the opportunity to meet other interesting people. don't feel inadequate because your life isn't deemed "successful" by your peers' standards -- think about what makes you happy and pursue that.
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Actually, I've found that the people who have the suck-iest lives don't complain.
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EPT
