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I'm in the "finding responsibility" phase of my life atm. I think the answer to most things comes in confidence. I also like the Bob Dylan quote, "Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be." I think that is really true in a lot of cases. I never saw Rocky Balboa but after this scene I might have to, even though I never really got into the whole Rocky craze. Maybe I should. I'm trying to find the man inside me that can lead the boy I currently feel I am through his life as a confident, independent individual.
I really love this type of discussion. It always makes me feel that I CAN do it, even if I'm not thinking that I'm very empowered. Thanks for this post.
Edit: the longer version of this speech almost made me cry
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negative emotion only serves to prevent future events that hurt you. if you get ripped off buying a car, the bad feeling of getting ripped off serves only to keep you from making the same mistake. other than that, that bad feeling only makes your life worse. if you can understand the situation and realize this, then it's possible to eliminate that bad feeling and also keep this as a learning experience so you don't get ripped off in the future.
and i apply this to everything. of course, it doesn't work all the time, since i'm a human and i get emotional, but it HAS helped me cope with whatever's thrown at me. get stuck in traffic and be late to work? being angry just makes your day worse. i say, understand this and make the best of the situation. recognize that you made a mistake (going to work without taking into consideration the traffic), deal with it (apologize to boss, work extra hard, arrive at work earlier next few times, don't make the same mistake for other errands), and be content with the current situation. i'm not saying be content with being late, but understanding that there is nothing you can do at the moment that can solve the problem (getting to work on time), so there is no reason to rage.
that's the backbone of my 'support' when life is sucking. dealing with it and knowing that i did my best. because i believe that there is only one possible way anything and everything could have happened. "People make their free choices in any given situation because, by their personalities, they could have made no other choice.... you create the universe as you go. You can choose to make it however you want, but realize that your life could be no other way, because you chose to make it so. Not because life chose for you."
and in addition to that, of course you have a family to fall back on.
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i was talking to my brother about this last week
family is belief in each other. support and consideration under the assumption of unreasonable, unthinking positives in the other person's behavior and circumstance. it is, as travis would say, fundamentally mired in purposeful ignorance, but in a beautiful way. and this faith is the source of the strength that allows you to kick ass and take names. so carry on!
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Yo I dunno how old you guys are or what you guys do for a living right but I'm 21 and moved out long time ago. When I say family it's just like the odd call here and there and just me thinking of memories. I always have this fear one day I might not have this anymore but struggle to get find this strength on my own.
Yo ieatkids5 that's some good stuff man. I have a tendency to get hotheaded when shit doesn't go as planned because I invest so much time just planning trying not miss things. What do you do or how do you cope with regret then?
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Hmm regret? I pretty much think about that the same way as I view getting angry in the short run. It's something that happened, and there's nothing you can do to change it. The only thing to do is to learn from it, do what you can to improve the situation, and not regret it. And this is something that's easily said, but very hard to do. I don't think there's a special method or trick I use to convince myself not to regret something. It takes time and a strong mind.
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I found to make change or to build inner strength for me has everything to do with action. With pretty much anything in life, you are your only barrier, it's wild how true this is. If I want to practice my instrument for 3 hours, (or SC or whatever) all I do is just say "Ok, I'm going to sit down and do this, take a couple quick breaks but I won't leave until this is done" . Then, despite mental fatigue or that weariness, I just keep going . You just have to say no to giving up.
So I started with little things. Actually, recently I've realized how much I dislike starting my day by going on the computer ,even though I do it all the time. So now when I wake up, instead of lurching over to it, I just lurch somewhere else and instead of getting caught reading wikipedia or TL all morning, I'm usually reading a book about something I care about, or practicing or just sitting outside, and just like wikipedia/ youtube, these things lead to other things.
I don't regret anything either.
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sometimes, i plan my life like 4-5 steps ahead, thinking that it wiill help me move forward with my career. Many times life shot down all of my plans time after time and its really depressing. What I do is just take a day break to recompose. Realize that I only exhausted the methods I thought of and there are probably more that I haven;t through of and replan.
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EPT
