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Hey TL I am writing to you this morning after what just happened about 1 hour ago. I really want to hear your opinions as to how i could have avoided or made the situation better. Because right now it has spiraled out of control and i have no idea what i am going to do about it, once the opposing party comes home from a road trip. I need your advice more than i ever have TL- because this is going to determine a really large step for me in my life.
The story:
This morning at 6:30 / 6:45 am me and one of my parents were going to drive down to my college and clear my room of the belongings inside. Because i will be transferring schools, i need to make sure that my room is clear, and that my new room has everything it needs. So i set my alarm for 6 and got ready. I showered and then came down stairs to my parents office at 6:15. Once there we both said good morning, and then my parental asked me for the thank you letter I had written. Because the parental did not have time to personally review it last night, parental wanted it now.
So i went upstairs and retrieved the letter. It was very short- and I had written it inside of ten min. However that was not the issue when i had brought it down stairs. I am simply going to post the letter heading, and I am going to ask anyone that is in a professional field where i went so wrong. I created the heading from simply looking at a google image that showed the correct way to set a business heading.
The Heading:
Wednesday, January 2010
John Smith, BSN, MS
1111 Green Road
Somewhere, Anyplace 11111
Dear John Smith:
_______________________________________________________
Now that was what i had originally had. According to the web page that showed how to create a business heading, that was the proper way to address the letter. Upon showing my parental this letter- it asked me what is wrong with the letter. When i responded with "I don't know" and "I simply copied a sample business heading online, the parental said these exact words: You are a fucking idiot. This is not the correct way to address a fucking business letter. The parental pointed out to me that the date was written oddly, and i agreed- however i simply said that is why I had asked him to review it last night (when the parental did not have time i guess.)
Parental then had a problem with the Semicolon after dear. While i fully understand that a comma is normally after dear, the sample showed a semicolon so that is what i placed. I was also called an idiot again, and upon having a business letter from my parental shoved into my face, was told to fix this. Walking out of the parentals study, parental said over their shoulder that its pathetic that i had made this kind of mistake, and it's a fucking joke that i need to look this letter over.
A bit angry I quickly sat down to fix the mistakes on my letter, by just copying the letter that was handed to me. However i noticed that the only change I needed to make was the date. Which instead read- January 13, 2010. However what struck me was the fact that in this letter, a semicolon (not a comma) appeared after Dear as well. Becoming very angry for having been yelled at, and humiliated inside of 10min of being awake I walked back upstairs and showed the parental this discrepancy.
Handing the paper to the parental I told it that in no uncertain terms am i a fucking idiot, and there plain as day is a semi colon on the letter you supposedly said to copy. Just like my original letter. Walking out the room I was going to print out said letter from my printer, when all hell broke loose. Storming into the computer room the parental started to yell, and told me to not be a smart ass. Parental pushed me into the wall and proceeded to tell me that "so this is how it's going to be?" When i am paying for your college and all of this shit, this is what I get?
Basically long story short- because of all this the following ended up happening:
Parental took my room keys, and ID card and is now driving 2.5 hours away to get 'parentals stuff' out of 'parentals room' because my parents split the cost of college with me by graciously covering my room and board.
So here i sit, shaken and not sure what to do when parental comes back. I was not allowed to drive there to pick up my belongings, and when i called again was also told that i would be of no use... So i am stuck sitting at home.
the most important question TL is this: I don't care who is right or wrong, I am probably in the wrong i guess... But what do i do to make this situation better when the parental gets home?
I realize that there is bias in my story because i had written it.. But to the more senior members of TL and parents especially, what can i do to fix this situation? Because i am still going to be living at home for 2 more weeks. Thanks a lot guys and gals.
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just say, look dad/mum im sorry things got out of control and im sorry i didn't mean it that way... and if he is really your parents they will forgive you. (even though you may feel you haven't done anything wrong)
and i think its wrong for your parents to say shit like "i'm paying for your college and shit blah blah"
they had sex, they wanted a kid and they got you so saying that sort of rubbish seems ironic probably just had a bad day and bad choice of words i guess but shit hits the fan
this doesn't really sound like a MASSSSSSSSSSSSSSIVE problem but im sure time will get things better.. don't worry too much and just relax son
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punch your dad in the face for being a dick head
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konadora
Singapore66158 Posts
I never heard of this term being used by itself before (in Singapore), so I want to ask, what is "parental"?
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a parent
like mother or father
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i am not sure, but i have made up / been using the word to refer to parents.
"my parental units said that i could come over to your house'
"The parentals want me back by 11"
I don't know if that helps but i don't think that it really is a word in the dictionary.
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konadora
Singapore66158 Posts
lol no wonder I couldn't understand what was going on.. ok.
*continues to read*
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From what you've written, he's a complete asshole.
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konadora
Singapore66158 Posts
Ok.. uh
Wtf is with your dad?
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wtf. The parental was totally unreasonable
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Is this very sudden or something? I would have imagined you to be already used to this.
Why are you switching colleges?
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On January 15 2010 23:36 Cloud wrote:
Is this very sudden or something? I would have imagined you to be already used to this.
Why are you switching colleges?
Because i am going into an accelerated program and i don't want to go the slow way lol
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no idea what nationality or culture you are from, but where i come from any parents who act the way yours have, would be considered borderline psychotic.
in fact, i would consider that verbal and physical abuse.
To me it sounds like your relationship with your parents is more like a business relationship. If it were me i would want to try to build a more friendship relationship with them. Maybe they need to get to know you better or maybe you need to get to know them.
I think that by the time you are an adult, your parents should treat you like an adult and not like a dog. but you will need to put that aside and forgive them if you want the situation to improve. If you want them to understand you, you might need to make an effort and open up.
if your culture doesn't permit this, then just be aware that there are others which do.
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On January 15 2010 23:48 Wretched wrote:
no idea what nationality or culture you are from, but where i come from any parents who act the way yours have, would be considered borderline psychotic.
in fact, i would consider that verbal and physical abuse.
To me it sounds like your relationship with your parents is more like a business relationship. If it were me i would want to try to build a more friendship relationship with them. Maybe they need to get to know you better or maybe you need to get to know them.
I think that by the time you are an adult, your parents should treat you like an adult and not like a dog. but you will need to put that aside and forgive them if you want the situation to improve. If you want them to understand you, you might need to make an effort and open up.
if your culture doesn't permit this, then just be aware that there are others which do.
I am 21 years old. I am white middle class americana.
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As stupid and illogical your parental's action was, you should still apologize and make amends for it. Yes, it's dumb and pointless but parents are used to being right with their kids "just because" and with you a good 21 years so far. They're not about to change anytime soon and you'll eventually find that there are other things worth stressing and being angry over. Pick your battles, and honestly if your parents are there to fix your mistakes, at least you have someone there to fix them.
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No offence, but if you are on an accelerated college program how can you mange to write something so difficult to read? I honestly thought English was your second language after reading your OP. Most people in an english speaking country would refer to their 'parentals' as "parents" or "dad" or "father".
Parent is the noun. Parental is more like an adjective.
I also don't understand why you had to write a thank you letter? And who it was for? And why it matters a rats why it needs to be formatted so perfectly?
edit: Just looked up parentals, and it can be used as a noun. I am surprised because i have NEVER heard it used like that before. Maybe its more common in America? you crazy Americans butchering the english language hahah!
edit 2: its still stupid, why would you add unnecessary letters and syllables onto a well established word?
edit 3: none of my spell checkers recognize parentals as a word
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If this is exactly as it happened then it's your parents who have anger management issues. Also, ";" is a semicolon, the punctuation to which you are referring (":") is a colon. Colons are commonly used after the Dear name in formal letters, whereas commas are for personal letters. So--at least as I learned it--your original is correct for a formal business letter, however you're just calling the colon a semicolon.
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Your parent was probably just pissed off about something or a whole different lot of things - clearing out their schedule by doing extra work the night before so they could wake up at 6AM and drive 2 hours to do physical labor doesn't sound like a lot of fun, and in the end when you came with your letter it was probably just another little thing. Try and understand things from his point of view.
That being said, he/she does have a temper/anger issues. This isn't something you can really change though you can point it out to them in more neutral settings; your parent's going to have to realize what effects their behavior has on other people before they can change.
In the case that they might realize that what they did/said to you was probably a Bad Thing To Do, take the initiative and apologize - be sincere about it. You may not feel like you did anything wrong (which is fine), but simply taking responsibility for helping to create the situation no matter what you did is the mature thing to do. Apologize anyway, even if they don't... they might have a realization then.
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yeah i guess apologizing is the best way to make it all better
maybe do something for them which shows that you appreciate them? For my parents that would be helping with the housework.
make yourself helpful and don't be a slob while you're around them
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Calgary25980 Posts
This is seriously fucked up. I find the best way to act in this situation where someone is enraged is to stay ridiculously calm but firm.
For example: "You fucking idiot, of course you use a comma."
You: "I've never seen that before, I assumed both were acceptable. But I'm not a fucking idiot, I've just never done this before."
But it sounds like you did that so I can't offer anything except deal with this problem directly and firmly instead of letting the situation build into a passive aggressive place where no one is talking to each other.
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On January 15 2010 23:06 JohnColtrane wrote:
punch your dad in the face for being a dick head
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On January 15 2010 23:06 JohnColtrane wrote:
punch your dad in the face for being a dick head
Yea!!! Punch your dad's head in the dick!
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On January 16 2010 01:27 Chill wrote:
This is seriously fucked up. I find the best way to act in this situation where someone is enraged is to stay ridiculously calm but firm.
For example: "You fucking idiot, of course you use a comma."
You: "I've never seen that before, I assumed both were acceptable. But I'm not a fucking idiot, I've just never done this before."
That. Stay calm and rational, and choose your words/tone wisely as you don't want to add fuel to the fire. Usually people tend to calm down when they realize they're they only one yelling and being angry.
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Calgary25980 Posts
On January 16 2010 02:00 jambonkingcool wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2010 01:27 Chill wrote:
This is seriously fucked up. I find the best way to act in this situation where someone is enraged is to stay ridiculously calm but firm.
For example: "You fucking idiot, of course you use a comma."
You: "I've never seen that before, I assumed both were acceptable. But I'm not a fucking idiot, I've just never done this before." That. Stay calm and rational, and choose your words/tone wisely as you don't want to add fuel to the fire. Usually people tend to calm down when they realize they're they only one yelling and being angry.
Further, if you can think ahead, avoid phrases that are going to cause problems. Don't say sorry or apologize because you've done nothing wrong. Don't use phrases like "I'm trying my best" because that will lead to more comments about how your best sucks etc.
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On January 16 2010 00:21 Wretched wrote:
No offence, but if you are on an accelerated college program how can you mange to write something so difficult to read? I honestly thought English was your second language after reading your OP. Most people in an english speaking country would refer to their 'parentals' as "parents" or "dad" or "father".
Parent is the noun. Parental is more like an adjective.
I also don't understand why you had to write a thank you letter? And who it was for? And why it matters a rats why it needs to be formatted so perfectly?
edit: Just looked up parentals, and it can be used as a noun. I am surprised because i have NEVER heard it used like that before. Maybe its more common in America? you crazy Americans butchering the english language hahah!
edit 2: its still stupid, why would you add unnecessary letters and syllables onto a well established word?
edit 3: none of my spell checkers recognize parentals as a word
Agreed with this guy. You plan on going to an accelerated program with this English? Everything I have seen you write has been extremely awkward to read, which personally rubs me a bad way before even thinking about the content you post
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Hey thanks for all of the support guys. I suppose that keeping a cool head is probably the best thing to do at this point. I think that laying low is probably the best. Then when both parties have cooled down, we can talk it out rationally i hope.
For the grammar Nazi- Sorry that my English was sub par. My only excuse was it was 6:30am I had 5 hours of sleep, and had just gotten through this yelling fest 10 min prior to writing. I was emotionally hot headed and just needed to blow off steam. So i typed, and played some SC. Sorry that this work is not Pulitzer worthy.
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Your "parental" is probably trying to find a way to stop paying for your education.
You can try to be calm, but I dont think it will help in any way.
January 13, 2010
When I see dates like this I nearly cry; it's a bit better than 1 13 2010 though.
Why cant people write yyyy mm dd or dd mm yyyy?
Writing the date otherwise is retarded; because of this bullshit months need to be written with a word.
I dont think people from usa know roman numerals so 13 I 2010 is out of the question too.
This seems unimportant, but believe me, it makes you wanna cry when you have a lot of documents.
I also hate people who dont write a short description in the beginning of the letter; the dreaded title in a letter is so damn useful, yet so discouraged..
I once had to read like 3000 letters of a manager that quit/got booted/w/e and it would nearly make me cry when I learned wtf is the letter about only after reading half of it.
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Hm... not much to contribute after Chill's post. I completely agree with what the above posts have said. You're definitely not in the wrong.
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Your mom/dad is the one that is wrong. That is intolerable behavior from a parent. It sounds like they are emotionally abusive, and maybe even physically (pushed into the wall). That is absurd of them to react in any way close to that. You did nothing wrong. They are just fucking stupid...
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never try to talk/argue with your parents when both of you are in an emotional state. It makes matters worse and you end up both saying stuff you dont mean.
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On January 16 2010 02:03 Pokebunny wrote:Show nested quote +On January 16 2010 00:21 Wretched wrote:
No offence, but if you are on an accelerated college program how can you mange to write something so difficult to read? I honestly thought English was your second language after reading your OP. Most people in an english speaking country would refer to their 'parentals' as "parents" or "dad" or "father".
Parent is the noun. Parental is more like an adjective.
I also don't understand why you had to write a thank you letter? And who it was for? And why it matters a rats why it needs to be formatted so perfectly?
edit: Just looked up parentals, and it can be used as a noun. I am surprised because i have NEVER heard it used like that before. Maybe its more common in America? you crazy Americans butchering the english language hahah!
edit 2: its still stupid, why would you add unnecessary letters and syllables onto a well established word?
edit 3: none of my spell checkers recognize parentals as a word Agreed with this guy. You plan on going to an accelerated program with this English? Everything I have seen you write has been extremely awkward to read, which personally rubs me a bad way before even thinking about the content you post
Wow, you're right. That was completely helpful to the OP and not in any way unnecessary.
T_T
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I've never heard the word parentals so much in one thing. God damn does over-useage kill a word. Combined with references to 'it' and 'parental' makes you sound like the kid of a hermaphrodite. Clearly your family has issues that need to be worked at / resolved. You seem to be a pushover and they seem to be cocks. Only feuding followed by rebellion will fix this one as they probably wont want to go to family councelling which is what I think you need.
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On January 16 2010 02:29 Infested Terran wrote:Your "parental" is probably trying to find a way to stop paying for your education. You can try to be calm, but I dont think it will help in any way. When I see dates like this I nearly cry; it's a bit better than 1 13 2010 though. Why cant people write yyyy mm dd or dd mm yyyy? Writing the date otherwise is retarded; because of this bullshit months need to be written with a word. I dont think people from usa know roman numerals so 13 I 2010 is out of the question too. This seems unimportant, but believe me, it makes you wanna cry when you have a lot of documents. I also hate people who dont write a short description in the beginning of the letter; the dreaded title in a letter is so damn useful, yet so discouraged.. I once had to read like 3000 letters of a manager that quit/got booted/w/e and it would nearly make me cry when I learned wtf is the letter about only after reading half of it.
I don't see anything wrong with Jan 13, 2010... out of curiosity what country do you live in? the birthday on my driver's license is in 1 13 2010 format which is pretty retarded though. i agree dd/mm/yyyy is best but so is metric and you know how people don't like to change..
to the op, colon is actually correct, business letters should use that (its not a semicolon lol). but i like to use the comma just to be friendly, if for example i'm writing to a hr person i've talked to before. colon is generally reserved for people i've never contacted and "to whom it may concern"
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Keeping your cool is a very good idea but you need to ensure its succes and its just one element needed to fix it
You are not your emotions/beliefs/thoughts - anytime you feel them and they distract you - disengage from them, seperate from them by realizing this simple thing.
The situation is really not looking as bad as u might think.
The first thing you can do is to find out why this letter was so bad and find out how to make a correct one but if it ll take more than a few minutes then go on.
Keep your focus on being you, the one who stands behind the reasoning and logic and who is using it along with thoughs/emotions/beliefs as a tool to heal the situation.
Now look at the whole situation. I mean whole. Not just that your father got angry, not just the letter. Situation includes everything related to it.
Think what scenario do u want. You propably want your father understanding you and his negative attitudes to stop . Avoiding the consequences that are not just as well. You don`t diserve to be treated like shit , it isn`t just at all. Anything like getting your keys taken away - if they want good for you then they shouldn`t do it if you will prove them that you are intelligent and it was just a misjudgment of the situation from your side.
Think what are most important things about the whole situation :
a) You need to know how to ensure that u will do what needs to be done to cure this situation
b) To do this you need to change parental point of view so that he no longer holds some unrealistic, strict expectations that most propably caused all his anger. You need to understand his motives, reasoning, what are his values and foremost - how is it related to you.
c) To do this - use what makes people understand each other - its different from what u do when you try to prove others wrong or prove that what you say is right.
To make him understand - first understand him - ie say that you understand that he got angry , that it was because your mistake made his expectations about you a failed ones and that its natural to get angry when your expectations fail hard.
Then explain in a most reasonable , logical way - what really caused this whole argument ? It was the letter - then it was you who misjudged the situation and argued about being called an idiot for no reason when there was reason for it - then it was father who was annoyed even more for such ignorance from your side coupled by acting like a smartass when you were dead wrong.
That in his point of view it really does have to look like a serious fuck-up ..... but mb his expectations are a bit missjudged ? You didn`t realize that it might be so important to him. He didn`t want to take time to check your letter. Maybe it was because he never actually learned you the importance of such thing in any clear way which caused you to be unaware of this and behave like that.
Now you could say somthing like : "I`m sorry, I fucked up but you don`t have shout on me and call me a fucking idiot without even explaining it .... can you tell me why was this letter so bad and how can I correct whole this situation ?
To be sure - this is just an example - but you can extract the idea from it and use it accordingly to your knowledge of the details of the situation - it is your situation more than mine after all.
With such attitude you are aiming to actually trigger him to understand you and stop his unpleasant behavior - more importantly - stop him from taking away whats important for you.
However, to do so you need to present a solid and complete logic to him. First and foremost - all of what you say [b]has to be true from his point of view[b] . Preferably true overall because its more safe way but sometimes lie is a lot better thing for everyone than truth telling. Logic can tell.
Thats the key. If you will succed in making him believe that what you say is true indeed - you have 6/10 succes. 40 % is what you make him believe into.
This is not manipulation - this is correcting the situation and remember this all the time especially during the talk/talks - your aim is to correct it for everyone. That works.
PS.
You don`t need to talk asap when they get back. Think as broadly as possible.
You can manage , good luck.
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You are a fucking idiot. This is not the correct way to address a fucking business letter
lol I would not apologize after being called a "fucking idiot" ask them to enlighten you about the proper way to address a "fucking business letter". However don't get into a serious argument with your parents because they always win and do what they want especially when you depend on them for financial support.
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PS2 - Don`t follow any plans, beliefs, morals , thoughts etc. Follow yourself , the You who stands behind logic. Plans , beliefs etc - they are all tools for your intelligence , they serve humans - not the opposite .
This doesn`t mean to not make plans. Make them but remember to use them only when they will do good , don`t get the attitude to follow it no matter what. If the situation is getting in a scenario which your plan doesn`t exactly state what to do about or that states something which your logic disagrees with - don`t follow it , follow logic.
Ensure that you talk only about things that u understand - if u do not then let go or state that you don`t understand . If you even once get caught on talking bullshit - you may lose a lot.
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What I`m aiming to do is to give informations that will enable you to act in a lot more coherent way in regard to your current goal which is to fix this situation .
I ll make a try to make guidelines but what is the true source of power for problem-solving lies beyond definitions and words so it might require a very careful viewing.
I d call this to direct your creativity/intelligence into what you want instead of shooting blindly and relying on assumptions of what is what - which are in most cases very very wrong.
1. Think what is your true goal about the situation and if it is coherent to the most important values/goals in your entire life. Make it a directive - let yourself know that this is the directive and it is achieved - and now you r gonna find out how it is achieved.
2. Think how to achieve this goal - everything what u need to do/know/realize/learn/accept/disengage from in order to achieve it - IF the speed is important for situation , include the fastest possible method, the more top priority the more the time is important .
3. Explaining it here would take too long but - make your intention that the goal is good for everyone - it makes its chances to succes a lot better.
4. Follow the true logic which perceives that everything is connected in some way. Your father got angry but it is connected with his expectations, then beliefs, then what he experienced , then what situation he is right now at work/home/outside etc These all have meaning . Just remind yourself - you are n o t your thoughts/emotions/beliefs . You control them and to the degree you do not - you are not able to use them in order to fix the siutation. This simple realization gets you a whole lot more control over these. Keep yourself in this state and navigate , looking on the wholeness of situation with an insightful eye, where your logic is your best servant.
5. I said it already but its important - make your intentions good ones for everone. Let yourself masterfuly lead to their realization , without falling into the trap of beliefs/emotions/thoughts - instead remain in the state of navigating them.
6. Understand others - let them know that they are understood - chances that then they will want to understand you are very hight and in case of a familiy member its often sure. Then, in a skillful and intelligent way that you can well know - express the honest intention to fix the situation .
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On January 15 2010 23:36 iG.Zeep wrote:
your dad is a bitch
I think this person hit the nail on the head. It is not OK to call
anybody a "fucking idiot" for the kind of tiny mistake you made (if it even was a mistake), let alone your own son. Yelling and shoving you around is completely unacceptable as well.
I have no experience dealing with BS like that, so I don't really have any advice, but you should know that your dad was COMPLETELY out of line, and if things occurred as you described, there is no justification for his behavior. To be honest he sounds like a total jerk.
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On January 16 2010 05:14 Djabanete wrote:I think this person hit the nail on the head. It is not OK to call anybody a "fucking idiot" for the kind of tiny mistake you made (if it even was a mistake), let alone your own son. Yelling and shoving you around is completely unacceptable as well. I have no experience dealing with BS like that, so I don't really have any advice, but you should know that your dad was COMPLETELY out of line, and if things occurred as you described, there is no justification for his behavior. To be honest he sounds like a total jerk.
well said
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Yes I'm sure this is exactly how it happened and not at all like the other 10,000 blogs where people exaggerate how bad their parents are, but still live with them at age 21.
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My guess is that OP behaves like a child i.e. I CANT HELP AT HOME I GO TO COLLEGE  and that his parents are fed up with his childish attitude.
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you deserved it for all the shitty rage posts you made
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On January 16 2010 00:21 Wretched wrote:
No offence, but if you are on an accelerated college program how can you mange to write something so difficult to read? I honestly thought English was your second language after reading your OP. Most people in an english speaking country would refer to their 'parentals' as "parents" or "dad" or "father".
Parent is the noun. Parental is more like an adjective.
I also don't understand why you had to write a thank you letter? And who it was for? And why it matters a rats why it needs to be formatted so perfectly?
edit: Just looked up parentals, and it can be used as a noun. I am surprised because i have NEVER heard it used like that before. Maybe its more common in America? you crazy Americans butchering the english language hahah!
edit 2: its still stupid, why would you add unnecessary letters and syllables onto a well established word?
edit 3: none of my spell checkers recognize parentals as a word
not sure if i can say it in a non-offensive way
youre an idiot
OP, i feel bad for you. Do as they wish, not like you have any options
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You need to straighten out your dad. You are being abused and it seems to me you've gotten used to it.
First, if someone yells at you and calls you a fucking idiot, that is not acceptable. This is unless you deliberately have done something extraordinary vicious. It's not more acceptable because he is your parent, it's not more acceptable because he pays for your college. On the other hand, some people has difficulties holding their temper or just have ha hard time communicating. Usually "you're a funking idiot" can be translated to "you're wrong and I'm angry at you, but I cannot explain why".
My advise: If you know your dad has a temper and he starts yelling then tell him that he'll get another chance to lecture you when he has calmed down and just walk away. If you father respects you, he won't go after you.
Pushing you up against the wall means something more along the lines of "It doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, obey me!". This kind of "physical humiliation" tactics are even more intolerable and valids an aggressive protest on your part. Personally I would either shout at him repeatedly to put me down (until he does) or kick him in the nuts to get free.
You must understand that this is not a healthy relationship and that you yourself have to make it change. Whatever your mistake was, it was nothing compared to your dads response. By apologising to him when he behaves like this you elevate his authority and encourage his bad behaviour.
It will not be easy, but to be able to change your dads misbehaviour, you have to change yours.
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On January 20 2010 00:19 Blueblister wrote:
You need to straighten out your dad. You are being abused and it seems to me you've gotten used to it.
I agree, it is unacceptable. You will be looking for reasons for why you should tolerate it, money, dependancy etc. It doesn't matter if you're afraid it's unacceptable and you will be a better person for yourself and your friends if you cut the crap and shut down the abuse. You can do it.
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Norway28659 Posts
your dad is a complete jackass who really really needs some counciling. no parent should ever call his or her children "a fucking idiot" for making a trivial mistake. This is going to be very difficult for you to do, but you absolutely need to distance yourself from him, because there's no great tragedy as reoccurent as "child gets abused by parent but ends up being a virtually identical parent him or herself".
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Baa?21242 Posts
I can't beleive so many people are so worked up over the dad calling his kid an idiot. So oversensitive lol. OP is in fucking college not a five year old.
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On January 20 2010 03:02 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
I can't beleive so many people are so worked up over the dad calling his kid an idiot. So oversensitive lol. OP is in fucking college not a five year old.
I don't think people mind that the parents calling the son an idiot or whatever but more the "fucking idiot" and also the holding him up against the wall thing.
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I would comment but I found the whole post to be extremely perplexing to read. So your dad got mad at you for using a semi-colon over a comma in a opening greeting? Are they your biological parents? Well, I guess let some time pass by and reassess the situation.
These caretakers of yours seem to be really unreasonable. How angry do you have to be at life to actually be angry over something like a writing error?
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Seriously, what crawled up your dad's ass? Telling someone, "a fuckin idiot" to especially your son over a comma and a semi colon.
What I suggest is apologize (you might not have done anything wrong but...) and don't do something reckless like yell and try to fight back because things will get even more complicated between you guys.
Damn.
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On January 20 2010 01:33 Liquid`Drone wrote:
This is going to be very difficult for you to do, but you absolutely need to distance yourself from him, because there's no great tragedy as reoccurent as "child gets abused by parent but ends up being a virtually identical parent him or herself".
Well, as drastic as it might seem distancing is actually a good self preservation technique if all else fails. First I would try to personally communicate one on one though (my guess it will be hard getting him to agree to counseling at this stage), that and start using the distancing method of walking away from outburst.
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Baa?21242 Posts
On January 20 2010 12:15 13ThirtySeven wrote:
Sue him.
Sue the guy for calling you a fucking idiot, despite having helped you pay for college Yes, I'm sure that's a won case.
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EPT
