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Ok I usually would never post a question about relationships so do not consider this one. I just want you guys to share your experiences with the matter.
My girlfriend, I have known for about three years but we just recently got together because she broke up with her dumbass boyfriend who wanted to marry her or some shit. She is really cute and smart (is going for a PHD) and i find her pretty sexy too. The problem is that she lives the most sheltered life ever. Her parents are fucking nazis when it comes to letting her go places. I can only see her every so often which is complete bullshit.
Ok here is the part I want you guys to respond to...
She always wants to talk on the phone and I can literally say NOTHING except a few yeas and uh huhs every few minutes and she just keeps talking and talking about the lamest shit you can think of.. Because she doesn't do fucking anything!
The problem is she has a great personality and if she got the chance would be AWESOME. I really like her deep down but its getting on my nerves pretty badly.
She would have no idea if i looked for someone else but it would crush her.
update
Ok I know you guys love blogs with pictures so here is another one of my GF I shot when she came over yesterday.
+ Show Spoiler +
So far things have been looking up! She doesn't call me for hours anymore but just asks me to call her sometimes so I think she gets the picture that phone calls are lame as fuck. Her friends are back in town where she lives and I love seeing her have fun finally (most of her close friends were gone for a while so she didn't have shit to do which is why I found out she was being so clingy).
We spent alot of time together this weekend and her awesome side came out for a bit :DD
So to all of you who said "keep waiting" you were right and I wanna say that it was good advice.
Peace
 
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Sit down with her parents and seriously talk to them about this. I don't think it's been attempted before 
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konadora
Singapore66364 Posts
if you get together with her, it sounds like you're gonna have a rough time
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Tell her exactly this. If you plan on doing something big together, you want a relationship that's all open and truth.
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On December 31 2009 14:11 Hypnosis wrote:(is going for a PHD)
Her parents are fucking nazis when it comes to letting her go places.
How old is she? How do her parents control her if she's smart and older than 18?
On December 31 2009 14:11 Hypnosis wrote:
Ok here is the part I want you guys to respond to...
Oops. Oh well.
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If shes older than 18 years old tell her to tell her parents they can't control her anymore o.o
Wtf, if I was 18 and my parents were still telling me what to do I would leave, just leave.
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Yea the other problem is that she lives 2 fuckin hours away so I cant really do this easily. Although I have no problem confronting her haha I just never see her and doing it over the phone is pussy shit.. She is 19... I just know she's awesome and when she can do what she wants it will be worth the wait. If i break it off now she will still like me but I don;t want to hurt her..
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If you can't stand to talk about useless shit and she's going for a PhD so she doesn't have much time as it is... i'd say leave it be for now
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2 hours away?
Try finding someone more convenient.
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If she's 19 shouldn't she be off to college (read: away from parents) then? Or is she commuting from home to college?
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On December 31 2009 14:39 Whiplash wrote:
2 hours away?
Try finding someone more convenient.
She is the person i like right now..
She will be moving soon to fort collins which is alot closer as well.
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On December 31 2009 14:35 Aurious wrote:
If you can't stand to talk about useless shit and she's going for a PhD so she doesn't have much time as it is... i'd say leave it be for now
Its mostly shit like "six months ago when i went camping with nick we made smores over the fire and they were really good! And then nick told a story to try and scare us but it didn't work so we laughed hahahahah". Thats so fucking lame.
This isn't ALL the time so it is not too bad but damn sometimes,..
It's not like she wont listen to me talk but im not the type to just talk all day and complain about having migraines every day. Drink some water. Rest a but. There is nothing you can do about it but those two things..
Her: Hey Baby. My headache came back.
Me: Aww sorry  Feel better for me!
Her: Ok, so whacha doin?
Me: Uhh chillin with "insert name" smokin Lol
Her: Fun Fun. I wish you were here so we could smoke together
Me: I know babe. You have to figure out a way to come down here!
Her: I know..
COME ON its only 2 hours and i drive up there every so often you can come here too. Plus there it's so boring hahaha fuck. But she's cuteieee Ill post a good picture of her if i can find one
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...If she's old enough to be going for a phd, she should ph.d., then should she be old enough to do stuff without supervision by her parents.
Don't go for anyone else. Talking about stupid bullshit is what girls do. Just go along with it, don't squander your opportunity.
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On December 31 2009 14:49 ghostWriter wrote:
...If she's old enough to be going for a phd, she should ph.d., then should she be old enough to do stuff without supervision by her parents.
Don't go for anyone else. Talking about stupid bullshit is what girls do. Just go along with it, don't squander your opportunity.
I know I am leaning towards this naturally but just seeing if anyone else has any similar experiences :D
It's more of a rant.
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Personally when i like someone it doesn't matter if what she is talking about is stupid shit or not, it doesn't annoy me because it's coming from her voice thats just me
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look around and dont tell her. She is a great woman, dont hurt her.
I love my girl, I havent seen her in 9 months... and we will meet in 2 months from now. She is a pain in the ass when we speak by phone.
I love her.
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On December 31 2009 14:57 coltrane wrote:
look around and dont tell her. She is a great woman, dont hurt her.
I love my girl, I havent seen her in 9 months... and we will meet in 2 months from now. She is a pain in the ass when we speak by phone.
I love her.
hahaha Yea, its not something you break up over though.. And i do like her voice!
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
Huh? 19 years old and going for PhD?
I must be either high or just fucking retarded. Why am I not going for my PhD?
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Probably going for her Ph.D like a middle school kid going for his degree at Harvard..
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I'd say it's more than annoying. I wouldn't put up w/ it and would snap fold after a few attempts at proper communication.
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On December 31 2009 15:20 Roffles wrote:
Huh? 19 years old and going for PhD?
I must be either high or just fucking retarded. Why am I not going for my PhD?
Haha, exactly what I was thinking. Here I am in my PhD program, and I'm 22...man I'm a chump, I could have been doing this 3 years ago
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Ok eventual PHD but I know she can do it. Yea now that I think about it she has no idea how to interact with people. Who just talks for 20 minutes straight about the dumbest shit ever? When dhe tries to talk about interesting things i listen and we have a great time it is just these ridiculous topics she gets on haha idk guys
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You should take lead of the conversation. Don't be a dick and cut her off but once she finishes one boring topic, change it to something better. You should also say that you'd love it if she came to visit sometimes.
Be a man. Make shit happen.
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What are these ridiculous topics that you're talking about, besides the headache example you gave earlier. Just trying to get a grasp on what you mean by that. And yeah, like the guy above me said, if you really are bothered by it, change the topic. Its not a conversation if only one person is involved, so get yourself involved with something you actually do want to talk about.
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On December 31 2009 14:41 Hypnosis wrote:
She is the person i like right now..
She will be moving soon to fort collins which is alot closer as well.
This is how you solve your issue. You wrote it.Just have patiente till she moves.
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suck it up. Eventually she will become awesome when she gets away from her parents and you'll probably regret it if you left her
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Most girls are like this. My last gf liked talking on the phone but we only talked for a few minutes cause it was the same situation. We had generic "I love you blahblah' kinda shit, a few "ya's" and then once that silence came she was happy leaving the phone; it was godsend. Guys never have shit to say pretty much but most girls are dumb and like having bad conversations on the phone. Get used to it I guess. Maybe eventually she will stop trying / get bored with meaningless conversations and hopefully that doesn't harm the relationship.
Or you can try to talk more.
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if you don't enjoy listening to her talking, especially if it's stuff she comes up with on her own, then you guys will never work out. dating her is a waste of time.
listen to me.. listen to these words..
the easiest, not the best(you'll understand this part later in life), but the easiest time you'll ever have in a relationship is during dating. if she annoys you in conversation, i don't see it getting better.
also worth noting: i'm sure you believe you have the whole story on the "jackass" of a boyfriend she had previously, but you don't. that story sounds sketchy to me, and i personally just think you need to turn tail on this one.
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It's not like her moving closer, forcing you to spend more time with her, will cause you to enjoy talking to her more. Its pretty much the same argument as "Well, if I marry this girl, it will solve all of our problems!"
or "having a child will make us closer!"
If you don't like talking to her, you have a problem that doesn't sound like it can be fixed.
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Can I still get those pics plz?
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I don't think she doesn't like talking to her. He said that this girl stays home all day and can't really talk about interesting things because she doesn't experience them in the first place. Maybe she'll become more interesting/fun to talk with after she moves out and things will turn out ok for them.Good luck!
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On December 31 2009 16:43 Sauron wrote:
I don't think she doesn't like talking to her. He said that this girl stays home all day and can't really talk about interesting things because she doesn't experience them in the first place. Maybe she'll become more interesting/fun to talk with after she moves out and things will turn out ok for them.Good luck!
This is the only good advice in this thread and it isn;t even advice LOL.
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On December 31 2009 16:16 MiniRoman wrote:
Most girls are like this. My last gf liked talking on the phone but we only talked for a few minutes cause it was the same situation. We had generic "I love you blahblah' kinda shit, a few "ya's" and then once that silence came she was happy leaving the phone; it was godsend. Guys never have shit to say pretty much but most girls are dumb and like having bad conversations on the phone. Get used to it I guess. Maybe eventually she will stop trying / get bored with meaningless conversations and hopefully that doesn't harm the relationship.
Or you can try to talk more.
This too makes sense, I mean it is reality..
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Thats assuming shes not content with the type of life she leads now. Lots of people rebel when they have really strict parents, this girl in particular seems to be fine with the way her life is going. I.E. when she is free of her parents, it wont be a night and day transformation where she goes out and starts getting wasted having crazy party stories (is that what you are looking for when you say she doesn't "experience" life???) and suddenly is able to converse with you for hours on end. It just seems like OP isn't interested in her overall likes and hobbies and those things never change overnight.
I'm with the people saying it wont work out. Most relationships dont and no matter how wonderful a personality and how cute a face, if interests aren't compatible (and how truly lives their life without doing anything of the things they are interested in? [shes already doing stuff she enjoys, even in the restrictive environment you see her in[) it wont last forever. So if you are unhappy with the way things are now, and you are waiting for an environmental change to act as a catalyst to changing her person then you are wasting your time and it wont work.
The Miniroman has spoken
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On December 31 2009 16:18 danl9rm wrote:
if you don't enjoy listening to her talking, especially if it's stuff she comes up with on her own, then you guys will never work out. dating her is a waste of time.
listen to me.. listen to these words..
the easiest, not the best(you'll understand this part later in life), but the easiest time you'll ever have in a relationship is during dating. if she annoys you in conversation, i don't see it getting better.
also worth noting: i'm sure you believe you have the whole story on the "jackass" of a boyfriend she had previously, but you don't. that story sounds sketchy to me, and i personally just think you need to turn tail on this one.
i understand you probably have a lot more experience than me but trust me on a few things. I have met her old boyfriend, he is a senior in HIGH SCHOOL (I'm 18 but a sophomore in college) with a 2.3 GPA that thinks hes gonna make it in the Navy Seals. Big dumbass that tried to marry my GF..
I'm not upset that it is annoying because i adore her but my life is so much different than hers because I am not under any constraints when it comes to going places, doing things and getting out of the house because I am moved out. On the other hand she just feels right and is in school like me so it seems to fit.
I appreciate the input though man
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On December 31 2009 16:40 KennigitsABaller wrote:
Can I still get those pics plz?
This is the only picture I have of her!! Terrible picture
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Just because someone doesn't like talking on the phone and listening to random boring stories their girlfriends make up just to stay on the phone longer doesn't mean they should breakup.
OP made it pretty clear he likes her personality jus not listening to her talk about random crap on the phone. I had the exact same situation with my gf.
lts pretty annoying my girlfriend used to want to talk on the phone EVERY SECOND we wern't hanging out like even after i dropped her off she be like okay call me when u get home! im like wtf why would i want to call u? if i had something to say i woulda jus said it when i was with you. I'm not a phone guy i hate talking to anyone on the phone and she would get mad at me for having nothing to say. Also she really had nothing interesting to talk about since she doesn't have many hobbies or interests.
eventually i got my way or she stopped trying and we havn't had a real conversation over the phone for about a year now ;P
It doesn't mean i don't love her we are both happy together
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On December 31 2009 17:14 MiniRoman wrote:
Thats assuming shes not content with the type of life she leads now. Lots of people rebel when they have really strict parents, this girl in particular seems to be fine with the way her life is going. I.E. when she is free of her parents, it wont be a night and day transformation where she goes out and starts getting wasted having crazy party stories (is that what you are looking for when you say she doesn't "experience" life???) and suddenly is able to converse with you for hours on end. It just seems like OP isn't interested in her overall likes and hobbies and those things never change overnight.
I'm with the people saying it wont work out. Most relationships dont and no matter how wonderful a personality and how cute a face, if interests aren't compatible (and how truly lives their life without doing anything of the things they are interested in? [shes already doing stuff she enjoys, even in the restrictive environment you see her in[) it wont last forever. So if you are unhappy with the way things are now, and you are waiting for an environmental change to act as a catalyst to changing her person then you are wasting your time and it wont work.
The Miniroman has spoken
I understand all of this. The thing is we do share many of the same interests and the time i spend with her seems right and it is not awkward at all! We both love education and being in hard fields and can laugh at the same things. She is ok with me smoking weed and I tolerate her sheltered life because i really do have feelings for her. Remember i have known her as a good friend for almost 3 years so it is not like i just want to fuck her or something. She does rebel though which is why i have hope. She has already had 2-3 boyfriends and she is not a virgin so she has the capacity to be out going.. (To any retard that criticizes me about not being a virgin=outgoing stfu i know it's a terrible analogy but you should get what I mean)
The environment change would be pretty drastic so it could bring alot of different beahviors. Think about college dorms to moving into your own place, its alot different.
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On December 31 2009 17:19 Pengu1n wrote:
Just because someone doesn't like talking on the phone and listening to random boring stories their girlfriends make up just to stay on the phone longer doesn't mean they should breakup.
OP made it pretty clear he likes her personality jus not listening to her talk about random crap on the phone. I had the exact same situation with my gf.
lts pretty annoying my girlfriend used to want to talk on the phone EVERY SECOND we wern't hanging out like even after i dropped her off she be like okay call me when u get home! im like wtf why would i want to call u? if i had something to say i woulda jus said it when i was with you. I'm not a phone guy i hate talking to anyone on the phone and she would get mad at me for having nothing to say. Also she really had nothing interesting to talk about since she doesn't have many hobbies or interests.
eventually i got my way or she stopped trying and we havn't had a real conversation over the phone for about a year now ;P
It doesn't mean i don't love her we are both happy together
HOW DID YOU DO IT???? Luckily she really doesn't try to call me that much except every fucking night when we had been texting all day.... I know what you did today already! Then bam, bullshit nonsense about some trip she already told me about 5 times.. Oh kristine you trouble me!!
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haha i duno i think it just passed with time, at the beginning of relationships girls want to talk on the phone every second. Its hard if you get into a routine of always talking for a long time every night too. If thats the case you have to break it. Try telling her you will call her before bed just to say goodnight or w/e.
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On December 31 2009 17:34 Pengu1n wrote:
haha i duno i think it just passed with time, at the beginning of relationships girls want to talk on the phone every second. Its hard if you get into a routine of always talking for a long time every night too. If thats the case you have to break it. Try telling her you will call her before bed just to say goodnight or w/e.
That's what ive been doing or ill say hey i gotta go to my friends ill talk to you tommorow babe :DD
I think it was really bad when i was high haha. It makes reality come out so hardcore..
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And as a side note I just realized how infintely small everything is on a cosmic scale so I should just appreciate people in my life
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Is your name Jack by any chance?
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Norway28854 Posts
rofl if talking to her is annoying now its not going to be any better when you've spent more time together and exhausted conversation topics....
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Maybe you should take her out and show her the world? Give her some topics to talk about...When you get a chance take her away from her parents and do things out of the ordinary. I think you need to quit complaining and do something about the situation.
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Its almost like she would rather have a shit conversation with you just for the sake of talking to you. Its not a bad thing but I know it can get annoying. When I moved away for graduate school from my now ex-fiance she did the same thing. We would txt throughout the day and we were both really busy and didn't do anything exciting on most days but yet we would always talk at the end of the night and most of the time the conversations would be so Meh. I think women just like talking to the one they like even if it sucks.
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United States4796 Posts
You're certainly not high.
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On December 31 2009 23:09 leftykill wrote:
Maybe you should take her out and show her the world? Give her some topics to talk about...When you get a chance take her away from her parents and do things out of the ordinary. I think you need to quit complaining and do something about the situation.
This is what i have been trying to do! I told her that I wanted her to come to two parties (today and tommorow) but she is not able to go to either of them!!! At least on Sat. We can hang out for a WHOLE DAY omg and I will bring her some places or something.. It is pretty frustrating not seeing your GF for weeks at a time though..
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On January 01 2010 03:49 Slaughter wrote:
Its almost like she would rather have a shit conversation with you just for the sake of talking to you. Its not a bad thing but I know it can get annoying. When I moved away for graduate school from my now ex-fiance she did the same thing. We would txt throughout the day and we were both really busy and didn't do anything exciting on most days but yet we would always talk at the end of the night and most of the time the conversations would be so Meh. I think women just like talking to the one they like even if it sucks.
Yea I see... I don't understand that!
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On December 31 2009 22:12 Liquid`Drone wrote:
rofl if talking to her is annoying now its not going to be any better when you've spent more time together and exhausted conversation topics....
Yes but we have a great time when we do see each other and in real life when we have nothing to say we can just kiss or w/e and there is zero awkward silence!
Update: This morning she asked me to call her when I woke up and i did for a bit and we talked about some more interesting things.. Maybe she is just boring and cranky when she is sick or something...
Thanks for the input everyone
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Calgary26003 Posts
The answer to every relationship problem ever: Talk to her.
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On January 01 2010 07:07 Chill wrote:
The answer to every relationship problem ever: Talk to her.
She gets really defensive, says she will fix it then keeps doing it. i will try being super direct if it gets bad and update this later though..
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On December 31 2009 14:41 Hypnosis wrote:Show nested quote +On December 31 2009 14:39 Whiplash wrote:
2 hours away?
Try finding someone more convenient. She is the person i like right now.. She will be moving soon to fort collins which is alot closer as well.
Problem solved. Just be patient.
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Talking on the phone is super lame. I used to play Minions when I was on long-D with my girlfriend (while web-cam'ing too!) I tried once with SC, bad idea...
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On January 01 2010 09:25 Cambium wrote:Talking on the phone is super lame. I used to play Minions when I was on long-D with my girlfriend (while web-cam'ing too!) I tried once with SC, bad idea...
Yea I always browse Tl and Ill randomly crack up and she's like wtf?
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hahahahahaha update. This shit is funny, turns out I didn't really like her at all..
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holy shit its hypnosis
sup dawg come to a colorado meetup IMO
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On July 23 2011 16:45 LeperKahn wrote:
holy shit its hypnosis
sup dawg come to a colorado meetup IMO
Are there any still?? i would haha but i mainly play sc2 now
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I dunno maybe. I saw one a little while ago, but I couldn't go. I think all these nerds play SC2 anyway.
Shame it didn't work out with girly. :[
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Its cool man, I have a much better gf now
Yea, I only play it because I have alot of time to kill lately. once school starts no more games for me,, or so I say !
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