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That is pretty crazy but yeah at a different level its amazing how differently people interpret different situations. Hope "Lisa" is okay, and you, considering a friend of yours turned out to...not be who you expected. All the best going forward dude.
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That can be a haunting thought, to wonder if you've ever done something that really offended/hurt someone when you thought nothing of it. I can think of a few stories from my own life but they're super minor, nothing of that sort. Guy's a real jerk, I hate that kind of lack of respect. Things like that mess people's lives up.
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Man, it reminds me of this stupid thing I did when I was really young. Long story short, when I was young, like the 4th/5th grade or something, I used to like watching wrestling and tried a "wrestling move" on a pretty good friend at school because I thought it would be fun/funny. Well I nearly broke the kids arm and he ran away crying.
We parted ways as good friends shortly after that, probably due to what happened. I never even apologized at the time, I thought nothing of it. Some time in middle school I told him I was sorry and that I didn't realize I was hurting him (I legitimately thought he was playing along) and he forgave me pretty easily. He was/is such an innocent person, really really friendly guy, I felt so bad.
Who knows what would have changed if that never happened though. Maybe we'd still be good friends? Kind of scary to find out that something you thought wasn't a big deal was really hurtful to someone else though.
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Well tbh you can't be sure his answer was a sign of a lack of understanding of the situation. I mean he's probably perfectly aware that he sexually assaulted her but he won't just tell you "Oh yeah, Lisa. I assaulted her last year, she didn't like that at all but eh, whatever".
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So basically what it sounds like is you are contradicting yourself within this post by taking the girls side over the guys, without knowing the entire situation, do you think you can believe everything she said over what the guy said? Do you know how many girls cry rape or being molested when really it was just as much there fault as the guys? Sorry but this is childs play....you shouldn't just change your mind about moving in with "Mike" because of what some girl says lol
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Going from just the information you posted, I would assume you got played for sympathy by "Lisa".
The tell-tale part was the insistence that they didn't have sex. That isn't how someone that's actually been assaulted would talk about the situation. The insistence is how someone attempting to cover up the fact they almost blew up their relationship with a fling would talk.
I would also suspect two other things: what happened between Mike and Lisa involved alcohol & Tim + Lisa were dating at that time.
If those two assumptions are true, then the important question is: why would you believe Lisa over Mike? Mike could still be a jerk and Lisa isn't necessarily unfaithful, but alcohol + regret can convince people of many things that aren't true. And it's not like people haven't been believing their own rationalizations since the dawn of Time.
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Seems like another instance of he said she said. I would believe neither zzzz
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It's a weird story for sure. All I know is that I've got a daughter and if at some point she comes to me and says "Daddy, some dude tried to fuck me and I refused but he inflicted pain on me...", well, I will then literally torture the guy and break a few ribs before asking him for an explanation. This is so because I actually trust my child would not abuse my trust in her and tell the story in a wrong way. My point is that maybe Lisa is a trustworthy person and Mike's side doesn't matter to Darkhorse.
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On February 07 2015 19:44 hymn wrote: It's a weird story for sure. All I know is that I've got a daughter and if at some point she comes to me and says "Daddy, some dude tried to fuck me and I refused but he inflicted pain on me...", well, I will then literally torture the guy and break a few ribs before asking him for an explanation. This is so because I actually trust my child would not abuse my trust in her and tell the story in a wrong way. My point is that maybe Lisa is a trustworthy person and Mike's side doesn't matter to Darkhorse. Amazing and heartwarming display of love and justice right there.
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United States15275 Posts
There are many different reasons why these two people could have such opposing reactions. You don't have enough information to make a judgment on it. Frankly, anything that can be inferred at this point is just conjecture.
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On February 07 2015 17:12 Taf the Ghost wrote: Going from just the information you posted, I would assume you got played for sympathy by "Lisa".
The tell-tale part was the insistence that they didn't have sex. That isn't how someone that's actually been assaulted would talk about the situation. The insistence is how someone attempting to cover up the fact they almost blew up their relationship with a fling would talk.
How would you know? I think it's pretty conceivable that you would want to make it clear that there was no sex/rape.
Whatever the details of what happened are and how credible Lisa really is. It's pretty clear that Mike at least is a complete jerk if not even worse.
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On February 07 2015 16:53 GGzerG wrote: So basically what it sounds like is you are contradicting yourself within this post by taking the girls side over the guys, without knowing the entire situation, do you think you can believe everything she said over what the guy said? Do you know how many girls cry rape or being molested when really it was just as much there fault as the guys? Sorry but this is childs play....you shouldn't just change your mind about moving in with "Mike" because of what some girl says lol That was my reaction also. Two people feel like they're innocent in this situation so she's right because reasons.
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On February 07 2015 16:53 GGzerG wrote: So basically what it sounds like is you are contradicting yourself within this post by taking the girls side over the guys, without knowing the entire situation, do you think you can believe everything she said over what the guy said? Do you know how many girls cry rape or being molested when really it was just as much there fault as the guys? Sorry but this is childs play....you shouldn't just change your mind about moving in with "Mike" because of what some girl says lol This is how I felt reading it too... I kept expecting read that according to "Mike" it had been a drunken misunderstanding that "Lisa" had accused him of.
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United States23455 Posts
On February 07 2015 17:12 Taf the Ghost wrote: Going from just the information you posted, I would assume you got played for sympathy by "Lisa".
The tell-tale part was the insistence that they didn't have sex. That isn't how someone that's actually been assaulted would talk about the situation. The insistence is how someone attempting to cover up the fact they almost blew up their relationship with a fling would talk.
I would also suspect two other things: what happened between Mike and Lisa involved alcohol & Tim + Lisa were dating at that time.
If those two assumptions are true, then the important question is: why would you believe Lisa over Mike? Mike could still be a jerk and Lisa isn't necessarily unfaithful, but alcohol + regret can convince people of many things that aren't true. And it's not like people haven't been believing their own rationalizations since the dawn of Time. Hello! Just going to clarify a few things.
Tim and Lisa were 100% not dating when this occurred. Both sides of the story reflect this. I am not aware how much of a factor alcohol was. Both people said that they were at a party when this happened but neither said how much they had to drink. Possibly one or the other or both didn't mention that they were drunk because of shame? Dunno
Her insistence that the two of them did not have sex came from me. I immediately jumped to the conclusion (this is a common thing I do can you tell) that she had been raped by him, and she wanted to make sure I knew that she hadn't.
Thanks!
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On February 07 2015 19:44 hymn wrote: It's a weird story for sure. All I know is that I've got a daughter and if at some point she comes to me and says "Daddy, some dude tried to fuck me and I refused but he inflicted pain on me...", well, I will then literally torture the guy and break a few ribs before asking him for an explanation. This is so because I actually trust my child would not abuse my trust in her and tell the story in a wrong way. My point is that maybe Lisa is a trustworthy person and Mike's side doesn't matter to Darkhorse.
Yea i'm sure you would do that lol, the big bad daddy coming to save the day. Get real.
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United States15275 Posts
On February 07 2015 19:44 hymn wrote: It's a weird story for sure. All I know is that I've got a daughter and if at some point she comes to me and says "Daddy, some dude tried to fuck me and I refused but he inflicted pain on me...", well, I will then literally torture the guy and break a few ribs before asking him for an explanation. This is so because I actually trust my child would not abuse my trust in her and tell the story in a wrong way. My point is that maybe Lisa is a trustworthy person and Mike's side doesn't matter to Darkhorse.
Every parent believes this. It's one reason why skepticism of rape testimony is so common.
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