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More Poetry

Blogs > Laertes
Post a Reply
Deleted User 97295
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
1137 Posts
November 22 2014 18:04 GMT
#1
--- Nuked ---

*
hp.Shell
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2527 Posts
November 22 2014 20:51 GMT
#2
I'm not much of a critic, but the last few lines have me confused.. why would you switch to "one's fingers" when the entire time you've been using first-person plural -"we,us..." I don't like this change, it was quite sharp.
Please PM me with any songs you like that you think I haven't heard before!
MoltkeWarding
Profile Joined November 2003
5195 Posts
November 23 2014 04:16 GMT
#3
Who is Adam Foltin? Is this you? I would like to know to whom I am addressing my remarks before I make them.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
November 23 2014 22:54 GMT
#4
I'm confused what you are trying to get across. Usually a poem is pushing a message, something that the author wants the reader to get in his/her own way and understanding. Whatever message that reader gets is great of course, but usually the author has something in mind. I can't tell what you were trying to tell me here.
User was warned for too many mimes.
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