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being a “writer” really blows, I don't know about you... but when I see a cute girl, instead of being a normal rational human being and talking to her, I instead picture us kissing. And it doesn’t even have to be a girl I know, it can literally be a complete stranger, she could be a complete bitch. I have no idea, but I just assume, from her looks, because if I wrote a story she'd be an angel , that she must also be this fictional image of perfection in real life. Then, once I've built her up in my mind to be this deity, this goddess that a lowly nobody like myself could never hope to go out with. I resign myself to sighing at the thought of making her laugh, and I leave whatever public place I saw this other human being in. A lot of the time what I write, is very over the top romanticized and... Jaded towards a happy ending. It's my style, I live the life I wish I had through my writing... most recently, there's been a particularly intriguing girl at the grocery store, I don't even know her name , and she's showing just about every sign I know of being a bitch. But for some reason, I can't get her out of my head. The simple solution to this, would be to talk to her, casually ask about her the next time I see her. This would resolve all my questions, either she'd blankly reject me, which would let me know that no matter what kind of a person she may or may not be, she certainly isn’t interested in me. Or she might reveal her true form as a substance-less twat... but maybe, maybe she won't be like the others. Maybe she’ll laugh at my literary references, maybe she won't find my fingers too long or my lips too strangely placed. Maybe she won't spare me one look at send me packing. In some ways, maybe is a more powerful word that a definitive yes. It tantalizes us... it makes us anxious - sweaty - clammy and excited.
Regardless of how one such conversation would go, I'm too much of a chicken to step even slightly outside of my comfort zone. I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I don't even attempt to pursue her. To be completely frank, I don't even know why I picture these myriads anymore. Once it had /b/some/b/ sort of meaning... when I went to class with people and the girls I was fantasizing about dating were people that I interacted with on a daily basis... But now it's not much more than a mental circle jerk of false white knighting... or something.
It's not even that I lack confidence with girls, I feel like I know how to talk to girls, I know when to 'make a move' ...I get it. What I don't understand, is my own value in the eyes of girls. Am I a catch ? Am I the guy that she asks her best friend to distract while she moves in on my friend ? Am I the stereotypical high school nerd who never grew up, who everyone half expects to come out of the closet any day now... It might be because I've been depressed for years, and have a really negative view of myself ? The only thing I'm proud of, is my writing. But because I’m super biased for writers I'm just not sure if I'm over or underrating myself... zzz. Also, we're the same age... like 18/19. (She went the the same school I did for a year. Never talked to her, different classes and all.)
Thanks for reading this 3am rant... Oh and I just realized that it might actually be completely inappropriate to ask a cashier out while she's working. Oh also, not actually a native English speaker, so try to refrain from being a complete ass when it comes to my poor grammar. This is a blog… not an article in the Times. anyways... good night TL <3.
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You don't need to be a catch, you just need to:
+ Show Spoiler +
But don't really. Getting a girl's attention, who isn't demonstrably interested in you is by and large related to establishing a dialog. You seem to be expecting some type of click off the bat which happens yes, but a lot of times it doesn't.
I asked the girl I've been with for coming on four years out once a year until she said yes and she was and continues to be out of my league. Its a kind of shit in one hand wish in the other and see which fills up first kind of situation you are stuck in mentally.
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grab super xxxxxl condoms, go to her checkout, while paying with a 500$ note ask her out
works 90% all of the time
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Since I'm not a writer I can't relate to you wanting to kiss girls.
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Eventually you'll realize that good looks are overrated and fade out with time. They just don't matter. You're priorities will align and the pining will wain.
But for now you can enjoy the elation while it lasts; write poetry, fantasize, whatever floats your boat. There will come a time when a more jaded you endearingly remembers the passion of fantasy, and long for feelings you once had, feelings that now only succumb to the dreary grind of daily life.
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On June 03 2014 16:16 CecilSunkure wrote: Eventually you'll realize that good looks are overrated and fade out with time. They just don't matter. You're priorities will align and the pining will wain.
But for now you can enjoy the elation while it lasts; write poetry, fantasize, whatever floats your boat. There will come a time when a more jaded you endearingly remembers the passion of fantasy, and long for feelings you once had, feelings that now only succumb to the dreary grind of daily life.
fuck that makes me sad
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ALLEYCAT BLUES49479 Posts
On June 03 2014 16:16 CecilSunkure wrote: Eventually you'll realize that good looks are overrated and fade out with time. They just don't matter. You're priorities will align and the pining will wain.
But for now you can enjoy the elation while it lasts; write poetry, fantasize, whatever floats your boat. There will come a time when a more jaded you endearingly remembers the passion of fantasy, and long for feelings you once had, feelings that now only succumb to the dreary grind of daily life.
Reality is a bitch.
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LOL I can tell you that all my BA in English: Creative Writing was useful for is picking up women. Even the cheesiest of all cliched romance writers can do this.
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51431 Posts
Small talk, you don't have to ask her out. Just small talk. When your paying for your groceries just ask her how she is. Im sure she says Hi to the customer, just say hi back followed by another question. "Hi, how are you today" etcetc if she replies with a question or asks about you then see how far you get the conversation going for. Then the more times you see her you can get a bit more information out of her.
If not just do the xxxxxxxxl condoms and pay with $500 trick XD
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Your thoughts on kissing strangers are your own and probably natural. But don't put people on pedestals.
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On June 04 2014 00:55 obesechicken13 wrote: Your thoughts on kissing strangers are your own and probably natural. But don't put people on pedestals. Indeed. Yeah, it's something I've kind of had an issue with in the past but, I think I’ve gotten past that now. I'm just more or less intimidated by the thought of having misjudged a person even more so than rejection ? I wouldn’t mind being told; "Aww that's sweet, but you're really not my type." That's fine... "Uhm... I have a boyfriend." Also fine. "What... eugh, are you serious?!" Not so fine. I suppose at some point I'll become so lonely in the romantic sense of the word, that I’ll overcome this insecurity and go for it. The thing is, I study from home... so between my studies / writing / playing sc2 (this is TL.net after all) I don’t actually “go out” anymore. I don’t even have any non-esports friends left. So this type of risk/reward social interaction is quite far out of my comfort zone. But it remains the only way for me to have any chance of meeting anyone for the time being, I feel like It’s a little bit pathetic to give up on meeting someone in real life completely and join a dating site at 19. Shouldn’t I at least be 29, an art major, and sending child support to two different artsy “free spirit” girls before that ? … Sorry if anyone bothered rechecking this thread and found what I just wrote offensive. I find writing my thoughts down cathartic, and TL is SOMETIMES an intelligent place to discuss things and / or thoughts…as long as they don’t concern Terran balance tears. ;;
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Like Pandemona said; small talk. And since you say you know how to talk to girls (you're doing better than two of my roommates), small talk will get you in the door, and allow you to feel her out (lol) to see if she's actually cool or not. I have seen my friends struggle with this, but I always say, confidence means a lot. Regardless of if you're the best looking dude or the not-best looking dude, girls will love that you have the confidence to talk and joke around, and not be the awkward guy that buys groceries every day without looking her in the eyes or saying a word.
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@Mistakes. LOL :p. Yeah, it always surprises me when guys are incapable of holding a conversation with a girl because she's "out of his league". LOL, YOU made that shit up, you're the one who put her in that imaginary league... if you were just being yourself, she might actually like you!
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The problem is too many men (myself included) treat attractive/interesting women as a "prospect." We get so caught up in the chase that we forget meeting a new friend is also an awesome feeling. And, frankly, we'd find more success if we approached these women as potential friends rather than thinking "I wonder what our wedding will look like" before introducing yourself. You won't put as much pressure on yourself, which will hopefully allow you to relax enough to show you're actually worth her time.
Of course, this opens the door to being friend-zoned a lot, so the struggle becomes about learning how/when to show that you are interested in being more than just friends without stepping on any toes and ruining what might otherwise be a fruitful friendship. It's a tricky thing to balance.
I admit women have it pretty hard when it comes to social acceptance and physical appearance in a shallow society etc etc, but people don't seem to realize just how much pressure a man can really experience when it comes to dating and sexuality.
Life is cray.
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On June 03 2014 12:16 teddyoojo wrote: grab super xxxxxl condoms, go to her checkout, while paying with a 500$ note ask her out
works 90% all of the time
Holy fuck. I need to go visit my local hot supermarket girl tomorrow, this is golden advice.
I actually went shopping with my mother last week and she basically cockdropped me with this cute girl at a checkout. I mean im married so i didnt give a fuck wasnt interested anyway, but it was lolz worthy the way my mother literally cockdropped me.
+ Show Spoiler +yes i saw the writing fail
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