On Why Not to Get Too Drunk - Page 4

I live 12 miles out of NYC, so that\'s usually where we go for a good time. Anyone who\'s been there knows it costs an arm and a leg to drink, so you HAVE TO pregame. I live about 3-4 blocks away from Main Ave. in my city, where there is a Spanish bus (98% of the people there are spanish and don\'t speak a word of english and there\'s always spanish music blasting; the other 2% are smart college kids) that goes to Port Authority. It stops at a lot of other places along the way, which makes the trip longer. But for $3.50 for a 45minute to hour trip, it is more than worth it.

Plus, the people on there could give a flying fuck what you do. Kids blow lines there, drink on it, blaze, all sorts of shit. Last weekend, my friend threw up all over. Anyway, we all hop in (liek 6 of us) with a bottle of jack (split into several pepsi bottles) a bottle of captan (split same way.) and some cheap beer. I drank most of the captian myself during this adventure (it\'s my favorite ). However, there was an assload of traffic, so this ended up into a 2 hour wait almost. I am completely trashed in a bus, with no bathroom. I cant hold it in any more, so i grab one of the empties and turn facing the window and piss in it. I hear all my friends laughing; we were dead stop in the middle of an intersection and my window was facing three lanes of traffic, which i somehow ddidnt notice.

We finally get dropped off and, since i broke the seal, i gotta go again. (at this point, im pretty much blacked out). Apparently, I went into the lobby of some building where there was no security and just pissed to avoid the cops. We head over to the village and start bar hopping. My friends tell me that I was still reasonably coordinated for being blacked out, cuz i was able to help wing man for a bit, without remembering a damn word i said (LIQUID COURAGE!!). However, my friends kept feeding me drinks and I could barely stand, so they take me to get food to calm me down.

I go to take a piss at the pzza place, but find that it\'s literally a 15 minute wait. I was informed that i decided to take a piss on a plant in the place in the hallway of the bathroom and was promptly tossed out. Sometime after leaving, I spent a good wad of cash buying weed (and getting ripped off nicely in the process) from a random ass Jamaican guy.

They take me to another bar, but they wont let me in because im too drunk. Another bar makes the mistake of letting me in, and i find some girl, who apparently i must have angered, because we almost got into a fight with some dude after this and leave. On the way to the next bar, I throw up two times walking there. We get in, and i throw up i nthe bathroom ( this is when im starting to come around a little). I go outside by my friends who are laughing. I bump into one of my friends and put my arm on his shoulder n try to tell him to take me back cuz im sick as hell... and i look up and its some huge black dude. Thankfully, he didnt kill murder me.

We head back to the bus stop, and i pass out in a ball on the curb in front of everyone. I wake up, clinging to a fence, puking my brains out. We get on the bus and everyone passes out (its liek 5am now) i wake up and get us off the bus... and realize its the wrong stop, straight in the ghetto. I then have to chase a bus down 2 blocks to get back on it. We finally get back to my house and i black out again.

I wake up i nthe morning on my couch, fully clothed, shoes still on. My white polo is covered in bbq sauce (i was later told that i got a chicken shiskibob, THE BEST sstreet food ever, and made a mess) and my brothers standing over me. Apparently, i opened every door in the house, including the front and back doors. Furthermore, i went to my car, opened all the doors and windows and left it running for a couple hours in the driveway.

I didnt drink for like a week after this.